Jul 31, 2009

Lake Trout Carry Out

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.

Now that is what I am talking about! Get creative, have fun with it. Oh and Ohio state football is the hella lame!

16 year old Aussi steps up to the plate to replace Ryan Green and his lame-o knee

I've heard of 2 of these bands, but my taste in music is for the more ho downish fair so that may be the problem. But this certainly does look like they have listened to the all knowing ODBF and set up a freaking sweet event for the Worlds this year. This should be the biggest waterski event in years. Im a little disapointed that I have not heard more about it from USAWS though...

I have been involved in a couple Adaptive Waterski events in the past few years and honestly at the end of the day you could not possibly feel better about yourself. Unless of course you just spent the day at the lake with this chick (NSFW) or these two (also NSFW)

Cable Wakeboard Nationals began yesterday. hmmm...yep missed that one

Rumor from the ski flies is that this crash involved our lovable neighbor to the north Verno. Ok so a quick note here...WTF ARE PEOPLE THINKING BEING OUT ON A LAKE WITH NO LIGHTS ON AT NIGHT!!!! FREAKING MORONS!!! about 10 years ago a women was out swimming across a lake we often skied on and got run over and lost her leg (actually lost it, they never found it) do people not realize that nobody can see you if you do not have lights on? idiots!! oh and the driver of the "ski boat" is blame free if you ask me.

No idea where sanford is and Im to lazy to look around this site and figure it out, but come on now calling your summer festival Summah Daze is...well its just odd. That or your located in Alabama in which case thats how everyone talks so its all good!

Jul 29, 2009


So as I was reading the always informative Exec Director report I see that skiers in states that are not where the CRB global headquarters is located are experiancing the same issues that I have seen here. ie low turn out in younger age brackets. why is this? why does it seem like all of our skiers are in Mens 4? Well it could be that those running the events are all the mens 4 skiers that take skiing way to damn seriously! Now dont get me wrong, when I am on the water I, like said mens 4 skiers, am doing all I can to get another bouy or that trick that Ive been working on all summer, but serously, if you want the numbers then take a note from collegiete skiers...PARTY!! WOOT!!!

Or how about have some fun with skiing. Put together a team competiton or a relay race. A relay race you ask? how does that work you ask. Well shit I dont know, your smart you figure it out!! Just have fun! While some of us may live this sport, for it to to be as succesful as it once was we need to bring the fun back into it. Have a big cookout, encourage competitors to bring their families, have a band or DJ play at night and for god sakes have fun! Im so tired of listening to people at tournaments spend the whole day bitching about how fast its going or how their kid deserved a reride when they fell early in a run. You know what if they desereved a reride they should have asked for one, if they did not get it well then they must not have deserved one.

I have a friend who jumped in the 170s, ran into 35 and tricked about 3k and he quit skiing competions because the fun was gone for him. Skiers like this are the ones we need to keep around, they obviously put in the effort and trained to become good skiers but if we can not keep a skier who has obviously put in alot of time and loved the sport that how are we going to get new blood to come in? As a sport we need the pros and we need the mens 4 guys who have put in their time and know how to get events put together, but lets have some fun with it at the same time.

I often joke that we are in the richest of rich kid sports. Hell just look around your private lake the next time you head out and what do you see? Exclusivity thats what I see. The reason I like show skiing is not because they have the best atheletes, but because they do by far the best job of bringing in new blood. When was the last time you saw 15 kids under 10 at your lake learning to ski? Some private lake clubs do a few learn to skis a summer and thats great, but how about working with the local high school to get a club started there and give them one night a week to come out and learn to ski. Stop adjusting your fin for a second and think about it, wouldent it be awsome if you showed up to your state tournament in a few years and saw 40 skiers in mens and womens 1? I have won overall multiple times at my states and I have crap knees and cant jump for shit. That makes me sad, now I dont mind bringing home some hardware but really should a guy doing a ride over or light singles be able to win overall? Hell there was one year that there were only 2 of us competing for overall. How is it that the NCWSA events can have upwards of 500 pulls in a weekend and we cant field more then 50 or so skiers at a state event?

Oh yea and sex sells!

Jul 28, 2009

Trailer Love - Edged in Water 2

Never let it be said that we aren't easily swayed by commenters or, for that matter cool stuff. Double that up with certified super stud Tadd swinging by to remind us that Edged in Water 2 - Electric Boogalo is out and we spring to attention.

That's the youtube version of the Edged trailer, the clearer version on the waterski mag website doesn't allow you the ability to embed. Thats socialism man!

Go here (link) for the waterski mag version.

Do go to this site (link) to purchase your copy!
More then 80 Minutes of High-Energy Skiing

Join Waterski editor and pro slalom skier Todd Ristorcelli (ed note. sounds like a pasta) as he leaves Orlando, Florida, to set out on an epic waterski travel adventures to St. Maarten, France, Italy and California in his search of glassy water, inspiring skiers and good times.

A step beyond the physical act of skiing, the joy of the experiance is sharing it with people who have the same passion.

Will Asher, Jamie Beauchesne, Marcus Brown, Thomas Deparsperi, Trent Finlayson, Natalie Hamrick, Chris Parrish, Nick Parsons, Chris Rossi, Keith St. Onge, Terry Winter and more...


Jul 27, 2009

32 Accounts Trailer Again

Only 29 hundred some views for this trailer? C'mon waterski-frica! Lets get the word out!

