Jan 31, 2017

Our Life

This is how it starts, this is how they get you.  You are just a youngster, not a care in the world.  Just out there on the water with your parents enjoying yourself. You don't know where this may lead.

Yay! This is fun

WEEEE!!!

Check it out dad!  Im doing it all by myself!!

life is here to ruin you.  eat it.
Are you sure kiddo?

Are you really fucking sure that you are "enjoying" this?

Because if you are, then we are going to have to have a conversation in the near future about what constitutes enjoyment and what constitutes a contractual agreement with the law about what you can enjoy about this sport and what this sport requires out of you.


um, yes, i am like...4 years old.  Things are supposed to be fun.  Not filled with contractual obligations you weirdo.  I mean, look at me!  My parents love each other.  I am learning to ski, i get to play all the time.  Make sand castles, i have a healthy image of what a family dynamic is supposed to be...its great!


oh.  I am going to mess you up kid.

You don't realize the road you are traveling down.  Its dark...and full of peril.

or dragons.

or, you know, whatever, expense reports.  Screw you, you little bastard.  You are going to regret having an open heart to the possibilities of the world.


Thats really weird mister!  But, I respect you and understand that you have a different outlook on life then I do.  Because I am only 4 years old and I see fun in everything I do.

WEEE..oh, i fell down.

OK!  I will try again.


Never fall.

***a few years later***


Dad!  Look at me!  I am doing this all by myself!  WOO HOO!!

I even got outside the wake the other time I did this but google lake view didn't have a boat in the area at the time.  This is so fun!!

I am so glad that we are all together all the time having fun on the lake!

Kinda weird I havent aged in those few years, but, just wait till I am in high school, there will be a growth spurt or something and I will be dunking on fools.


You are a fool.  You don't realize what you have entered your self into...a life of desire, of fun, of sacrifice on the alter of me.

Your master.

I rule you now.  Your life will be consumed from here until enternity of nothing but waterskiing.

HAHAHA

You think this if fun?  This will become a weight around your shoulders that will cause you extraordinary pain and suffering, will cause you to question your relationships with others, will cause you to wonder if the decisions that you make in your life are dictated by your own free will or by the life jacket that you have hanging in your garage.

What is that?  Do you hear the voices again?

The small whispers in the night, the voice in the back of your mind in the morning, the thought in your head that your friends are out on the water at this moment enjoying something you will never actually enjoy again?

This is the life you chose.

Live with your choices or find a final solution.


what the hell dude?  All i wanted to do was waterski.  I am like, i dont know, 8 years old?  I dont even know.  My summers are basically 3 years long.  I have no concept of time, or space, or...I don't know, sorrow or loss.

You can't take this away from me.

I come into this with a completely open heart and mind.

Do not let those who have come before me, and are jaded by the world influence my experiance.

.....

What the hell did I just say?

I am 8..or so...that makes no sense.  Never the less, you are weird and my mom just made popcorn, so, I am going to do that.  Then probably shit my pants.


Fine.

Do that.

I will be here.


Yeah, I am sure you will be.

You fucking douche. You just can't let things be fun.  You have to inject bullshit into everything that is pure.

An activity that is fun, you have to make it un-pure, your a stain on everything.

I don't even know what that means, I have popcorn butter on my life jacket.

An apt metaphor, popcorn is fun.  popcorn is simple.  so is this, and yet, i have a stain on my life jacket...from the popcorn.

Damn.

Im not old enough for this shit.


Yes you are.

Best to learn it now, and not be savaged by it later.


The hell man.

****10 years later****


WOO HOOO!!

This is hella fun!  I get to ski with my friends, look at us looking all awesome.  This is great.

Skiing on a ski team is super great, great friends, fun experiences, and unlike my friends at high school...I am so happy that I have been able to grow up in this environment!


Are you sure?


Dude, fuck you.

Yes, I am glad.  This is a fantastic sport.  Its fun, its different, people don't judge you based on y.....you know what.

