Mar 30, 2010

Lake Trout Carry Out - Madness Edition

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.

Midwest flooded last year, now its the East Coast. Next up is the Mountain West...or not
We posted a week ago about some crazy Auzzy peeps trying to throw up some big numbers. Well they did it with 114 people in all.

Well Played!

Some kid in New Zealand is practicing "hands free skiing". Or practicing his toe tricks as people who are not writers for the Wanganui Chroicle might call it.

If you follow @Mailibu boats on Twitter you have probably seen about 500 tweets about this. Some UFC dude got a Malibu. Really I'm not all that excited by that. Think about it. Dude makes bank, dude gets boat...yea, thats what rich peeps do. Tell me when he quits fighting in UFC and picks up jumping. Then I will care.

Padiwat Jaemjan of Thailand will be competing in the 2010 Malaysian Water-ski and Wakeboard Championships. There is probably some news in the article but I did not read it. The monkeys are off today so if your so interested read it your self. posts about skiing news quite often. No idea why or how supercross and skiing are related, but whatevs. The more the merrier! This one is about the Kansas City cable park and the big year they are expecting. Cable Parks are only going to get more and more prevalant and are most likely the future of not only wakeboarding but skiing as well. They are relativily inexpensive compared to owning a boat and open the sport up to many people that can not afford a boat.

I would think that Peeps (the easter candy) would not make good waterskiers as they would disolve and all that, but acording to this article they have been skiing on the Tennessee River. whatevs

Mar 29, 2010

Vid Day Monday - Metal Dogs

Water skiing dogs? Well its not really skiing so much as standing on a board and all that. But the dog can drive, hell hes probably a better driver then the Minion is. Its funny how cracked out guys in Colombian prisons are not very good boat drivers. Not sure why...

This next dog is gotta be the most metal dog ever. Alot of dogs just chase cars or bark at them, or like mine just stare at them until he can jump in and get mud all over the place. Why would I clean it up? He made the mess he can clean it up!

Vid Monday - How Not To Ski Edition

This is not the proper way to ski at a cable park. And LET GO DUDE!! I hung on like that once too...of course I was like 5 and swallowed a ton of water and was scaired to ski for awhile. That may be cuz I am kinda a pussy.

Ok and this is just awsome destruction with complete lack of regard for safty. And check out 0:17 for some awsome crumple zone action with some great steel on steel destruction.

/BOOM bitch get out the way

Mar 26, 2010

Waterski Magazine and Bespectacled Dog. A Love Story

I do say chap, that window treatment is quite pleasing

We got the new Waterski Magazine the other day in the mail.  Around these parts we do like to bang on Waterski Magazine for its heavy slalom focus, but, hey, thats our job. 

Oh, were sorry, we are getting a memo from corporate.  Lets rephrase, that is NOT our job.  I see.

Well, regardless, its only fair that if we critizize things we don't like, we should also compliment things when we do like them, and returning to our initial talking point, we recieved the latest issue of Waterski in the mail the other day. 

This is not to be confused with Edge, or whatever their online mag is called.  and of note, their online version thing, is absolutly phenominal.  Love it.  Maybe next week or sometime we will talk more about it, but, we think its fantastic. 

Now, the mag is in the mailbox and it looks different.  Something about it is different.  What could it be??  It still said Waterski on the front and had a picture of a slalom skier, so, we knew with those two clues it was the same magazine.

Unsure as to how to proceed, we called in bespectacled dog to help us suss out the situation. 

First, BSD, as we call the Bespectacled dog, noted that the magazine appears to be larger.  Printed on larger pieces of paper.  This allows more room for photos, less congestion, less claustraphobia.  Like a really porn movie shot in an airplane hanger.

Second.  The font and typesetting appear to be different.  Not sure if this is true or not, we pressed BSD on this issue.  BARK BARK, was the answer.  To which we all replied, "yeah, can't argue with fucking science now can we?".  The redone type seems to clear the clutter a touch, gives us a vibe of old school trans-world snowboarding magainze. 

Third.  More aerial shots.  Is this true?  no idea.  But aerial shots rule.  so thats good. 

Fourth, and most important.  Subtle, yet quite informative, how to articles.  How-to purchase a ski, how-to drive a boat correct...but, buried deep within the quivering innards of the mag, slightly moist with persperation and desire (we dare say) lay this little nugget of info. 

Notice in the upper left hand corner of the page.  See anything useful??