A dog barking has over 700,000 views, and we all have dogs!

There are some cool videos coming out recently (present / past tense..FIX YO ENGLISH!!), err, some cool videos that have come out recently and more cool ones on the horizon.

"Gifted" is out and is good (our review) and 32 Accounts is coming out soon!

Minion Reincarnate posted a quick thing about the 32 Accounts a while back, but, we present it again. Why not huh? The more the better!

Via their website, Onside Films, 32 Accounts should be coming out in August and features a bunch of rad skiers. Such as..
Athletes: Will Asher, Karina Nowlan, Freddy Krueger, Jaret Llewellyn, Chris Rossi, Thomas Asher, Zack Worden, Nicole Arthur, June Fladborg, Ray Stokes, Aaron Larkin, Jonathan Travers, Brooks and KC Wilson, and more.

And More? Holy smokes, that means we get to see Neil Young on skis? Softball guy on skis? The possibilities are endless!

Jul 26, 2009

One Hour Interview

On the Fark was a survey asking "If you could have a one hour interview with anyone, living or dead, who had to tell the truth, who would it be?"

This is a fascinating question. Think about it. really think about it.

Martin Luther King? Hitler? Kennedy? Nikola Tesla? Jenna Jameson? Who would it be?
I love this question, because, beyond all our political stuff and whatever, the ability to ask anyone an hours worth of questions that they have to answer honestly? WHEW!! Thats some amazing stuff right there.

This got us thinking at the CRB HQ, and even though its the weekend, we still are working.
We are a waterski blog though, so, lets rephrase the question slightly, "If you could have a one hour interview with anyone, living or dead in the waterski world, who had to tell the truth, who would it be?"


This is your question to ponder for the rest of the weekend, into monday, whatever. However you guys all aim at this sport...what do you really want to know? Who would you ask?
Maybe its something simple like, "I want to talk to Sammy Duvall for an hour and see how bad ass he really is" or, "I want to talk to Dallas Friday and see if she is as bad ass as I think" or whatever.

Coming from the CRB...we have all put our heads together and have come up with a couple ideas. Then again..its just us thinking. But, here is the one that we would choose. Well, two actually.

Lisa Jackson, head of the EPA.


Ralph Samulson, first waterskier ever

We know most of you are afraid to post comments...so we dont expect anything, but, shoot us some ideas. We would love to hear it.

And the Jimi picture? Yeah, imagine the stories he could tell!!

Jul 25, 2009

She Is A Manimal!

Regina Jaquess... wealthy, young, handsome. A woman with the brightest of futures. A woman with the darkest of pasts. From Africa's deepest recesses, to the rarefied peaks of Tibet, heir to her father's legacy and the world's darkest mysteries. Regina Jaquess, master of the secrets that divide woman from animal, animal from woman... Manimal!
Regina Jaquess is a Manimal...or, maybe more accurately, a Womanimal! She just set another "pending" record! This girl is redick. She just recently set a pending slalom record, and now a much more confusing one. From the USA Waterski site:
At the Guadalajara International Cup on July 18 in Santa Rosa Beach, Fla., Jaquess scored 4 buoys at 39-1/2 feet off in slalom, tallied 8,180 points in tricks and leaped 171 feet (52.2 meters) in jumping to finish with 2,934.36 overall points.
What does that mean? How does this scoring work?

Whatever it means, its awesome.

Update: Regina Womanimal pic now with 100% more Nola

Jul 24, 2009

Lake Trout Carry Out - Now with twice the Trout (update)

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.

  • People waterski in Florida? what? when did this happen...nobody told me Im pissed! Oh its just Tampa
  • Oddly enough it was not until after the world games began that we even heard about this event. Maybe its because the CRB world head quarters forgot to pay the power bill (damn you powerco), or the fact that the IWSF website is by far the worst global sport governing body website in the history of sports. I swear the Mongols probably had a better site for the ISWEHA (International Soccer With Enemys Heads Association) while they were busy raping and pillaging. I mean come on, this site is better and we are a bunch of drunks!
  • Wakeboarding meets the Wanchetee (sp? oh who cares) valley.
  • Nautique has sold over 200,000 boats. wow, thats alot of boats, I bet that grumpy ass guy on my lake when i was growing up is out yelling about shoreline erosion and all that grumpy crap.
  • Canyon lake ski club hosts learn to ski. no idea where canyon lake is and i was to lazy to look into it, but these sorts of events are a great thing for our sport. Get all the new peeps you can out there and maybe get some new kids hooked and they can be the future CRB Minion or some other nonesense name on this nonesense website.
  • I know I already said something about the world games but I love the name of this newspaper. The Chatanoogan has a story about Caroline Hensley from the world games.
  • While reading the Wikipedia page for waterskiing I see under the "terms" tab that a common command for starting a run is "take me for a rip". um really? I have said some stupid things to start a run (cowboy up, give it to me, do it to me uh huh uh huh...Im an idiot) but I have to say i have never heard "take me for a rip".
  • Mindworks Photography took pics at the Wisconsin State show ski tournament and put together some really cool photo montages. well worth the click!
Have a kick ass weekend, eat a grilled watermelon salad.


Came across this vid, its painful to realize how much we enjoy this. Watch close at the 1:04 mark...great sync.

Jul 23, 2009

Wakeboard Lesson - Whirlybird

One thing that the CRB has fallen victim to, or egregiously overlooked, is wakeboarding love. That is very disappointing and management has taken internal steps to rectify that situation. How you ask? Strongly worded memos and beatings to start.

