First time I watched this I thought "hahaha, take that you stuck up rich guy", then I started thinking about it. What happens when I win the lottery and got gigantic piles of cash...now that I have made fun of this guy does that mean I cant waste a few hundred k on a mega fast car that likes to light on fire after a few thousand miles? So yes I feel bad for this guy, especially since it looks like F-150 guy just turned out of the gas station and drove up on that Italian art work. I hate dip shits that don't look when pulling out of gas stations.
So in conclusion I still hate everyone.
Jan 31, 2011
Vid Day Monday
Not the highest quality vid, but its the CRB so what do you expect. JD Wiswall looks death in the face and says "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD PLEASE DONT KILL ME", then gets his feet back under him. And then falls...Pussy.
Vid Day Monday - MOAR FOOTBALLZ
As this is the week before the Super Bowl we will stick with the FOOTBALLZ theme. After that last vid showed just how big of a joke the Pro Bowl is, here is a vid to remind you of how bad ass normal football is. And also to rub it in Rykerts face that the Saints are incapable of tackling. This could have been a pop warner kid and they would have missed him.
Vid Day Monday
I watched the pro bowl last night. And yes, that does tell you how much of a loser I am. Doing the dishes would have been ten times as much fun.
This play shows you how completely useless the pro bowl is.
This play shows you how completely useless the pro bowl is.
Jan 26, 2011
Lake Trout Carry Out
Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.
A new wakeboard park, seems these things are going up all over the place, this one is in Dallas. Apparently right by a high school.
Here is irrefutable proof that when waterskiers break their legs they turn to a life of drugs and crime. Waterskiing is the devils work.
"High powered bidders such as Barbados and Croatia" lost out to Sarawak in Malaysia for a IWSF world cup stop next year. High power and Croatia...errrrr
Rihanna is reported to have gone "waterskiing in her bikini". Of course this would be from a Hollywood website that like the rest of the Hollywood news organizations out there is run by complete fucking idiots. The only pics of her are on a jet ski and on the beach...which unless you are a dipshit Hollywood reporter you would know that jet skis are not water skis, but who am I to talk, I don't know anything about how to get a blurry pic of some B list celebrities boobs from behind a tree 300 yards away.
Banana George Blair turns 96 on Saturday. Nothing funny to say here...yep, I've got nothing.
"The five best handles to get the most out of your wake surfing experience", are you kidding me??? WTF is this nonsense, if you need a special handle to wake surf you deserve to be beaten and left for dead in a ditch. If you are douche enough to read an article like this and think "oh yea that handle would really help me look better while wake surfing" then you need to stop reading, ball your hand into a fist, and punch your self in the balls...hard.
So that article we posted a week or so ago about how the Aussies were bad ass enough to not have to postpone the Southern 80 ski race due to the flooding was wrong...they have been forced to cancel it. Not going to joke around here as the flooding has killed 20 or so people and destroyed 10s of thousands of houses, so not really a joking matter.
A new wakeboard park, seems these things are going up all over the place, this one is in Dallas. Apparently right by a high school.
Here is irrefutable proof that when waterskiers break their legs they turn to a life of drugs and crime. Waterskiing is the devils work.
"High powered bidders such as Barbados and Croatia" lost out to Sarawak in Malaysia for a IWSF world cup stop next year. High power and Croatia...errrrr
Rihanna is reported to have gone "waterskiing in her bikini". Of course this would be from a Hollywood website that like the rest of the Hollywood news organizations out there is run by complete fucking idiots. The only pics of her are on a jet ski and on the beach...which unless you are a dipshit Hollywood reporter you would know that jet skis are not water skis, but who am I to talk, I don't know anything about how to get a blurry pic of some B list celebrities boobs from behind a tree 300 yards away.
Banana George Blair turns 96 on Saturday. Nothing funny to say here...yep, I've got nothing.
"The five best handles to get the most out of your wake surfing experience", are you kidding me??? WTF is this nonsense, if you need a special handle to wake surf you deserve to be beaten and left for dead in a ditch. If you are douche enough to read an article like this and think "oh yea that handle would really help me look better while wake surfing" then you need to stop reading, ball your hand into a fist, and punch your self in the balls...hard.
So that article we posted a week or so ago about how the Aussies were bad ass enough to not have to postpone the Southern 80 ski race due to the flooding was wrong...they have been forced to cancel it. Not going to joke around here as the flooding has killed 20 or so people and destroyed 10s of thousands of houses, so not really a joking matter.
Jan 25, 2011
Just Give Me a Gallon of Gas
About two years ago The Rowboat Abides (or maybe it was dig dug, I'm to lazy to look) wrote about the crazy cost of gas and then talked about the future of electric engines. ODBF argued with him that it would not work.
***
Circa summer 2008 CRB chat room transcript
Rowboat Abides: I heart Neil Young and farms and Neil says that electric engines are the future of the world.
