Nov 30, 2006

Holy Christ

Scarlett letter my ass.

We are MORONS! Damn comment moderation. Clicked some button and there are like a billion comments left that were supposed to be moderated and we screwed it up. So for everyone who commented on anything in the past and it didn't show up, we say sorry. We are stupid. They are there now. Much love, even the costume basket was here and we missed it.

Its fixed now.

/hiding head in shame


*Note - its unclear if it should be on or off. Guessing off. That way things should just show up, right?*

Pop Quiz Hotshot

Of note, someone went back to our June or July archives and commented on our post with Regina and Mandy and pointed out that I made a mistake with one of the pictures.

So Mr. Smarty Jones we tracked this video down in the youtube. Who is this?

Nov 25, 2006

Pack the bags!

I'm Sailing!! I'm SAILING!

So, here is the deal. We need some money here at the CRB. Not much, just a little change out of your pocket...maybe...ten grand a person should probably cover our needs.

You see, we came across this little skiing oasis project in the Charlotte Observer and decide its time to get our move on. Whats the haps? Well, in the lovely community of Charlotte, North Carolina someone wiser then us is building a waterski community, called Mirror Lake, and its time for you freeloaders to pay up!!

Just kidding. If you are reading this you already rule and are living in the top 1% of all the world.

BUT, a guy named Bob MacLeod is building a 3 million dollar gated waterski community somewhere on the outskirts of Charlotte.
"With 29 lots on 2 or more acres each, and only 10 of them available on the lake, home sites are scarce. And they don't come cheap, ranging from a little more than $100,000 to $350,000."

Our main man is a developer and tried this idea earlier in some communist county in North Carolina and was re-buffed by a bunch of inbred-redneck know nothing goons. Undeterred he gave a big Vick finger to that ignorant bunch and went off to greener pastures, and better lakes, in Catawba county.

Not pleased with your fucking pansy ass attitude

Thankfully the Catawba county crew is much more refined and interested in something other then a Deliverance rock opera and a Skynard tribute band at "The Pigs Balls" tavern.

Whatever that means.

But, here is how the deal goes down.

"To maintain placid conditions, only lakefront homeowners will be allowed to use the water for skiing. But MacLeod and Lee believe that just as golf course communities attract nongolfers, Mirror Lake will appeal to buyers simply looking for luxury homes on large lots.

The development will have about 30 acres of common open space, and all residents will be able to use the lake for recreation such as canoeing, paddleboating and fishing."

Thats the ticket boys and girls. None of those morons riding around in circles in Bayliners screwing things up or bleeding heart morons worrying about noise or fish or whatever the hell else people complain about in regards to water skiing.

Dammit!! This is America, and water skiing is done in America!!

And the CRB crew is all about that. Lord knows is hard enough to take a set at normal human hours and not be bombarded by those rogue boat rollers from Skip and his bass boat or David the Junior Vice-President of B.S at Powers Booth Inc taking out a client in his freaking "Suck My Wake" 4-Winns!!

Yo, John Candy is ON the Hook!!

The revolution will not be television people, as nothing relating to waterskiing really is, but we can make a change from a grassroots level. Waterskiing is a sport of the people, for the people and by the people...with money...and boats...and dispposable income...but DAMNIT, this needs to happen!!

Pony up the dough and purchase a lot, build your dream house. The CRB crew will be by in the evening with a bottle of wine and a basket of goodies to welcome you to the neighborhood. We will be the house just down the street near the 500 foot ball, the house with a 67 GTO in the driveway and a beer fridge on the dock.


*Side note, I goggled the phrase "the great outdoors movie" to try and find a picture of the boat used in the movie with poor results. PORN!! What the hell? More pictures of dudes and chicks in compromising positions then you can shake stick at!! Amazing. Try it, but its not safe for work.*

**Side note 2, if you look at the time stamp it says it was posted on Saturday, well, someone, who we won't mention, forgot to hit the publish button and instead hit the save as draft button. Which is good because it was crap on saturday.**

Waterski lake (Charlotte Observer)

Nov 21, 2006

At least god is watching

Bros before Ho's

We have been waiting for what seems like forever for a video or at least SOME visual evidence of Freddy Kruegers 243 foot jump two weeks ago at some tournament no one has ever heard of.

One would think that people would be all over this, websites, sponsors, waterski organizations, slalom magazines, Someone!!

We get updates immediately if some kid hits a 1080 on a wakeboard and for gods sake there is a freaking magazine dedicated to wake skating!