Well, here is our first step at reclimation, and it comes to us from Ross Skrudland, wakeboard youtube man and noted playboy*.

Please watch, then, grab your board and do this! Whirlybirds are the best and need to be incorporated into everything. Whirlybird on a slalom ski? YES! Whirlybird on a swivel ski? YES MA'AM! Whirlybird while spotting? YES! Whirlybird with your significant other? YES YES YES!! OH MY GOD YES!!!


Jul 22, 2009

Guess Who - Guess What Edition

This edition of the "guess who" one of the CRB 'ideas bound to fail', as we incorporate a "guess what" into it. In this edition we present you this picture, with one important detail ms painted out. Your task, should you choose to accept it, or even if you don't, is to guess what this is and what its all about.

The winner receives one of the following out of the ODBF mini-fridge.
  • Lean Cuisine
  • Microwave Burrito
  • Bowl of Bleu Cheese (not dressing, actual bleu cheese)
  • Severed Finger
Let us know what you think!

Jul 21, 2009

Stop the Presses! No, wait...Read the PDF!

Ball of Spray posted this the other day, the presser from Malibu about the Pro Tour Stop in Abbotsford. Abbotsford as you know is in Canada, British Columbia to be exact. Which, to our knowledge also contains Whistler, which is a rad ski hill.

Now, the CRB has not ventured that far north, but, Victoria Jealouse, a pro snow board girl graced the pages of Transworld Snowboard and we were smitten.

"What does this have to do with waterskiing?" you are saying to yourself. Which is a funny thing to say to yourself.

Nothing is the answer. But, We are saying that B.C, Canada is awesome, so is Abbotsford and by all means we all should go to the tour stop and cheer for our favorite skiers and drink Molson. It would probably sound like this.


Click here for the press release from Malibu. or, should you so desire and don't want to click links, by all means, read below! Oh, and no one can butcher formating and hyperlinks like the CRB.

*lights laptop on fire*
*scribbles blog post in crayon*

The final stop of the Pro Water Ski Tour presented by Malibu Boats will take place September 18-19, 2009.

(Abbotsford, BC, Canada) – The World’s top water skiers and jumpers will gather in Abbotsford, British Columbia September 18 – 19, 2009 to lean towards greatness behind a Malibu Response LXi. The Fraser Valley Water Ski Club is offering their man-made lake in Albert Dyck Park as the springboard to World Records. With this unique facility and the right water conditions, anything can happen. Join FVWSC, Pro Slalom Events LLC and Malibu Boats for an excellent couple days of Pro slalom skiing and jumping in the water ski capitol of Canada.

Additional Links
Pro Ski Tour Web Site (http://www.theproskitour.com)
Fraser Valley Water Ski Club (http://www.fvwsc.org/)
Connelly Skis (http://www.connellyskis.com)
HO Water Sports (http://www.hosports.com)
D3 Skis
Zero Off Speed Control (http://www.zerogps.com)
Masterline (http://www.masterlineusa.com)
Radar Skis (http://www.radarskis.com)

Top Men’s Professional Slalom Skiers slated to attend the last stop on the Pro Water Ski Tour include World Champion Team Malibu Skier Will Asher, World Record holder Chris Parrish, Jamie Beauchesne and a large field of international competitors. The Slalom portion of this event will consist of 2 record-capable qualifying rounds. The top 8 will emerge from qualifying to participate in an exciting head to head final. Qualifying will take place on Friday, September 18, 2009 with the finals following on Saturday the 19th at 1:30pm.

The high-flying Professional Men’s Extreme Jumpers showing up in Abbotsford will include Freddy Krueger, Jaret Llewellyn, Ryan Dodd and more. The best in the World will be present to hurl themselves toward the World Record and to a top podium finish. Krueger currently holds the world record with an unbelievable 247 ft. mark. The first round of Jump qualifying will commence on Friday, September 18, 2009 in the afternoon, followed by the second round on Saturday morning. Finals will take place Saturday afternoon at 3:00pm and be conducted in a new and exciting head to head format.

Lani Farmer, Malibu Boats Team and Event Director, commented on Malibu Boats support of the 2009 Pro Ski Tour. “Our support of water sports is not dictated by simple trend. Events like the Pro Ski Tour give us the ability to help promote the passions and lifestyle of our diverse group of owners.” Farmer continued, “This is why we chose to title sponsor the Pro Ski Tour.”

Pro Slalom Events, LLC’s goal is to bring water skiing back to the national spotlight giving spectacular athletes a stage to perform on. Founded by Dana Reed, Pro Slalom Events, recreated the Pro Water Ski Tour for the 2008 season, which became an immediate success. In 2009 Pro Slalom Events are continuing the 2008 momentum supporting events in North Carolina, Michigan and the Abbotsford, BC stop.

Reed had this to say about the Pro Ski Tour and its new relationship with Malibu Boats. “We are excited Malibu Boats shares our passion and enthusiasm for water skiing enough to support the amazing display of record-capable Slalom and Jump talent that we are sure to see in Abbotsford.” Reed continued, “We can’t wait for the event!”

Abbotsford has one of the only dedicated water ski venues in Canada; therefore, it has a long history of hosting amazing events. Albert Dyck Park is a unique facility with a man-made lake that hosts many local, provincial, national and international championships every year. The Fraser Valley Water Ski Club is continuously working to foster the development of new and existing athletes. FVWSC is committed to providing opportunities through the hosting of these types of tournaments.

