Dec 22, 2014

Vid Day Monday

Proper boating all over the place.




Dec 15, 2014

That Wave Is HUGE!

Look at me!  I'm a big ass wave!
Look at that!  That wave is gigantic, and there is a dude surfing it!  He is obviously Bodhi from Point Break...one would have to assume he just robbed a bank or something.  Read all about it at this particular website  link

Also, look at this video.

 

bruhhh

What would happen if you fell?  do you just die instantly?

looks fun though!

Vid Day Monday

Sounds interesting...tell me more.

Water Sport Channel 1 from focusflproductions on Vimeo.

Dec 1, 2014

Vid Day Monday

This has to be one of the hardest hits in college football history.

Also...keep your head up!

Nov 3, 2014

Vid Day Monday

Drone footage from the 2014 NCWSA Nationals filmed by Damian Sharmen.

I have been to this tournament a couple times in the past, no other tournament comes close to being as awesome as this event.  Not only is it fun to see skiers cheering on their teams, but they also cheer on their competitors.  Where else can you see some of the best skiers in the world competing for best in the US and cheering when a skier lands a ride over?

Someday we will hopefully get to the point where we can see a full list of scholarship teams battling it out for best in the country but for now we still see an imbalance with a few teams fully supported by their university and other teams that are unknown to the vast majority of their student bodies.  This does not take away from the experience in anyway though.  

2014 Collegiate Nationals from Damien Sharman on Vimeo.

Oct 16, 2014

2014 Collegiate Nationals Live

I see that again this year the Hope College Wrecking Crew has been kept out of nationals due to their overpowering dominance of the sport.  But, even though we can not see the magic that is the Wrecking Crew we can at least watch these other teams compete to be the second best in the country.

Sep 23, 2014

Celine Dion and Waterskiing

If you are of a certain age, you had to deal with a year...say 1998 ish, when this damn song would just not go away.  "My heart will go on" was everywhere and good lord would people not shut up about Titanic, which, as it turns out wasn't a 1/2 bad movie, but, gahhh...lets not talk about it anymore.  But, yet, here we are.


Then again, maybe we should be looking in the mirror, because, 1998 was not the best for music.  Just look at this list   WOOF

Shania Twain, Savage Garden, Third Eye Blind, Will Smiff....sheesh.  Of course, Tubthumping was that year, so, maybe its not a total loss.

ANYWAYS.

If we had known then, what we do now maybe we would have thought a little different about Celine..

Because, turns out, like most of us, she enjoys waterskiing!!

Lets fire up the way back machine and go to../twittle knobs / bleep blorp / 1985!





Yo! There is our girl at the 3:00 mark looking like a young Camille Duvall atacking that ramp!

Just imagine, 1985 would have made Celine about 17 or so years old.  If it wasn't for her pesky singing voice we could have had a world champ on our hands!  Celine Dion vs. Regina Jaquess compete, HEAD TO HEAD at this years LA NIGHT JAM!  WHOA.

Well, that would require a bit of bending the time space continum, but, we've seen back to the future and know all about flux capacitors, so, lets do the damn thing!

In the years in between, Celine made about 50 zillion dollars singing songs and one would think, maybe, she gave up the sport of waterskiing to drink tea and sing songs and swim around in piles of money like Scrooge McDuck.

But, NO, you are wrong sir!



Is that not the most generically white bread thing you have seen?? But thats our girl cruising around on a pair of skis and then, whatever, getting into a cage and being craned over onto a stage with astro turf. Because THATS WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN.

So, now that we have this knowledge, does that change anything about how you think of Celine Dion?

It sure does for us.  But, what say you Celine??


Damn Right!

Sep 9, 2014

Show Ski Worlds

This coming weekend is the 2nd show ski worlds tournament.  Somehow Janesville Wisconsin won the bid for the second time as well, winning out over a site in China and a different one in the US.  Somehow = half of the voters are current and former members of the show ski team from Janesville.......right...no conflict of interest at all...

The same teams that competed at the inaugural event 2 years ago are back again this time.  Australia, Belgium, Canada, China and the USA.

You can watch the webcast starting Saturday morning at 10am EST right HERE

And here are a few highlights from the last worlds.

Sep 8, 2014

Vid Day Monday

The record for most guys throwing a front flip off a standard size jump ramp at once is 7 completed by the Tampa Bay Show Ski Team at show ski nationals around 2000 or so.  The US show ski team practicing for the worlds tournament next weekend just tied that record.

7man front flip from Poser Inc. Productions on Vimeo.

