Jan 31, 2013

Hey! Moomba is only a month away!

Hey guys!  There is some cool waterskiing happening in a little bit!  YAY!!!!  Because winter sucks and we are basically just biding our time drinking beer and impatiently waiting for people to start skiing for realz again.

I suppose, it appears, officially some real tournament skiing starts February 1st in Chile for a Big Dawg (if you can't ski with the big dogs, stay on the porch), but, eff that noise because its all ready cold here in the U.S and I am not about to pay attention to something that proclaims that is CHILE!

No thank you, i want warmth and sun and bikinis and hot dudes being all studly.  hmm...what i meant was super hot girls, yeah, thats it.  TOTALLY BRO, CHICKS SO HOT, TOTALLY SMASH THAT.  *collar auto pops*  *brim on hat auto straightens* *starts playing lacrosse*

Anyways, the point is, we are sick of waiting.  Lets go now.  Everyone pile into the CRB Airplane and lets go to Australia right away and start Moomba NOW!

They would never know what hit them!  Its the perfect plan!

Just invade Australia with skis and wake boards and jumpers and go pros and, just for the hell of it, lets pack up a mid-70's hyrdodyne and kick ass.

Thats just a silly pipe dream, no one has a mid-70's Hydrodyne, this is a silly plan.

Basically, the moral of the story is:

I miss waterskiing.  I hate winter.

Jan 29, 2013

Everyone Should Have A Cabin (25 pics)

As I posted last week I WANT A CABIN.  So everyone should send $100 to the me at the CRB offices, I will start a fund called "ODBF cabin fund, a cabin for a winner and not for any of you chumps".  I expect the money to start arriving this week, man I am going to be so rich!

Lots more sweet cabin pics after the jump.

Jan 28, 2013

Vid Day Monday

Kevin Jack did a series of trick ski instructional vids a couple years ago.  They are pretty good and worth watching if you are working on adding a few new tricks to your run.  I on the other hand prefer the back flip to face move.  It may not score as well as a flip, but the style points more than make up for it.

Vid Day Monday

A few years ago I worked at a ski school where we would take all of the students to a go cart track that had an arcade.  In this arcade there was a waterski game, this game was awful.  It is quite clear that video game designers have no idea what waterskiing actually is.  Unless I am mistaken and skiers actually pick their boat drivers based on the drivers hatred for all things waterskiing or perhaps it is the drivers homicidal tendencies. But whatever the reason, the ski game was garbage, so naturally I played it every chance I got.  I sucked at it, fucking awful game.  grumble grumble

Well here is a review of two more waterski games, these look to be from the 80s, and look equally terrible.  I want to play them both for hours and hours.  If I can find them both I may just quit my job and play them until the bank comes and takes my house and kicks me out.  They look that awful.

Jan 23, 2013

Wakeboard Wednesday

Here is proof that water sports are good not only for your soul but for your body as well.  As this quote from the video description shows.
This guy has been dropping pounds and progressing quickly since he came onto the wakeboard scene, and has managed to make a lot of commotion in the NC wake community.
As video game usage became more and more widespread so did our pants, the US has become a country of fat and lazy people, so whenever you see someone getting out themselves it warms the heart.  Get off the couch, get out of the house and do something.  I don't really care what that something is, be it wakeboarding, slaloming, show skiing, or just hiking in the woods, get out and do it.  Be like Matt "Hotsauce" Schrier and do something about those 40" waist paints you have on.

Now I just need to take my own advice...
/Eats entire rack of ribs
/drinks 12 pack of Mountain Creek

Hexagon 2012: Matt "Hotsauce" Schrier from Arundel Media on Vimeo.

Jan 21, 2013

Vid Day Monday - Pets (18 pics 2 gifs 1 vid)

The awesome animals continue after the jump.

Vid Day Monday

These vids are from Whitefish Mountain Resort in Montana.  I skied there a few years back, its one of the best mountains to ski.  This runs are just as big and challanging as anything you will find in Colorado but about 1/4 the people.

Jan 18, 2013

Enjoying Nature to the Extreme (4 pics 2 vids)

These two guys decided they wanted to live above the arctic circle for 9 months and snowboard, hike, and surf...yes SURF, while building a cabin out of just things they found around them.  They used driftwood they found on the shore, rocks from the mountain and junk they found on land to build a tiny cabin that was their home for 9 months.  Some people are just way cooler (or is it crazier) then any of us will ever be.

