Jun 30, 2008

Banana George One of the Sexiest Men Alive?

You know what? The CRB is not afraid to admit it, Banana George kicks ass, but, sexy? He may have just "retired" recently, but, whatever, if we grow to be his age and kick as much ass as he can, well, we stand and applaud.

So, sexy men...hmm..
Thanks again to Growingbolder.com for the love. HEY! BANANA!! Speak your mind brotha man!

CRB Service Announcement: Drunk Guy in Boat Was Not Us

Its never a good idea to drink and drive, also not super smart to drink and boat...however, we have all been there were we spent a little to much money at the bar and had no means by way to get home.

Most of us would call a friend for a lift or hitch-hike or turn to a life on the streets of prostitution and drugs. This guy, however, had a much more novel, albeit, not smart ways of getting home, that being, stealing a rowboat and attempting to paddle home.

From "The Local", which is "Sweden's news in English" we have this excerpt from the article.
After a short while, the drunken man grew weary and passed out in the bottom of his boat, hoping that the currents would carry him safely to Swedish shores.

He was later discovered by the Danish coast guard, which had been alerted about what was thought to be an abandoned dinghy adrift in one of the world’s busiest shipping lanes.
We salute your can-do attitude and choice of water bound vessels, but, somewhere Darwin is shaking his head at a missed opportunity.

Jun 29, 2008

Jump Finals

WOW an event with out one of the top 2 in the finals. Roger and Scot Ellis said they could not remember the last time that has happend. There have been other people on top of the podium but never an event with out those two. But thats how the cookie crumbles.

Kiwi put up a 209 (I think).

Damian Sharmen came out and put up a solid 214 or 65.1 meters. A great score for a jumper that has been pushing his way slowly up the ladder for the past few years.

Jason Seals was the last off the dock and put up a couple of 214s. 65.1 meters on his second jump to tie with Damian and then pushed it .1 meters further on his final jump. That 65.2 meters put him just a mater of inchs from forcing a jump off with the Candian muscle man Ryan Dodd.

Dodd, 3rd off the dock, took home his first Pro victory and a nice 5400 dollar check. Not a bad weekends worth of work

This tourny showed us that the new cats are here to stay. Dodd taking down his first pro tour win, Karina knocking off the big girls again, and Cale giving JB a run for his money. So exciting, and the webcasts bring it all to our couchs. woot.

oh yea and I won 2 shirts by getting two trivia questions correct. Totally beating out Scot Ellis on one. Take that SKIFLY, the CRB is the new kid on the block.

Slalom finals

This has been an awsome day of skiing, defintly worth the 6 bucks.

The women laid it all on the line and put up quite a few runs into 39 and are putting Kristi on notice, her record is on the minds of quite a few of these women.

Karina makes a hugh statement by taking down her second tour event in two weekends. She showed she is no fluke by running 38 every time she hit the water. Nicole Arthur gave Karina a run for her money but came up just short.

Karina taking down 2 tournaments the week of her 21st birthday. I think she does not support the CRB school of birthday drinking.

It would be pushing it to see me get up on a ski with in a week of my 21st.

/cuddles with toilet

Cale Burdick took down Marcus brown with 2@41 vs Marcus' 1@41 to set up one half of the final. While JB took down Nick Parsons when Nick went down early to give us a finals made up of the Boilermaker Cale Burdick, the young upstart as Tadd and Aaron refered to him all weekend vs the personality of JB who has been pushing the world record the last few years.

Cale came in right after taking down Marcus and had to throw on his ski again and had to hit the water up first in his head to head against JB. Cale ran a little rough 38 and a scrappy 39 to finish off with a very respectable 1@41. JB came out and ran a 39 that looked like a 32 and was able to round one with enough left to sling across to 2 ball where he kicked out the tail. But that 1.5@41 was enough to give him the top of the podium and take home that 8 grand from MasterCraft and the pro tour win. All around an amazing finals. Congrats to Cale for a solid 2nd place, his best on the pro tour, this kid will take one down pretty soon if he keeps skiing like he has been.