Vid Day Monday

I blew out my knee when I was about 19 or so and remember thinking how much it sucked to sit on the shore and watch everyone else skiing.  As I sat there I saw a guy in a wheel chair and felt sorry for him that he would never be able to enjoy the feeling of riding on top of the water.  Later that year at a 3 event tournament I saw a blind guy slaloming and then saw a guy with 1 leg jump.  How wrong I was about what the barriers to skiing really were.  In the years since then I have been involved in several adaptive ski events and have seen many more.  If you have never been a part of one of these events you need to strap on your big kid swim suit and go track one down.  They are very fun to be a part of.

Sep 3, 2014

Wake Board Wednesday

Darin Shapiro's comeback to wake boarding after 9 years.  Cool vid.

Dude sticks a speedball and some line over tricks which tug at my trick skiers heart.

RESURGENCE from Sidewayz Films on Vimeo.

Sep 2, 2014

Vid Day Tuesday?

So we are a day late...it happens a lot around here.  Its possible we just had a week of booze cruising to celebrate the coming of labor day.  Its possible we misunderstood how labor day works...

But to make up for it we have a vid with some bad ass freestyle jumping, wakeboarding and a bit of back footing. The song in the vid is shit so we suggest pulling up something you like and playing that instead.

Seth Frase Summer 2014 from Seth Frase on Vimeo.

Aug 20, 2014

Midwest Night Fly

The Midwest Night Fly is this weekend at Creve Coeur Park in St Louis. I suggest you all hop online and get your plane tix to this event. We will wait...

...

...

...

ok, got em? Good

Now we also suggest you do not pick a hotel in Ferguson...just a helpful hint.





Aug 18, 2014

Vid Day Monday

Radar and the Wilson brothers have been putting out some great vids every Monday.  It is worth your time to go through and watch the older vids as well.

Minute Mondays - K.C. Running 39 at Radar with a Headcam from The Wilson Bros. on Vimeo.

Aug 7, 2014

Vid Day...Thursday? Sure

Around the boats or ATBs as most show skiers call them are a common act in shows and a fun way to screw around on the lake any day.  The Muskego WaterBugs have posted this video from a recent show of them doing a tandem or harnessed atb.  I have seen and been part of many multi person around the boats but never seen one done with two skiers harnessed together.

Aug 3, 2014

Malibu Open Recap-ish

Bro, your city got into my ski lake!  (credit @Biebert)
A waterski tournament, at its core, is a oddly dull affair.  Not that the skiing is bad, or the actual event is boring, its more of a visceral thing.

There is a certain monotony / rhythm to a ski tournament that does not lend it self always well to a, say, party type atmosphere.  Its more of a lifestyle event, then an event event.  If that makes sense.

The rhythmic consistency of skiers going up and down the lake, going a few feet further in a jump, getting a few more buoys, etc, is not the style that makes for a "must see" type situation, but, yet...if you know skiing at all and maybe even in passing know some of the skiers, the last say 45 minutes of the Malibu Open was as much see of an event as you can really have in this particular sport.

Shit will go DOWN!  (credit @mcclintocks)

Lets start, however at the beginning.  For those who don't know, the Malibu Open is a pro ski event held in Milwaukee, WI, at a lagoon on the shores of Lake Michigan, maybe....just maybe...its not the most perfect site, but, given what we all have to work with, we would venture a guess that Veterans Park in Milwaukee is the most scenic site that our sport has to offer.

Why?  You will not ever see (that we are aware of, other then maybe the Moomba which we haven't been to in person) see a picture of say, Freddy rocking a 237 foot jump against the backdrop of 30 floor tall buildings.

For those of you who have been to Moomba, is it similar?  We don't know, our CRBudget doesn't allow for that sort of expense.

But, and if rumors are true that this is the last year of Malibu in Milwaukee, that is very sad.  It is a wonderful site, a ski hungry state and the support of the local community.  We don't want to hear, oh, the county asked for more or any of the political non-sense, we allready know it all.  Its wrong.  So, we will move on.

FRIDAY:

There was a annoying as shit 45 minute or so rain shower that interrupted activities for a while, but, otherwise, it was a gorgeous afternoon to sit around and drink beers and watch waterskiing.

Our point earlier about the rhythmic arc of a ski tour was in full effect on friday, we were able to catch a bit of the early morning on webcast and the remainder of the day in person.  WHAT??? CRB IN PERSON AT A SKI EVENT?  yes, it happened and we drank beers and got to much sun.  It was GLORIOUS.  Besides, is there a LA Night Jam this year?

A ski tourney in a big city???  (credit @shembiebert)
Listen, and we have said this before, if you want to go to a ski event, anywhere, let us know.  We will gas up the Chevette and its all yours.

There was, also, a pretty decent crowd as well.  Not huge by any means, but, decent.  We would guess maybe 1/2?  1/3? of the people were just joggers or park go-ers that saw a bunch of rad shit going on and stopped down.

