Mar 31, 2009

Dont wear white after labor day

That just seems like odd advice to get from your apartment anyways. I mean, my apartment told me not to ski in the fish pond behind a truck and nothing bad happened there*.

*got evicted

oh yea, that part was not as cool.

housing fail!

An apartment sign like this seems like about as appropriate as discussing politics on the skiflies.
Speaking of the skiflies, Scot has put up a quaility fail pic of his own.

Mar 29, 2009

Pictures Full of Win

We intimated in a previous post how the sport of waterskiing really lends itself to some very unique images or videos one is willing to put forth the effort to think and try thing.

Most videos you see, or most pictures you see really, really suck. You get no real sense of the moment, or the scope of the situation. Meaning, for example, jumping is way more difficult and more involved then what you see from a normal "from shore" video.

I have seen videos of Freddy or Ryan or Jaret and in my own head I think, "well, jeez, I can do that, I just have to cut later", then you see a video that actually brings into focus the timing the effort and the skill that it takes.

Now, what we are getting at, is a simple shout out to John Mommer photography...we saw that they/he are/is listed as a credit for the Karina pic from the Ball of Spray interview, so we clicked on over to check it out.

The pic of Freddy above is awesome...but, that's just a start, there are so many good pics on that site (and side note: I did a screen grab of the pic...sorry!!!)

Anyways, go look! There is imagination in the pictures, thought about proper perspective and they just look freaking awesome...if there was a way for us to get him out I bet 100 dollars that they could make a 22 off pass look hard core!

Mar 27, 2009

Musical Weekend

A long long time ago, in a previous incarnation of the CRB we had a little post about music and what you listen to before/during/after skiing, be it to get you pumped up, to settle you down, whatever.

Well, just recently Pearl Jam re-released their epic first album "Ten". Which in and of itself is pretty cool, but, nothing special. However, they re-jiggered the album on the second disc of the legacy collection (I don't know either...guess there are a few versions). Anyways, its a so-called re-imagination of the album.

Its not remix like, club beats and method man rapping, but, some tweaks to the productions, bring to the front some of the strengths and quieting down or moving back some of the weaknesses. It makes the album feel both more raw and at the same time more personal and engaging. A strange combo.

Probably because I have listened to this album to the point of wearing out my CD. Yeah, that's technically impossible, but, its scratched to shit, has sat in our boat for years on end.

It was an album that just played non-stop forever, and listening to it reminds me of floating around after skiing all day, drinking beer, relaxing and, of course, chasing girls.

Well, the news of the remastered, redone version struck me as almost blasphemous, how could you go back and change what is really a seminal album of one of the best bands from the last 20 or so years?

So, with a dubious mind and skepticism in my brains I ventured forth and god damn was that worth it.

It was like being transported back in time while at the same time being very much in the present and appreciating something that is both timeless and at the same time timely. Does that make sense?

It wasn't even a total nostalgia trip, its amazing how the music holds up and kicks as much ass as anything today.

I can't find a clip of the re-done "Porch" but, here is their version of it from Letterman a year or so ago, which was epic on its on. Long story short, if you are younger and don't realize how good this band was, or for that matter is, but, Pearl Jam was a band, almost 20 years ago, that blew the doors off anyone else out there. Sure, Nirvana was at the same time, but, Pearl Jam was something was a thinking mans grunge band, equally confident in both rage and pain, in hate and empathy.

Its amazing when you listen to the re-done version of Ten. It both takes you back in time, and at the same time puts current music on notice that, Yes, in fact, this is how music should sound and feel.

Mar 26, 2009

USAWS Begs for members

So I recieved this letter thru the CRB spy network* and it raises some interesting questions.

*some dude emailed it to us.

1251Holy Cow Rd
Polk City, Florida 33868-8200
Phone: (863) 324-4341 Fax: (863) 325-8259
Web Site:

You are a principal of USA Water Ski, and that is why you are receiving this letter.

In this week’s USA Water Ski Executive Director Report, the first and foremost portion deals with the fact that we are not immune to the current economic chaos that has permeated the United States. We are seeing a significant reduction in membership. Hand-in-hand with the diminishing membership numbers, we also are facing substantial reductions in sponsorship development funds. We recognized the sponsorship issues early on, and as a direct result, we made a number of cuts to the 2009 budget and laid off three USA Water Ski employees in January. At that time, we thought our membership numbers would overall be flat (e.g. we thought we might lose a number of AWSA members, but gain NSSA members if the weather was not adverse up North as it was in 2008; and we hoped the other disciplines would balance out). So far the membership projections have not materialized, and we are now in the midst of implementing several new budget cuts. After this upcoming series of cuts, we will have little to reduce going forward, and we will find ourselves in a position that likely will impinge on the delivery of fundamental day-to-day services.