ODBF: Farms...?? errr... whatevs. They wont have the power to pull skiers at the speeds we need to go.
Rowboat Abides: oh ye of little faith. Neil Young can not lie, that is why he told his dad when he chopped down the cherry tree. So if Neil says cars with electric engines will be able to do it then they will.
Rowboat Abides: /has heart pains
ODBF: Look at the prius, it needs a gas engine just to go up hills. You think Chris Parrish wont stop an electric boat in its tracks in the course? Or big dog jumpers wont slow it down and get bad times.
Rowboat Abides: /shooting pains in arm
ODBF: WE ARE AMERICANS WE BURN GAS LIKE PATRIOTS
Rowboat Abides: FACK YOU! WE WILL ALL USE ELECTRICS!!!
Rowboat Abides: /shooting pains in arm
ODBF: WE ARE AMERICANS WE BURN GAS LIKE PATRIOTS
Rowboat Abides: FACK YOU! WE WILL ALL USE ELECTRICS!!!
Rowboat Abides: /heart attack //falls out of rocking chair
ODBF: Ha ha, you could use an electric heart.
***
So needless to say the folowing video is good news for Rowboat Abides. To bad his heart attack has left him a bitter drooling old man on a rocking chair yelling at kids and racoons to stay off his lawn.
Jan 24, 2011
Cuz Footballs Iz Slippery
ODBF is a football gambling god! And why is that you ask? I went to vegas with the intent of placing bets on the Packers and the Cubs both going all the way. Well I placed my bet on the cubs to make the world series, and then forgot to place bet for Packers going all the way... Which means ODBF = F'ing Moron.
Our pick for the super bowl
by 28-24 over
Our pick for the super bowl
by 28-24 over
Jan 22, 2011
CRB Brings the Sexy - Movie Edition
No time for words. Lets get to it. Lets enjoy the gifts that god has bestowed upon us.
Amber Heard. Who is this person and what has she done? *checks imdb* holy lord, she has been in Friday Night Lights, Californication, Zombieland and will be in The Rum Diary?? Jesus how is it we have just heard/realized who she was. Time for a remedy. Here she is in her new movie with Nic Cage (his hair is bird, your argument is invalid), the movie is called..."Drive Angry"...bet this will be good.
Next up we have Friday Night Lights alum Minka Kelly.
Not sure when she made this movie, it must have been before we got married recently, but, holy lord this girl could re-start the sun should it ever die out. She is hot. and so is the sun. so....
This girl is Ashley Greene.
Ashley is dating a Jonas brother, which is fantastic. Nothing against the Jonas brothers, life is to short to hate, but, if someone as incredibly beautiful as Ms. Greene can date someone like that...well, that means their is hope for us all. Men and Women alike. Her only real claim to fame is the Twilight movies, and, we can poke fun all day long at the stupidity that goes along with that series, but, if nothing else, they gave us Ashley, and for that, you can be a sparkly abstinate vampire.
And to wrap it up, we have Geek hot Olivia Munn choking a chicken. Because its an innuendo. get it?
Next up we have Friday Night Lights alum Minka Kelly.
Not sure when she made this movie, it must have been before we got married recently, but, holy lord this girl could re-start the sun should it ever die out. She is hot. and so is the sun. so....
This girl is Ashley Greene.
Ashley is dating a Jonas brother, which is fantastic. Nothing against the Jonas brothers, life is to short to hate, but, if someone as incredibly beautiful as Ms. Greene can date someone like that...well, that means their is hope for us all. Men and Women alike. Her only real claim to fame is the Twilight movies, and, we can poke fun all day long at the stupidity that goes along with that series, but, if nothing else, they gave us Ashley, and for that, you can be a sparkly abstinate vampire.
And to wrap it up, we have Geek hot Olivia Munn choking a chicken. Because its an innuendo. get it?
Jan 21, 2011
Ski Racing is Still F'ing Crazy
We have said this before but will say it again "SKI RACING IS FOR THE CRAZIES". OK so we have never actually said it that way but its true. Going that fast on unpredictable water behind a souped up race boat with a bunch of other souped up race boats driven by gear heads is FREAKING AWESOME. Wait...I think I got side tracked there...I mean its crazy. CRAZY AWESOME M8!!!
Get it M8 cuz they ski racing is big in Australia...
***Crickets***
So stories like this of a 15 year old injuring their spine in a ski racing crash are not really surprising. This is a sport where killing the nerves in your arm and losing use of it happen enough that the condition, called "dead arm", is talked about when discussing the sports greats.
But then again maybe us over here in the States are just a bunch of pussies who can't handle the speed. Which is quite possible as our country is full of whiny sissies that sue when they trip and fall in a fountain because they were texting and people don't come and help them quick enough.
