Aug 28, 2008

Love me some southern belles

After a short hiatus the Master Craft pro tour is coming back this weekend down in the good ol' boy land of Charleston South Carolina, the birth place of the confederacy and the land of sweet southern belles.

And this time around Tadd and the crew are not just bringing us sweet slalom action, they are letting the boys bust out their long boards. And this event is bringing the excitment of the season championships as well.

Right now we have Karina Nowlen who has been kicking ass and taking names all season leading in womens slalom. JB leading in mens slalom but hot on his heels we've got the rook Cale Burdik, who has proved that not only can he swerve it up with the college kids, but he can take on the big dogs as well.

And then the big surprise of the year, Ryan Dodd who took down the first Jump event of the year and was newly crowned the king of the London Night Jump.

Nice entorage for a king!

Can Dodd hold off the Nightmare? or will has Freddy been dethrowned by a canuck?

All of the action during the day will be nothing compared to the jump finals that will tear up the Charlston night.

CRB Off-Topic - Rowboat Wonders

The founder of this here site has set sail from our midst, a packed cooler and cowboy hat in tow. Occasionally, the Rowboat will affix a empty can tied to a rope and communicate back to the CRB HQ with various updates and thoughts. Today is one of those days.

Its been a little bit since I paddled away from the CRB, but, something, a mystical force it could be, or possibly a star is out of alignment, or the powers of light have struck me in the most unusual way.

Either way, I said I would check in from time to time, and well, here I am.

However, today's topic is not very deep or even that interesting. The rowboat happened to paddle into an oasis that had a glowing box on the wall with moving pictures in it. On said screen was a giant green field with full grown men in short shorts running around and kicking a ball all over the place.

What is this sport? They called it "soccer", which I think is a latin term that refers to the lack of testicles. Granted, there was a cranky navel officer in the next boat slip who was six boones farms deep, so, take his definition of Soccer with a grain of salt.

So, the point is this. There is this thing called the "UEFA Champions League" where all the best soccer teams in not-America play soccer against each other in some form of group/tournament play.

Really, it doesn't make any sense. Best I can tell there are like 8 billion teams, but, only a few, like Real Madrid, and Manchester United, and Chelsea are any good. the rest are a bunch of hobos and drug users that were picked off the street or out of a local wal-mart and given some fancy shirt and some boots (isn't that soccer code for shoes?)

Now, a few years ago The Sports Guy from ESPN.Com did a thing where he asked people to help him pick a team to root for. Well, the CRB is sort of looking for that too.

If anyone can explain what the hell the champions league is and whom we should be rooting for or paying attention, well, that would be great.

HARK!!! some clarification allready!

Group A
Chelsea (ENG)
AS Roma (ITA)
Bordeaux (FRA)
CFR 1907 Cluj (ROU)

Group B
Internazionale (ITA)
Werder Bremen (GER)
Panathinaikos (GRE)
Anorthosis Famagusta (CYP)

Group C
FC Barcelona (ESP)
Sporting Lisbon (POR)
FC Basel (SUI)
Shakhtar Donetsk (UKR)

Group D
Liverpool (ENG)
PSV Eindhoven (NED)
Marseille (FRA)
Atlético Madrid (ESP)

Group E
Manchester United (ENG)
Villarreal (ESP)
Celtic (SCO)
Aalborg BK (DEN)

Group F
Olympique Lyonnais (FRA)
Bayern Munich (GER)
Steaua Bucharest (ROU)
Fiorentina (ITA)

Group G
Arsenal (ENG)
FC Porto (POR)
Fenerbahce (TUR)
Dynamo Kiev (UKR)

Group H
Real Madrid (ESP)
Juventus (ITA)
Zenit St. Petersburg (RUS)
BATE Borisov (BLR)

So, those are all the teams and everything. Some have cool names like Arsenal and Dynamo Kiev and Shakhtar Donetsk. Is soccer something worth watching or paying attention too? Everyone in the world says its the awesome, or radder then then sex or something. I mean, you don't see riots and ski tournaments do you?

So, for the people out there in CRB land, whats a lonely Rowboater to do? Give in to the surly sailer man? or venture out and explore this new sport?

Hell hath wait...hell is pissed at Janesville.

A new CRBer?

