largest waterski tournament in the world

So this weekend in the small central Wisconsin town of Wisconsin Rapids, a town that has felt the economic downturn worse then many other communities. Built on the paper industry and facing a market that increasingly imports those products from Asia, they need all the help they can get. And help they will recieve in the form of a few thousand people wearing...tights...?

oh yea, time for the ODBF to make his annual trek to the Wisconsin State Show ski tournament...and yea, all the 3 eventers and what not that rip on show skiing, it is that fun. I mean BEER TENT hello!!

Ah yes, the great north woods, timber country, big burly men cutting down trees during the day and putting on tights and dressing up like Liberacie at night, what could be better?




well...hmm...yea on that note how about the running order

Starting on thursday are the individual events. It looks like there are 4 seperate events this year, Swivel, Doubles, Team jump and Freestyle Jump (woooooot!). But looking at the running order it looks a little on the slim side to me, 4 teams in team jump and only ONE!!! in freestyle? come on now, o'conner, Debalak, Rieshling, Olson...guys...anyone?...bueller? bueller? Where is everyone? Come on now guys, any event that makes use of Jazz hands in the ballet line is well worth attending...oh yea gotcha

Team Competition Running Order

The running order for the 2009 Wisconsin State Water Ski Show Tournament team competition is as follows:

Friday, July 17
1 Twin Bridge
2 Chain Skimmers
3 Badwater Ski-Ters
4 Aqua Devils
5 Plum Ski-Ters
6 Crivitz Ski Cats
7 Shawano Ski Sharks

Saturday, July 18
1 Chain Skiers
2 Brown's Lake Aquaducks
3 Mad-City
4 Water Bugs
5 Badgerland
6 Beaverland Must-Skis
7 Aquanuts
8 Lauderdale Aqua Skiers
9 Rock Aqua Jays

Sunday, July 19
1 Chetek Hydroflites
2 Webfooters
3 Waterboard Warriors
4 Shermalot
5 Minneiska
6 Wisconsin Rapids Aqua Skiers
7 Ski Sprites



So wait, let me get this right, the first team hits the water at 6:40 ok cool, gonna be dark by the 3rd show...oh you mean 6:40 AM...AM!!!!!! eat a dick! Im not getting up that early! good god man, thats like work week hours, this tournament needs to be set to my beer drinking hours, which means it needs to start at about noon or so and have piss breaks every 30 mins or so after and then around 6 there should be a nap break, then some time later a puke and rally break! Did you guys miss that memo? I mean you even have a hugh beer tent and everything, COME ON NOW GET WITH THE PROGRAM.

Yep, thats how it is supposed to be, even your local paper understands!

Freestyle jump making a comeback?

Ok so my near obsession with freestyle jumping looks like it is going to lead me to travel to the middle of nowhere, Paper Country Wisconsin. They have finally brought back the individual freestyle Jump compatition. Needless to say I

Jizzed in my Pants




No. Name of Maneuver Description
1 Helicopter 360 Spin 1.0 2.5
2 Flip Forward Flip 2.0 3.5
3 Gainer Gainer Type Flip 2.5 3.5
4 Mobius Gainer + Helicopter 5.0 6.5
5 Front Mobius Flip ± Helicopter 6.0 7.5
6 720 2 Continuous 360 Spins 3.5 5.5
7 1080 3 Continuous 360 Spins 8.0 12.0
8 In-Out 720 360 Spin + Reverse 5.0 9.0
9 Double Mobius Gainer + 720 Spin 10.0 13.0
10 Double Flip 2 Continuous Flips 8.0 12.0
11 Double Gainer 2 Continuous Gainers 10.0 15.0
12 180 ½Turnw/BackLanding 2.0 3.5
13 540 l ½ Turnw/BackLanding 4.0 6.0
14 Half Mobius Gainer + 180 w/Back Landing 6.0 8.0
15 1½ Mobius Gainer + 540 w/Back Landing 9.5 12.0
16 Front Half Flip + 180 W/ Back Landing 7.0 9.0
17 Front 11/2 Flip + 540 w/Back Landing 10.0 15.0
18 Reverse Gainer Backwards takeoff gainer, 5.0 8.5backwards landing
19 Twisted Sister Heli, Front Flip, Separate 5.5 8.5 Rotations
20 Air Raley TBD TBD

I am pretty much pissing my pants in excitment, maybe that means I am a hugh dork but I dont care, this stuff FREAKING ROCKS. A guy that can throw a 540 mobe is just as talented as a jumper that can go over 200. (just my opinion dont yell at me)

CRB Off-Sport - Sprint Boats

In the comments of the LTCO, commenter and well known ladies man, annonomous, posted this link to this video. We command you to watch it. Right NOW!