But, one of the immortal waterskiiers of our generation and for that matter in the history of the sport is basically relegated to some sort of back page shit, right next to this weeks odds of beer league softball and an off-season transaction report for the XFL.

The hell?

It took two weeks for Mastercraft, his sponsor, to even acknowledge that fact on their website and basically all it said was how freaking great some motor was.
"In the winner’s circle with Freddy was his MasterCraft ProStar 197, nicknamed “The Nightmare”. Krueger trained with this boat all year and was confident “The Nightmare” was key to breaking the world record. “When I met with the guys at MasterCraft, the goal was simple,” says Krueger. “We wanted a boat that could pull the new world record. We looked at a few options but ultimately we decided to take a production boat and test some up-and-coming technology that can now be found in the 2007 ProStar line, like the LY6 engine, new tranny ratio and prop setup. The result was a great jump boat for me and a better ProStar for our owners.”
Hopefully they don't mass produce that boat, because Lenny your fat neighbor will probaly bust out a 175 on a single wake! Off the Chain!!

Its really frustrating, you want to get some knowledge and see whats up in our sport and with the best jumper around and you end up calling this guy:

Yo! Ease off the rogaine!!

Of course you could hit up and catch the awesome rules nazis!!

But thats no fun, so we leave you with another great post from the best poster on that board, along with supercharged and various others, here is our boy Camillo.
Fred is the best jumper in the world.
He has been for quite a while.
Sincere congratulations to him and his training/support group.

You can admire him or you can make an ass out of yourself letting jealousy and envy bring out the worst in you.

The troops at McCormicks let every jumper pick what boat they wanted to jump behind. Fred picked his boat.

Rhoni picked her boat, etc.

The point of a tournament is to have ultimate conditions so we can truly see the potential of every skier. Mc Cormick's went one step further and allowed jumpers to pick their boat of choice. You should have been there.
Sweet tourney.
Camilo Espinel
PS: He went sooooooo high it was nuts

You can't always get what you wan, but if you try sometimes, you just might get what you need.

News (

Nov 14, 2006

Peter North was not impressed.

My balestra resulted in an unfortunate corps-a-corps

Because we are as childish as you can possibly be, AND because Russel Gay is saddled with a last name that screams for some kind of joke we bring you this from Maybe the editor of that site should pick their words a bit more carefully next time.
"5th November 2006 McCormicks

It looks like Freddy Kreuger has saved it to the very end to set the longest distance ever with a reported 74.1m (243 feet) at McCormick's. Full details when it is confirmed. If approved this distance will be a new World Record.

30th October 2006 McCormicks

Alough not confirmed, reports show that Freddy Krueger went 70.7m (232ft) and Russel Gay just beat off Alikasei for the best score of the weekend with 11 590 points"
What the hell kind of competition is this?!?! and what sort of point system is that!!??

Planet Waterski (

Nov 12, 2006

Hope College to the Rescue?

This is so depressing

Take a gander at this recent post on the webstite:
"In spite of several requests, no team has agreed to step up and bid to host the 2007 NCWSA Nationals. Anyone who's participated lately, knows how big an undertaking this really is. Two years ago, the board extended the bidding cycle to 2 years to make sure the host had ample time to properly prepare and raise sponsorships. We are now under one year and we'll be down to 9 months after the winter board meeting.

Once again, if any team is interested in hosting the 2007 event, please contact Phil Chase or your Regional Chairman immediately.

Bids on the 2008 Nationals and All-Stars are due by the NCWSA Board meeting, on January 26th."
Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock....

Its not fair!! There was time now!

I can think of two solutions to this potential problem.

1) Hope College comes to the rescue!! With the obvious and undeniable destruction of the collegiate waterski season next year from the Hope College Wrecking Crew, its only right that they step up and host the 2007 Nationals at the amazing Hope College Waterski Multi-plex.

If you haven't seen it yet, I suggest you get moving and take a peek. Its a dynamic site with plasma televisions and 3 seperate lakes all enclosed in a huge golf dome that allows for year round skiing as well as a state of the art training room, locker rooms, work out facility and full bar.

I heard the Holland, Michigan government spent upwards of 20 million dollars and donated 3 new playstation3's to the site.

2) Remember the fiasco over the World University Championship? That site in Plover, WI (easy to find, look for a lake by the highway next to to a strip mall and a corn field) that was supposed to host last years Worlds?