We had an anonomous article submitted to us from a person who went by the name "Canoe". Drive-by posting or new CRB contributor. Keep an open eye out, we have some new people joining our Rowboat in the near future. Is this a harbinger of things to come, or simply a tale woven from a insane rambling fool. Either are some typed words.

It seems that hell itself a bit peeved this year at the Janesville Show Ski Team...not only did mother nature put a medieval bitch slap on their mugs, but, now, so has the NSSA.
"The National Show Ski Association has announced that the 2009 Division 1 Show Ski National Championships, the 35th annual event, will be held Aug. 7-9 in Loves Park, Ill."
Ouch. for those of you who happened to be in attendance at the show ski national tournament, yes, the one with all the tights, you witnessed a little bit of a sympathy ploy that came from the team that lost out to the ability to host the national tournament this year.

Well, karma can smite you with a cruel backhand. Loves Park, Ill, has been awarded the 2009 National Show Ski Tournament, which...if you know...was another of the, somewhere around 10 or so, ski team sites that were also underwater due to the their flooding in the Mid-West.
So be it.

No one complained, everyone understood the problems that come with our sport and the cruel way in which mother nature can mess with your life. One needs to look no further then the Tommy Bartlett Ski Show, because, you know...their fucking lake was washed away, their lively hood for the foreseeable future in peril, and they didn't complain, they simply pulled their pants up, slapped on some shit kickers and kept the show going. no whining, no complaining, just ate their shit like men.

There is a lesson here for all, for every waterskiier out there. Quit bitching. Half the people on the skifly chat board can learn this lesson. No complaining without solutions, no anonymous bitching. Just action, results and effort. The foundation for a prosperous future.

Aug 26, 2008

Simple sports?

So I was out in the back yard having a few beerz and hitting the shuttle cock around
/haha, he said cock
When i relized that this was just way to difficult of a sport and I needed to pick a new one. So I gave skateboarding a go...

Wait, the board is on wheels???

shit thats to hard for me.

So i guess Ill have to look an easier sport on ESPN's Sport difficulty ranking list.

Badmittion was just to hard all the way up there at #30 and skateboarding is to hard at #37. Hmm what do pick. I thought about giving Baseball a go, but that must be impossible all the way up there at #9, I bet those guys are all in crazy good shape.

Oh I know what sport Ill do, WATERSKIING. I mean that must be the easiest sport there is. Its just above Ping Pong, I mean, i can do that , thats easy.

Aug 20, 2008

I swear we will post another article...someday

1st ever 720 on an air chair... hell i do 720s on my vid chair while playing Madden '08 all the time. Thats childs play...


Im dizzy...
/falls off vid chair
//scores 80 year TD

Aug 15, 2008

Back Breaker

someone better sign on to write for us, or the Minion needs to get out of that Thai prison and start writing again.

I would suggest a good insurance company and a solid back brace.

Aug 14, 2008

Thats alot of flips

Well now that the Rowboat Abides has signed off I can post all the vids I want and not get hassled for it.

So why not go with what is perhaps the most difficult freestyle jump act ever performed.

Aug 13, 2008

Setting Sail

It is with a frowny face that I, the Rowboat, bids farewell to the website inspired by my natural born name.

A long time ago, like, three years, we (I) started this site as a natural extension of a previous site that nobody but myself and some random weirdo's knew about. It was silly really, for those in the know, what I really wanted to do was to have a place to vent about stupid things and have a creative outlet for my imagination.

I hope that everyone continues to visit our site, now in the hands of the ODBF and the Minion. They will certainly continue on the traditions...or i suppose actually one tradition, the CRB award for collegiate nationals top "something".

We, as a site, have made some fun friends along that way, and those of you who happen to continue to view our site and comment and send emails and the like, I can only say thanks. I love this sport, in all aspects, it this site has become something way more then I expected.

I mean, Jesus, we got mentioned on the website, are you kidding?

Tadd from the webcaster and Mastercraft protour gave us a shoutout during one of the tournaments, real waterskiiers like Rykert and Horton have given us love. Its amazing.

Down the road, maybe, I will give out my real name, but, for those in the know, you know why I am leaving this site. I am going to be taking a job within the waterski world on a much more professional level and certainly cannot continue to give my opinions and criticize things when I am becoming part of the machine that I criticize anyways.

So, in extension, I am actually stepping up to the plate and going to become more of a solution then a bitchy problem.