Now, we were always under the impression that safe sex involved using a condom, or birth control pills, but non of those are 100% effective, only abstinance.  Thanks Tim Tebow. 

But, the pullout method???  Thats highly dubious.  BSD was not impressed with this level of sex education.  Waterski Magazine should maybe double check or at least scan some peer-reviewed articles on this situation prior to pubslishing such a blatant lie. 

Think about the Kids!!!

Mar 22, 2010

Vid Day Monday - Crash

Some days that ski just does not want to go where it should, and this is an awsome montage of how not to run the course.

And for the non waterski vid of the day, how about some death and destruction on the ice.

Mar 21, 2010

This Would Have Been Easier

Over at the B.O.S, there is a post from Dave Goode about the new Mid Goode slalom. You can read it here, but, no need to.

Not that its poorly written or anything along those lines, no.  Here, lets check out a quick block quote, shall we?
The 9900SL MID uses GOODE's SL asymmetric features. There are two models of skis in each length and flex, each designed for a specific skier, Right-Foot Forward or Left-Foot Forward. The 9900SL MID is made with a premium grade PURE Carbon Fiber construction.

Each 9900SL MID ski compensates for the flex and torsional differences introduced by different skiing styles and virtually removes the idea of an "Off-Side" turn.

"My best three scores of 2009 were on the MID! Very fluid in the turn and a clean finish, too," said Nick Parsons.
Huh.  thats all good.  but, here.  lets look at the very last sentance in the post.
GOODE Skis hold both the Men's and Women's World Slalom Records.
Well, Jesus, why didn't you just say that first??

/whips out C.C
/Orders ski
/Gets divorced

Mar 18, 2010

CRB Site News: Madness

The CRB offices are shut down for a few days as we have all boarded the CRB chopper and headed to our favorite vacation spot, a bar, to watch basketball, drink and gamble through sunday or monday. 

In lieu of any waterski related nonsense, just hit play on this video and imagine the entire CRB staff drinking, losing money and acting like fools.

Till later.


Mar 17, 2010

Happy Get Drunk in Remembrance of Some Drunk Irish Guy

A few notes on the one day of the year everyone is encouraged to drink like the Irish.

1) This movie was some freaky shit. I could not eat my daily Lucky Charms for quite some time.

2) Shut the hell up about how much Irish you have in you. No one cares. That 1/16th Irish in you means exactly dick. Your short temper comes from the fact you are a spoiled brat, not the Irish hearatige. You don't hear people talking about the 1/8th French in them. Oh...well that could be because that part surrendered already...ok bad example.

3) Dont drink Bushmills on St. Patricks day. And yes you do need to drink whisky on this day. Green Bud Light does not count as irish booze

4) Stay the hell away from Mobile and their Leprechaun crack heads.

Mar 16, 2010


The CRB pool is back in action. This was a resounding success last year* and so we have brought it back.
*4 people joined...Rowboat is not good at picking games

Group Password is ODBF

Enter that and match your NCAA Basketball wits with the greatest minds from the homeless shelter at 4th and MLK ave.


Mar 15, 2010

Lots of Australian Peeps On Skis

Lots of people behind one boat and they are not building pyramids. They came up 2 skiers short of breaking the record for most skiers behind one boat. According to this site they are going to give it another go.

And alot of people behind one boat building pyramids.

Gotta love spandex...

Mar 10, 2010

Lake Trout Carry Out - Hump Day! Thats What She Said Edition

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.

The 2010 Rule book is now avalable on USAWS website, not that anyone but the most anal amoung us will read it.
anal = M3 and M4 slalom skiers (gonna get it for that one)

And speaking of USAWS, The new issue of The Water Skier came out and it looks like they heard that the CRB loves freestyle jumping as the put one of the best freestylers out there on the front cover. WOOT!

Bad ass pic of the jump and river from Moomba over at the pro ski tour site.

Club meeting
Members: We need a new boat!
Prez man: We do but we have no money!
Tresurer: Lets just open bank accounts and hope people just drop off money for us at the bank.

Here is my donation

Hot chicks in bikinis and Lingerie in... Lebanon? oh and some awful attempts at humor by The Sun. Guys? Really? not even close to funny.

Another article about the english chick skiing across the Channel. This time it has been delayed. I dont even care anymore*.
*never did just needed stuff to fill up this page.

