Jun 29, 2007

Somebody Must Have Done Something To Piss Someone Off

Not really breaking news or anything, nor is it even from our country, but, in Maidenhead, Berkshire some punk kids decided to get off torching a boat of a local ski club.

Guess they were pretty upset at the boat for some reason because they moved it away from a big LP tank so it wouldn't assplode like crazy.
They cut through the gates of the club in Amerden Lane and the clamp
securing the vessel and towed the boat to a secluded spot and set fire
to it.

like the line from Pulp Fiction when the dude is talking about the guy keying his car. "It would almost be worth him doing it, just so I could have caught him doing it"

Boat sunk by Arsonists (Maidenhead-advertiser)

Jun 18, 2007

Yikes...Hurry to Pleasant Prairie, WI. Post Haste!

I have a fox on my pants.

In looking for some news on our favorite wake boarder, Dallas Friday, we unearthed...or more like, google told us, that there is some sort of wakeboard tournament this weekend in Pleasant Prairie, WI this weekend. June 20-24.

So, being the good model citizens that we are, we decided to let everyone know where and what the hell Pleasant Prairie, WI is and..umm...is.

Pleasant Prairie is about an hour north of Milwaukee. Where they make Miller beer. Swank!

See, just look for the blue...shit...your pregnant?

allright, in lieu of actually retyping stuff and trying to be funny, we are simply going to paste a bunch of stuff from the wiki man.

"As of the censusGR2 of 2000, there were 16,136 people, 5,819 households, and 4,393 families residing in the village. The population density was 186.3/km² (482.3/mi²). There were 6,050 housing units at an average density of 69.8/km² (180.9/mi²). The racial makeup of the village was 94.08% White, 1.45% African American, 0.39% Native American, 1.38% Asian, 0.02% Pacific Islander, 1.03% from other races, and 1.64% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 3.37% of the population.

There were 5,819 households out of which 37.0% had children under the age of 18 living with them, 65.0% were married couples living together, 6.7% had a female householder with no husband present, and 24.5% were non-families. 19.0% of all households were made up of individuals and 7.6% had someone living alone who was 65 years of age or older. The average household size was 2.73 and the average family size was 3.15.

In the village the population was spread out with 27.2% under the age of 18, 6.6% from 18 to 24, 31.3% from 25 to 44, 24.2% from 45 to 64, and 10.6% who were 65 years of age or older. The median age was 37 years. For every 100 females there were 98.6 males. For every 100 females age 18 and over, there were 96.7 males.

The median income for a household in the village was $62,856, and the median income for a family was $71,452. Males had a median income of $50,477 versus $30,293 for females. The per capita income for the village was $26,087. About 3.0% of families and 3.2% of the population were below the poverty line, including 2.6% of those under age 18 and 5.1% of those age 65 or over."

Anyways, there you go. Show up if you are in the area. Holla at your boy mang. God...we need to stop drinking beer at lunch.

Wakeboard Tournament (wakeboard.com)
Wiki Stuff (Wikipedia)

Jun 12, 2007

I am, in fact, your huckleberry

Watch your back Parrish

Back for its second go around, if you will, is the Waterski Magazines Slalom Shootout.

/Golf Clap

It begins on Webcast TV on Wednesday Morning at 8:00 AM...and who in their right mind wants to watch waterskiing at 8 am?

But, anyways, the event is back this year on your computer screen with a few changes. There is a day one, but, nothing really fun goes on then. So we skip ahead to day two (Wednesday) and paste some info nabbed from Waterski Mags website.
"Day Two – Slalom Shootout Part I

*Open Men's Slalom Tournament: A one-round, men's slalom tournament for the chance to compete in two more non-traditional events.

*38 Off Spin it to Win It: The top 12 skiers from the open round run consecutive 38-off passes until they fall or quit. The skier with the highest ball count wins.

Day Three – Slalom Shootout Part II

*ProAm Tournament: Clinic participants will compete alongside three skiers from each boat team in a handicapped, Class F tournament for the chance to win gear and prizes.

*Cold 39 Contest: The top 12 skiers from the open round start the event at the 39.5 off pass and see how close they can get to the world record.

*Head-to-head Team Challenge: In each heat, one skier from each team skis behind his sponsor's boat. The best score wins the heat and a point for the team. At the end of five heats, the team with the most heats won (points) wins the challenge."
I got some beers, LETS DRINK EM!!

What would be more interesting would be instead of a cold 39, have a cold 30/30 competition.