Pro Ski Tour Sponsors: Malibu Boats, Connelly Skis, HO Water Sports, D-3 Skis, Zero Off Speed Control, Masterline, Radar Skis

About Malibu Boats: Build the best boat possible, give boat owners the best value and enjoy the workplace. Since Malibu Boats' inception in 1982 the mission has been this simple. On the journey from building 100 custom ski boats a year in a small shop, to their standing as the world's number one selling wakeboard and water ski boats, Malibu has become an exemplary American boat company.

To stay current on all Malibu happenings subscribe to the Malibu Boats Blog RSS feed (http://feeds.feedburner.com/MalibuBoatsBlog/). You can also visit the Malibu Boats web site (http://www.malibuboats.com) and the Malibu Boats blog (http://malibuboats.blogspot.com).

Jul 20, 2009

Lake Trout Carry Out - Monday Edition

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.

  • Jaret puts his ankle and his training for the worlds on ice. Ryan did you pull a Tonya Harding?
  • End of an era in Australia, Sea World Gold Coast skis their last show. The era of the pro ski show has been on a slow decline for years, it is sad that they think cutting ski shows for boring jet ski shows is the way to go.
  • I like newspapers that own up to their mistakes...like not covering any waterski or wakeboaring. At least this Texas newspaper will own up to their mistake.
  • And the Wisconsin Rapids news paper should be a good guide for how much a news agency should spend on covering waterskiing. and here

Hey now! is that appropriate?

After a drunken weekend for the ODBF and a whole ton of teams and skiers on the water The Mad City Ski Team of Madison won the largest ski tourny in the world. Pretty cool feeling I would think. I dont remember cuz I decided to drink my memories away. oh and I have never won nationals in any event. But I often kick the Rowboats ass in overall at 3 event tournaments. So I got that going for me.

Jul 17, 2009

Wisconsin State Show Ski Tourny Webcast

So, for your weekend fix of waterskiing, especially if you are interested in trying to find the ODBF in the flesh, watch the webcast of the Wisconsin State Waterski Tournament. If they show the beer tent, well, chances are you will see ODBF in prime form.

Wisconsin State Web Cast

ODBF had said that the Lake Trout Carry Out link dump would be done today for the weekend, but, being the unrelieable prick that the ODBF is, there won't be one. Instead, via John Hortons twitter comes this picture.

Debatable as to if this really is water sports related. But, sex sells, so, whatever works!

Have a kick ass weekend, watch show skiing, drink non-ironic Pabst Blue Ribbon and mow your lawn! For gods sake its nasty.


With twitter being the new hotness, we have tried to put together a list of some good twitter people to follow. However, in doing so we realized a few things.

1) When you dive into the twitter there are a million various paths that you head down and on each various path there are a million different worth while people. So, take this list as a jumping off point.

2) Its pretty heavily weighted to the three-event type world, which is good and all, but, there are a bunch of disciplines that we miss out on. wakeboard, barefoot, etc, etc. So, please help out!

We will try and update stuff as we go, but, help out if you can in the comment section.

So, here is what we have found so far. We have tried to divvy it up into categories.

Update: Effing blogger.com, i cant get a damn table to format right. so, here is the list sans any decent formatting or hyperlinking. *bashes head against table/desk/floor/dog*

Waterski Worlds http://twitter.com/waterskiworlds
LA Night Jam http://twitter.com/lanightjam
Big Dawg http://twitter.com/skibigdawg

Mandy Nightingale http://twitter.com/nightingalem
June Fladborg http://twitter.com/junefladborg
Nicolas LeForestier http://twitter.com/trickcoach
Mark Lane http://twitter.com/fastlane51
Karen Truelove http://twitter.com/karentlove
Thomas Asher http://twitter.com/thomasasher
Jaret Llewellyn http://twitter.com/jaretllewellyn
Seth Stisher http://twitter.com/h20zseth
Whitney McClintock http://twitter.com/whitmcclintock
Freddy Krueger http://twitter.com/thenightmare13
Alex Lauretano http://twitter.com/alexlauretano
Casey mommer http://twitter.com/rampkiller
Kole Magnowski http://twitter.com/kmagnows
Marcus Brown http://twitter.com/marcus_brown
Kyle Eade http://twitter.com/kjeade
Russell Gay http://twitter.com/russellgay

Waterski mag http://twitter.com/waterski_mag
Ball of Spray http://twitter.com/ballofspray
CreakyRowboat http://twitter.com/creakyrowboat
Ski HD http://twitter.com/bradpski
Wakeboarding Mag http://twitter.com/wakeboardingmag
Rykerts Lake of Sin http://twitter.com/rykertOT3
John Mommer http://twitter.com/jmp_photography
Kiteboarder http://twitter.com/the_kiteboarder

Sherman Schraft http://twitter.com/sschraft
Tadd Schreiber http://twitter.com/taddh2oz
Tony Lightfoot http://twitter.com/tonylightfoot
John Horton http://twitter.com/johnhorton

Ski Schools
Bennetts http://twitter.com/skibennetts

Goode Skis http://twitter.com/goodeskis
Nautique http://twitter.com/nautiqueboats
TCWAKE http://twitter.com/tcwake
HO Sports http://twitter.com/hosports
Malibu http://twitter.com/malibuboats
Connelly Skis http://twitter.com/Connellyskis
Ronix http://twitter.com/ronix
Radar http://twitter.com/radarskis
Global Marine http://twitter.com/jsglobalmarine
Hyperlite http://twitter.com/hyperlitewake
Epic Boats http://twitter.com/epicboats

AWWF http://twitter.com/AustralianWWF
USA Waterski http://twitter.com/usawaterski
Surf Expo http://twitter.com/surfexpo

Again, there are million more of these that we haven't listed here. Let us know.