As we posted earlier there was a wakeboard event in Abu Dhabi and it was rough. But 110,000 freaking people went and watched! No idea where as you see about 4 in the vids but maybe thats how they count in Abu Dhabi...1, 2, 457, 110,000. Oh and they had De La Soul for the party at the end...They are still around???

And another club has lost its site, this one was the Shermalot show ski team from bumble fuck Wisconsin. It sounds like they were kicked off their site because they could not prove that they were not doing any damage to a Dam that has no signs of damage. Yep, that reasoning makes about as much sense as this website does. Oh and I like the picture of a pyramid and some dude skiing with 15 ropes. That guy must weigh alot that he needs more then one rope... not funny? damn

And a music vid

Battle Star Galactica / Beastie Boys Sabatoge mash up has nothing to do with waterskiing and I dont care. That song makes me want to light my self on fire and run down the street Richard Prior style

Mar 8, 2010

The Role of Media: Part One of a Series - Moomba Reflections and Ruminations:

In the CRB offices we have been planning a multi-part series of posts* (redundant?) on the way in which both traditional media, "new" media (blogs) and new new media (twitter) effect us, interact with us and shape us.

In a general sports term, the downfall of traditional outlets, newspapers and magazines, and the rise in online journalism and TMZ'ishness of the sporting world makes for a very strange dicotomy of how to survive, how to advance and how to actually report what is going on.

From our perspective, on that level, its simple. Traditional news outlets and journalists sacrificed all their integrity by succumbing to the trappings of their positions and reveling in excess that came with succesful leagues. More on that later.

Within the waterski world, its WAY different.

There is no, nor has there ever been a need for real journalism. A central ethos on journalism is to suss out, seek and expose interesting stories, corruption, people in power, and hold them to the standards that are set up by the social norms.

In the waterski world, do we need that?

(ed note:  to clarify that point, there are all those things and probably a need to do so, but, given the relative economic size of the sport, do we need that sort of duality?)

Not really, we are more of a participatory endeavor. We are all in the same boat, so to speak, i.e, the success of waterskiing as a whole helps everyone, from companies, to magazines, to blogs, to the skiers, to the health of the sport, etc,etc.

We all work together to make something good.

Sure, their may be something out there that should be figured out and brought to life, maybe there are people within the world that should be exposed, or promoted, maybe there is a better way of doing something that should be explored.

Does what USA Waterski does actually help? Not sure.

Does Watarski Magazine help out? Not sure.

Does the CRB do anything worthwhile? Not sure.

Does anything that we do help? Maybe. Maybe not.

HOWEVER, what does help, is NOT having access to all the outlets that more mainstream sports do. Everyone tries to do the best that they do to get the word out about their particular event, sport, etc.

This is why we are slightly different then other main sports, our sport actually is better to access and thrives by utilizing the new tecnology. Blogs have helped, message boards have helped (skifly, showskiers, collegiate versions).

Twitter has been a boon for people interacting with each other and ways of learning about skiers. For example, the CRB follows a whole bunch of people, but, one of our favorite tweeters, Lauren Morgan, who we would never have heard of or cared about until twitter, just missed the cut-off in the Moomba Masters in the semi-finals and we all at the CRB were sort of bummed.

It was sort of like, "Thats Poochieski!!!". What are the odds that two years ago, faced with teh same situation, we would have actually known, nor cared, about that??  But we did!  It was great. 

Further along that idea is the lords work that moombamasters did tweeting the event.  Like, if you were on the twittersphere last night, there were alot of us actually "watching" the event via twitter.

Watching an event on twitter.  WHAT???

How amazing is that?  We were anxiosly awaiting every tweet to get an idea of what was happening.  It was amazing.

When Chris Parrish fell in the run-off against Aaron Larkin, we were shocked.  This is the time line, from newest working back:
Holy cow. Parrish misses 12, Aaron Larkin is Moomba Masters 2010 slalom champ in a drama-packed event. Twit Tips fail! 9:52 PM Mar 7th via TweetDeck

1@11.25 for Larkin, should be cake for Parrish but today, anything could happen. I could win! 9:50 PM Mar 7th via TweetDeck

Larkin off first, runs 12 to make it a challenge. 9:48 PM Mar 7th via TweetDeck

For non-slalom folk, they each have to start with last pass they completed - 12m. Place your bets, I'm on Parrish. Sorry Kiwis. 9:47 PM Mar 7th via TweetDeck

TIE!! Run-off for first, Parrish and Larkin. 9:38 PM Mar 7th via TweetDeck
When that last Tweet came through we actually were so on the edge of our seats we all sort of yelled and looked at each other in shock and all that.