Repeating what I mentioned in the weekly report: “The undergirding foundation of every sport is its governing body. USA Water Ski provides symmetry to sport through the provision of rules, trained officials to enforce rules and grade performances, sanctioning programs that are appealing to event organizing committees, the regulation of boat towing capacities and speed control systems to bring consistency into this sport, advocating your right to access waterways, and, one of the most important ingredients, the provision of fairly priced insurance that protects everyone involved within the sport. Governing bodies, love them or not, bring legitimacy to a sport and eliminate chaos.”

It is virtually impossible to count on the USA Water Ski headquarters’ staff to do the majority of recruiting through renewal notices and numerous phone calls to current and former members, and to provide for the development of many new clubs. We can and will continue doing a lot, but we need you and the other principals within your discipline to step up.

The structure of USA Water Ski is designed in such a way that headquarters serves as a clearinghouse for many functions, such as membership solicitation and fulfillment, insurance acquisition and provision, maintaining your waterways usage and many more too numerous to list. As a principal of your discipline, it is your responsibility to strive toward growing your discipline through retaining current members and attracting new ones.

The intention of this call to action is to ask you to step up as you have never stepped up before and help this organization maintain its vibrancy and relevance in the water sports universe. If you don’t, USA Water Ski will succumb along with many other organizations due to lack of support in this unprecedented economically trying time in our sport’s history. We must all take up this fight together.
If something is worth preserving ... and your discipline certainly is ... it takes local effort. What is it they say? All politics is local. So is sport.


­­Jim Grew Steve Locke

what is the main cause of the steep drop in numbers? Is it something that USAWS has done wrong or is it all due to the downturn in the economy?

I think some of it has to do with a disconnect from the public. In my state, cold and miserable land, the 3 event tournaments are run by the same group of people that only let their buddies ski. The only opportunities out there for those not in their "good ol' boy" network to ski is to go to a neighboring state for events, join a show club or host their own events. Well I am not going to knock the show skiers, their is alot of talent in that discipline, but it does not quench my thirst. Heading over a state or two for events is fun, but spending dollas on gas is no fun at all. so last option, stop being one of the whiners on ski fly that offer no solutions and step up to the plate and host an event.

So the ODBF will do just that...


Huh...what was I saying?

Oh yea, i was bitching and not offering any solutions....hmmmm

Well I'll tell you what I will do, I will have my standard drink and get my lazy ass online and register tonight and then drink a jack on the rocks to celebrate my new found secondary insurance.

Or I could use that money to take an English class or a spelling class, but that would be lame. So instead I will whine that USAWS wont take my call to register over the phone, as the series of interconnected tubes are WAY to confusing.

I don't think my internet connects to USAWS's internet anyways.

Mar 24, 2009

Tyra Banks Can't Touch Karina

Oh, That Karina..She is SO Hawt Right Now!!!


Bring is Karina...I got your fierce!

That's our newest CRB Girl™ (up top with Mugatu) in her recent interview with CRB BFF Ball of Spray. The B.O.S has a great interview with the new "it" girl of the slalom world and honestly its quite interesting.

Its nice to see questions that either A. aren't totally mtv style, like, "omg, isn't that gay guy from Twilight like soooo hot?". or B. so technical that we fall asleep instantaneously, like, "so, when you rotate your hips through the third ball, and you fin is set at X position what do you...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...."

Sorry, fell asleep typing.

We have seen her in last months Waterski Magazine....and note to the editor of that mag...those pics? Yeah, they DO NOT do her justice, as well as all over the pages of the CRB, and other outposts on the tubes and unless you are not paying attention, kicking ass on the water and setting various CRB hearts a-flutter.

The Ball of Spray Interview is fun, soliciting quotes from the message boards as well as J.T.H's own. it's a neat read and props to both to getting it done. For some reason here is our favorite quote.
Horton: Soon after your world record performance at Diablo Shores, there was a tremendous buzz on the internet about your skiing. Have you read any of these analysis of your skiing? If so, what do you think?

Karina: Haha. I am absolutely flattered that people are really taking note. Especially of a girl skier! I like to keep my skiing simple. Sometimes, if you over analyze, it clouds!

*head explodes*

*white light shines*

Holy cow, its so clear now! Just ride the line!!!

Your words to gods ears Karina...your words. to gods ear.