Well, they screwed the sheep right through the fence and couldn't install the Cabella's and/or waterski magazine course in time. So, they did the right thing. Work harder and get everything ready in time? NO...they just pulled a France and quit.

What better way to make it up to the Waterski world then step up and host the 2007 Nationals?

The way I see it, they owe it to the Collegiate waterski world to host this puppy, just take a look at the proposed site, if it is indeed complete.


2007 Nationals in Jeoprady? (

Nov 11, 2006

Then I just kind of sit on my butt

I can totally fix that little lady

As promised the folks at Alliance posted the video interview with Dallas about her injury and subsequent recovery.

Its interesting to watch, and she sheds some serious light on the "water in the lungs" aspect. Turns out it wasn't water at all, but some sort of fat cell issue that screwed things up.
"(I) went into surgery, thinking I was waking up in two hours. Then I had what was called a fat embolysm, which is, I guess, fat cells that go through your bone...err, not your bone, but your blood and clogs up your lungs, and thats when my lung collapsed and I was in some type of coma for 8 days"
Wow. I hate it when that happens. So, some crap went from her leg into her lungs and made it collapse right? Is that the gist of that?

But, here at the rowboat, we seek to delve deeper into the story then most. Lets get our learn on.

What is a Fat Embolism? Taken from
Two theories about the syndrome exist. First, the mechanical theory states that large fat droplets are released into the venous system. These droplets are deposited in the pulmonary capillary beds and travel through arteriovenous shunts to the brain. Microvascular lodging of droplets produces local ischemia and inflammation, with concomitant release of inflammatory mediators, platelet aggregation, and vasoactive amines. Second, the biochemical theory states that hormonal changes caused by trauma and/or sepsis induce systemic release of free fatty acids as chylomicrons. Acute-phase reactants, such as C-reactive proteins, cause chylomicrons to coalesce and create the physiologic reactions described above. The biochemical theory helps explain nontraumatic forms of fat embolism syndrome.
Right, that makes perfect sense, eh?

No it doesn't at all, so we turn to the wiki man for some help. From Wikipedia:
"A fat embolism is a type of embolism that is often (but not always) caused by physical trauma."

I guess thats what it looks like, so says this website.

A more detailed case can be found here, or maybe less detailed, but taken from the website, which is some sort of medical teaching website, explains the case of a 21-year old who got in a car crash, broke his leg and had this problem. So, it turns out that this is all on the up and up, so to speak. The following is copied straight from their site.
Clinical History: This is a 21 year old male s/p motor vehicle accident with multiple longbone fractures and sudden onset of shortness of breath of unexplained etiology.

Findings: Plain film of the chest demonstrates widespread interstitial prominence suggesting interstitial edema.

Diagnosis: Fat embolism.

Discussion: Fat embolism is an often unrecognized sequella of any condition or event that disrupts the marrow. The most common cause is traumatic fragmentation of bone marrow with its subsequent entry into the venous system.

The clinical manifestations of pulmonary embolus include both pulmonary and nonpulmonary findings. The pulmonary symptoms usually appear one to two days after the initial injury and generally include dyspnea, cough, hemoptysis, and pleural pain. Central nervous system and skin and manifestations may or may not occur concomitantly. The patient may develop confusion, stupor, delirium, and coma. In addition a skin rash (petechiae) often develops (characteristically on the patient’s chest).

The radiologic appearance is consistent with that of adult respiratory distress syndrome, including widespread airspace consolidation with a predominant peripheral distribution. In addition, the lung bases are often involved to a greater extent than with other causes of pulmonary edema.

OK, so, we got that covered, its an embolism caused by physical trauma. I would guess a snapped femur and nine spiral fractures and torn ligaments would qualify as trauma. However, lets look deeper and figure out what the hell an embolism is, also from the Wikipedia:

In medicine, an embolism occurs when an object (the embolus, plural emboli) migrates from one part of the body (through circulation) and cause(s) a blockage (occlusion) of a blood vessel in another part of the body.

This can be contrasted with a "thrombus" which is the formation of a clot within a blood vessel, rather than being carried from elsewhere.

Blood clots form the most common embolic material by far: other possible embolic materials include fat globules (a fat embolism), air bubbles (an air embolism), septic emboli (containing pus and bacteria), or amniotic fluid.

Emboli often have more serious consequences when they occur in the so-called "end-circulation": areas of the body that have no redundant blood supply, such as the brain, heart, and lungs.