Now granted, there may not be technically a 30 off pass, but, follow me on this one.

You are required to slam a 30 pack...beer bong available if need be...and then you must ski a 30 off pass.

Think about it, how awesome would that be? Just imagine!

Probably some of this

Followed by some of this

And then some of this!!

Lets get it on!!

Slalom Shootout (watetskimag.com)

Jun 6, 2007

Turn on Your Damn Television!!!

The All-Stars...There Here!!

TV Update everyone!

The All-Stars will be on the Outdoor Channel beginning June 11th. Now, the Outdoor Channel may not be ESPN or anything, but, it is a normal premium cable channel for most people.


Here is what the NCWSA.com site says:
So far we know that on Direct TV its 606, on the Dish its 153. The Outdoor Channel will air the All-Stars competition on June 11 at 2:30 a.m., June 12 at 7:30 a.m. and June 16 at 3:30 p.m. The Outdoor Channel will air the Bellevue Cadillac Night Jump Challenge on June 18 at 2:30 a.m., June 19 at 7:30 a.m., and June 23 at 3:30 p.m. All times are Eastern Daylight Time (EDT).
Thats hot.

If for some reason you would need more incentive to watch, you can probably get some mad Kole love from the night jump part!!

Playas keep Playin!!

2007 All-stars to air June 11th (NCWSA.com)

Jun 5, 2007

The Only Recap You WIll EVER Need!!! Part Two

Measles? Is that what you are calling? Damn you women!!

So, yes, sorry that the recap is so late. Like i said we were attacked by a beer truck and that has caused some serious issues with our servers and ability to type!

But, in the all-star competition the Western Region came strong and nabbed back the title that was won last year by Team Midwest.

Screw the Mid-West, WEST COAST!!!

This is the basic break down...errr...the actual breakdown.

1) Western Region - 11,010
2) Team Midwest - 7,020
3) Eastern Region - 3,090
4) Southern Region - 3,065

Nice to see the south show up this year!!

Lets not get carried away here boys

So, last year Brody Reid and Cale Burdick basically swept the winners podium, but, this year it looks like there is some new blood looking to take their place at the high position of best collegiate waterskiier to ever walk to face of the earth ever.

to wit:

Mens Slalom
1 BURDICK, CALE - 3 at 39.5
2 MAGNOWSKI, KOLE - 6 at 35 off
3 REID, BRODY - Ditto.

Not bad gents. Is it not amazing that running a 35 off pass in college doesn't get you a win. Thats amazing. Kole and Brody (btw: Kole is the early leader in the clubhouse for the CRB award this year), but these two dudes ran sick sets in shitty conditions, rain and whatnot, and lose to the force of nature that is Cale.

Impressive boys.

2 REID, BRODY W , AZ 2890

Here is our boy Brody again. It should be mentioned that while we do enjoy trick skiing, its kind of hard to get excited about. Its actually neat to watch in person though. But, the best way to describe the action from Mr. Critchley is from Jeff Surdej from his live update from that day.

Steven Critchley coming in from team South Central, coming in ..... SLO, B, W5F, B, SLBB, F, SLB, F, BFl, R, BFlB, BFlF, B, BFlBB, BB, R, F, ... woah .... 4910, new personal best, and pushing him well in to first place for men's Trick, Way to go Steven!!!
2 KINNEY, BRIAN - 172 Feet
3 MAGNOWSKI, KOLE - 167 Feet

What is interesting about this is that from the Night Jump competition, is that it was Kole, Brody and Steven launching some bigger jumps then in the actual competition. This goes to prove my theory that every collegiate person in the world is much better at night then during the day.

Bow chicka bow wow...know what I am saying!!!

It looks like you are having trouble with your cable....so am I!!

Ok, lets move on to the better looking half of the tournament.

Womens Slalom:
1 EDEBACK, HANNA - 2 at 35 off
2 SLIGAR, JENNA - 1 at 35 off
3T DALEY, NINA - 3 at 32 off
3T NEELY, ANDREA - Affirmed

Hanna bested her last years performance by a .5 buoy to knock off Jenna Sligar. Solid.

Womens Tricks:
3 LEE, KERRI - 1530

Dang, there are two Sligars roaming the collegiate world? Watch out, you combine those two together into one skiing making, the Janielle Sligar Waterski Machine, could easily rival the Hope College Wrecking Crew for supreme world domination.

Womens Jump:
1 LEE, KERRI - 121

See what I am saying, theres our girl Jenna rounding out the machine. awesome.

