Apr 29, 2008

Here is my kid, Just Give me a Gallon of Gas. Part. 2

With gas prices continuing their steady climb north, we see you Canada, and of course with the summer driving months upcoming it appears that the average price is set to go from simple pain in ass to something much worse, like...sodomy?

No, there will no picture here of sodomy. You perv.

What really sucks about this issue is not the political garbage that people spew when it comes to this issue, nor the speculation that day traders and commodity brokers are fucking us all or that the big car companies are to slow to react and make fuel efficient cars, or the middle-east people are a bunch of bastards who won't share...waaah!!!!

No, well...maybe there is some truth to all of that, but, the simple fact is that for people who water ski and rely on that old bust ass technology to power their boats, or maybe not old bust-ass technology, but the old ideal that more displacement and more gas = more boner.

The problem for water skiers is that this shit is expensive and its really going to take a bite out of the people who may not be rich, be it a collegiate ski team, a show-ski team or the dude who owns a 1989 Mastercraft who just wants to occasionally take a day and play on the water.

Its going to be so cost-prohibitive that the simple idea of getting people together for a day on the lake will require you to go jerk-off a bunch of times at the clinic to get enough dollas for a tank of boat-gas, but, then you will be so tired that you won't want to anyways, plus, you will start smoking and thats a bad habit and you will die of cancer before you know it.

See!! Blood for oil! Damn the man!

So, what do we do? Well, the CRB personally can't do shit, because we don't have the resources, both in physical terms and intellectual property of fixing, designing or building the sort of fuel systems needed.

However, what we do have is a couple ideas and if someone out there can possibly do this, or wants to steal this idea and make a fuck-ton of money off it, by all means. Just, you know, let us know and give us a couple free motors or some stickers or a lollipop.

Anyways, the whole idea about this is to keep the actual physical cost of motor-boating as low as possible.

We broached the subject of hybrid-diesel boats in the first installment of this little series, but, with the weight that the battery packs would be and the complexity of trying to have regenerative "braking" in a boat, it would seem to be an impossibility.

However, we talked to someone at a bar the other night who runs propane as a sort of "nitrous" boost in their diesel pick-up truck. They went on and on how cool it was, do burnouts at 50 miles and hour and spew awesome clouds of black smoke everywhere like Spy Hunter.

What this does though, if you extrapolate both these ideas out to their logical and functional conclusions you/us/we/I may have stumbled on a really neat and efficient way to get the best of both worlds.

You see, if you think about you and your ski boat and your actual power needs, its pretty rare that you actually need all 350 horsepower or whatever at all times. You really only need that when you are pulling a skier or hauling ass across the lake to chase down that girl in the yellow bikini that was totally checking you out, but, in reality she just was shielding her eyes from the sun that was reflecting off your pasty-ass body.

Now, we are returning to our diesel idea, but in a slightly different way.

Using the idea that you don't need all that power all the time, and with the inherent efficiency of diesel engines, we propose this following scenario.

1) Small displacement, common rail injected diesel engine. Such as the common rail GM diesels that are in the Opel Astra's in Europe. I can't read that language, thats Italian, but, that link goes to the specs page, and I am just going to assume for the sake of argument, that its about 100 Horespower and about 200 lb/ft of torque. Cool?

2) Propane boost system such as this one which generally run about $1000 or so and add about 100-150 horsepower and associated torque increases.

3) Perfect Pass or equivalent system tied into the brains of the motor/throttle components.

What should, hypothetically, happen is that in normal cruising mode, when you are just driving around and hanging out and whatever, the motor would operate in normal 4-cylinder diesel mode, getting pretty decent fuel economy and saving you money.

When you need the extra power, in the following two scenarios this would happen.

1) Launch - when you are coming out of the water onto plane, i.e, pulling a skier up or just accelerating, the brains of the motor would sense within the throttle movement that a boost of propane would be needed for extra power. This would of course be metered our properly by the motors computer and would not rip out the arms of the poor sap trying to get up on his kneeboard.

2) Perfect Pass - or zero off or whatever system is in-place, when it senses that an increased power delivery is necessary, jumper cutting towards the ramp or slalomer crossing the wake, whatever, it would inject the right amount of propane to keep the boat at the right speed.