Yep, just like we thought. Some fat cells migrated their way into her lungs, clogged up the works and shut it down. Yikes. Of course, our main man Rykert is in the medical field so perhaps he could shed some light on this as well.

Hmm, someone needs to learn how to drive. That truck does NOT go there.

Dallas Video: (Alliance Wakeboard)
Fat Embolism: (Wiki)
Case One Hundred Thirty Four - Fat Embolism (

Nov 9, 2006

They build them strong in Texas

I am bent in an awkward position

Because as you may have figured, the CRB crew is a bit of a honk for the stylings of one Dallas Friday. Here is a quick link from the people over at Alliance Wake.

Looks as though they will have a video of their interview with her soon. it out or something.

Dallas (Alliance Wake)

Nov 6, 2006

Called out and responded

Krueger Sets Pending World Jumping Record

U.S. water ski athlete Freddy Krueger set a pending Men's world jumping record of 243 feet (74.2 meters) on Sunday at the McCormick Record No. 5 tournament in Seffner, Fla. If approved by the International Water Ski Federation's Technical Committee, the distance will eclipse Krueger's current world record of 240 feet (73.0 meters), which was set in October 2005.

That is on the front of We totally called them out yesterday and look, they came correct. Standing up like men and reporting the facts. Just like us.


Waterski Magazine? Still cowering in a corner. Afraid of the Rowboats vengeance.

Frontpage Freddy (

Nov 5, 2006

Nightmare on some lake...somewhere...I guess

We posted this awhile ago and most likely you all have seen it, but in the wake of Freddy breaking his own record of 240 with a 243 its time to take another look.

As this is being written there is no mention of this in any of the places you would hope to see some dap given. no. Waterski Magazine? no. Planetwaterski? no. no.

Where else can you look for info like this?

Unknown. WTF?

It doesn't help that when you google his name you get 900 pages of the other Freddy.

Of course, its not the most prudent thing in the world to take some random message board comment as gospel, especially considering the ass-backwards way in which it seems waterski stuff seems to happen, you would think that someone..ANYONE...involved in more then a cursory way would jump all over this.

Please, if anyone comes across anything regarding this, video, picture, article, please post the link in the comments section. Someone out there should be promoting this sport, beyond the sick fascination of Waterski Mag with slalom. Which really doesn't promote the sport as much as hawk their advertisers product and that damn Edged in Water video.

Skifly (

Nov 2, 2006

I killed a drifter to get an erection

"NO, I will leave you IN!!"

Its just to damn easy.
"Ahh, San Diego. Founded in the late 1800s by the Germans, its name means, a 2006 NCWSA Division 2 Title."
San Diego, as far as the CRB crew is concerned is forever shamed with the whale vagina reference from Anchorman. There is no getting around it anymore. Its stuck in my head the same way that Kelly Clarkson or the Batman theme get lodged in their and won't release their death grip on the collective minds of the many minions that float in our boat.

Not that there isn't like a million other things about San Diego that are awesome. Surfing, girls, the Chargers cool light blue uniforms and of course the awesome weather.

I eat steroids like you for breakfas....shit....LOL!!

Add to that list above the San Diego State water ski tribe. Get it, the Aztecs, an Indian tribe?

But maybe its just me, but take a look at the top placing schools from division 2 and something seems amiss does it not?
San Diego State
Marquette Warriors
Cal State
University of Kansas
Cal Poly
Michigan Wolverines
University of North Carolina
Louisiana Tech

24 hours of eating burritos and playing Halo thats some shit right there.

Evidently the boys and girls in the megalopolis's of Milwaukee were tired of the "Team Midwest" crew having all the fun and decided to pull a B&E and get in on that.

So the crew stormed the proceedings and nabbed the number 2 spot leaving Cal State to settle for the best team that got beat by a team that hasn't been around for more then 5 years or so.

Aren't these the same guys who were so hard up for a ski boat that they tied off some ropes to a barge and cruised the mighty Lake Michigan behind a ferry?

Shit, word spread of this unexpected upheaval and even the most insane person in all of the association had to raise up of his non-existent couch and give out a bit of love.

Marquette? Tru Warriors Indeed!

Thats right playa. Don't give me that Golden Eagle crap anyways. And while we are at it, in the world that we are living in where a fucking collegiate nick name is somehow all of a sudden a hot-topic (yo I see you lemming style mall shoppers) the CRB crew says fuck that.

Fighting Sioux?

Thats nothing. So what?