When you are done watching you will probably think to yourself that this is the coolest thing I have ever seen and please CRB you must tell us more about this rad sport. We will feed you baby birds.



This is an actual sport! Governed by teh USSBA, or, the United States Sprint Boat Association. The concept seems pretty easy huh? Small boat, big motor, two people in the boat racing around this little skinny watery course.

The potential for awesome crashes at every turn has to be immense, and yes, the crashes are that awesome. Observe.



Side note. Watching that video, you notice when the boats roll over you see some of the drivers and spotter with their arms flailing all around. THAT IS WRONG! They teach you that, especially in rally racing, when you roll grab onto the steering wheel or your seat belt and hold on tight, that way you don't chance breaking your arm, or having them grotesqly ripped off in an awesome display of steroid Olympic style gore.

See Travis Pastrana's arm at the 48 second mark. Hold on to the steering wheel Travis!!


Back on track, So now that we have established the awesome, lets get into some details shall we?

From the USSBA website, which may or may not have been designed in geocities, comes this bit of what, in fact, is Sprint Boating. Grab a cub of coffee or a beer and enjoy this bit of fun.

1990 saw jet sprinting first brought to the US. At first, racing was held in ponds and lakes, and the boats raced on a track setup with floating buoys. This was when the United States Sprint Boat Association (USSBA) was formed as a club. In 1997 the first in-ground track was dug in Marsing Idaho along the banks of the Snake River.

Here in the US jet sprint racing now consists of three classes, Superboat, Group A-400 and Super Modified. The USSBA has now transformed from a “club” to a true sanctioning racing body that sanctions and promotes Sprint Boat racing in the United States.

The engines in the boats range from 500 horsepower to well over 1,000 horsepower in the Superboat class. These boats approach straight-line speeds of up to 80-plus miles per hour and with their incredible turning capabilities can pull 3-7 g’s in the tightest corners.

In my years of reporting and photographing motorsports, I have had the great fortune to have been given rides in an SCCA 450hp Subaru rally car near Shelton, Washington and two laps at Portland International Raceway in the Petersen Motorsports 2004 Le Mans class winner Porsche 911 GT3 RSR.

Yes, those were both incredible rides that would please any adrenaline junkie, but riding in a USSBA sprint boat makes those rides little more than going to the grocery store for a half-gallon of milk on a Sunday morning with Grandma at the wheel.

Right out of the box your breath is taken away as you accelerate off the start line. As your pilot comes to the first corner you see the bank get closer and closer and you wonder when they are ever going to slow down for that extremely sharp corner that you can barely see! And they do not slow down! You grit your teeth and exhale hard as you experience the incredible g-forces and it’s that way through every straight and every turn. You’ve heard the term: Racing like your hair’s on fire. This type of racing is exactly that.

Your lap is over in less than a minute and you’ve hardly even breathed. Your adrenaline is maxed out, your legs are weak and your hands are shaking. You will never forget this moment. If you can ever swing a ride in a sprint boat, do it. You will not regret it.

We are sold!

There are a few more events coming up if you choose to partake in the festivities and happen to live in the Washington or Oregon areas. From both the Wicked Racing site and the USSBA site:

July 25th in Albany, Oregon - Field of Dreams
August 8th in Port Charles, Washington - Location TBD
August 29th in St. John, Washington - Webbs Slough
September 12th in Albany, Oregon - Field of Dreams
September 19th in Port Charles, Washington - Location TBD

If anyone is in that area, you MUST go to these events and take many pictures and share them with the CRB community. Maybe we can all get together, raise some money, and have a CRB sprint boat race team! Here, more video!

Wicked Racing 2008 Finals from Wicked Racing on Vimeo.