On the topic of ski racing there were worries that the Southern 80 ski race might be canceled because of the terrible flooding that is happening in Australia. And who could blame them for calling it off. Shits a mess and waterski sites have not been immune from the damaging waters.
Is this the midwest a few years back?
Jan 17, 2011
Vid Day Monday
With gas prices shooting back up this could be the future of waterskiing. Cable skiing has grown quickly in Europe but seems to be being ignored in the US. The US is letting wakeboarding take the initiative and grow cable skiing here. This is a big mistake, as the gas prices go up more and more people will not be able to afford the gas prices and we will continue to see erosion of our numbers in favor of wakeboarding.
Jan 16, 2011
Jokes via SkiFlies
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
She sleepily replied,
"Can you believe my stupid husband is out skiing in that stuff?"
There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
She sleepily replied,
"Can you believe my stupid husband is out skiing in that stuff?"
Jan 15, 2011
CRB Brings the Sexy
This looks like its an add for insurance. Insurance is not sexy...implied lesbianism on the other hand...is sexy.
Jan 13, 2011
The Dude Abides - The Rowboat Story
The founder of this multi billion dollar website retired a few years back and spends his days sitting on a rocking chair on the front porch aiming a shotgun at anyone who walks to close to his yard. We figure he may have gotten off his chair and gone inside long enough to watch the show from the clip below on PBS last night. The Rowboat's good friend, The Dude, was the focus of PBS's show American Masters last night.
It might have been helpful if we had put this up before the show aired but seriously, do we look like the TV Guide?
It might have been helpful if we had put this up before the show aired but seriously, do we look like the TV Guide?
Jan 12, 2011
I am Calvin's Hobbes
Via Gorilla Mask is this brilliant mash-up of Fight Club and Calvin and Hobbes. This is one of those ideas, like the upside down ranch dressing bottle, that its suprising that no one has done this before. Both the movie and the comic use an imaginary friend as a device to delve into other issues and also make you laugh / beat up strangers.
For those of you that like Calvin and Hobbes as much as we do we recommend reading about it and the creator, Bill Watterson, on the wikis.
Further, do you think that anyone could get away with a quote like this now days?
Calvin: Dad, were there dinosaurs when you were a kid?So good. And look! A picture of Calvin and Hobbes flying off a dock into the water. See? It is about waterskiing in the end!
Dad: Oh, sure, your grandfather and I used to put on our leopard skins and hunt brontosaurus for all the clan rituals.
Jan 11, 2011
CRB Winter Project - Building a new Dock
Note the wifi access and the hammocks |
Under the tenants of the National Landmark status we have to go through various hoops and get approval in order to make any changes to our site, i.e, when we need to repair our three-story 6-slip boathouse, we have to go to our congress person and make sure that what we are doing is kosher.
This past skiing season we began to notice that our solid oak / carbon ski dock was begining to show the effects of our rigorous training schedule. The 20-30 daily sets over the course of all these years were beginning to make our high-tech dock (which is complete with wifi and full size bar), and we determined that it was time to do a bit of refurbishing.
After we filled out the necessary paperwork, submitted everything for proper approval, we were finally granted out wish to spruce up our dock. With that in mind, we put together our list of materials needed, sourced out our required labor force, and put together a schedule of events.
Soon, the day was near and we had to go out and pick up the required materials neccesary to finish the job. First stop was a special lumber yard for the properly aged oak lumber needed. After loading that into the special CRB pick-up, we headed off to pick up the tools.
As V.I.P types in our community, we were greeted at the door by a special personal shoppper assistant and lead to a room where we could imbibe in wines and cheeses along with a flock of employees whose sole purpose was to make this experience as painless as possible.
As you can tell by our picture, the ladies where quite amused at our witty sense of humor! Sure, it may have been all a rouse to make us feel better, but, we felt like after a glass or two of their best Cab Sauv we felt like Richard Pryor in his prime, minus the crack.
This continued on for awhile, as you can tell in the picture, the red-head just wasn't having our jokes. Normally they work like a swiss watch, but, turns out she was more of a digital.
Never the less, we pressed on and inquired of our personal shopper of our choosing (the blond who actually laughed at our jokes) to procure our required equipment. In this case, a big ass husqavarna saw.
"Oh, but, those are only for the most deft of craftsman, are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable with a tool more suited to the common man??" we were asked innocently enough.
"NO! How dare you question our skills. If the plaques in our office mean anything, is that we are incredible with our hands and require only the finest of tools to complete this task....make haste with the hotness!"
With that, she wisked out of the room as if on wheels and powered by the touch of a 1000 angels. What wonders might she produce, we pondered sipping on a snifter of the finest scotch and low and behold, she produced the most impressive of saw.
"Perfect!" we exclaimed. That is the type of finely tuned instrument that we need and the government requires in order to properly conquer said task.