Jul 16, 2009

Parrish Runs 41 off behind ZO

who is ZO? is that like the homeless guy that lives by the zoo? cuz he really creeps me out and I really doubt he should be driving a boat.

well I guess the dude can drive and Parrish can sure as hell ski. Looks like the old parrish of the PP days is back. Not really sure who PP is either, maybe he got banned along with BB...

Post is unrelated

so for post 501 I decided to go with something completly different.

I tried this jumping the other day, did not go as planned.

Ok, so I like a good baseball bench clearing brawl as much as the next guy, but um...WTF?!!?? There must be something in the water or rice or something over there in Japan.

Jul 15, 2009

500 Posts!

500 posts!

First post was April 21st in 2006, here, back when we were still called Green Boathouse. So, that's about three years and 500 posts. 500 / 3 = 166 posts a year or 166 / 365 = .45 posts a day.

That is unacceptable!

Anyway. Thanks for reading our stuff. Hopefully it won't take 3 years to get another 500.

CRB Staff
-Creaky Rowboat
-Rowboat Abides (ret.)

Also, we would be remiss if we didn't mention:

Sally (accounts receivable)
Amanda and Sam (accounts payable)
Mike, Eric and Jennifer (International Business)
Erik, Gustav, Mark and Elizabeth (Corporate Relations)
Meghan, Caitlyn, Sarah, Sara and Paul (Marketing)
Bob, and Willy Lohman (Sales)
Meriam and Angliki (HR)
Dennis, Herb, Jack and Kristi (R/D)

Jul 14, 2009

largest waterski tournament in the world

So this weekend in the small central Wisconsin town of Wisconsin Rapids, a town that has felt the economic downturn worse then many other communities. Built on the paper industry and facing a market that increasingly imports those products from Asia, they need all the help they can get. And help they will recieve in the form of a few thousand people wearing...tights...?

oh yea, time for the ODBF to make his annual trek to the Wisconsin State Show ski tournament...and yea, all the 3 eventers and what not that rip on show skiing, it is that fun. I mean BEER TENT hello!!

Ah yes, the great north woods, timber country, big burly men cutting down trees during the day and putting on tights and dressing up like Liberacie at night, what could be better?

well...hmm...yea on that note how about the running order

Starting on thursday are the individual events. It looks like there are 4 seperate events this year, Swivel, Doubles, Team jump and Freestyle Jump (woooooot!). But looking at the running order it looks a little on the slim side to me, 4 teams in team jump and only ONE!!! in freestyle? come on now, o'conner, Debalak, Rieshling, Olson...guys...anyone?...bueller? bueller? Where is everyone? Come on now guys, any event that makes use of Jazz hands in the ballet line is well worth attending...oh yea gotcha

Team Competition Running Order

The running order for the 2009 Wisconsin State Water Ski Show Tournament team competition is as follows:

Friday, July 17
1 Twin Bridge
2 Chain Skimmers
3 Badwater Ski-Ters
4 Aqua Devils
5 Plum Ski-Ters
6 Crivitz Ski Cats
7 Shawano Ski Sharks

Saturday, July 18
1 Chain Skiers
2 Brown's Lake Aquaducks
3 Mad-City
4 Water Bugs
5 Badgerland
6 Beaverland Must-Skis
7 Aquanuts
8 Lauderdale Aqua Skiers
9 Rock Aqua Jays

Sunday, July 19
1 Chetek Hydroflites
2 Webfooters
3 Waterboard Warriors
4 Shermalot
5 Minneiska
6 Wisconsin Rapids Aqua Skiers
7 Ski Sprites

So wait, let me get this right, the first team hits the water at 6:40 ok cool, gonna be dark by the 3rd show...oh you mean 6:40 AM...AM!!!!!! eat a dick! Im not getting up that early! good god man, thats like work week hours, this tournament needs to be set to my beer drinking hours, which means it needs to start at about noon or so and have piss breaks every 30 mins or so after and then around 6 there should be a nap break, then some time later a puke and rally break! Did you guys miss that memo? I mean you even have a hugh beer tent and everything, COME ON NOW GET WITH THE PROGRAM.

Yep, thats how it is supposed to be, even your local paper understands!

Jul 13, 2009

Freestyle jump making a comeback?