Lake Trout Carry Out: Hire/Fire/Rehire Edition

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.

• Looks like the NSSA and USAWS have been listening to the ODBF and have brought back Freestyle jumping! not on the pro tour but at showski nationals...but a little bird has told the CRB that their may be a prize money freestyle jump competition in the works for next summer.

• Mastercraft has rehired about 30% of its work force. Looks like the ODBF was overly pessimistic about MC's chances...

• People ski in North Dakota? Ill be damned

• Cable Parks continue to grow in popularity. So while boat manufactures are showing signs of life non-boat assisted skiing is growing...something does not add up...(i failed math)

• So it looks like all is rosy in the boat industry...um wait, Nope! looks like Nautique is laying off 1/3 of their work force. Ugh, that blows

• Economic downturn be damned the (ski) show must go on

Have a kick ass weekend. Buy a boat.

Old School Cypress Gardens

Some pretty decent skiing in there. I still love the old bannana skis, those things were crazy, I suck somthing awful on them though. Tricks are one thing, but make them as long and thin as combos? now thats a bit harder. A good video of the bannana skis in action was the Ken White tribute vid, but YouTube in their infinite wisdom pulled it. Jerks

And a bit more recent look at the Gardens

CRB Off Topic

Im going to go off on a bit of a tangent here and at no point in any way will this have anything to do with waterskiing. well hell it might I have not typed it yet so I really dont know if i will get to skiing, but ah hell just read it or dont...whatevs

So Im sitting here at my desk working on my TPS reports and reporting to one of my 7 bosses (which somehow inicludes the janitor and some truck driver that I dont think even works here), and I decide to check out one of the many news sites out there. This is a crazy time in the world, there are big events occuring all around the world; Democracy protests in Iran, a war in Iraq, a war in Afganastan, ethinic riots in China, Obama and Putin meetting for lunch...and well lots of other news... But what to my dismay do I find as the lead story on every news website, every TV station, every radio station, most every freaking blog? MICHEAL JACKSONS MEMORIAL? all I can say is what the FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERY ONE? FOR GODS SAKE THE GUY WAS A CHILD MOLESTER!!! I dont think they are going to have a memorial for that child molester that moved into my neighborhood when I was a kid.

(seriously dude, why my neighborhood? all the rents got all freaked out and it totally screwed up my buddys 9th bday party, then you took pictures of kids at the park and you went back to prison...dipshit)

People are actually committing suicide over this has been! are you fucking kidding me? Killing yourself over some guy who sang some decent tunes back in the '80s then fell off the wagon of normalcy? Good Lord, you have to be kidding me, how were people this damn stupid able to survive this long? Not to be cruel or anything, but...yea wait, screw that, I am going to be cruel, The world is a better place with out you morons, good ridence. seriously again all i can think to say is FUCK WHAT THE FUCK? GAHHHHH.

It is just so incredibly irritating that our society eats this stupid shit up, we have Americans (and our allies) dieing every day fighting in wars across the world, we have a country that is on the fast track to economic ruin and we spend our time watching a bunch of fucking wackos bury a has been musician. Ok he was a pretty good musician in his prime, but so is Neil Young, and I have to say that Neil Young is light years more important to modern music then MJ ever was and I can guarentee you that when Neil dies there will be some sad peeps out there (those that have any sense of what music really is) but not a single person will kill themselves, and the funeral will be a small and respectable affair that does not draw such publicity whores as...well all those dumb shits in this link. And wait...wait...did that say VIP seats...and they charged admission...and the mayor of LA is asking for donations? FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK

and just to add a little icing on the cake...

The public part of all this - the escorts, police presence, securing the
freeways and area around Staples - is expected to cost well over 4 million. That
of course will be paid for by the City of Los Angeles. 4 million is a lot of
money to throw away on a private citizens funeral, but considering none of the
Jackson actually live or pay taxes there, it makes sense.

Hey wait…

Well that makes sense, California is only on the verge of bankruptcy, so spending $4 million of public money on a funeral really makes sense...

All I can say is FU...hey look hot chicks!

wow, people wear that type of stuff? in public? I need to move...

Guess Who

Guess who this fallen skier is and you win one interwebs.

Photo Credit: Jaret Picasa