Not only will that be able to properly angel and chop our load of wood, it will also have great secondary uses that we are not privy to divulge.
We returned to consult our master schedule planner that we have on our Apple iPad 3 (its slated for arrival in your local AT&T store in 2016), and noted that given our various time constraints, we would need an additional saw in order to meet said demands.
"No problem" we were assured as our personal shopper exited once again.
We figured this would be the perfect time to regal the remaining ladies with our breath taking stories of our trips through eastern Asia as part of the risky sheep hunter/saver expidition that was put together by the mid-state/tri-state coalition.
Its sole purpose would be to save as many sheep as possible from the evil clutchs of the evil masterminds behind the wool sweater network that perpatrates the globe.
At the time of our journey, we were under the impression that sheep were killed for their fur and we would do everything we could to save those furry creatures from the barbaric deaths we assumed happened. After saving well over 50 sheep and only losing 4 member of our party to death by bow and arrow, we were informed that no, they are just shaved for their fur and made into sweaters. Itchy sweaters at that.
Boy was there egg on our face!!!
Never the less, it was a great experience. Ever see the Dos Equis TV commercial with the most interesting man in the world were he has a sheep in his hand and is running from the cops? Yeah, he was in our party. Like a fool he insisted on a harem of women and always wearing a suit.
After a short while our personal shopper returned with out required merchandise.
Thats right, now, just load those up into the truck ladies! We were now fully equiped with two of the finest saws in all the land and will be able to, once complete, be able to compete for the world wide best dock competition. After a decade of so of dominance we saw our title go to some people in the Abu Dabui. No more of that! Time for that title to come back home! These colors do not run! USA USA.
It was quite a successful day and we were all pleased with how everything unfolded. As we polished off the remaining meats and cheeses, cocktails and cheez-its, we were once again reminded that despite Nola's best efforts, the spoils of our success will never be tainted!
However, we did need something to remember the day by. Now, it did take us awhile but we finally were able to win over everyone with our humor and story telling prowess and asked for one final picture with our hostesses to prove our witty banter didn't fall on deaf ears.
Thank you ladies! You made our experience one for the ages. Our dock was completed right on schedule and is the envy of the entire neighborhood. You probably cant see in the before picture above, but, there is now a hot tub that comes out of the main section so we can sooth our sore muscles after a day of tubing and wake surfing and...oh, haha, the rest of that story is saved for the hot tub.
There was something familier about our personal shopper, something that is stuck in the back of our mind to this day, we just can't put our finger on why. Maybe someday the truth will come out, until then, it is up to Mulder and Scully we guess.
Jan 10, 2011
Vid Day Monday
The only real shocker this football filled weekend would be the Seahawks going from shitting the bead all season to playing like an actual football team and knocking off Rykert's Saints. My guess is that by know Rykert has burned down his own house and is on a flight to Seattle to burn down their stadium as well.
Vid Day Monday - GhostBRAAAHHHMMMMMers
Yes, yes, 1000 times yes.
One thing that always sort of irked us about Ghostbusters is, why is it that just when they figure out how to detect ghost creatures is when they show up? Isn't that a bit of a coincidence?
Actually, more to the point...Dan Ackroyd has done, what, two good movies in his life? This one and Blues Brothers? Bro, your coasting. You did a pretty good bit in Gross Pointe Blank, but, your supposed to be one of the stars of the 80's SNL. You don't see Bill Murray slumming now days do you? No, Murray is out there getting drunk and crashing peoples parties and playing practical jokes.
You need to go google search how he would walk up behind strangers in N.Y, cover their eyes and say, "guess who", they would look and he would say, "no one is going to believe you" and walk off.
Thats a celeb. Thats how its done. So, hey, Danny boy. Clean it up bud, your better then this.
Vid Day Monday - Rock Out V2
We have become absolutely hooked on this band. This is the way in which you make a video now days. Memo to all other bands, singers, whatever...there are three things you need to make a bad add video.
- A bitchin tune
- Attractive humans
- DINOSAUR!
Vid Day Monday - ROCK OUT
I want this guy as a pet. He and my crazy ass dog would be great together. They could eat fish and run all over the place then shit in the hallway together, maybe chew up another couch for good measure. It would be awesome.
Vid Day Monday
This guys voice is awesome. From now on anytime I hear a voice over on a commercial I will picture the guy that washed my windows on the offramp when I told him not to.
****ED NOTE****
I set this up to post when there were about 500 views of the video. Now it seems that every person in the world has seen it 7 times. WTF is up with that? GD Today Show.
****ED NOTE 2****
Well, now that this guy has completely blown up. Lets look at this from a different angle. How cool would it be if he was the voice-over guy for all waterski related videos? You have the normal announcer guys doing tournaments and whatever, but, when they edit them up and have promo things, hobo announcer man comes parachuting into your youtubes and drops this golden voice on you? Oh yeah, you smell what we are cooking.