Ok so my near obsession with freestyle jumping looks like it is going to lead me to travel to the middle of nowhere, Paper Country Wisconsin. They have finally brought back the individual freestyle Jump compatition. Needless to say I

Jizzed in my Pants

No. Name of Maneuver Description
1 Helicopter 360 Spin 1.0 2.5
2 Flip Forward Flip 2.0 3.5
3 Gainer Gainer Type Flip 2.5 3.5
4 Mobius Gainer + Helicopter 5.0 6.5
5 Front Mobius Flip ± Helicopter 6.0 7.5
6 720 2 Continuous 360 Spins 3.5 5.5
7 1080 3 Continuous 360 Spins 8.0 12.0
8 In-Out 720 360 Spin + Reverse 5.0 9.0
9 Double Mobius Gainer + 720 Spin 10.0 13.0
10 Double Flip 2 Continuous Flips 8.0 12.0
11 Double Gainer 2 Continuous Gainers 10.0 15.0
12 180 ½Turnw/BackLanding 2.0 3.5
13 540 l ½ Turnw/BackLanding 4.0 6.0
14 Half Mobius Gainer + 180 w/Back Landing 6.0 8.0
15 1½ Mobius Gainer + 540 w/Back Landing 9.5 12.0
16 Front Half Flip + 180 W/ Back Landing 7.0 9.0
17 Front 11/2 Flip + 540 w/Back Landing 10.0 15.0
18 Reverse Gainer Backwards takeoff gainer, 5.0 8.5backwards landing
19 Twisted Sister Heli, Front Flip, Separate 5.5 8.5 Rotations
20 Air Raley TBD TBD

I am pretty much pissing my pants in excitment, maybe that means I am a hugh dork but I dont care, this stuff FREAKING ROCKS. A guy that can throw a 540 mobe is just as talented as a jumper that can go over 200. (just my opinion dont yell at me)

Jul 11, 2009

CRB Off-Sport - Sprint Boats

In the comments of the LTCO, commenter and well known ladies man, annonomous, posted this link to this video. We command you to watch it. Right NOW!

When you are done watching you will probably think to yourself that this is the coolest thing I have ever seen and please CRB you must tell us more about this rad sport. We will feed you baby birds.

This is an actual sport! Governed by teh USSBA, or, the United States Sprint Boat Association. The concept seems pretty easy huh? Small boat, big motor, two people in the boat racing around this little skinny watery course.

The potential for awesome crashes at every turn has to be immense, and yes, the crashes are that awesome. Observe.

Side note. Watching that video, you notice when the boats roll over you see some of the drivers and spotter with their arms flailing all around. THAT IS WRONG! They teach you that, especially in rally racing, when you roll grab onto the steering wheel or your seat belt and hold on tight, that way you don't chance breaking your arm, or having them grotesqly ripped off in an awesome display of steroid Olympic style gore.

See Travis Pastrana's arm at the 48 second mark. Hold on to the steering wheel Travis!!

Back on track, So now that we have established the awesome, lets get into some details shall we?

From the USSBA website, which may or may not have been designed in geocities, comes this bit of what, in fact, is Sprint Boating. Grab a cub of coffee or a beer and enjoy this bit of fun.

1990 saw jet sprinting first brought to the US. At first, racing was held in ponds and lakes, and the boats raced on a track setup with floating buoys. This was when the United States Sprint Boat Association (USSBA) was formed as a club. In 1997 the first in-ground track was dug in Marsing Idaho along the banks of the Snake River.

Here in the US jet sprint racing now consists of three classes, Superboat, Group A-400 and Super Modified. The USSBA has now transformed from a “club” to a true sanctioning racing body that sanctions and promotes Sprint Boat racing in the United States.

The engines in the boats range from 500 horsepower to well over 1,000 horsepower in the Superboat class. These boats approach straight-line speeds of up to 80-plus miles per hour and with their incredible turning capabilities can pull 3-7 g’s in the tightest corners.

In my years of reporting and photographing motorsports, I have had the great fortune to have been given rides in an SCCA 450hp Subaru rally car near Shelton, Washington and two laps at Portland International Raceway in the Petersen Motorsports 2004 Le Mans class winner Porsche 911 GT3 RSR.

Yes, those were both incredible rides that would please any adrenaline junkie, but riding in a USSBA sprint boat makes those rides little more than going to the grocery store for a half-gallon of milk on a Sunday morning with Grandma at the wheel.

Right out of the box your breath is taken away as you accelerate off the start line. As your pilot comes to the first corner you see the bank get closer and closer and you wonder when they are ever going to slow down for that extremely sharp corner that you can barely see! And they do not slow down! You grit your teeth and exhale hard as you experience the incredible g-forces and it’s that way through every straight and every turn. You’ve heard the term: Racing like your hair’s on fire. This type of racing is exactly that.

Your lap is over in less than a minute and you’ve hardly even breathed. Your adrenaline is maxed out, your legs are weak and your hands are shaking. You will never forget this moment. If you can ever swing a ride in a sprint boat, do it. You will not regret it.
We are sold!

There are a few more events coming up if you choose to partake in the festivities and happen to live in the Washington or Oregon areas. From both the Wicked Racing site and the USSBA site:

July 25th in Albany, Oregon - Field of Dreams
August 8th in Port Charles, Washington - Location TBD
August 29th in St. John, Washington - Webbs Slough
September 12th in Albany, Oregon - Field of Dreams
September 19th in Port Charles, Washington - Location TBD

If anyone is in that area, you MUST go to these events and take many pictures and share them with the CRB community. Maybe we can all get together, raise some money, and have a CRB sprint boat race team! Here, more video!

Wicked Racing 2008 Finals from Wicked Racing on Vimeo.

Jul 10, 2009

Lake Trout Carry Out: Hire/Fire/Rehire Edition

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.
  • Looks like the NSSA and USAWS have been listening to the ODBF and have brought back Freestyle jumping! not on the pro tour but at showski nationals...but a little bird has told the CRB that their may be a prize money freestyle jump competition in the works for next summer.
  • Mastercraft has rehired about 30% of its work force. Looks like the ODBF was overly pessimistic about MC's chances...
  • Cable Parks continue to grow in popularity. So while boat manufactures are showing signs of life non-boat assisted skiing is growing...something does not add up...(i failed math)
  • So it looks like all is rosy in the boat industry...um wait, Nope! looks like Nautique is laying off 1/3 of their work force. Ugh, that blows
  • Economic downturn be damned the (ski) show must go on

Have a kick ass weekend. Buy a boat.