It was crazy.

What a fun and crazy world it is that something as simple and seemingly silly as twitter can actually really bring the event to you, in 140 characters.

Whoever the person was behind the computer for the Moomba Masters was, Sir or Maam?  We would love to buy you a drink or two.  However you did whatever it was you did to really bring that tournament to all of us over here in the states, or wherever you are, the happenings at your tournament is amazing.

Thats really the only word we can think of.  Amazing.

Our world of skiing really isn't that huge, but, its spread out wide with mega-talent and news everywhere.  Its such a rich and interesting culture that we all endeavor ourselves to do, and twitter, the silly 140 character device, brought us all together.  The warm glow of computer monitor and we were all sort of there.

While some people say that technology drives a wedge into human interaction, and will be the downfall of traditional news and sports media, the reverse seems to maybe be true in our world.  An already spread out and divided world is brought closer via the same things that other people bemoan as troublesome.


*this post was supposed to be a joking look at the top three in each division of Moomba, but, it turned into the actual part one of this series.  Similar to the 'Just give me a gallon of gas' series that has no end.  Enjoy.

Wake Wars Abu Dhabi Style

You know what you get on Vid Monday? HELLA VIDS WOOOOOT

**ODBF is lazy***

But actually this is actual news!!! Not just my usual method of googling water skiing, then watching porn for awhile then finally posting something.

The Abu Dhabi Wake Wars was this past weekend and the conditions look less then ideal. But you know what I think? SHUT UP AND TAKE THE MONEY! We compete where the dollas are and if those dollas are in a flooded river and the scores go to hell because of it just deal with it. Our sport does not have millions flowing in from whereever so when there are a few bucks being offered everyone should just suck it up and grab the fat cash. I mean its dolla dolla bills y'all, paid in the form of cash* directly to your hand.

*hella oversized checks

Ladies First

Womens Finals Round Up from Abu Dhabi Wakestock from Tim Royle on Vimeo.

And the dudes. Very limited bitching on their part. Well played!!

Abu Dhabi Wakestock - Mens Wake Finals from Tim Royle on Vimeo.

And the mens winner kicked ass. Never heard of the dude, but then again I only check out Alliance Wakeboard Mag for the Reef Girl ads.

Vid Day Monday

What better way to show how awsome Moomba was for all of us* that made the trip then with a bit of baseball size hail?

*ODBF did not make the trip...just wishful thinking.

The CRB could send reporters places if you slackers would buy some of our CRB products!!!! oh...we dont have any? Well I guess we should correct that oversight then.


Footage from elsewhere in Melbourne. They got rocked, that rules!

ODBF flashback
Some of you remember the original name of this blog when we were the Green Boat House. Well I remember watching summer storms from that boat house and I have to say that Hail storms were completly full of awsomeness from in there. Bunch of kids enjoying a fun day swiming around and other such shenanagens when a storm would roll in. And we would all run in the boat house to watch the storm. Hail makes a kick ass sound on an old wooden on water boat house like that. Ahhhh memories....Oh to be young again...and to have working knees.

Mar 6, 2010

Spam Comments Suck

This happens to us from time to time, the CRB brand i-phones, or crbhones, are hooked up to the contact chevette, in order for us to stay directly in-tuned with website updates, comments, company wide emails and various other propaganda features that flow through the CRB mainframe on a day-to-day basis.

So, everytime something like this happens our phones will buzz in our pocket and we will get excited that something awesome is happening, like, did Marcus Brown go with a faux-dread-hawk?  Did Danielle Lloyd finally relent and succomb to our constant woo-ing?  Did the Ball of Spray chop our twitter feed off his main page for foul language?  again???

NO!  its a god damn spam email from some company in Cuba that has developed a pill that you take once a day and it makes your junk big enough to KNOCK DOWN TREES!!

Serious, that is an actual email we have recieved, in the subject line it said, "KNOCK DOWN TREES WITH YOUR GIANT COCK!"

Now, this brings up an interesting point.  Why would any man want that?  would that not be unwieldy?  You couldnt wear a normal pair of shorts, it would be difficult to sit down and for god sake, imagine driving around somewhere...for instance, you are dropping off some dry-cleaning, swinging by a walgreens to pick up birth control pills and some aquafresh, then swinging by the grocery store for some cheez-its and a 30-pack of Milwaukee's best.  Well, your mind wanders and bwoooooop, there is some movement.  Well, damnit!  You can't turn the steering wheel anymore!  In fact, if it could knock down trees, you have probably been rocketed into the back seat or even the trunk of your car because it smacked off the dashboard and you went flying.