One of the real cool things about the waterski world these days, despite the doom and gloom of the economy and the outlandish costs of boats, is that it really seem like our newest crop of top notch skiers, Karina, Dodd, Marcus, Etc seem like such genuine, fun, entertaining people.

Like, we would drink beer with them, talk shop and then watch them stomp all over our ass on the water.

Along with that, people like Tadd Schreiber and even Todd R. from Waterski Mag (which despite our poking fun, is really a hell of a read now. Plus, we have a subscribtion and we use the free gear bag that came with the subscription to carry around our dogs toys, leashs, food, etc...its nice!) are making the cool people within our sport more accessible.

Think of a sport like basketball that was killing itself after Jordan retired to replace the keystone, the face of the sport, for awhile, we don't think that specifically there was a person to pin it on.

There still isn't, but, there seems to be a culture change happening within the sport, a good one, where there is this central crew of people who are kicking ass and worth our time spent watching.

Thats our Jordan, a central type crew of people who live, breath the sport and don't come across as douchebags, they are people that as skiers and/or outside viewers can get behind (easy killer, its a family blog) and support.

For example, Marcus Browns Twitter, sure Twitter is kinda goofy, but, its a way to connect to the people that we watch on those videos and have a personality to connect with the cold stats we see on the .PDF'S from tournaments.

Side Note to every tournament organizer. PDF??? WTF???? Good god, I downloaded the results from Moomba on my windows 3.1 and then hit up my Sega Genesis for some NBA JAM.

Thankfully Toby twittered the hell out of Moomba.

For that matter a dude like Tadd, yes a crb friend, but, his work on the webcasts and side projects, i.e H20smosis, are kick ass.

Its a neat thing to see and hopefully its a great harbinger of things to come.

Ok, getting off soap box. Hey Karina?!?!?

/holds phone to ear

call me!


How about a tune as we wind this down?

/pours glass of wine

P.S - Hey, JTH, no crb love in the interview? c'mon I thought we were tight like that!!

So Thirsty

You just can't help but feel bad for these boats. Hung up like so many trout on a chain stringer waiting to be filleted.

Put those boats back in the water where they belong! Its catch and release!! You don't want these sweet boats to end up like the trout at the 3:49 mark of the Faith No More vid do you?

Mar 23, 2009

Site News: Changes a plenty pt. 2

Big Time! Update your bookmarks, get that tatoo changed, the CRB now has its actual own URL!

viva la revolucion!!!

Mar 20, 2009

Thats a Cool Trick

Click Image For Video (Via:

The above screen grab is from the WakePlace.Com which is a, get this, a wakeboard website! No way!

Raimi Merritt, above, is the first girl ever to complete an S-Bend. Which is a pretty sweet looking trick, not quite a whirlybird, or our favorite and patented move, the double spin/half flip/to face move that always gets the attention and admiration of no one.

Via both USA Waterski and The Wake Place comes the video and the "story" behind it, it goes as such...from TWP.
Raimi Merritt is the answer, and she did it today (Monday 16th March 2009). We headed out to Darin Shapiro’s place at Ride The Spot to shoot for the morning, and Raimi for sure got the Trick of the Year as far as the female side of the sport is concerned. She nailed it on her second try behind the boat out at Darins, and is a real cool example of how cable riding is making boat riders better. Raimi has been on the Sesitec System 2.0 for the last 2 months, and then took her Raily’s and S-Bends to OWC on the regular cable. It didn’t take too much effort from her to bring it to the boat and raise the bar for female wakeboarding. Congrats to Raimi!!!!

We will be bringing you more from Darin’s soon!
Ride the Spot? ok. I like it. it works. Besides, how can you make fun of a name of a lake when its some dudes personal lake? you cant. We would call the CRB lake the "Stomp Swamp" and fill it with algae and crocodiles and it would still be cool.

Oh yeah, an S-Bend is basically a Raley with a 360 mixed in. Not sure how the S part works, but, its sweet.

Finally, the green shorts? Answer? its works! Thats your good luck charm Raimi!

Mar 18, 2009

Time to bust out the Aqua plane

Thanks to Marcus Brown for sending this pic. This is just a classic, not nearly as cool as the tri hull with an 85 horse that I learned to ski behind... Wait, its way cooler...

H2O Extreme round 3

Looks like this movie will actually be released this year. From

H20 Extreme, a 94-minute water sports film featuring the riding of Tino
Santori and Ryan Jones, will be released this summer to limited theatres in
targeted water sports areas around the country.