Again, we think that all you guys are awesome. Its so cool to see the collegiate sport do so well and see so much talent out there having fun and skiing. The night jump was dope. Kudos to all.

Excuse me, aren't you forgetting something?

Sorry honey, It almost slipped my mind. I will take the garbage out when I get home.

Kurtis was our boy and held strong to the ideals of the CRB title for a year, but, times change, people move on and its time to annoint a new CRB for the year.

Step up Bitches!!

This year, the award goes to.....


Two reasons for this years selection:
1) Awesome 201 foot kick in the night jump
2) Being named after Nascar legend Cole Trickle!!

Thanks babe, see you at home.

Congrats Kole!! You earned it!!

Scores (NCWSA.Com)

Jun 3, 2007

The Only Recap You WIll EVER Need!!! Part one

Its been a hell of past couple weeks. The CRB headquarters has been attacked by a Coors Light beer truck and were forced to drink all the beer before we were allowed to turn on a computer, or eat, or do simple maintenance to our racconn farm cages.


The CRB Minions are fresh with stories to tell, as the traveling Chevette took its damn sweet time making its way back.

So, as it was, then again it will be, the weekend was quite the experience. Its going to be tough to recap it all, but, we do have one of those sweet swimming caps on with some goggles, one of those snorkel things and a broken trick ski. But, thats just a normal friday night with the wife if you know what i am talking about.


One of the cooler events that we are aware of was the night jump. If you have seen the London Night Jump you know what I am talking about. Jumping at night.

You know what happens at night don't you?

The seventh rule of Collegiate All-Stars: Flights will go on as long as they have to!!

So, serious. The first ever (is that true?) night jump at the all-stars went off with nary a hitch and as a matter of fact if was pretty boring. nothing really happened....move on....


you mean.


It was pretty cool!! Just kidding!!

Yes, and as it turns out the night jump was pretty fucking awesome. As you can no doubt tell by the bracket below that was produced by the same company that did the Barefoot Central website.

Errr...I think you need a magnifying glass for this....

Anyways, suffice to say that it was cool. But, lets take a look at the final pairings, from 4 on up. thats where the fun begins anyways right?

Actually, fuck it. Just click on the picture. Lets start at the top. look who one the damn thing, Kole!!

err...Cole....err..Cole TRICKLE!!!

Scientology RULES!!

Anyways, he yakked a 201 at like 1 am. No way is that possible!

But, the real fun is if you look back at the brackets.

Starting with the elite 8...VERY original btw, but, thats where the real fun starts...so follow along.

Steven Critchley knocked off Justin Pingatore 190 to 156, while Brody Reid (which sounds like a character on Boson Legal) tipped Cale Burdick 163 to 148. So in their pairing, all of a sudden Brody who was doing the rope-a-dope and Steven both ripped off a pair of 190s. but Brody advanced because he had dirt on the pool boy and the misses next door who knew the judge who was overseeing the case.

Which is lucky, because it gave him the edge he needed to get into the finals.

Now, in the lower half of the bracket things got all kinds of fun.

Brett Mommer (whose mom goes to college) faced off against Kole Magonwski. so, Kole knocked off the Mommer 173-147, while Kerri Lee hoped 99 feet to Brian Kinneys 191...meaning Brian, who jumped 191 fucking feet, really gets no love what so ever.


When Brian and Kole squared off in the next round, Kole hulked up and launched a 189 to which Brian meekly responded with a 189. :)

So, they went again and Kole knocked him off with a 193 to a 190 by Brian.


That left Kole and Brody in the finals.

And we know who won, and to be honest, Jeff Surdej's re-cap on ncwsa.com describes this a little better then we can....because we are all hung-over today!!
"So the finals were on as 1am approached. At this point the drama and excitement could not have been any better, everyone was on the shore dressed in halloween outfits going crazy. Brody went out first as the lower seed and booted a 193 in a one jump format, at this point not one jump in the one jump format was bad, just amazing. So now Kole had to do all he could and he did putting out a 193 and yes another freaking tie and not only that a tie in meters. At this point we didn't even know what to say we just could not believe how things were laying out.

So another tie had to be broken, Kole went out first this time and the jump we all had been waiting for finally went down, a 201. Brody came up short although it was still a tremendous jump for 1am in 40 degree weather in the rain."

Is that a Stiffy Longboard or you just happy to see me?

Pt. 2 coming soon!!

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...