Dick Proenneke decided the hustle and bustle of the modern world (1960s being modern) was to much for him, so instead of living in a city he trekked up to Alaska, took a float plane flight to a empty land called Twin Lakes Alaska and set about building a cabin and being a general bad ass.  He lived there for 31 years, until he was 82 and finally had to come back to the modern world and lived his final few years with his brother, he passed away at 86 in 2003.  

For the past few years I have dreamed of building a cabin on a large tract of land as a place to get away from this god damned desk once in awhile.  Get out in the wilderness and enjoy this world.  I would of course have to have a lake somewhere on the property because F not being able to ski!  Now in no way to I want to live above the arctic circle or by myself in Alaska, but getting out of the city, at least a few hundred miles away is what I crave.

I have never been able to understand how people do not go crazy living in big cities and never leaving them.  People that live their whole lives in a city, never leaving to enjoy the freedom of nature from time to time must have something wrong with their heads.

Many of the cool cabin pics and the stories from above come from this site.  If you are looking for a good way to not be productive at work check it out, it might just put you in the mindset to start saving for a piece of land to build a cabin on of your own.  

First Female Double Flip

Amber Wing became the first women to ever throw a double flip on the wakeboard when she threw one at Cable Wake Park Penrith in Australia.

Jan 15, 2013

Lets Go Footin' (15 pics 1 gif)


Thanks to Danny Smylie for some of these pics today.  Danny is in the first pic doing a back deep with no wetsuit, very ballsy move!  Check out more of Danny's bad ass pics here.  

Lots more sweet barefooting after the jump.

Jan 14, 2013

Vid Day Monday

Brian Kinney took this crash at the Western Regionals.

One of the advantages of being a crappy jumper is when I go out the front it does not hurt anywhere near as bad as this kind of fall.  So yea...I win...Go ODBF jumping skills.

Vid Day Monday

What does Game Of Thrones have to do with water skiing?  Nothing.  But I like the show and its to cold to ski right now, so fuck it, here is some Tyrion Lannister being awesome.

Jan 11, 2013

Welcome to CRB Lakes

Site of CRB Lakes.  Squish!

Why, hello there fellow waterskier, how are you doing today?  Great, thats fantastic, welcome to CRB Lakes, the newest offering from CRB LLC INC LOL.

You may recognize this place as what used to be Swiss Ski School, but, back in January of 2013 they decided to sell and CRB, as they are won't to do, decided to add to their portfolio and acquired the site.

You may have seen the email back in January from Waterski Magazine when Swiss Ski School was initially offered for sale, they said:
 The water-ski school operates on 4 man-made ski lakes and one natural lake. Under the current operational structure, the ski school averages 10,000 rides per year. In addition to water ski activities, Swiss Ski School offers a unique platform that allows for integration of related activities and income streams. Additional assets include fully functioning pro-shop, office/reception building, 10 housing units with bath, and a dome structure with a commercial kitchen and common area for meals/gatherings.
This really intrigued the minds behind the scenes at CRB HQ, as they strongly encourage all sorts of integration into the paradigm of social media strategy buzzwords and various aristocratic ventures to leverage the unique business environment in which they can pursue increased efficiency matrix.

Now, of course there have been a few changes on site, most notably you can see the dome structure which was referenced above, but, i am talking to you in person, so above makes no sense.  Rather, the dome structure that i referenced before has been removed and replaced with new building that we feel more represents the clientele that we are after.

So, it has been replaced with a full margarita bar / skeet shooting range.  While that may seem like a strange combination, vertically leveraging more vague business buzzwords with our core competency it was determined that we could effectively promote market penetration whilst getting drunk and shooting guns.

The interior decoration is of course waterski themed and there is a full slalom course hanging from the ceiling, just for the added ambiance, and something unique to this location is that have a tequila distillery on the roof which then drips into the various buoy balls, which then, in this climate, tend to perspire out of the balls, which are located right by the windows, and the walls.