For those curious, Friday was ODBF and Dig Dug at the event, and ODBF had, we guess, met someone the night before and had to bail, leaving DIG DUG by themselves to specatate.

AND SPECTATE WE DID.

Oddly the most gratifying or interesting aspect was a crash by Damian Sharman crashed pretty hard, not injury hard, but, yard sale ish.  He broke his helmet and one of his skis.  The helmet part was sort of interesting, because he floated up after the crash and was looking around, and one would think he was knocked loopy, but, his helmet got (we think) spun around on his head and parts of it were floating around.

Eventually he found all the pieces and saw his ski was broken and we figured that was it.

NOPE.  Waterski people are god damn awesome.


He did not, in hollywood fashion, break out out a 200 some foot jump and advance, he passed on his jump.  But, the sportsmanship and camaraderie displayed were appreciated by us.

Other then that, it was a well done affair and Freddy just squeaked in with a low 190s jump and we all knew that bro was playing possum and nothing to worry about.

SATURDAY:

Again, rhythm and skiing went on.  Slalom is a tough sport to get super invested in, because you aren't "really" going head to head against someone, you are putting up a score and seeing if someone beats you.

As is the case with most tournaments, there isn't a big scoreboard to help you out and remember where people are and their scores.  But, really, you need a board to update scores instantly, otherwise you are just living the event, your are really just watching.

This is something that needs to be addressed as our sport moves forward...

     SIDE NOTE:

Tadd is a god damn miracle worker on the mic.  No idea how he does it, but, bro just talks and talks and talks and makes everything interesting and fun and great to listen to.  Either on web cast or in person, dude is really the voice of our sport.

For real...If it wasn't for him, we imagine that 50% of our interest would fade.  We loved the Tadd / Tony combo, but, Tadd on his own with various people chipping in to help, this weekend was Dano The Mano, to ok results.  Its not a jump "score" its a distance, but, otherwise your legit.

But, serious you guys, is it really a major event if Tadd isn't on the mic?  He really is good and from the CRB headquarters we salute you and the incredible work you do.

ANYWAYS!

The skiing, as it always is was great.  We watched in various degrees of in-personness.  Either on the webcast or actually physically there.  And, whomever runs the tournament needs to be commended for running THE SHIT OUT of this tournament.

It ran FAST.  KUDOS.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

lets get to the meet of things.

FREDDY VS. DODD

Everything else is wonderful and all the skiers are incredible and if you follow them on twitter or instagram or wherever, you know that they WORK their ass off to be good.

So, we don't want to discount their accomplishments, but, as much love as we have for Poochie, or Ellis, or Nate, Whitney or whomever, it really came down to the Titans of Jump...Freddy and Dodd.

We knew that Freddy wasn't and/or isn't a 193 jumper, this is a big tourney and dude is going to hulk up and kill it.

And, its strange to see him so early in the rundown of skiiers, "yo! thats Fred!?!?, what gives?"  "don't worry bro," says strangely evesdropping neighbor. "He will be ok"

Phew, with that off our chest, Freddy goes out in the finals and .....  passes??

Yeah...but, then.

BOOOOM

237!!!!

Done, shit is closed down kids its all over.

N O P E!!!!!!

Nor if Ryan Mother Fucking Dodd has anything to say about it.



I AM THE FATHER OF DRAGONS!!

You are not going to see this in Waterski Magazine, but, this, right here, is the head-to-head of our decade.

Freddy Vs. Dodd.  Science versus power, brains versus brawn, or is it vice versa???  Two bad ass jumpers that beat the shit out of a ski ramp like it owes them money.

THIS IS WHAT MAKES A SKI TOURNAMENT!!!!!

This is the last 45 minutes of the Malibu Open, god damn excitement!!

But, its not over!

Slalom is back on the water!

"wait," you say. "you are slalom haters, and think its boring"

NOT AT ALL!

The rhythm of a slalom event is dull.  A head to head with great skiiers give you ALL THE BONERS!!  #manyboners

Nate Smith Vs. KC Wilson, Whitney Vs. April, etc, etc, etc.

Look, you know how this all played out, we aren't a news org...but, yo...shit was tight.  It was, serious, put down the beer, stop talking to the pretty girl and clapclapclapclap.  It was exciting as hell.  and GOD DAMN Nate Smith can slalom like a BOSS.

Head to head, bracket style skiing is the tits y'all.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

If this is the last year of the Malibu in Milwaukee.  Lets give hella thanks for like 5 years of great skiing and a great location and other then LA Night Jam the most fun we have had at a ski event in something we weren't competing in.

As a sport, events like this and the location they are at, need to be nurtured and expanded on.  A Major-ish city, a prime location and support from the community.

We need to get our sport into the public eye and get people invested, invited and intrigued by our sport.
We have a beautiful sport, its sexy, its hard, its painful, but, ultimatly, its fucking awesome.