Jul 8, 2009

Old School Cypress Gardens

Some pretty decent skiing in there. I still love the old bannana skis, those things were crazy, I suck somthing awful on them though. Tricks are one thing, but make them as long and thin as combos? now thats a bit harder. A good video of the bannana skis in action was the Ken White tribute vid, but YouTube in their infinite wisdom pulled it. Jerks

And a bit more recent look at the Gardens

Jul 7, 2009

CRB Off Topic

Im going to go off on a bit of a tangent here and at no point in any way will this have anything to do with waterskiing. well hell it might I have not typed it yet so I really dont know if i will get to skiing, but ah hell just read it or dont...whatevs

So Im sitting here at my desk working on my TPS reports and reporting to one of my 7 bosses (which somehow inicludes the janitor and some truck driver that I dont think even works here), and I decide to check out one of the many news sites out there. This is a crazy time in the world, there are big events occuring all around the world; Democracy protests in Iran, a war in Iraq, a war in Afganastan, ethinic riots in China, Obama and Putin meetting for lunch...and well lots of other news... But what to my dismay do I find as the lead story on every news website, every TV station, every radio station, most every freaking blog? MICHEAL JACKSONS MEMORIAL? all I can say is what the FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERY ONE? FOR GODS SAKE THE GUY WAS A CHILD MOLESTER!!! I dont think they are going to have a memorial for that child molester that moved into my neighborhood when I was a kid.

(seriously dude, why my neighborhood? all the rents got all freaked out and it totally screwed up my buddys 9th bday party, then you took pictures of kids at the park and you went back to prison...dipshit)

People are actually committing suicide over this has been! are you fucking kidding me? Killing yourself over some guy who sang some decent tunes back in the '80s then fell off the wagon of normalcy? Good Lord, you have to be kidding me, how were people this damn stupid able to survive this long? Not to be cruel or anything, but...yea wait, screw that, I am going to be cruel, The world is a better place with out you morons, good ridence. seriously again all i can think to say is FUCK WHAT THE FUCK? GAHHHHH.

It is just so incredibly irritating that our society eats this stupid shit up, we have Americans (and our allies) dieing every day fighting in wars across the world, we have a country that is on the fast track to economic ruin and we spend our time watching a bunch of fucking wackos bury a has been musician. Ok he was a pretty good musician in his prime, but so is Neil Young, and I have to say that Neil Young is light years more important to modern music then MJ ever was and I can guarentee you that when Neil dies there will be some sad peeps out there (those that have any sense of what music really is) but not a single person will kill themselves, and the funeral will be a small and respectable affair that does not draw such publicity whores as...well all those dumb shits in this link. And wait...wait...did that say VIP seats...and they charged admission...and the mayor of LA is asking for donations? FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK

and just to add a little icing on the cake...

The public part of all this - the escorts, police presence, securing the
freeways and area around Staples - is expected to cost well over 4 million. That
of course will be paid for by the City of Los Angeles. 4 million is a lot of
money to throw away on a private citizens funeral, but considering none of the
Jackson actually live or pay taxes there, it makes sense.

Hey wait…

Well that makes sense, California is only on the verge of bankruptcy, so spending $4 million of public money on a funeral really makes sense...

All I can say is FU...hey look hot chicks!

wow, people wear that type of stuff? in public? I need to move...

Guess Who

Guess who this fallen skier is and you win one interwebs.

Photo Credit: Jaret Picasa

Jul 6, 2009

Jaquess Posts Record - Eventually

Here is the video from the boat of Regina Jaquess world record tying run (via b.o.s), and to us it looks pretty good.

Yet, here is the post from the USA Waterski:
U.S. water ski athlete Regina Jaquess tied the women's world slalom record of 1 buoy at 41 feet off on Friday at the Florida Inboards Open in Santa Rosa Beach, Fla. The score is a pending record until reviewed and officially ratified by the International Water Ski Federation's Technical Committee.

If approved, Jaquess will join U.S. athlete Kristi Overton-Johnson and Australia's Karina Nowlan as the co-world record holder. Overton-Johnson originally set the mark on Sept. 14, 1996. Nowlan tied it on Sept. 21, 2008.
Now, here is the question. If Approved?

How would it not? We are asking this question with quite a bit of naivety, and asking it honestly.

Can someone explain this procedure?

If memory serves correct it took damn near a year to approve Freddy's world record jump, and that is just insane.

The record was, potentially, set at some tournament called the "Florida Inboards Open", which, while we have never heard of the boat company Florida Inboards, would seem to be a sanctioned tournament with officials on site and all the other various what-not that goes on to make a tourney legit.


Why go through all the rigamorole to properly set up a tournament and do all that and have the results questioned?

Sure, there can be a procedure to verify results and the like, but, sheesh, get it done asap.

This is something that should, could, would be done on site to verify right there that something cool happened.

Jul 5, 2009

Gifted - Review

Trying to review a movie, in a normal sense, takes into account plot, characters, storyline, cinematography, etc, etc...the normal things that hold your interest and intrigue. Read any review from anywhere, and the majority of time is spent talking about the actors performance, the way in which the story moves from one plot point to the next and how it all works as a cohesive film.