Hence the name of the establishment, "Skeet Skeet Motherfucker Bar and Grill"

If you keep reading in your pamphlet that we probably gave you when you arrived here and/or we just gave you now you can see that:
The property for sale includes 2 ski-lakes and totals approximately 32 acres with buildings, amenities and improvements. Dome building (1800 sq. ft.) with large outdoor deck), two dome structures with ten housing units for short term rentals, Pro-Shop (ski related equipment & rentals), tennis court, swimming pool, soccer field, and a maintenance shed.
So, the dome building that is referenced is the Skeet Skeet bar, the various cabins/housing units are now utilized in a slightly different manner, both for housing our skiers but also we have done a bit of rejiggering the schedule to allow for shorter stays as well as sales of some of the homes for full time residence.

Also, of course the pro-shop has been updated with new equipment, featuring all the best equipment from manufactures such as Carbonworx, Kidder, Skurfer and Wavelength.  Its really on the cutting edge, getting into that .com game with a www.website to allow for online ordering, scheduling, nacho delivery services.

It is not uncommon to see various celebrity types from the world of stage and screen coming by CRB Lakes to enjoy a leisurely game of tennis or swimming or soccer or white water rafting...did i mention that we replaced lake Caroline with a white water river that connects to the Colorado river?

Haha, boy, was that an adventure with the local government, rerouting a river from 1/2 way across the country just so we could white water raft here in the middle of Florida   It took a while to convince them that this was a good idea, but, real forward thinkers in this country just get beaten down by the man, but we fought through it all and were able to make it happen.

Oh!  Hey there little guy, *grabs nacho out of gigantic sombrero worn by a midget*  *dips into nacho cheese*  So, one of the things that we had to bring with us from a previous venture was the midgets wearing sombreros full of delicious nachos walking around at all hours of the day.

As a professional athlete / waterskier proper nutrition is vital to the ongoing success of our athletes.  Thats why we have at our employ a stable full of these little guys with sombreros FULL of nutritious nachos and all the various toppings, from nacho cheese, to salsa, to mint chip ice cream (don't laugh) to black beans.

Also, you will notice his back pack that he is wearing, it is two sided, one side is full of gatorade and the other is full of SKEET SKEET tequila, this way, depending on the cycle of the training regime, our athletes can get a nutritious snack, get hydradted properly then down a few shots of tequila to help them stay limber on the water.

Its really a fool proof plan and most likely will be adopted by all NFL teams in the near future.

So, we have reached your bungalo, yep, here it is, 10B, this is a real nice one.  We have set you up nice, fresh sheets, a hammock in the shower, really first class type shit going on here.  It is a bit late in the day, almost 6, so, why don't you freshen up, unpack, and meet us all at the "Oregon Trail Steak House" which is on the south end of Lake Denise, our chef there is fantastic, its sort of a Brazilian type of place and no one yet has got dysentery.  We actually have a special performance tonight from the Carl Roberge Band, they are quite good.  Lots of classic rock covers, but, with a techno/dubstep vibe to it.  You have never heard Foghats "Slow Ride" done in dubstep while tripping on acid have you??  Your in for a treat!!

What do you think of CRB Lakes??


Jan 9, 2013

Wakeboard Wednesday

When its cold out you have to make due with what you have.  If all you have is a PWC, a wakeboard and an iceberg then that is what you have to use.  Why build a rail when there are icebergs floating all over the north Atlantic, just ask the captain of the Titanic.

Jan 7, 2013

Cuz Footballs is Slippery

What I would give to see this happen again.

The BCS National title game is tonight.  Notre Dame is undefeated and Alabama has one loss...Bamas record will not be adding another digit in the loss column tonight.  In no way did I want to see Alabama win another national title but the assholes at Oregon and Kansas State decided to suck it up late in the season thus giving us the Fighting Irish vs the Crimson Tide.  Is it possible for both teams to lose?  At least according to the pics here both schools have hot girls...so that is a plus...  I am going to root for ND and drink about a gallon of Makers Mark to make the sorrows brought on by my favorite team being a bunch of ass hats this year go away.   

Vid Day Monday

Its cold outside and I like being on skis, even if those skis are made by Rossignol instead of Radar.

Vid Day Monday

It would appear that movies showing women wearing skirts and knee high boots kicking ass Tae Kwon Do style are more accurate then we previously thought. So if you see a girl wearing a leather skirt and knee high boots we suggest running away as fast as possible.

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...