Lets not push it to secluded locations were only the skiers are present, we...and by we I mean y'all, are the best this sport has ever offered and y'all should be taken care of.

Its the rest of us that help run/promote/organize these events that need to work harder to both A. get you rich and B. get our sport in front of ALL the eyeballs.

After this weekend we are more excited for what we can do as a sport moving forward then ever before.

Our sport is great and full of great people who work hard, lets make it become something huge!!!!



Aug 1, 2014

Malibu Open

The Malibu Open is rocking today in Milwaukee WI.  The webcast is rocking at your office desk.  Click the Link!

Jul 25, 2014

Freestyle Friday

This is the full freestyle jump competition that the video of Dan Olson came from.  At the end Matt May does a couple jumps as well.  Dude still has it.

Jul 22, 2014

A Bit of Freestyle

Freestyle jumping was mostly dead for years after the old pro tour died off, but it seems to be making a bit of a comeback.  Here is Dan Olson doing a front half and a ole mobe.  He is coming in "Texas style" or with the boat on the left side of the ramp.

Dan Olson at Wisconsin State Freestyle Jumping from Poser Inc. Productions on Vimeo.

Jul 21, 2014

Jul 9, 2014

Jeff Schmick

Arguably the best show skier and one of the best freestyle jumpers in our sport lost his fight with cancer yesterday.  Here are a couple vids of his prime.



Time to go skiing




Lots more ski pics after the jump

Jul 7, 2014

Greeky Tricky

I have no idea what these guys are saying, but I like that Redbull is supporting Trick skiers now. Very cool.

Jun 24, 2014

Getting Tricky

So...we have been a bit slammed with the real world recently, sorry for the lack of posts.  To make up for it here is a 14 year old kid, Lindsay Bordier, dominating the hell out of the trick ski.  She is a beast on this thing.

Also, sorry for the music in this vid, we suggest turning off the volume or possibly just lighting your speakers on fire before they are infected with this song.  If you have already played it...well sorry, but the skiing is bad ass!




Updated!  mute the right video and press play on both...your probably going to be pregnant soon.

YouTube Doubler

Jun 10, 2014

Getting Tricky

So we are a little slow this time of year, its a bit hectic around the CRB World Headquarters.  But Dylan Schaffer broke Jimmy Siemers NCWSA record.  It would seem that at some point I missed the fact that the 6 flip rule was dropped from NCWSA tournaments.  Dylan's run shows he is the king of flips right now, dude is a machine, averaging 2.22 seconds per flip and recovery.



For reference here is Jimmy's run, the video is a bit shitty but worth a watch. It starts with Regina's record trick run followed by Jimmy's run.

Jun 4, 2014

Wake Board Wednesday

This vid is awesome, ski boarding looks...well...stupid.  But this is the precursor to wake boards and the vid itself is great.

Jun 2, 2014

Vid Day Monday

This is back from the days when Waterskiing was on ESPN...ahh the good old days of purple and teal wetsuits and big hair.

May 28, 2014

Wake Board Wednesday

This kid is a pretty damn good wakeboarder and is only 10 years old...  As long as he does not blow out his knees or become a total d-bag (like most pro.../holds tongue) he will be a power on the scene soon.

May 21, 2014

Waterski Magazine You Have My Eyeballs!


This, like many of you, was an email we just received from waterski mag where you can win gift cards if you tell them about what sort of electronics you have in your rig.

We like electronics!  Electronics are fun and mystical and work most of the time!!

Then you forget to put the cover on your boat, just one time, and shit goes haywire!

We are looking at you, and you know who you are.

"I don't know why the stereo doesn't work...or the sub, it was fine when i was done with the boat"

Anyways, we are going to enter this survey raffle thing and we are going to win this gift card...so, this summer on the lake if you see a ski boat with a FLAT SCREEN TV in place of a windsheild, you know thats ours.

/$100 gift card spent on cat toys and asian undergarments

May 16, 2014

Erika Lang is a Pretty Good Trick Skier

Erika Lang decided that she was not happy with having only 1 world record so she decided to break it again.  This girl is a machine on the water, we will see many more records from her.  If she would head over to the ODBF Trick Ski School she would be even better.  My SS and O are the best in the business.

May 15, 2014

Wakeboarding with Dolphins

A year and a half ago i was able to swim with a wild dolphin, that was an experience I will never forget.  They are very smart and playful and seem to be very inquisitive.  The woman wakeboarding in this vid will probably never forget this experience either, unless of course she fell and the dolphins attacked and ate her.  Always possible...

May 12, 2014

Vid Day Monday

Ski racing is the one water ski discipline that I never have or will participate in. Mostly because I have no interest in tearing apart my shoulder and ending up with a dead arm.  And all of the reasons shown in this vid have reinforced my plans to never try this out.