Apperantly the parties in this movie make "Animal house's 'Delta house' looks like childs play". Well if that is true, it might be alot like the average day at the CRB world headquarters, Jack on the rocks, case after case of PBR, South Paw and Shiner...wait, if its at all like an average day at the CRB head quarters this is going to be the most boring movie ever. Just alot of past out guys and no ladies anywhere.

AH theres the Minion!

Fantasy Fishing Update: Afterglow from Table Rock Lake

The FLW Fantasy Fishing site is admittily confusing, its tough to figure out what is going on and what you should be doing probably due to the incredible amount of ancilarry riff-raff on their website.

However, once you dig in a little deeper and check it out...well, its still pretty difficult to figure out.

That may sound like we are making an excuse, the CRB is not, but I am...the Rowboat is making an excuse...I am in third place.

Not pleased.

Sure, the ODBF makes sense to be in first seeing as the name is Old Dirty Bass Fisherman, and with Kodiak in second place...well, yeah, that makes sense to I suppose, what with bears eating tasty salmons out of rivers and making chewing tobacco.

The Rowboat...well, I AM A BOAT!! I am on the water all the time, you would think I could track down a fish and catch with my trusty net!

Alas, its not to round in late April and I will be storming back to take the lead, I will go so far as to bet my new O'Brien Elite Experiance*

Here are the standings after the Table Rock Lake Event for the CRB League.

League Rank Name Team Lineup Points
1 Old Dirty Bass Fisherman Old Dirty's Team MARK PACK, GREG BOHANNAN, VIC VATALARO... [Expand]
2 cris kodiak ODBF is going down CLAY DYER, MARK ROSE, DAVID KROMM... [Expand]
3 Rowboat Abides Rowboat Abides DION HIBDON, CHIP HARRISON, BOBBY CURTIS... [Expand]
4 Eric Fieck Eric652's Team JACK WADE, JIM MOYNAGH, BRETT HITE... [Expand]
5 The Minion the2's Team TIM JOHNSON, MARK ROSE, ... [Expand]

Hope everyone has or had or continues to have a great St. Patricks Day!!

*I don't own that ski. I can email you a picture though

Mar 15, 2009

Classic Waterski Clips: Apocalypse Now

Sure, its cheesy, but, if you haven't seen this movie, Apocalypse Now, you have A. missed out on one of the seminal movies of all time. B. Are a fool. C. One of the weirder characters ever and D. one of the goofiest water ski scenes ever.

That Looks Like a Peaceful Lake

Current CRB Girl (which is way more important then any world record) was just uncovered in a youtube clip by the CRB staff (patent pending).

See for yourself.

Two more notes on a late saturday night.

1) Look at the most recent waterski magazine, look for the mastercraft ads, is Karina's hair way different lengths?

2) Are we the only ones where you tube cant run straight without stops and starts?

Mar 12, 2009



- Location: CRB HQ. Lazy Afternoon, staff is busy researching.
- There is some commotion coming from the parking lot.

**Door Flies Open**

/stomps feet in place

OldManFishing: Doooode, seriously, I thought you quit or were fired or something. Your like frickin Milton from Office Space, quit hanging around here and bothering us.

GAWD...Get Out!!

RowRowYourBoat: /sad face
but but....
/lower lip trembles...looks around furtively

CRBOFFICESTAFF: /whispering amongst themselves
/slacking off
/looking at porn
Who the hell is that person, should be call security?

RowRowYourBoat: Serious guys? You don't remember me?
/hangs head
/walks towards door with bundle of printed sheets in hand

RowRowYourBoat: /looks bad longingly

OldManFishing: OH MY GOD. FINE!! what do you want?

RowRowYourBoat: /Sniffle
Really? Really?
/Excitedly runs over to office with papers in hand
/drops capri sun

OldManFishing: What you got man. We are busy here finding sexy pictures of Danielle Lloyd and trying to update our CRB girls roster.

RowRowYourBoat: /Slams down paper

**Online Host**
Obligitory pop Culture Reference. Hooch is Crazy.

OldManFishing: /rubs hands together
/pours glass of vintage bourbon
We have achieved something greater then ever thought possible. We must share this with the people.

*Online Host*

Requests Direct Connection.

Something looks quite different here. Something we may have commented on before. In fact, I believe that we IMPLORED USA Waterski to make some changes.

I mean, my goodness, thats why it seems like you are 3-eventers and the old crowd!! YOU DEFINE WATERSKIING AS 3-EVENT SKIING!!!

It isn't!!!!! 3-Event skiing is just that, 3-event skiing. Its just one damn part of it, one discipline! Its not WATERSKIING!!