You can go right to hell.

This is not something that you get to ruin.  Our lives are not some sort of fucking docket that is read over at a judges desk.  Its supposed to be fluid. It is not supposed to make sense.  Waterskiing is not like a "normal" sport, its weird, it unique.  Its a part of your identity, it helps us feel better about ourselves, it makes our outlook on life more positive.

This is a good thing and I don't want you trying to spoil it.

Yes, it gets into your bones, makes you see things a different way.  Thats a good thing.


Thats cute.

You are going to learn such a hard lesson.  This is not a life that you chose.  its a life that choses you, and you have no say in the matter.

You're right, it does get into your bones, but, its like a virus, it never lets go.  You are stuck with this forever.  You have no way out.

Every thing you do, every where you go, everything you ever do will always be de...


Are you shitting me?  Thats lyrics to the Police song I'll Be Watching You


ITS APPLICABLE HERE YOU GOD DAMN IDIOT!

You will never be able to escape what this sport does to you.  It changes you, changes your mindset. Changes how you view the world.


And what is wrong with that?  Sounds like a good thing.

To be able to view the world through the lens of a chilled out waterski person?  That sounds awesome.  In fact thats how everything should be.

We deal with enough of the idiot people who live their lives in towers, in condos, plated in gold that have no idea how the world really exists. Who have no idea the power of a few beers on a pontoon boat late at night under the stars.

Nature, being centered, allowing the bullshit to slip away, to really embrace the power of your fellow human, to understand how this world works.

Its not some sort of competition.

Its us all together, trying to make a better versions of what we have.  The best that we can do it.

Life is a finite resource, so we should make it the best version of it that we can.

Right?

YOU EXTRODINARY MORON!  YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS DOES, AND HOW IT MANAGES YOUR LIFE.

WE ARE NOT ONE TO CONTROL THE WORLD, THE WORLD CONTROLS US, WATERSKIING DOES NOT ALLOW YOU THE OPTION TO PEACE OUT AND JUST ENJOY PARTS, YOU HAVE TO BE SO INVOLVED THAT IT TAKES CONTROL OF ALL PARTS OF YOUR LIFE.

THATS THE WAY OF THE WORLD, THATS HOW THE NATURAL ORDER OPERATES.  YOU ARE FUCKED FROM HERE TO THE END OF YOUR LIFE.

THERE IS NO ESCAPE.

YOU WILL BE ETERNALLY LINKED TO THIS WORLD AND YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO ACQUIESCENCE TO OUR DEMANDS.

SUBMIT YOURSELF NOW TO OUR DEMANDS AND WE WILL ALLOW FOR YOUR SWIFT MERCIFUL ENDING.




I don't know know why you are yelling like that, and the fact that it has been something like 20 years should prove to you that your nonsense isn't true.

I mean, look at me, I am third tier on a show ski pyramid.

This is fun!

This is how skiing is supposed to be, a communal effort amongst like minded people!

Out there to have a good time!

Now, while we are talking.  And I "like" our talks, I have to let you know.  It would really help me if you would leave me alone for awhile.  We have a big tournament coming up and our team needs to practice.

Your whole line of nonsense that waterskiing is some sort of life long commitment, some sort of curse, something that we can't get away from...its dumb, its deductive, its stupid and assumes that we are all incapable of making our own decisions.


HAVE YOU SEEN A PICTURE OF YOUR DAD?

I DOUBT IT.  DON'T BE SO QUICK TO MAKE DECLARATIVE STATEMENTS WITH OUT FACTS.


dude, your just embarrassing yourself now.  knock it off.  I have shit to do.


YOU ASKED FOR IT!

HAVE YOU MET MY SON!  YOUR FATHER???????

THIS IS HIM WHEN YOU WERE 2 YEARS OLD!!

YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE.  YOU BELONG TO US!!


sup.



Fuck.

Jan 25, 2017

Legalize Waterskiing


Thank you Bunny Colvin, you are a good man.  Fight the good fight.