Recent graduate from Purdue's Pharmacy school laid it all on the line and put up some amazing scores.

JB has put up some awsome scores in years past and as he often does proved he was just to much for the competition and took home a nice check as well. Would be nice to see him get into 43 again some time.

Its a nightmare for Freddy and Jaret

Freddy and Jaret have done something that has not happend for as long as I can remember, Im betting its been at least 5 or 6 years, they both missed the finals. The finals coming up later this afternoon will guarentee a new name up on the top of the podium.

Damian Sharmen made the first finals I can remember him in with a 211 foot jump.
/not doing much research

Kyle Eade made the finals with a 210 (I belive) with both Freddy and Jaret puting up sub 210 scores.

Ryan Dodd has become a common site in the finals, but has just been a bit short of his fellow Canadian and Freddy but today may be his day.

Jason Seals, "Mr. Consistancy" as Scot Ellis calls him rounds out the finals. This is his chance to put another win on his record. He has spent a long time in the top guys shadows and here is his chance to show that he is one of the big dogs.

/could not find a good pic

//to lazy to keep looking

Sunday Pro Tour Stop

Trying something here, and no idea if its going to work. This thread is for people who are watching the sunday pay for webcast of the pro-tour stop in Alabama.

A CRB friend, Tadd, is a peep who visits our site, and we appreciate it...in fact he gave us a shout out today on the webcast.

We may or may not have read his comment right about Sunday, but, the rowboat is not going to be able to watch the events. But, if you are watching, please use the comment area to send in questions and comments to Tadd.

We can't watch the event, please let us know, give us your questions, and for goodness sakes, comment away.

Wakeboarding for the jihadists

Zane made a trip down to Guantanamo Bay and showed the troops some top notch boarding.

Jun 27, 2008

Whoa, They Are Allready Skiing!!

Well, we must admit that we missed the start of the Pro Tour Stop in Alabama, what with being at work and all. But, once again its on the webcaster and lifted from the usawaterski website, we have:
In Friday's opening round of women's slalom, Australia’s Karina Nowlan and Canada's Whitney McClintock each scored 2 buoys at 39-1/2 feet off to lead the scoring. U.S. athlete April Coble-Eller and Great Britain's Nicole Arthur also cleared the 38 off pass, scoring 1 buoy at 39-1/2 feet off and a 1-1/2 buoys at 39-1/2 feet off, respectively. U.S. athletes Karen Truelove, Jennifer Leachman-LaPoint and Jill Knutson scored 3-1/2 buoys at 38 feet off, 1-1/2 buoys at 38 feet off, and 1 buoy at 28 feet off, respectively.Other scores: Australia's Emma Sheers, 4-1/2 buoys at 38 feet off; Canada's Breanne Wagner, 2-1/2 buoys at 38 feet off; France's Anais Amade, 1-1/2 buoys at 38 feet off; Great Britain's Sarah Green, 1-1/2 buoys at 38 feet off; Sweden's Josephine Edeback-Hurst, 2 buoys at 28 feet off; and Sweden's Hannah Edeback, ½ buoy at 38 feet off.
Yeah, ok. just watch it and enjoy. By the way, we do have a CRB friend at the tournament who said that they would send some pictures or stories should they warrant it. So, that's cool.

Plus, Tadd, he is one of the announcers and a tour organizer, said in the comment section of an earlier post that they are giving away a bunch of free stuff on Sunday and even some stuff to the web-camers. So, bust out the Credit Cards, pay the man the dollas!!

Saturday at 10:00 Central. So, we missed the whole damn day. Well played.

Jun 26, 2008

Tom Jones Approves of this Wakeboard Tournament

Sexual intercourse, in its biological sense, is the act in which the male reproductive organ (in humans and other higher animals) enters the female reproductive tract, called copulation or coitus in other reference.