Thats it.

Pretty simple idea right?

Basically, you are running a small passenger car motor, a diesel, that is sourced in Opel's in Europe that are strong, run forever and get great fuel economy. We are simply hoping that this translates over to the water.

To make up for the power, or lack of power issue, we introduce the propane into the picture to provide that boost. It is actually good for the environment because it makes for a cleaner burn, its reduces soot and provides both more power and more efficiency.

Its a win-win! Is it to expensive or is it even practical? Anything is better then nothing. Given that there will always be a fight with the green segment of the population, the battles for the lake are going to be growing in the future. Its not practical to install cable parks everywhere, not is it feasible or prudent to drop that much money for such an impractical application as a ski boat.

There has to be a better solution, somewhere.

Apr 28, 2008

Gas is cheap

It seems that our gas prices are a little higher then my bank account likes. Just right click on the map to see the prices by county.

Gasbuddy Gas Prices provided by GasBuddy.com
Click here to add this map to your website.

It may be time for us to switch to wind power.

oh, ummm, maybe we should add a lake in there or something.


Apr 22, 2008

You Better Ask Somebody: Bio Deconstruct - Rodrigo Miranda

From the pages of the US Open of Waterskiing comes some great, lame, adjective bios on all the different skiers. The CRB bios must have been lost in tubes of the ebayz, so unfortunately you can't see ours. Pitty, our training regime is fucking EPIC!!

Anyways, here is Rodrigo Miranda's bio. Smart-ass comments, as always, in italics (because italics are fun)

Division: Open Men

Hometown: Santiago, Chile
Serious, at some point the in the CRB life we would like to meet someone or deal with someone NOT from Santiago, Chile.

Lake You Ski On: Miranda's Water Ski School
Well, thats certainly convenient.

Major Sponsors: Cecinas San Pablo, Gobierno de Chile, Miranda's Water ski school
Words, words, words....whatever that means.

Competition Highlights: 3rd overall junior and u21 world championship

Favorite/First Water Skiing Moment: Jumps personal records!!
No argument there. That is the best. In a related story, our first waterski memory involves two Turkish prostitutes and a broken down Supra.

Training Routine: 4 sets a day , some cardio after skiing, monday and tuesday gym
How does that compare to the Minions workout...chicken wings, masturbation and video games. Poorly I assume.

How Do You Get Ready for a Competition? Not skiing so much, just what you need
Thats an interesting way to get ready to ski, by not skiing. Guess those frozen saps in the north are going to fucking DOMINATE!!

How Did You Get into this Sport? n/n
This is where things get interesting...lots of n/n from here on out. So, we will just assume he meant that a traveling circus came through Chile and he got linked up with the hairy midget who was wicked on a trick ski.

Tell Us Something No One Knows About You: a lot of things
Open to interpretation here...one thing we know for sure about Rodrigo is that he HATES burritos. no idea why.

What Are You Reading? nothing
Technically that isn't correct, as you would have to be reading the question to properly form an answer, unless, he was thinking it was something different, like, how much action will the CRB get from the ladies this year.


What is your Favorite Movie? none
Jeepers, they don't have movie in the Chile? The Little Mermaid? Under Siege 2?

Greatest Quote You Have Ever Heard:
hm...that is always a tough question. Do you go deep and philosophical or shallow with a hint of whimsy? Going to have to assume that he loves this amazing quote from noted autoer Jenna Jamison,“I always look at both sides and totally understand their fears of the unknown, ... Whenever there is any type of adult stigma surrounding the fear, the worst is always assumed.”

What is Playing on your IPod? n/n
No ipod huh? hmmm...thats unfortunate. Not nearly as bad though as....

Favorite Pizza Toppings? n/n
WHAT? Please don't let it be true that you don't like pizza! That's un-American! oh...wait... Thats un-Chile-en. Just say pinnapple and ham and call it a day dude!

While not out on the Water, What do you Do? i'm in the boat! ride the bike and party with my friends in Chile!!
I am very intrigued by this answer. First, in the boat is a verb in this situation. In Chile there is only ONE bike and party.