We go back to the prime of pro waterskiing with a great vid from a pro tour stop in Shreveport.  Not sure what year this is from, but there are 5 great jumpers and 2 huge crashes.  You have to love the colors and the sponsors, Ski Brendella and Body Glove on Carl's helmet...hell yea.

May 7, 2014

Disney Is Filling Our Childrens Minds With Garbage!

Typical Disney Ideology of Watereskiing

DATELINE MAY 7TH 2014

Be warned, while the internet is filled with juvenile comedy, sophomoric actions and  hedonistic pornagraphy, the CRB Research Crew (CRBRC) may have uncovered the worst perpetrator of all in a seemingly innocent video from Disney.

OH, Disney, you say, they fill our childs heads with wonder and tolerance and virtues principles.

HOG WASH.

In a you tube dot come video entitled, "Waterski Hit", if you can stand to watch it for more then 30 seconds without lighting your computer on fire and throwing it into the gaping mouth of hell where this video can burn for eternity with the rest of the sodomites, you will find a video CHOCK FULL of despicable imagry that no one should be forced to see.


Here we see what Disney believes to be the typical female form.

That is not something that women should strive for, it is a physical impossibility and will ruin any child's sense of self-worth.  Shame on Disney for perpetuating the myth that men only find women desirable if they have these unrealistic dimensions.  Just look at those thighs, there is no way that is either A. Healthy or B. be able to find properly fitting garmets.


This is incredibly dangerous!  It is illegal and could lead to serious injury.  You never operate a pleasure craft in such close proximity to other people.  This will obviously lead to children growing up believing it is ok to blatantly disregard all proper social and boating norms, not only that, but, the complete disrespect of our fine law enforcement officers.


Finally, and most shocking, is Disney's PRO-AQUATIC LIFE stance.  Any reasonable person knows that fish are gross and you should not be waterskiing anywhere there is aquatic animals.  They are to be Destroyed!

No body of water should have any living creature in it.  Only human beings should be allowed to inhabit the water.  THIS IS GODS WORD FROM ON HIGH.

Gross fish and slimey things need to be Banished To Hell!

Watch this abomination from Disney if you dare.  But be warned, its graphic, titular and obscene.

Shame on you Disney, Shame.

Roll Tide

 

May 5, 2014

Vid Day Monday

With Freddy booting a 250 last week we felt that more Freddy was the only way to go today.  So here is a vid of Freddy booting 200s on 3/4 cuts.  Dude is a beast.

May 2, 2014

Freddy Is Still The King

It has been 6 years since freddy went 247 and set the current world record.  Well yesterday as he sat on the shore of the lake and watched the solid head wind coming down the lake he decided it was time we had a more round number as the world jump record.  So he went and booted this pending world record 250 foot monster.

May 1, 2014

A Waterski Cowboy Rides Into Town - Part ONE

Smells Like Someones Trick Release Didn't Release
(horse) clop.  clop.  clop,  clop

(cowboy) ...

(horse) clop.  clop.  clop.  clop

(cowboy) ....

(horse) clop. clop....clippity clop...clop. clop

(cowboy) whoa boy, easy on the clippity.  This velvet chafes an ass like you wouldn't believe

(horse) clop.  clop.  clop.

(horse) /chafes just a little

(cowboy) /puts out pall mall on horse

(horse) clop. clop.  clop.

The Gem Salon and Waterski Ranch

(cowboy) I see the gem salon and waterski ranch off in the hither.

(cowboy) /kicks horse

(horse) lol.

(horse) clop.  clop.  clop.  clop,

(cowboy) /really kicks horse hard

(horse)  /stops

(cowboy) ....

(horse)  ....

(cowboy) sigh.  /feeds horse a chicken burrito

(horse) /fucking takes off down the trail

(cowboy/horse) /arrive at The Gem

(cowboy) /ties up horse  / walks into saloon

(cowboy) /saddles up to bar

(al swearengen) /

(cowboy) yeah, thats what I am hear for.  Run some buoys.

(al swearengen) cocksucka

(cowboy) There is no need for that, we are hear for the sole intent to run some buoys and drink whiskey

(al swearengen) why didn't you say so in the first place, here have a drink

(al swearengen) /pours SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

(al swearengen) #turnt

(cowboy) so, can you set me up with a room for a week and a few whores and some whiskey?

(al swearengen)

(horse) /does wake 540 without saddle falling off

(cowboy) /adjust cowboy hat so it has a flat brim

(cowboy) /tags instagram posts #TMT #CB

(cowboy) /looks like a dork

(horse) NEIGH!

(cowboy) your right, sorry.

(al swearengen) /wistful

(al swearengen) Don't I yearn for the days when a draw across the throat made fucking resolution.