A waterski movie, or video, as the case may be, isn't something that can be judged by the same style points that one would use to judge a regular movie.

Thats the real difference between any movie and any waterski or sport related video, you can't judge what you see in the same way you judge anything else.

So, why even bring this up?

Well, one of the memories I have of growing up and waterskiing was hanging out in a buddies shop and checking out the latest ski gear that was for sale, talking big and watching the various waterski videos that were either supplied by vendors, or simple videos that they recorded on their own on the water and set to music.

Thats the basic genesis for all of these videos, its not so much a movie with a point, its more of a waterski celebration, or a celebration of waterski...depending on where you want to put that descriptive adjective modifier.

So, at its core, the video "Gifted" is just that, a celebration of waterski and is to be judged accordingly. How well does it showcase the skiers, how is the production value improve on anything else, are their unique angles to catch things you wouldn't see and do you really gain any insight into the skiers that are featured.

The answer to all those questions is yes.

I am not going to bother going through the movie shot by shot, or scene by scene, or vignette by vignette. Actually, Vignette makes the most sense, as the video is a series of vignettes strung together with the connecting pieces being inspirational quotes linking the scenes together.

Which, I suppose, is why the movie was titled "Gifted" as they, Ski-Hd, took some of the currently best skiers out there, the gifted, and promoted them as the hook.

Each little vignette begins with a bit of an informal interview, followed by the normal ski scenes set to music that, basically, no one has heard of...which isn't actually a bad thing, but...and here is where one of the quibbles comes into play is. (and that was a horribly constructed sentence, but, I got going and wasn't sure how to end it.)

Meaning, there really is only so much of slaloming you can see before it gets a bit repetitive. Thats not a bad thing mind you, its more of a note. Because, combined with some music that isn't particularly notable or recognizable and with similar shots of the same discipline, you don't tune out necessarily, but, you tend to drift a bit.

Case in point, the scenes with Alexei Zharnasek, trick skiing, provided a neat change of pace within the construct of what was happening.

Either way, its a gorgeously shot movie that, as a waterskier, everyone should go out and purchase. There are a few reasons for this as well.

1) Its very good, and its great to have on during a party or gathering or something like that.
2) The more we support the people who do this sort of work the better, as it will no doubt encourage more like this.
3) It really is very good.

My hopes for videos like this in the future would be a few.

1) Less of the quick-cut style editing of a slalom run/jump cut/trick pass. I.e, its difficult sometimes to grasp the entire scope of Freddy's jump cut if you see his pre-turn, then cut to him crossing the wake then cut to the jump. A single camera shot from the wrong side of the lake showing the entire set-up, cut, jump and landing would be awesome.

2) Maybe a better merging of the interviews into the action. In a silly way, it reminds me a porn movie (not that I have seen any) but, there is the set-up scene.."I am here to fix the cable"...then bow-chicka bow-wow, and they get it on. You can have, for example, a skier talking about that specific run, or how they got where they are, or what they are thinking or something.

Meaning, the interviews are cool, and I like the look inside, but...maybe it would be nice to hear the skier describe whats happening, how they got there...whatever...etc.

3) Music. This is way more of a personal thing then a overall aesthetic thing. I wish I knew what the music was ahead of time, i.e, I was familiar with it. Maybe thats stupid, but, if I was to set my own skiing to music I would probably use Neil Young or Kings of Leon or something...

Then again...maybe people don't know what that is and would have the same complaint. So, its a moot point in a sense, and maybe the rights to the music is expensive and maybe it was the skiers choice to have that music. Don't know. But, thats just what I think.

Final Analysis.

As a skier, there is a strange feeling that I have and the reason...in a vague sense...as to why this website was began (other then goofing with Rykerts dog and what-not) was to maybe have a place to vent frustrations with things that don't live up to the standard that our sport deserves.

Its a strange thought, but, when something waterski related is out there for public consumption, you want it to strongly identify with our sport, not make light of the work that the skiers put in, the work the companies put in, and you want our sport to be portrayed in a light that accurately reflects that.

Videos like "Gifted" do just that, it shines a very nice light on our sport, it looks professional, it doesn't take the skiers work, their passion for granted, and shows the athletes that make our sport so kick-ass in a light that accurately reflects their passion and dedication.

"Gifted" is just like that. You can sense the dedication and love for the sport within the movie, qualms aside, it sets out with great ambition and does raise the bar for waterski movies that are surely going to be shot in the future. It celebrates what these athletes do and puts that dedication down on film for us to enjoy.

Officer Buck?

Four Thumbs Up!

Where to purchase:


Countdown to 500

The CRB is closing in on the 500th post of its history.

Prepare you collective mindscape for an epic blog-party.

Natty ice and Cheez-its for all.

Jul 2, 2009


It looks like (according to this) that one of the big dogs in freestyle jumping has stated throwing the Discombobulator again. I have never seen one landed successfully live. Of course that is because its tough to watch yourself, but that was actually just how i jumped...I am that good...its all in the game yo. 220 with a back flip and a half twist...not an issue at all.


ODBF: nothing...


Lake Trout Carry Out

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.
  • Speaking of old peeps, she may be 84 but she could still kick the minions ass in the course and on land.
  • Bobby Labonte likes to fish and appearently owns a "ski boat" as well.
  • Sea World ramp is making the rounds. Dirty dirty girl...

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...