****SENIOR ED NOTE 3****
Dangit ODBF, this is the internet. You posted a video for a Monday from almost a week ago?? Your off your game! OFF YOUR GAME!
****ED NOTE 4****
GD vid does not work so here it is in another vid that is actually working right now. grrr
****ED NOTE****
I set this up to post when there were about 500 views of the video. Now it seems that every person in the world has seen it 7 times. WTF is up with that? GD Today Show.
****ED NOTE 2****
Well, now that this guy has completely blown up. Lets look at this from a different angle. How cool would it be if he was the voice-over guy for all waterski related videos? You have the normal announcer guys doing tournaments and whatever, but, when they edit them up and have promo things, hobo announcer man comes parachuting into your youtubes and drops this golden voice on you? Oh yeah, you smell what we are cooking.
****SENIOR ED NOTE 3****
Dangit ODBF, this is the internet. You posted a video for a Monday from almost a week ago?? Your off your game! OFF YOUR GAME!
****ED NOTE 4****
GD vid does not work so here it is in another vid that is actually working right now. grrr
Jan 9, 2011
Lake Trout Carry Out - Sunday Weird
Its the first weekend of the playoffs, by our calculations (we are writing this Friday evening) the Saints have decapitated the Seahawks and the Jets beat the Colts...sure, why the hell not.
Well, today gives us the Packers at the Eagles and Baltimore at KC. Predictions, Cheeseheads and The Wire win today. Why you ask? Because we are the CRB.
Regardless of if we are right or wrong, which is dumb because we have Bif's book from Back to the Future 2 and are never wrong. Cubs win the world series this year, beating the Red Sawx in 6, Kerry Wood the winning pitcher, Jenks the losing pitcher and Vlad Guererro hits the winning homer for the Cubs. Vlad you say? Yeah, the Cubs trade for him in the middle of the year in a highly controversial trade involving Koskue Fukudome and Carlos Zambrano. WRITE IT DOWN! Take this to Vegas.
While we are at it, other amazing events this year? Obama? Still president. Ford Motor Company? Buys Microsoft. Apple Computers? Buys Facebook. General Motors? Allows a majority of its board members to be UAW people, out of business by end of 2011. 15 year old girls have drama. Joe Perry of Aerosmith kills Stephen Tyler in a graphic public brutal scene...a fitting end to Tylers total demolition of what Aerosmith was. ODBF gets drunk.
Want more? Ok, lets go to chapter two.
Amtrack develops a train that runs on public outrage. Its huge with PETA and the Parents Television Council. The train cars in Wyoming just rust because no one cares. The American public finally wakes up and realizes that we are in a recession because we are spending thousands of dollars a year on televisions and video games.
Gas prices reach 4.50 a gallon, people blame Obama, keep buying pick-ups. Oprah brainwashes people into believing she is god. Wal-Mart goes out of business because people begin to value education and self-reliance...HAHAHA, just kidding. That doesn't happen.
What? Oh sure, We would love another beer.
brb.
Sorry, we got a bit carried away. The Pro Ski Tour begins its ascent into the public concious, overtaking Hockey for the nations #6 most popular sport, after, Football, Baseball, Basketball, MMA and College Football. iTunes says fuck it, charges 10 bucks per song. Kesha buys the Yankees. Derek Jeter sees the writting on the wall, divorces Minka Kelly and marries Kesha. Minka Kelly finds solace in my arms, we get married.......and from there..well? nothing else really matters.
/retreats to lakeside cottage
/makes fire in fireplace
/pours glass of wine for Minka
/makes babies
Here are a bunch of completely random links that are only tangentially related to waterskiing.
/checks open tabs in firefox
Ha, nope...not related at all.
So, its 2011. Have you celebrated that yet? We hope so. The Mastercraft dealer in our town, we think, has gone out of business because there are no longer any boats at their location, nor are their any vehicles that the employees would use to get to work and the gates are locked. We aren't the crispiest crayons in the happy meal, but, all signs would point to that place no longer being in business.
With that in mind, here is your task for Monday. Wake up early, spin over to your local watering hole, have a few bloody mary's, chow on some breakfast, have a few beers and nut up and go to whatever your nearest ski boat dealer is located, whip out your debit card and buy one.
Do it for your county. Do it for your mom. We do your mom, so you should do something for her too.
Its the American way.
Well, today gives us the Packers at the Eagles and Baltimore at KC. Predictions, Cheeseheads and The Wire win today. Why you ask? Because we are the CRB.
Regardless of if we are right or wrong, which is dumb because we have Bif's book from Back to the Future 2 and are never wrong. Cubs win the world series this year, beating the Red Sawx in 6, Kerry Wood the winning pitcher, Jenks the losing pitcher and Vlad Guererro hits the winning homer for the Cubs. Vlad you say? Yeah, the Cubs trade for him in the middle of the year in a highly controversial trade involving Koskue Fukudome and Carlos Zambrano. WRITE IT DOWN! Take this to Vegas.