A bomb is a device that generates and releases its energy very rapidly. The explosion creates a violent, very destructive shock wave.

Well, those two things sound very similar don't they? Well, at least for those lucky enough to copulate with the Rowboat.


Well, Sex Bomb, the Band is playing this weekend at a local wakeboard tournament in Peterborough, Ontario called the Kawartha Lakes Wakeboard Open.

Lucky for them this year, or unlucky depending on your point of view, there doesn't appear to be the bikini competition right before they go on-stage. Which, for them, we suppose is good, its sort of hard to be a band named Sex Bomb made up of a bunch of 30 some year old dudes rocking cover versions of Counting Crows to get any attention after a bunch of babes wearing bikinis prance around.

Anyways, the Kawartha Lakes Wakeboard Open is this weekend in Peterborough and, if nothing else, they have an ass-load of sponsors. Or their pimped myspace page just barfed all over their website.
It is official the Kawartha Lakes Wakeboard OPEN 2008 will be downtown Peterborough. Beavermead Park on Little Lake will be the site for this years action packed event. Formerly called the KLWC ICEBREAKER,this annual event is in its fourth season. It is Peterborough and the Kawarthas premier wakeboard and summer event.
Tee Hee, beaver.

Well, we think it all looks cool, what say you Tom?

Jun 25, 2008

The Lake of Sin: Update

Update on our boy Rykert and his lake of sin and his thieving / squirrel hungry dog Nola, by his comments in our post about Coralville, he seems to be doing fine and "sidelined by irony"


From his comment:
I'm alive and well, thanks for the concern. Haven't skied for three weeks, I've been sidelined by irony. My house stayed dry, which is more than I can say for some parts of town. Hopefully I'll be able to ski again this week. As for Nola, sadly, her stash of coolers floated away.
To bad about the coolers, or her stash, whatever pothead dog.

Thanks for the update homey, if you want the CRB's thoughts, just say screw it, drop your 135 horse fish and ski in the road, fire it up and take a wicked skurfer set!

Twiggy Test: Roam Board

So I know this has been out for awhile but I think this is a product not many people have tried. It is the hyperlite Roam board. It is basically a giant snowboard on the water which allows you to do a million surface turns and hit rails pretty easy.So that is what it looks like. Kind of a cool concept. It seems to be a great thing to stick beginners on to teach them how to wakeboard. A few more details on the board. According to hyperlite.com

the roam board features: E Core, Torsion Flex, ABS Side Wall and Layered Glass. Which is a fancy way of saying that it is a board made out of wood, it is flexible it has a siderail to it and a glass like laminate. So getting to the point this is what Twiggy had to say:

"It was interesting to ride. Probably the easiest thing ever to get up on. I got a little dizzy after my surface 3600. It is easy to hit rails on just like a snowboard (great way to cheat in rail jams). Cutting through the wake was rediculous, to say the least. Because of the wide stance and all when I cut toeside my back foot just dug in the water. The coolest thing I did with this is take a whip and bring the board up on its tail. (Take a look at picture below).

(note: it took like 30 minutes to find this damn picture)

Conclusion: I spent about 20 minutes on this thing, that is good for me for the year. Correction I may take that whip faster after a few more PBRs. I would also like to thank the CRB for this chance to work with them, I am so greatful that you rescued me from Rykert's evil dog Nola."

Oh Nola-you are trouble....

Jun 24, 2008

Wondering How Rykert is Doing

The Fisherman vs. Waterskier fight took a turn for the weird

Back a while ago when the CRB first fired up, one of our first online bloggy buddies was Rykert, who had his own little waterski blog, Waterki, ETC, or as we like to think of it around here, Rykerts Lake of Sin.

Well, it dawned on me recently that we haven't heard from our buddy in Iowa, especially in the wake of the whole Nola stealing our cooler episode and conspiring to make our rowboat extreamly difficult to pilot.