I got more of a problem with the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim via LA. Shit, I got a problem with the freaking Houston Texans, while were at it I got a problem with the freaking LA Lakers and the New Orlean Saints and the Atlanta Thrashers and the Minnesota Wild.

Those SUCK...and the Utah Jazz?

New Orleans Jazz, just switch, be the Utah Saints. You are freaking Mormon or some shit anyways aren't you?

Ride or Die

Oh, sorry, its a racist nickname or it carries racist connotations. Oh, do tell oh speaker of the light infused truth cocktail.

You want to know whats racist in the CRB crew's handbook that we hand out to all the pledges?

His name is Robert Paulson, His name is Robert Paulson, His name is Robert Paulson!!


One love

Yo, someone I know STRONGLY DISAGREES.

I do not concur with your assessment that honky can't fly

From gods mouth to your ear pilgrim.

Division 2 standings.

Mens Waterski Mag:
1 Brian Kinney Chico
2 Ricky Krulicki Chico
3 Christian Scharosch Kansas

Note: I have decided to never call slalom by that name ever again. Quite simply, its taken on a life of its own in Waterski Magazine. Plus, the same three dudes won all the awards which makes coming up with something funny after each rundown REALLY hard.

Mens Shortboard:
1 Brian Kinney Chico
2 Christian Scharosch Kansas
3 Ricky Krulicki Chico

For real, what gives? Did no one else ski? Its the same three people. This is like going to a singles bar and their are three hot girls there and like 400 guys. You never even stand a chance. Of course in this case, the three hot girls are Brian, Christian and Ricky, which coincidently sounds like a Poison cover band from the late ninety's.

Damn, that one on the left is HOT!


Mens Jump:
1 Brian Kinney Chico
2 Chris Carr Kansas
3 Christian Scharosch Kansas

Blah, blah, blah same three guys aga....wait! YES. Chris Carr comes correct bitches. YO RICKY, where you at now!!

oh, there you are in fifth place. What? Why aren't you in the top three here huh? Are you not good enough at jumping?

But for real, how good are these three guys, there are nine spots available on the CRB leaderboard and these guys took eight of them. Well played.

And Chris...much love.

Womens Waterski Mag:
1 Hanna Edeback UNC
2 Erin O'Neil Georgia State or something
3 Amy Bing Kansas

An important note here from these girls. If you look at the official record or whatever it is from, it lists the majority of people's Majors. Hanna is in medicine, Erin is Marketing and Amy is in fashion design.

Thats a pretty strong three-some company going on there. Hanna can fix you when you get broken. Amy will design the new waterski apparel and wetsuits and what-not while Erin takes the reigns and markets that shit.

Bam. I said it here first, these three will take down O'Neil and Phat Farm by themselves.

Womens Shortboard:
1 Julie Jahnke Tru Warrior
2 Lindsey Ward Michigan
3 Amy Bing Kansas

Our first spotting of the Ron Artest sponsored Marquette Tru Warriors.

Yo, a little butter, maybe some sour cream and I got your hook up dog.

Julie Jahnke, pronounced how?, took first place honors in the short board/trick ski/freaking difficult division. She scored a 1510 to earn this place. While its no Clementine performance, it is good enough to capture the D2 title. I heard from a small Idaho Potato that she was going to throw a tantrum to whirlybird combo but the line wasn't that no-stretch shit.

Womens Jump:
1t Amy Bing Kansas
1t Marcy Holtz Tru Warrior
3 Julie Jahnke Tru Warrior

There is our girl Amy on top. Those Jayhawks must be some mighty fierce creatures to fight off two Tru Warriors.

OH SNAP!! No she didn't, thats right!! Tru-Warriors don't sleep, they don't eat and they better not catch you creeping. And, they DAMN sure won't let you take home the Jump title.

Notice, you didn't see any Aztecs here in the top spots. Hey, still water runs deep. and wide. and they take that shit by storm. No one person carrying the torch and a bunch of losers and hangers on picking up the pieces like a Bill Wennington riding on Jordan's coattails from back in the day.

or is that Luc Longley?

Nope, thats a true team win and thats how its done boys and girls. Congrats to San Diego, Marquette, Cal Poly as well as the D1 teams that we did already.

Also, to all the other teams and people and whatever that made the trek this year.

The CRB crew invites each and everyone of you in the collegiate world to open your CRB approved cooler and enjoy about 10 beers on us. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that you have already done that.

Well, have another. Well played everyone.

Scoresheet (

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...