While we are at it, other amazing events this year? Obama? Still president. Ford Motor Company? Buys Microsoft. Apple Computers? Buys Facebook. General Motors? Allows a majority of its board members to be UAW people, out of business by end of 2011. 15 year old girls have drama. Joe Perry of Aerosmith kills Stephen Tyler in a graphic public brutal scene...a fitting end to Tylers total demolition of what Aerosmith was. ODBF gets drunk.
Want more? Ok, lets go to chapter two.
Amtrack develops a train that runs on public outrage. Its huge with PETA and the Parents Television Council. The train cars in Wyoming just rust because no one cares. The American public finally wakes up and realizes that we are in a recession because we are spending thousands of dollars a year on televisions and video games.
Gas prices reach 4.50 a gallon, people blame Obama, keep buying pick-ups. Oprah brainwashes people into believing she is god. Wal-Mart goes out of business because people begin to value education and self-reliance...HAHAHA, just kidding. That doesn't happen.
What? Oh sure, We would love another beer.
brb.
Sorry, we got a bit carried away. The Pro Ski Tour begins its ascent into the public concious, overtaking Hockey for the nations #6 most popular sport, after, Football, Baseball, Basketball, MMA and College Football. iTunes says fuck it, charges 10 bucks per song. Kesha buys the Yankees. Derek Jeter sees the writting on the wall, divorces Minka Kelly and marries Kesha. Minka Kelly finds solace in my arms, we get married.......and from there..well? nothing else really matters.
/retreats to lakeside cottage
/makes fire in fireplace
/pours glass of wine for Minka
/makes babies
Here are a bunch of completely random links that are only tangentially related to waterskiing.
/checks open tabs in firefox
Ha, nope...not related at all.
- Why do zippers say YKK on them...other then the obvious (TIFO)
- Kesha when she was in high school. (izismile)
- Este chico, como todo “buen samaritano”, se ofrece amablemente para ayudar a la nena a subir la roca, y “ni corto ni perezoso” aprovecha un poquito la ocasión. (dogguie)
- The origins of UPS. Spoiler Alert: Someone had a big brown truck and got drunk. (TIFO)
- Scientific evidence that Jessica Alba is stunningly beautiful. (Amazing Data)
- What it would look like if your neighborhood was positioned right at the end of the world...or something like that. Cool pictures though. (intraday fun)
- An absurdly bad list of the years worst movies. Jonah Hex? Inception? My hair is bird, your argument is invalid. (Funtuna)
- A Chinese girl gets plastic surgery, goes from meh to yay. Proving the age old truth that if you can't be what you want, pay someone to do it for you. Information for life (Funtuna)
- Offensive pictures of a Barbie. As if Barbie isn't offensive as it is. *feigns moral outrage* (nuffy)
- The ten hottest tennis players. Another spoiler alert: one of them no longer plays tennis. Can you guess who? You guessed it, Andre Agassi. PS. #6 is the best (top lists)
- Very cool sight were you can morph two peoples pictures together and see what they look like. The Twilight chick and Hillary Duff mixed together looks really good. (Morph)
So, its 2011. Have you celebrated that yet? We hope so. The Mastercraft dealer in our town, we think, has gone out of business because there are no longer any boats at their location, nor are their any vehicles that the employees would use to get to work and the gates are locked. We aren't the crispiest crayons in the happy meal, but, all signs would point to that place no longer being in business.
With that in mind, here is your task for Monday. Wake up early, spin over to your local watering hole, have a few bloody mary's, chow on some breakfast, have a few beers and nut up and go to whatever your nearest ski boat dealer is located, whip out your debit card and buy one.
Do it for your county. Do it for your mom. We do your mom, so you should do something for her too.
Its the American way.
Jan 8, 2011
CRB Brings the Sexy - Tasty Water Style 2
I don't know what changed in the world that made it all of the sudden acceptable to show naked women with a thin coat of paint on them on TV and in magazines, but if it ever changes back I might go on a killing spree.
What does body paint have to do with Sobe Life Water? Shut up and watch the damn hotness.
What does body paint have to do with Sobe Life Water? Shut up and watch the damn hotness.
Jan 7, 2011
Jan 5, 2011
Malibu Open 2011
The Malibu Open will be in Milwaukee WI again this upcoming summer and they are teaming up with some sweet planes and apparently some photoshop artists.
This is actually really good news for the Malibu Open. Air shows like this get very large crowds and this should help the already very successful Malibu Open get even bigger. I have heard through the grapevine that the Milwaukee County Parks system is bringing in bleacher seating this year to allow for upwards of 30,000 people on site. Hella cool! Plus this is one of the few tournaments that sells beer on site, so that is why the CRB shows up...cuz we be loving us some beerz. And the bad ass planes.