Party = Good. So, all things being equal, he rides in a boat, trucks around on a bike and parties.

Who would you like to meet? Lance Armstrong
ahh, that explains the bike comment. he rides THE bike, as in Lance's bike. well played sir!

What kind of vehicle do you drive? n/n
Hm. Does not want to contribute to global warming? or something more sinister. You decide.

What is your dream vacation?
See, some peoples idea of a dream vacation IS to go to Chile. So, he is living the dream everyday. Screw you Americans!

What is your favorite material possession? n/n

What are you guilty of? n/n

What is the best advice you can give? n/n
Just going to lump these last three together, as its obvious that the instant messenger cut off or the carrier pigeon got tired of going back and forth or some shit. So, he probably didn't want to admit his favorite possession is his Britney Spears weeble-wobble, he is guilty of singing the song, "I'm to Sexy" by Right Said Fred and believing it and the best advice he can give is to quit reading this fucking post right now because we have run out of.............


Locke > Meatloaf > John Travolta

Read this weeks exec report at USA Waterski, its refreshing to see some playfulness from the head-man in charge. Makes us feel like...like...singing!!!

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." – George W. Bush, Feb. 21, 2001

USA Water Ski has passed a significant test. Earlier this year, independent auditor Waugh, Goodwin and Associates conducted a comprehensive audit of our organization. The Waugh group is very familiar with NGB audits as they conduct well over 20 NGB audits annually. Our audit was clean and the auditors were highly complimentary concerning the quality of work being performed by Bobbie Razor, USA Water Ski's accounting manager.

"They misunderestimated me." – George W. Bush, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

I don't know why I put that one in; just liked it I suppose. Have a nice weekend.
Read the goodness. BTW, that video is the best. and John Travolta butchered that movie.

update: replaced the video with this one with frickin subtitles. the previous vid posted was entire suck.

Apr 18, 2008

Rig of the Month: April 2008

Rykert mentioned in a comment that he has canceled his subscription to waterski magazine because they quit publishing "Rig of the Month". Well, that is a travesty. Its a mockery. Its a sham.

Yes, its a Travashamockery!!

So, welcome to the CRB "Rig of the Month" If you scour the interwebs and find a cool rig, or have one of your own, or your friends please send it to us, greenboathouse@gmail.com

Note: Rig of the month does not mean your junk.

This month we have a 1995 GMC Yukon SLT 4x4 and 1995 Ski Centurion. Nabbed from bobogee.com.

You Better Ask Somebody: Bio Deconstruct - Freddy Krueger

From the pages of the US Open of Waterskiing comes some great, lame, adjective bios on all the different skiers. The CRB bios must have been lost in tubes of the ebayz, so unfortunately you can't see ours. Pitty, our training regime is fucking EPIC!!

Anyways, here is the jump king stud boy Freddy Krueger's bio. Smart-ass comments, as always, in italics (because italics are fun)

So, click the thing and read all about Freddy!

Division: Open Men Jump

Hometown: Winter Garden, FL

Lake You Ski On: Lake Huckleberry

Major Sponsors: MasterCraft, Zero Off, D3 Skis, OJ Props, Body Glove, MasterLine
CRB (in our hearts)

Competition Highlights: 6 Time World Record Holder, 5 Time US Open Jump Champion, 6 Time Masters Champion
quit bogarting all the awards dude.

Favorite/First Water Skiing Moment: Breaking my first world record at the 1999 US Open
The best part is that isn't even cocky, how awesome would it be to be able to say that?

Training Routine: Until its right
vs. until its wrong, which is what we strive for

How Do You Get Ready for a Competition? Train, Rest, and Focus on the task at hand
Yikes, that is deep...

How Did You Get into this Sport? My family were all skiers and I never had more fun than being at the lake with friends and family
so true

Tell Us Something No One Knows About You: I'm really 6'3
and blood related to Willie Nelson, True Story!!

What Are You Reading? Besides your website? Nelson Demille.

What is your Favorite Movie? Batman Begins, Bourne Supremecy, Music and Lyrics....I enjoy all kinds

Greatest Quote You Have Ever Heard: When you mow the grass the snakes will show.
whoa...sexual innuendo all over the place!!