******EVERYONE TURNS IN FOR THE NIGHT********

*****NOW ITS MORNING, NOTHING HAPPENED OVERNIGHT*****

even the picture makes us tired
(cowboy) /rolls cigarette

(horse) /chills

(al swearengen) /kills a hooker...probably....then drinks coffee

(cowboy) /walks down to the starting dock

(cowboy) /still wearing chaps for some reason

(cowboy) WHO AMONG YOU ARE WILLING TO FIGHT?  DON'T ANY OF YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO SKI FOR BLOOD?

(doc holliday)

(doc holliday) /coughs

(doc holliday) /looks bad ass

(doc holliday) I'm your huckleberry

(cowboy) /slightly taken aback

(cowboy) ...

(cowboy) ...

(cowboy) /thinks of weird old disease

(cowboy) allright.  lunger

(cowboy/doc holliday) /stare

(cowboy/doc holliday) ....

(cowboy/holiday) /adjust chaps

(doc holliday) SAY WHEN

(cowboy) jesus man, take it easy, it takes like forever to put all this ski shit on, the leg spray things and trying to get this heater shirt over my fat ass is hard!  Plus, whats with these bindings now??

(doc holliday) /is tweaking his binding setup

(doc holliday) /wasn't really listening

(horse) /twerks

(cowboy) HEY!

(doc holiday) WHAT?

(doc holliday) oh yeah...sorry bro.  lol.  gotta take a quick deuce anyways, had to much coffee and tobacco and bacon for breakfast...

(doc holliday) tell you what, lets meet up by the tree or whatever for a duel

(cowboy) dude, the lake is right here...don't be stupid

(doc holiday) ...

(jack travers) hey cowboy, you can duel anywhere, we have lots of lakes

(doc holliday) i don't

(al swearengen) SHUT THE FUCK UP

(everyone) /starts adjusting their slalom fin angles and whatever

/SCREEECH!!!!!!!


(everyone) /GAAASSSPP

(everyone) /OOOOOOOHHHHHH MMMYYYY GOOOODDDDD

(carl god damn roberge) /steps out of indy car

(carl god damn roberge) Hello everyone, its really nice to see you today.  I have heard that you have a cowboy in town that is interested in slalom blood sport

(carl god damn roberge) /looks fantastic

(carl god damn roberge) hey baby, its ok, these guys are a bunch of pushovers

(alex laurentano) /gets out of backseat of carl god damn roberges indy car

(carl and alex)

(dig dug) /breaks fourth wall

(dig dug) YOU SON OF A BITCH!!

(carl god damn roberge) /dr. manhattans dig dug into a zillion pieces and/or death

(carl god damn roberge) So, where is this cowboy that feels like he AND/OR she can take me down.  This person obviously does not understand the nature of things.  I will destroy this person

(doc holiday) in vino veritas

(carl god damn roberge) Age quod agis

(doc holiday) Credat Judaeus apella, non ego

(carl god damn roberge) Eventus stultorum magister.

(cowboy) /returns from adjusting slalom fins and/or panning for gold and/or drinking whiskey

(cowboy) In pace requiescat

(jack travers) Come on boys, we don't want trouble on the slalom course in any language

(cowboy) /turning to brenda baldwin

(cowboy) evidently carl god damn roberge is an educated man, and a decent real estate agent...now I really hate him

(everyone) /waits for the god damn boat driver to get out of bed

/SCENE: Doc Holiday and Carl God Damn Roberge and Cowboy stand on the dock waiting

/SCENE: The tow boat comes into view

/SCENE: /a blond headed driver comes into view

(cowboy) oh, now its on!!!

(doc holiday) /drinks from a flask

(doc holiday) all right all right all right

(carl god damn roberge) YOU...AGAIN..../squeezes ski handle till it breaks

**part 2 coming**

Apr 30, 2014

The Masters is an Operation Gold Event...What Does That Mean?

Earlier today skifly posted this and since it was in all caps one would have to assume that this is an important thing.

Right?

Operation Gold!  Wow.  Such Color, Very Waterski.


This has to be a great thing right?  USA Waterski has been beating down the doors of the USOC in recent years, with varying degrees of success, but, lets not get ahead of ourselves.  What does it mean?

Lets check in with wakeboarding mag dot com
The Masters was first chosen by USA Water Ski as an Operation Gold Event for water ski athletes in 2012. It is truly an honor for the Masters to once again be designated as an Operation Gold event. USA Water Ski and the World Wakeboard Association (WWA) created a Statement of Cooperation to allow the Wakeboard athletes access to these Operation Gold funds for 2014. 
Operation Gold is a USOC program that rewards athletes for earning medals at one elite level event annually. Operation Gold allows U.S. water ski and wakeboard athletes to earn money by placing in the top-four in their division. U.S. athletes in these disciplines will be awarded an additional $2,500 for first, $2,000 for second, $1,500 for third and $1,000 for fourth place.
Oh Nice!  Our skiers and wakeboarders can get some MOAR dough for hitting the podium.  Thats awesome.