This is actually really good news for the Malibu Open. Air shows like this get very large crowds and this should help the already very successful Malibu Open get even bigger. I have heard through the grapevine that the Milwaukee County Parks system is bringing in bleacher seating this year to allow for upwards of 30,000 people on site. Hella cool! Plus this is one of the few tournaments that sells beer on site, so that is why the CRB shows up...cuz we be loving us some beerz. And the bad ass planes.
What would you do with 300 some million?
So, we were kicking this around today at the office. What would you do if you won the Mega Million lottery?
Its a fun and stupid question at the same time. You know damn well you aren't going to win, but, at the same time...whoa...what if??
You would feel like one of those rapper dudes who drinks kristal for breakfast and throws 100's out of the window of their cars because they can.
We asked around the office for what they would do and with predictable results, here were a few answers.
ODBF: "probably do some blow and bang a tranny" "really" "pssh, i dont know. get a beer? I am working on the damn spread sheet you asked for, would you leave me alone?"
Good lord, its like pulling teeth sometime, yo...just asking for a quick humourous thought on if you had no financial obligations...not a baton death march.
Minion: "A refill of my damn methadone prescription"
Oh, how clever...a drug reference.
Life Jacket: "A college chick" "thats it???" "yeah..pretty much...or a dude...I am not picky"
Get it? because LJ hasn't had sex. Boosh
Whatever. Here is a serious question. If you won the millions of dollars would you actually buy a ton of shit and flaunt it or would you have any sort of guilt regret?
Here is the thought. If you were a rapper dude (referenced above) and you got a few million bucks to make a record or whatever, you earned that money...so the shit you buy, or blow your money one, you have earned, you can do whatever you want with it and should feel completely fine about it.
You want to get a Bentley, paint it matte black, drop some 24's on it and roll around like a dick head? Good for you, because that is money that you earned. Right or wrong and however it was acheived, that money is yours.
If you are a Joe Francis, Vivid type and make a lot of money in the porn world, exploiting people to make money on boobs and blow jobs, well...you are simply exploiting a market opportunity. That money is yours, you have earned it.
Morality plays aside, that is money earned. No?
Oh sure, "oh these girls have daddy issues or didn't know what they were doing or were drunk" sure, fine, thats all relevant...but, there were bigger d-bags out there who scooped that up for a little J-session and paid money for it.
Regardless of how we think, morally, of how money is accumulated, as long as its done within reasonable bounds of the law, it is achieved...earned. Right?
Now, that brings us to the idea of the lottery.
That is "technically" money earned, as you purchased a ticket, i.e, you put in to get out. But, if you saw the CRB rolling around in a Ferarri pick-up truck towing a Scarab while sprinkling cocaine like rose petals in front...well, your a weirdo.
You didn't earn this money, you just lucked into a bunch of cash and you really should not get a big head, buy a bunch of crap and act a fool because of it. Its luck. Why does no one give a shit about the Kardashians (except morons)? Because they didn't do shit. They had a rich dad and they exploit the publics weird obsession with celebs, thats akin to winning the lottery. You didn't do anything, but, now you have alot of money.
Hopefully, however, most of us would have the self awareness to know that and not act as if we are important.
So? Cool story bro. We would buy a new boat, a cool truck, a private lake and tell everyone else to piss off...we are going skiing.
Its a fun and stupid question at the same time. You know damn well you aren't going to win, but, at the same time...whoa...what if??
You would feel like one of those rapper dudes who drinks kristal for breakfast and throws 100's out of the window of their cars because they can.
We asked around the office for what they would do and with predictable results, here were a few answers.
ODBF: "probably do some blow and bang a tranny" "really" "pssh, i dont know. get a beer? I am working on the damn spread sheet you asked for, would you leave me alone?"
Good lord, its like pulling teeth sometime, yo...just asking for a quick humourous thought on if you had no financial obligations...not a baton death march.
Minion: "A refill of my damn methadone prescription"
Oh, how clever...a drug reference.
Life Jacket: "A college chick" "thats it???" "yeah..pretty much...or a dude...I am not picky"
Get it? because LJ hasn't had sex. Boosh
Whatever. Here is a serious question. If you won the millions of dollars would you actually buy a ton of shit and flaunt it or would you have any sort of guilt regret?
Here is the thought. If you were a rapper dude (referenced above) and you got a few million bucks to make a record or whatever, you earned that money...so the shit you buy, or blow your money one, you have earned, you can do whatever you want with it and should feel completely fine about it.
You want to get a Bentley, paint it matte black, drop some 24's on it and roll around like a dick head? Good for you, because that is money that you earned. Right or wrong and however it was acheived, that money is yours.