What is Playing on your IPod? Godsmack, Audioslave, Crash test Dummies, Metallica, 6 Pince none the Richer
err....6 pence? gonna have to assume that was a joke

Favorite Pizza Toppings? Loaded minus the stinky fish!
Hey! Its just like the women the ODBF dates!! minus the loaded part as well.

While not out on the Water, What do you Do? Try to work on my house or on our land in NC. I need a hobby!
Write for the CRB!!

Who would you like to meet? God....I have some questions. Tommy Lee Jones, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Freddy: God, its Fre
Freddy: Freddy.
Freddy: I got some questions. Like, why do the shite muslims have such deep seeded hatred towards the Sunni?
God: you serious?
Freddy: hahah, just bullshittin...yo, where is the lake up here?

What kind of vehicle do you drive? 95 Jeep Cherokee, Karen gets the Suburban
yo, a 95 Cherokee? The best jumper our sport has currently, and maybe ever, drives a 95 Cherokee? HEY CHEVY!! You sponsor the shit out of stuff don't you? Hook our boy up with a new Tahoe or something!!

What is your dream vacation? I think I'd really enjoy going scuba diving on some Caribbean Island.

What is your favorite material possession? Probably my Winter Garden house. It's an escape from all that drains.
The drains? Jesus man, don't live in a sink!

What are you guilty of? I love movies. I can't start watching one and turn it off. If it starts...i'm going to finish it.
Just like sex. not that we would know...:(

What is the best advice you can give? Don't ever throw your ski equipment....you'll need it the next day!
ahh shit, a typo...damnit....
/chucks computer




white noise

Hey, Waterski Magazine...Maybe You Should Diversify

Below is a cut and paste of all the videos available on the waterski magazines website.

Note: Added a "Jump" to this post because its stupid long, if the formating is stupid, well, blame the internet.

Edged in Water 2
Tige Factory Tour
Ski Perspective
Headzone Gear
Skiing the Course the First Time with Matt Rini
Open-Water Drills with Wade Cox
Ski to the Next Line Length with Wade Cox
Fool Proof Deep-Water Starts with Jason Seels
How to Shadow Buoys with Chris Parrish
Perfect Deepwater Start with Will Asher
Skiing Rhythm with Will Asher
Ski Setup with Kyle Eade
HO Monza
Carving Your Offside Turn with Chris Parrish
Crossing the Wakes with Jason Seels
Connelly F1
One-Handed Gate with Thomas Degasperi
Counter Rotation with Marcus Brown
Body Alignment with Will Asher
Goode 9800
O'Brien Sixam
Balanced Stance with Matt Rini
How to Eliminate Slack Line with Will Asher
Malibu Response LXi - Fantasy Camp
MasterCraft ProStar 197 - Fantasy Camp
Correct Craft Ski Nautique 196 - Fantasy Camp
Beauchesne Sets Pending World Record
Nick Parsons' Crash
Correct Craft Ski Nautique 196 - Shootout
Malibu Response LXi - Shootout
MasterCraft ProStar 197 - Shootout
Pro Swerve
Open Men's Slalom
Fantasy Camp ProAm
Team Challenge
38 Off Spin It to Win It
Masters Highlights
Our Gotta-See Tournament
O'Brien Sixam
The Right Grip
HO Monza
Give Your Back a Break
The Perfect Stance
Marcus Brown's One-Handed Gate
Connelly F1
Jamie Beauchesne Analyzes the Turn
Goode 9700
Big Dawg
Swerve With Me
Edged in Water
Fire on Water
Slalom Evolution
The Playboy
Chris Parrish's World Record Run
Freddy's Masters World Record Leap
Staring Down the Course
Smooth Beauchesne
Rolex 24 Hours of Daytona

By my count:
Slalom Video: 46
Barefoot Video: 1
Boats: 6
Random: 2 give or take 1 or 2

Jesus guys, don't be afraid to branch out a bit. I mean, slalom is cool and all but, you know, there is other stuff to do on the water other then go back and forth on obscenly expensive pieces of carbon-fiber.

Well, thankfully, its all a big tease. Because anytime you click a link you get this.


Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...