I really want to go back over the last three years and talk about the posts that matter, why I wrote some, the personal experiences that inspired them, the things that contributed to our success, but, thats for the lame.

This site has been a labor of love, something that I really enjoyed, it was inspired by my love for this sport and also some of the venom is from things that none of you should ever care about anyways.

The Rowboat hopes you enjoyed it. Our cooler is a little emptier today, I took some of the booze with me, as well as the cheez-its and smoked turkey slices, but, I need it for my journey that is in front of me. Needless to say, I am sad as hell. My journey is one that is taking me away from everything in the world that I love, to a place that is foreign to me and lord knows I am leaving behind my best friends ever.

So, thanks everyone. Hope that I will be able to check in from time to time and give updates as to what I am doing. But, until then....



//deep breath....


Aug 7, 2008

Now that is funny

For those of you who follow sports other then the waterski, and thats like everyone, you are probaly as fucking annoyed by the Favre felatio as we are at the CRB. Well, anyways, if you are in the know there is a wesbite called that is, a. funny as hell and b. if you really suck they rip your shit to shreds.

Anyways, here is their post today that sums up this Favre nonsense better then anyone else.
Is there anything more boring, in all of sports, than the Brett Favre saga?


Some candidates:

1. Watching the second quarter of an NBA preseason game in slow motion.
2. Watching NASCAR qualifying through your neighbor's window, using the wrong end of a pair of binoculars.
3. A press conference where the Minnesota Wild announce the hiring of a new assistant trainer, and the mics don't work.
4. Reading Peter King's thoughts on Starbucks.
5. SportsCenter. (N.B. may not count as "sports.")
Yep, pretty much. Does this relate to waterskiing? sure, i bet Favre has been on skis before.

Aug 6, 2008

Showski Nationals to be Streamed Live

The 2008 Indmar Show Ski National Championship will be broadcasted live on

Here is the webcast schedule:

Saturday - August 08th(Webcast Starts 9.20am CT)
• Chippewa Lake Water Ski Show Team – Central

• Mad City Ski Team – Wisconsin

• Muskego Water Bugs - Wisconsin

•Midwest Ski Otter Ski Club - MN

• Badgerland Water Ski Show Team -

• Lake City Skiers - Central

• Five Seasons Ski Team – Cedar Rapids,IA

• Webfooters Water Shows – Wisconsin

Sunday - August 10th(Webcast Starts 8.00am CT)
• Backwater Gamblers – Central

• Wonder Lake Water Ski Show Team – Central

• Rock Aqua Jays Ski Club – Wisconsin

• Little Crow Ski Club – New London, MN

• Waterhawks Ski Team – Waterloo, IA

• Beaverland Must Skies – Wisconsin

Wait a second. Saturday the 8th and Sunday the 10th? Holy shit we lost the 9th! What are we going to do? Really, individuals begin on Friday the 8th and team competition is on Saturday and Sunday. Make sure to check the CRB for our updates and commentary throughout the weekend. We will have some show ski agents in the field. If your there please come on the site and post what you think about the tournament, beer tent included.

Aug 1, 2008

Recomended Reading: Motorhead Messiah

We wanted to do a full/real post about this article and how it can or could and/or should relate to ski boats, instead, we are just going to pull a fun quote and mention the fact that this dude is freaking amazing with the shit he can do to motors, making them insanely efficient and incredibly powerful.

Johnathan Goodwin is a grease monkey type guy who has been messing with big trucks and ways of making them more efficent and has done some pretty amazing things with diesel engines, turbine motors, electrick motors, etc, etc.

Its fascinating.
"Conservatively," Goodwin muses, scratching his chin, "it'll get 60 miles to the gallon. With 2,000 foot-pounds of torque. You'll be able to smoke the tires. And it's going to be superefficient."

He laughs. "Think about it: a 5,000-pound vehicle that gets 60 miles to the gallon and does zero to 60 in five seconds!"
Wow. Its a lengthy article but it is incredible to read. Makes me want to soup up the Chevette into a monster diesel bad-ass.

For those of you who dig Neil Young like the CRB does, this is also the dude who is responsible for Neil's Linc Volt concept vehicle, where he is taking his 1959 Lincoln Continental Mark IV and converting it to fully-electrick "zero emmisions" kick ass ride.


Officer Buck gives this article: 11 Thumbs Up

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...