Well, we have left a couple comments on his latest post, something about a gross looking toenail, and haven't heard back and we got to thinking, with all the flooding in the mid-west, how has that affected him. So we googled Coralville, IA (where he says he is from, we just figured its Iowa, look for corn and Rykert has to be there somewhere) anyways it turns out that along with Ceder Rapids, IA, that Coralville (outside of Iowa City) got hammered pretty good as well.

Here is a google search string for Coralville, IA news in google. (just so you can try and stay up to date)

You can see a Photo Gallery of pics from the Press-Citizen, a newspaper in nearby Iowa City, and by near by, its like, right there.

Interesting to note though, is that with the flooding and what not going on in the mid-west, there is a dam in Coralville with the flooding and whatnot has uncovered some unique things from Iowa's past, like, 375 million year old bones from when Iowa was a tropical sea.

Speaking of which, 375 million year old bones? Is that what the "Girls Next Door" get everynight from Hef? Hi-Ohhh!!

Continue tangent: Is there a trio of more moraly bankrupt girls then those three? I get brain crabs just thinking about it.

All goofing aside, we hope you are doing alright and things aren't to totally out of whack in your neck of the woods.

We talked about the flooding in the mid-west and how it affected the show ski teams and Tommy Bartlett, but, we didn't get into what was happening further south.

We hope you are doing allright, and of course in the ironic twist, that you will be back on the water soon, you know, with out that same water making a mess of things.

So, from the CRB community, hope to hear from you soon, hope all is well, or as good as can be expected, and you let us know whats going on. We got a new CRB Cooler and its stocked with the finest meats and cheeses, a thing of funions and cold Old Milwaukee. So, drop by and help yourself.

Hardshell vs. Traditional Bindings: Who Ya Got?

Jun 22, 2008

Fenton, MI pro tour stop

I just returned to the CRB offices from a great weekend at the Fenton MI MasterCraft pro tour stop. And besides a wicked sunburn I had a great weekend. The skiing was awsome and the head to head format was a blast to watch. It would have been great to see tricks and jump included. Maybe next year they will be able to add more events and return 3 event skiing to the tour.
Will Asher took down Nick Parsons for the victory in a great head to head match up which was set up with Will Asher taking down Cale Burdick in one semi final and Nick taking down Jamie Bueschene in the other semi. There was some great skiing all around and a couple surprises as well. Tom Brantley made his first finals while setting a new tourny PB of 1/2 at 41 off and Cale making it into the semi finals in his rookie season.
On the womens side Emma Sheers took down Karen truelove in one semi while Karina Nowlen took out Whitney Mclintock in the hottest match up I have seen to set up an all Australian Finals. In the finals Emma put up a score of 2 1/2 @ 39 off, a very respectable score, but color comentator April Coble's prediction that it would take at least 3 @ 39 off to win came true when Karina rounded 3 ball and rode it out for the win. Karina took home $5,400, which is a great way to celebrate her 21st birthday.
In the Master Mens finals Ben Favre was able to outlast the dominator of the Big Dawgs Scott Tynan and take home the 2 grand check. This would have been a fine check to offer up for a trick event...
There are some pics from the weekend that sooner or later I will get around to uploading, but for now im going to drink another Natty Light and get my sleep on. Indian Poker and Natural Ice are an ugly combination. The ODBF will never have at that combo again.

That Was Kinda Weak

Fantastic skiing this weekend in Michigan at the third leg of the Mastercraft Pro Tour. We at the CRB headquarters were entranced by what unfolded on our computer screens.

Note: Computer Screens at the CRB HQ = B&W Rabbit Ear TV

The image above is what we got when we logged onto the series of tubes to check out the action. Hmm...you have to pay to watch? I dunno about that. Maybe we hooked up our dial-up prodigy service wrong logged on to the wrong internet.
The organizers of this event have requested our 'Pay2view' service for the first time. Saturday will still be a 'Free2view' webcast but Sunday will only be available to viewers who pay $ 3.99 to watch for the event. Please visit the event website on WebCast-TV for more infomation and to Pre Purchase access for the event. 'Click Here'
Far be it from us to say how things should be or shouldn't be, but, this seems to strike us as a bit silly. In that, if you aren't an avid waterskier, why would you spend money, any money, to watch something you aren't even sure you care about in the first place?