There are some very nice quotes within that wake board . com article from various parties involved, including the head of USA Waterski Bob Crowley, Mr. Crowley if your nasty.
“We are very pleased to work with the WWA to provide this USOC Operation Gold funding opportunity to these incredibly talented water ski and wakeboard athletes. This is a testament to the quality of athletes who compete in the Masters each year and to the prestige of the event that Nautique produces. It is always an honor to work with the USOC on this program,” commented Bob Crowley, executive director of USA Water Ski, the national governing body of organized water skiing in the United States and a member of the United States Olympic Committee.
This is really nice.  Its very nice to see the continuation of USA Waterski and the USOC.  Nothing but good can come out of this relationship, at least to our eyes and ears...you would like to see our sport become more than that...but, the structures that are in place and the way in which the the VAST majority of sports in this country operate, we should be stoked that this is a thing...a relationship that is growing our sport further.  Upwards.

Just think, in about 10 years, our dream of a team based waterski team based competition will come true.

1st overall pick???

Alex Laurentano-dig dug Jr.


A Wonderful #FAILBOAT video


Most everyone has seen, or at least heard about this above gif, where the driver of a big boat somehow gets possesed by some alien life form and just bails the hell out of his duties of driving the boat.

Its phenomenal.

Just watch it for about five minutes.  We will wait.

---

---

Right?  So many questions.

1) Did he have a stroke or something mid-air?  How does that happen?

2) Speaking of mid-air, how, just upon landing do you pack up and just take a nap?

3) What is he doing with the throttles??

4) LOLOL The girl in the yellow/green bikini gets a lake bukake!

5) Why is everyone standing up?

6) How great is said yellow/green bikini girls sunglasses flying off?

7) How fast were they going and why were they in such a hurry?

8) Serious, did that dude just die in front of our faces??

9) Is there anyway to make this funnier?

Good thing we asked that last question, because some radical person out there in internet decided to do just that.

In a video uploaded on an account called planet vocal (more like planet text amirite?) they recut that video/gif and pasted it over a dub step type song from a band/group/pereson called Excision.  and the resulting video is like heroin for your eyes.  and ears.  and oh my god, reverse imaged stroke death guy.
This really, probably and with out additional hyperbole, should win oscar for best picture.  Or at least, best director and original screen play.

Enjoy.

Apr 28, 2014

Vid Day Monday

Sticking with the old school theme we now have a old ski show vid from 1967.  This looks really...entertaining...or something...yay aquaplanes and saucers!

Vid Day Monday

Jumping and butt checking in a bikini in 1953...ouch

Apr 21, 2014

Vid Day Monday

So spring has shown its face and now I want to go skiing...well I always want to go skiing but its always the worst in the spring as you wait for the ice to clear and sun to come out. We are too old to hit the water the day the ice breaks like we did in our younger days, but this waiting game thing is a bitch.

These guys seem to have the reverse issue, they want more snow but don't have it. So why not snow ski on grass?

Apr 14, 2014

Apr 11, 2014

Its The Freakin Weekend Baby

Hey!  Its almost getting warm out!  Everyone is in a better mood then recently.  Time to fire up fire up the grill!

CRB Receptionist hard at work
We have he CRBBBQ allready fired up and ready to go!

Lets have a great weekend!  Drink some beer!  Hey, Saturday afternoon, lets go to the local boat dealership and buy a schooner!

Play it Loud!


Apr 10, 2014

and here I thought we were friends...

It has been many years of peace.  It has been many years of complacency.  It has been many years of tea on the porch whilst watching the sun set.

It was years of calm.

Years of personal fulfillment, repairing burned bridges, evicting vices from our lives, achieving a state of personal happiness that only a few could hope to achieve.

And in a moment, this morning, it was gone.

Shattered forever.

The same demons returned.  The same inability to control the impulses emerged.  The blood lust...alive.

Years of fulfilling life washed down the drain.

Apr 8, 2014

Llewellyn

Jaret was a power in our sport for years, watching Jaret and Freddy go head to head every tournament was one of the best parts of watching pro tournaments.  It is very tough to find good video of the any late 90s early 2000s tournaments...hell its hard to find good video of any tournaments.  Would be sweet if there was a website that would organize all the videos of older tournaments in a way that was easily searchable...hint hint Tony.

Apr 7, 2014

Vid Day Monday

The new season of Game Of Thrones started last night, as usual there was lots of blood and nakedness.  The CRB team gathered with a flagon of whisky and preceded to get bombed and pass out before it started.  

