Hello out there, it is I, Martin Luther King Jr, speaking to you...the assembled masses though what I only can assume is the most widely read, most respected and best conduit of information available to me via this series of tubes that is known as the "Information Super Highway"
I have spend my life, and now my post-life, striving to achieve a world in which white man and black man can co-exist in perfect harmony, treating each other with the same kindness that the good lord teaches through one of his, many different, versions of the bible.
Heck, just the other day, we were all sitting around sharing a delicious Pizza from Sal's Heavenly Pizzeria, its right down the Addison St, past the bakery and just horizontally differentiated from the Neuron-Subprocess way station of the inner sanctum.
It was Mickey Mantle, Malcom X, some dude from Butte Montana, God, Dick Pope Jr, Geraldo Rivera's Shame and some six-year old beauty pageant contestant from Colorado...white, black, mustaches...we can all get along!
Anyways, you should seriously try their Ham, pineapple and eternal bliss Deep Dish....its to DIE for!!!
Sorry, that was a little heaven humor for ya.....tee hee!!
Ummm.... ... I forgot where I was....
OH RIGHT, telling my story.... Well, As you are all aware, I made big strides and accomplished an awful lot in my time on earth, I worked to achieve racial harmony in a respected way. Along my journey I met a bunch of wonderful people and made some great friends.
So, I come to you today, not to ask you to praise me on my day of recognition, but, to continue the good fight, keep working towards racial harmony, respect your brothers, treat your fellow man like you would like to be treated, always....
Last year around this time there was a wakeboard tourney in Miami, remember? Err...two years ago. Whatever, if you come to this site for up-to-date news then you are a fool. But you aren't.
So, with that in mind, we revisited the Boarditup! Miami website and it turns out they have a little Wakeboard Dictionary to help out those who are either A. Not 14 years old or B. Don't really care anyways.
Well, we figured we would help out a bit and add some pictures to make it a little easier to understand.
Boardslide: Sliding along a rail with the board perpendicular to it.
Butter: Instead of saying "The water is smooth." you could sound cool and sophisticated by saying "The water is butter."
Chargin' the wake: When a rider cuts towards the wake with as much power as he or she possesses. It's about going as big as possible.
50/50: Sliding along a rail with the board parallel to the line of the rail.
Fakie: Riding the board backward. Considered a more difficult riding position for a wakeboarder. Can also use the term switchstance.
Butter Slide: Rider approaches the wake, then hops the board and lands on the edge of the wake with the board sideways (perpendicular to the wake) and slides the board on top of the wake.
Shredding: Slang term for a rider performing perfect turns and flips.
Stoked: Describes riders when they are pumped up and confident.
Tantrum: A back flip over the wake.
Tweak: When a rider puts a little extra on a move ... makes a bigger arc, extends the board farther, etc.
Goofy-Footers: Boarders who ride right-foot forward.
So, there you go! Now, use your newfound wisdom to impress your friends, or old people, or that girl...GO OUT AND BE SOMEBODY!!!!
So since I have signed on to the ultra high paying job that is The CRB, I now have some disposible income. And what better way to spend that new found wealth then to purchase a villa in a waterski utopia. Of course you would have to move to New Zealand. Straight from their website
"Northbrook is a gated community, close to the centre of the growing North Canterbury town Rangiora, yet also only a 24 minute drive from Christchurch city.This community offers the best of security and safety within a luxurious setting. Everything you have always wanted is now available!"
OK, if you know what this stuff is, then, you have probably been drunk before. This is not the shit you drink for a special night with the Sig Other, this is the kinda shit you drink when you are WAAAAYY to classy for Mad Dog, but, not nearly monetarily well endowed enough to spring for a box of wine.
If you believe anything you read on www.skifly.com, then the U21 Worlds in San Bernardo, Chile was a rigged event with the US team receiving unfair practice time, drunken European coachs running around harassing young ladies and drop kicking skiers in the water, and just a complete waste of time because there is no U21 in IWSF.
Of course if you belive anything you read on skifly you probably deserve to be drop kicked by a drunken European.
This past weekend saw some fantastic sking by some of the top up and comers in the world all at one of the nicest sites in the world at the Under 21 World Waterski Championships. With the French Team grabbing the team Gold, the US team pulling down the Silver, and our chilly neighbors to the north taking the Bronze.
*Update* Here is a link to get directly to the thread in question on skifly. Seriously people, lighten the fuck up.