Maybe if someone was there or watched it on the webcast you could comment and give us a run-down.

Jun 20, 2008

This Food Smells Foul

"Andy crawled to freedom through five-hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want too. Five-Hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile."

For the people of West Lafayette, Indiana, their swim will be slightly longer, but, for reasons unknown to the CRB, the local Wastewater treatment plant decided to schedule repairs the same week as the "Taste of Tippecanoe", a local festival celebrating all things foody.

The festival takes place in West Layfayette along the banks of the mighty Wabash River where, we hope for the sake of this post making any waterski sense, the Purdue University skis. If they don't, well, just imagine a thriving local community that really enjoys their tubes and skurfers on the Wabash.

That will certainly curtail the local waterski activities for the local residents, of which, one would be the Purdue Collegiate Ski Team. We wonder what Purdue's most famous waterskier has to say about this?

Whats funnier is that in order to combat the odor emminating from the poop, the festival organizers bought a $1,700 machine to mask the odors. What can someone purchase for that much money? Why, a gigantic fan!! With new and better odors in it!




The CRB is thinking about putting our best investagative reporter on this situation, something seems foul. We smell something amiss. This could be a shitty situation.

/pun attack.

We tend to think the inventor of this company, the smelly fan company, is actually responsible for this "scheduled" repair at the wastewater treatment plant. Think about it.

Step 1. Design anti-shit smell fan thing
Step 2. Find local food festival
Step 3. ???
Step 4. Profit!

Holy Smokes! What a good idea!

Can you imagine skiing around and smelling shit all over the place? All though if there was shits everywhere, you could slalom around them like a course!

Back to work Poopsmith!!

Can you imagine the sales tactics that this company must use to sell their anti-shit smell technology?

WardenNortonLOL: Lord! It's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind!

taterT.O.T: /cuts check

WardenNortonLOL:Don't you mention money to me again. You sorry SON OF A BITCH! NOT IN THIS ROOM, NOT EVER.

taterT.O.T: sorry? You are being obtuse.

/drops pen

Whoops...dang, I can't find the pen...

WardenNortonLOL: I want that pen found. Not tomorrow, not after breakfast - *now*.

taterT.O.T: You certainly are demanding. Anyways, I have another one.

Here you go. thx!

***ONLINE HOST*** taterT.O.T has left the chatroom

WardenNortonLOL: /puts check in bible, puts bible in safe in wall
/turns around
Get my stuff down t'laundry. Two suits for dry-clean and a bag of whatnot. Tell 'em if they over- starch my shirts again, they're gonna hear about it from me.

Babblingbrooks: /hangs self

Twiggy Test: Death by Slalom Binding...but they're so comfy!

Have you seen the new wakeboard bindings? They like custom fit to your feet and stuff....so comfy it's like wearing pillows on your feet! When is the ski industry going to embrace this. Skiers have hard shells, which is like sticking your foot in a woman's high heal...at least that is what ODBF told me.

There is also the good old rubber bindings which do a great job or ripping all of the hair of the top of your foot. Who needs coffee before there morning set, when you have foot hair being ripped out? Who are we kidding? When was the last time any of us on the CRB got up before noon?

Hey somebody has to keep the PBR stock going strong! Anyways I digress....what the hell was I talking about? Why am I up so early? Oh yeah, the bindings. So wakeboarders have these pillow bindings where are the skiers? Never fear cuz Radar is here. Radar has embraced the custom fit binding and made a pretty sweet hard/soft shell binding. The best of both worlds right? Maybe, maybe not.