Anyways, this issue has now found itself festering in our comments section of our blog.  Serious, poke around various posts and you will see paragraphs of russian speak, or links to canadian drug companies or other some non-sense.  Its awful.

We have a RSS feed that shows comments, so, we know when someone pops onto a post written 3 years ago and is bitching about our take on whatever we were bitching about back then.  Now its getting all cluttered with this shit.


We have instituted the dreaded Word Verification thing for all comments.  It sucks, we know.  But, listen, we do NOT need someone telling us about a sweet financial opportunity or whatever.  Its garbage and we arent sure, especially based on the terrible blogger platform, how else to combat this issue.

Sure, we could get Nola the dog to bark, bite and attack those spammers, but, the plane tickets to wherever they come from would become far to expensive and time consuming.  So, we are doing this.

With that being said, enjoy the damn weekend.  check in often to the moomba site for updates, follow the proper twitter accounts for instant updates and play your neighbor in a game of horse in your driveway, then when you win, tip over their garbage and do a burn-out in their lawn.

Winner reap the benifits of domination.

Mar 5, 2010

Lake Trout Carry Out - Late Night Edition

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.

This is a must read for any one out there that wants to drive for me. ITS NOT THAT HARD!! Just drive like you want to be pulled!

So in LA laws dont really apply to celebraties and it appears that in England laws dont really apply to waterskiers.

The Moomba Masters started with the juniors a couple days ago and the future for US pro skiing looks good. Those youngins can ski!

Moomba Masters results

The United Arab Emirets has hosted 3 event and show ski events in the past but recently they hosted a wakeboard tourny. and they have a housing development built on a man made island that looks like a palm tree. What does this tell us? The CRB should invest its millions in houses on the palm island.

Spy Boats has announced new dealers in Australia. Of course I would suggest putting pics of the boats in press releases, as you know its probably a good idea to show off your product. But what would I know? No really what would I know? I dont know.

Linda Giddens has a water ski school in Georgia. And also has a freaking awsome pic on the site.

I love some good 70s porn music and some great old school footing.

Mar 3, 2010

CRB Off Topic Video

These Guys make some awsome vids. Such as this one that took months to set up and about and about 3 minutes and 45 seconds to destroy.

METAL!! \m/

Mar 2, 2010

Kneeboard Tuesday

So I forgot video monday and none of you reminded me so today you get kneeboard wednesday. It was going to be wakeboard wednesday but then I found this vid that proves that Australians are an odd bunch. A whole DVD about kneeboarding...not only do you guys go crazy about showskiiers but then you put out stuff like this:

Yep that is...something...

And here is more of whatever that was.

I lied. Indstead that is what happens when you parents out there buy your kid a wakeboard boat. I guarentee you that you will end up with complete douchbags for kids that spend the day wasting your money on gas and making big ass waves and driving like jackasses all day.

Let that be a lesson to you

Mar 1, 2010

Kyle Improving

Kyle Eade posted on his Caringbridge site this weekend. This is the first time the words are straight from him. There is very promising news in this report. Sounds like this will be a very slow process, but the news is much more promising then it sounded initially.

"Progress is definitely slow but I have been told to be patient … it really
is just a waiting game right now. I am on my back looking at the ceiling for a
total of 6-8 weeks to allow time for the fractured vertebrae to heal and the
swelling and trauma to my neck and spinal chord to subside. There are numerous
positives already that I am pinning my hopes to … I have sensation everywhere
although very altered in places and strength and mobility is returning to my
arms and shoulders.

In an earlier update there was mention of a flicker
in my toes and while this was true, I was actually really just inducing a spasm
in my legs which the doctors weren’t as excited about as I was. However, I had a
good day yesterday when I definitely got a controlled contraction in my upper
right leg several times with the head doctor witnessing.​ It was the happiest I
have seen the doctor for awhile and he mentioned this was a very positive sign.
There were also flickers felt in my left hamstring and calf although nowhere
near as prominent as my right leg. Who knows exactly what this means for my
recovery but I cling to every piece of good news and use it to fuel my
determinati​on to make more progress each and every day no matter how small."

Kyl​e Eade

a.k.a “The Flying Kiwi”

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...