Gosh, whats that say for Show Skiers or Hyrdofoilers or whatever, what they do isn't waterskiing?

THERE!! Thats the problem!

So....lets do this, lets rename USA Waterski....




USA Watersports!!!


Wakeboarders, 3-Eventers, Show Skiers, Barefooters, Surfers, Tubers, Wake Surfers....We're all one big happy family!!

Mr. Locke!! Make this happen!! The power of the CRB Compels you!!!

Now, granted, the name of the entire organization wasn't changed to USA Watersports, but, you have to hook the donkey to the cart first before you can make your way into town.

Just to be clear, we don't think that our post way back in September that much of a bearing on the name change from "Waterskiing" to "3-Event Waterskiing", we are simply saying that THE POWER OF THE CRB COMPELLED IT!!

Look close!

Mr. Locke? Hopefully you made it this far. Here...

/hands Mr. Locke glass of vintage bourbon through the CRB portal

You earned it!

Mar 11, 2009

Now THAT is How You Make a Trailer!!

Another linky love to Ball of Spray, but, on the front page is a youtube clip of a new movie called "Gifted". Which we assume means our writing and formatting skills.

Not to bag on Slalom dudes or anyone for that matter, but, some of the other movies that we have seen clips for on the you (inner) tubes, we noticed a strong slalom presence/infatuation, and this one, looks to have more of a cross section of the three-event world, with all three events given equal love. Because equal love = MUCHO love!!

If you don't have three minutes or so of time, be sure to check out the 2:38 section of this clip, for no other reason than a shot of a camera dude standing, basically, on the ramp while some unnamed bad-ass hauls ass right at him/her.

It looks really freaking cool. By the way, one of the things that was being bandied around the CRB HQ today was how this sport, as opposed to many others, really lends itself to funky camera angles.

Cameras on the rope or in the water or overhead or on the person or in the boat or...well, there are a zillion places you can place a camera or video camera and catch really really neat views.

One of the hardest parts is to translate the passion the skier has into something that is tangible to people viewing it, be it in person or on TV or your computer.

Movies, or Clips like this one, really seem to be, either at the forefront or a trailblazer of sorts in breaking down that so-called fourth wall and letting people into the sport in a meaningful way. Our sport, be it Slalom, Wakeboard, Jump, Tubing, whatever, has so much to offer.

Look at the pro skiers, look at the people who are "really" good, the ones who actually can use the O'Brien Elite, or can utilize a new set of D3 jumpers, or, whatever, they really can translate to something that even those of us who DOMINATE a 15-off pass can appreciate!

Its really that good.

Officer Buck? FOUR THUMBS UP!

Wait!! You Tricked Us!!

Mr. Horton of the Ball of Spray site (which rules by the way) has occasionally posted the Alexa Scores of various waterski websites.

Now, normally you think when you get a high number you win right?

Well, super sexy commenter Jhughes mentioned that, actually, the higher your score the less "popular" you are.


So, listen here buster! You may think that websites like Overtons or Mastercraft or whatever rank higher then we do...but, suffice to say, the number next to our site is HUGE!!!

Whatever!! We jumped on the Twitter love early, early adopters if you will, and we expect that simply by tweeting stuff we will soon rule the entire world.

For the sake of democracy, however, here are a couple fun twitter feeds worth your time.

Tweet away peeps! Anyone else fun to follow? Dallas Friday has to have a twitter

Mar 9, 2009

H20 Extreme round 2

So I posted this vid over a year ago and did not hear much about it since then. I spoke with the producer/Director a few weekends ago and it sounds like that after a few rounds of edits that it will be coming out this summer.

Watch the new trailer here

This could be the Rad of 2009.

I love the 80s, there were some kick ass sports movies back then.

I mean who does not list "Ski Patrol" as one of their top ten movies of all time?

Wish it were that easy

Now I just need to find a wife...

Mar 5, 2009

Thanks Twitter!

One of the fun things about the waterski world is the wacko adoption of newer trends to promote the sport, or promote your interests, or get your foul mouthed website into more peoples hands.

The most recent generally big trend is Twitter, which is for the uninformed, basically a facebook status update where you follow other people and see what they are doing. Basically.

Anyways, via the Ball of Spray, twitter feed we came across this person, auskier, who is basically twittering the Moomba Masters! Yay technology!

Well, Ball of Spray does note that the weather could be an issue, chilly, windy, etc, but, more importantly, newest CRB Girl Karina Nowlan is currently in first place! WOOOOO.

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...