If you are a Joe Francis, Vivid type and make a lot of money in the porn world, exploiting people to make money on boobs and blow jobs, well...you are simply exploiting a market opportunity. That money is yours, you have earned it.
Morality plays aside, that is money earned. No?
Oh sure, "oh these girls have daddy issues or didn't know what they were doing or were drunk" sure, fine, thats all relevant...but, there were bigger d-bags out there who scooped that up for a little J-session and paid money for it.
Regardless of how we think, morally, of how money is accumulated, as long as its done within reasonable bounds of the law, it is achieved...earned. Right?
Now, that brings us to the idea of the lottery.
That is "technically" money earned, as you purchased a ticket, i.e, you put in to get out. But, if you saw the CRB rolling around in a Ferarri pick-up truck towing a Scarab while sprinkling cocaine like rose petals in front...well, your a weirdo.
You didn't earn this money, you just lucked into a bunch of cash and you really should not get a big head, buy a bunch of crap and act a fool because of it. Its luck. Why does no one give a shit about the Kardashians (except morons)? Because they didn't do shit. They had a rich dad and they exploit the publics weird obsession with celebs, thats akin to winning the lottery. You didn't do anything, but, now you have alot of money.
Hopefully, however, most of us would have the self awareness to know that and not act as if we are important.
So? Cool story bro. We would buy a new boat, a cool truck, a private lake and tell everyone else to piss off...we are going skiing.
Jan 4, 2011
Damnit Mega Millions
Really? Not even one damn number correct? Hey, mega millions, its going to be hard to get ourselves a new skinasterbu without a little kick on our financial coffers. Piss off with your nonsense. We will do it ourselves.
Morning Lake Trout
The holidays kinda put us off our game. So here is some random links that don't require any real work on our part. The trained monkeys are all still a bit hungover and half the staff here is still wearing glittery hats that say "2011" on them, and Rowboat Abides has a hat that says "Happy New Year 1972" on it.
Apperantly people in some states have open water on new years day and so they go skiing. Even with the snow in the back ground I still hate them.
These people went skiing as well. Read the comments, they are a great example of how incredably stupid our society is. If you ever read comments on Youtube videos you will know what I mean.
Xavier University basketball coach Chris Mack likes to ski... and play basketball and other stuff... Like mess up his back skiing.
Slalom Ski Mag likes to put up ads and call them articles.
IWSF chose Regina Jacquess as the 2010 female athlete of the year. Girl has hella skills, solid choice.
On the same theme of ads as news for Waterski Mag there is this "news" about Natalia Berdnikava setting 2 world records behind the Nautique 200...or wait...is it 3 records behind the 200 like Bill Yergan says? Oh fact checking for "news" is so boring!
Apperantly people in some states have open water on new years day and so they go skiing. Even with the snow in the back ground I still hate them.
These people went skiing as well. Read the comments, they are a great example of how incredably stupid our society is. If you ever read comments on Youtube videos you will know what I mean.
Xavier University basketball coach Chris Mack likes to ski... and play basketball and other stuff... Like mess up his back skiing.
Slalom Ski Mag likes to put up ads and call them articles.
IWSF chose Regina Jacquess as the 2010 female athlete of the year. Girl has hella skills, solid choice.
On the same theme of ads as news for Waterski Mag there is this "news" about Natalia Berdnikava setting 2 world records behind the Nautique 200...or wait...is it 3 records behind the 200 like Bill Yergan says? Oh fact checking for "news" is so boring!
Jan 3, 2011
Vid Day Monday - NSFW
In no way is this video appropriate for work. There, that is your NSFW warning, really there is only very limited boobage. We are posting this vid now to make up for missing the last two Saturdays worth of CRB Brings the Sexy.
This is a video from the Argentine version of Dancing With the Stars. If the American version of the show were like this I would watch it on repeat 24/7. They could play this show during the super bowl and I would watch it.
SILVINA ESCUDERO STRIPDANCE 25-10-2010
Uploaded by betocammpos. - See the latest featured music videos.
This is a video from the Argentine version of Dancing With the Stars. If the American version of the show were like this I would watch it on repeat 24/7. They could play this show during the super bowl and I would watch it.
SILVINA ESCUDERO STRIPDANCE 25-10-2010
Uploaded by betocammpos. - See the latest featured music videos.
Vid Day Monday
The holidays are over and we here at the CRB are hung over and should probably take out the recycling. But we wont, that is what women are for*.
*have no girl friends or wifes.
We have been very lazy and did very little actually research this past week so here is an old vid that Tony Lightfoot posted, good old school stuff from a 2001 tournament at Stephen F Austin in Houston.
*have no girl friends or wifes.
We have been very lazy and did very little actually research this past week so here is an old vid that Tony Lightfoot posted, good old school stuff from a 2001 tournament at Stephen F Austin in Houston.
Jan 1, 2011
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