They sure look sweet! So you can get the insert molded to your foot which is super comfy...and putting your foot in isn't like kicking a wall. The whole design is really cool. They mount to a custom plate which then mounts to your ski "allowing your ski to flex naturally." Whatever the fuck that means.

Pillow like liners....

Custom plate thingy....

So we stuck twiggy the waterskiing squirrel on them and saw what he had to say. After blowing his little squirrel load as he put his foot in the binding we threw him in the water (personal note: squirrels have sharp claws and look funny when wet). Twiggy tore up the course and got his damn swerve on. This is what twiggy had to say:

"Well, the bindings were super responsive. They respond like hardshells but are way more comfortable. The only thing I was worried about was not coming out of the binding."

Well Twiggy's worries came true as he rounded 4 ball at 41' off and 2 mph he took a bad out the front and the ski stayed right with him. We always liked Twiggy but now he is buried in a cardboard box behind the CRB mansion.

In all actuality, this innovation in skiing is really cool to see. Yeah they are a little scary but it is just one of those things you have to get used to, who needs ACLs anyway?

Keep looking for new Twiggy Tests, we are currently training a new Twiggy in the pond behind the CRB mansion. If any ski companies would like the CRB to test there new equipment...feel free to send us a promo!

**Ed. Note: Promo stuff can be sent to,
CRB Headquarters
attn: Rowboat Abides
c/o The Internet**

Update: To fill everyone in this is a one day test just to see how the binding responds. This was done with a single boot and a adjustable toe plate. Twiggy's partners and the future Twiggys will continue to test the RS-1 binding. Just to make everything clear I personally like the idea of the RS-1, but am unsure as to its saftey as of yet. Only future test's will tell.

Jun 19, 2008

Quick Notes: Its Never to Early to Plan for Next Year

The 2009 Collegiate All-Star Championships will be held May 16-17, 2009 at Beaver Lake in Ahoskie, NC.
Tee Hee...Beaver!

Also from NCWSA.COM
The west continues to grow as the University of Utah has started a Waterski Team. Norman Butler is the team captain and hopes to compete this fall.
Assuming that the team will be made up of 3 or 4 guys and 30 women. Get it? Cuz they are Mormons out there and they have lotta wives?

Hello? Is this thing on?

/tap tap


Atlanta to Midwest: Can we have some of your water?

15 years after the last "100 year" flood the Midwest is seeing another "100 year" flood. They should probably change the name to 15 year flood or something like that. Our team of trained gerbals and twiggy the waterskiing squirrel have hit "one of the internets" and found some heart breaking pictures for any waterskier.

The Five Seasons Ski Team in Ceder Rapids Iowa has lost most if not all of their ski season, as their site looks to be under water, and will most likely be covered in the nastyness that floods bring in.

Daddy, can we sit in the front row?

And here is what its supposed to look like.

Sally Ballet Girl: Tit bit nipply?

The edge of the Five Seasons Ski Site.

Looks to me like they are recovering very well. Who is the exec speaking to?
The Jansville Rock Aqua Jays ski site: Traxler park. As the Jansville Gazette said today "the next event at Traxler will be in November.

They are saying even after the water comes back down it will take months to sanitize all of the equipment and the park itself. They are expecting a thick sludge left from the massive amounts of sewage dumped up river by flooded water treatment plants.

Daddy why dident the river bring a plastic bag?

This is a house on Lake Delton on the same lake as the Tommy Bartletts ski show site. I don't see how any of these people are recovering nicely as they were not allowd to get flood insurance. Or all of the skiers who lost their jobs as their stage decided to make an end run around the dam and at the same time take a few homes with them.

Damn, in the future Ill pay for the girl scout cookies, those girls can be mean bitches.

Of course then there is the CRB ski site, save and out of the way of all the flooding affecting our friends in the midwest.

Ah peace and serenity

Oh come on now,not you again what did I anger the waterski gods?

/hides in corner

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...