Apr 4, 2014

Musical Friday

First time I watched this vid I had my volume off and thought, "great, another slomo bs wakeboard vid".  Then I turned the volume up and knew I had to post it.  Crank up the volume!

Black Dog from Cheerwithnico.com on Vimeo.

Apr 1, 2014

USA Field Hockey names squad for Pan American Cup

Bro, do you even field hockey?

Its a very exciting time in the Creaky Shooting Circle (field hockey term, look it up kids), world...we are happy to pass along the long awaited group that will represent the USA Field Hockey team at the Indoor Pan-American Cup that is taking place in Uruguay that will be taking place in February in 2015.
2015 is like, a year or something from now.  WHAT?  I NEED THIS NOW.

If you remember right, about a year or so ago, we had a big conversation about which direction we thought that the USA Field Hockey team should go in.

Do they go for a more offensively minded squad?

ODBF was dead set that we aim for a sound, fiscally responsible defensive squad.

Or do you just pick the best players that you have at your disposal and just lay waste to competition?

How you do you properly balance that ethos against the proper construct of the competition?

Well, we did decide that we would just ask someone with a history of field hockey and possibly the knowledge to clue us into the proper construction of a field hockey team, the following is a brief glimpse into our conversation with Kat Skinner, a prominent field hockey historian/bike thief.

If you would like to hear our entire conversation, please download the CSC podcast (the 3 hour long mega-pod at CSCPOD.NET)

My Mic isn't the only thing that is abnormally large.

CSC: Thanks for taking the time to talk to us, lets dive right in, how do you feel that the 2015 Pan-American field hockey team is shaping up.

Kat: Eh...ok.  I have spoken with many people that feel like its more important to make scrambled eggs in the MORNING and not in the evening like some sort of god damn animal.  you feel me?

CSC: oh...is that some sort of allegory as to how to properly compete on a global level in the field hockey arena?  or...are you just talking about eating breakfast in the morning instead of at night?

Kat: your a god damn idiot.  You make breakfast food for breakfast not for dinner, I don't care how much you enjoy your Denver omelets, but, you know damn well that the broncos got their ass kicked in the superbowl by a non-food based football team.  You can't allow yourself to view things in black and white like that...you have to understand that not all of us enjoy things in the same vain as you do.

You heathen.

CSC: I think we actually understand what you are hinting at, despite your gutter mouth and propensity for weird breakfast imagery.

Your saying that its impossible to perfectly figure out the exact team until its actually constructed and how the parts all work with each other, judging things on a strictly merit based performance clause is a foolish endeavor?

Kat: /smokes a pall mall

CSC: /enjoys second hand smoke

Kat: Look, just don't wear underwear, let your bits get out there in the wind.  you get aroused???  you're winning.  You don't?  Your kids will grow up to worship goats.

CSC: thanks for the time, have a great day.  Here, have some bacon.

Kat: /skydives out of airplane

nice placement of the toast.  learn to plate your food
The Mens Field Hockey team is a bit of a shocker, but, the names should ring true to all of us.
 Kevin Barber (Camarillo, CA), Michael Barminski (Ventura, CA), Ajai Dhadwhal (Agoura Hills, CA), Mohan Gandhi (Ventura, CA), William Holt (Camarillo, CA), JaJa Kentwell (Spring City, PA), Thomas Krauss (New York, NY.), Moritz Runzi (Boston, MA), Sebastian Scheurer (Greenwich, CT), Robert Schilling (Long Beach, CA), Kevin Segeren (Twin Falls, ID), Jason Wellings (San Diego, CA)

Be on the look out for William Holt, he is Steve Holts son who would have been a hall of famer if not for the freak hot air ballon drawing that he did that was somehow set on fire and took down antropolus.  #neverforget

The womens team doesn't contain any real shockers.  HI-OHHH.  But, certainly does place them as the heavy favorites to win the cup and probably also our hearts.
Susan Ciufo (Bangor, PA), Ashley Dalisera (Millersville, MD), Maeve Doherty (Millersville, MD), Amanda Fleischut (Doylestown, PA), Lauren Hibshman (Allentown, PA), Alexa Hoover (Collegeville, PA), Maria Keesling (Downingtown, PA), Erin Matson (Chadds Ford, PA), Rachael Milne (Hatfield, PA), Kimberly Tunell (Wilmington, DE)
Alexa Hoover has come on strong recently, including a real strong showing at the Page Memorial tournament held in Andover Maryland recently, she scored like, a billion goals and carried her squad to a second place finish.

Lauren Hibshman occupies the crucial role on this particular team and also most likely is the front runner for the annual GBH award that is given annually to a person.

Stay tuned to the CSC for all your Field Hockey Updates.

Power to the people.

#SticksOutBallsOutFarOut


Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...