Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass!

Dispatch from the CRB weather desk

Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS! STAY INSIDE

The CRB north team, currently doing deep vain thrombosis research in our corporate offices in the mid-west relayed to the operations team recently that its way to cold to go outside and take the core samples necessary.

They know we are in a time crunch, as you can imagine these days, with the nature of the research being done, but, they were insistent that its to cold and would actually further slow down / harm what we have worked so long for. 

This was submitted as proof. 

and to that we say

We have advised the team to hunker down and we will send fresh supplies to keep the team upbeat and ready to go when the weather gets better.  a crate of cheeze-its and 100 miller high lifes have been loaded and shipped. 

Unfortunately, not everyone has access to the level of accommodations and nutrition that the CRB team does, but, true to the American spirit, we have seen the ways in which many have decided to keep warm.

Go Birds

This is smart, economical and actually better for the environment then recycling.  Many people dont know this, but, the chemical reaction that comes from dumpster paint and fire create a polymorphic atmosphere around the dumpster that creates 2-times the amount of oxygen then a tree does in an entire year. 

the lake association named a new lead musky 

Another smart way to keep warm, while also avoiding the pesky questions that come from the insurance company as to why you have a wood burning stove in your boat. 

this way, just lighting your boat on fire while napping in the cabin keep you nice and toasty (typical fires are about 75-80 degrees) and perfectly safe, for as we all know fires dont go inside, they are like vampires that way, in which they need to be invited indoors. 

let me kneel next to your fiaaaa

Here we see a finance bro reduced to setting fire to his/her musical instruments just to keep warm.  Its been quite a fall for the finance bro subsection of the greater finance brother/sister gaggle that yearly retreats to the bohemian grove in california to take 75 pellets of mescaline and go swimming. 

/cypress hill intensifies

Scientists from all over the world are still stunned after seeing pictures of this heating hack.  This is for SURE the one your power company doesn't want you to know about.  You simply heat up this geothermic contraption and it keep you warm for at least an hour.  All you need is a simple lighter and the contraption, easily obtainable from your kids bedroom and/or the place down the street that also has the dildos.  

Norm Macdonald on Dennis Miller

\

stumbled onto a youtube wormhole earlier today and again, was struck by norm.  

we've detailed it before in our emo ass post, here, but, there is something just so astonishing about his ability to be funny without trying to be funny. 

we keep coming back to this guy. 

as we age our way through life its nice to have this fella as a divining rod to help out.  There is no later day turn towards maga-chud nonsense, there is no weird anti-wokeness.  just a dude funnier then shit, poking holes in all our nonsense.  

This Just Ain't Right

Turns out Elvis Presley is pretty good!

 For a guy who died dropping a duuuuuece! on the toilet at 42, dude sang some SONGS!

right?  suspicious minds is a certified banger!

But, we all know this.  and lets not get carried away with some jailhouse rock nonesense, thats for the dumbs. No one just gets stupid famous for no reason, there has to be talent there, and this cat was full of it...or at least really good at imitating other people.  who knows!!

But, never the less, Elvis has some solid songs.  

Cmon!  burning love is a banger!  you just stop it right now and tell your stupid ass friends that they are wrong and should be ashamed.

Anyway, thats the update from the CRB desk for today.  

P.S  dude is still alive.  he works at the bodega down the street from me.  constantly under charges me by a dollar for a pack of parliaments.  thanks king.  

Super Normal Brunch At The Hot Spot With The Bros

/at brunch at the place that has the good ass drinks, plus, the suspiciously attractive bartender who for no reason what so ever appears to be into you, but  you know its nonsense but appreciate the flattery

good luck getting invited to this party

/sipping mimosa

bro 1 "Yeah dog totally, as we get into the fall weather a little bit its so much nicer to sleep at night,  you can open up the windows and the cooler weather with the breeze, shoot,  you just sleep like a rock"

bro 2 "Totally bro, its so nice, i mean, like, you ever just sleep so well that you wake up and think you have traveled to Narnia or some shit!  hahaha!"

bro 1 "dog seriously though i mean like fucking the middle of summer when its like idk like Drogons throat ass hot out, sleeping....oh and like...sorry but your sister likes it that way...but like, its on top of the sheets and what not bro"

/admiring the shape of your skull, and finishing off second bloody mary

bro 2 "lol..sonnnn...what...shit man.. for real, like, i can barely even get under the bed...ugh..sheets?  whatever man, like, its so...ha...ugh.  was i supposed to eat the whole gummy?   wait....veronica tho wait what?"

bro 1 "AYE YO, THESE PANCAKES ARE SIIIIIICK"

bro 1 "THESE AREN'T PANCAKES"

bro 1 /stares at plate

bro 1 / stares at plate

bro 1 "the hell..."

bro 1 "stares at plate"

bro 2 "what dog?"

bro 2  / stares at plate also

bro 1 and 2 / staring at plate

bro 1 and 2 / staring at plate

bro 1 "is that?"

bro 2 "idk bro"

bro 1 "is that your sister"

bro 2 "yo id forever treasure that dog if you were the one dog"

bro 1 "bro"

bro 2 "bro"

bro 3 /out of nowhere

bro 3 "WHAT THE FUCK BROS, LOOKS AT THIS SHITS"

bro 3 /pulls ups facebook for some reason

BROS "YOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

waiter /swoons 

not the good bartender /swoons

suspiciously hot bartender "omg, like, have you ever wanted to have children and/or wanted to go to la night jam?"

bro 1 "you wanna have our honeymoon in Louisiana in the early middle-ish of june and shit and what not and shit baby?"

bro 2 "thats not my sister tho bro!"

bro 1 "she could be though now my forever bro"

bro 2 "bro"

bro 1 "bro"  

bro 3 /levitating

Zero Off On A Pontoon

IT DOESN'T MATTER

Wet Leg - Chaise Longue VS George Washington

This song is so ridiculous and there is no reason why we should like it as much as we do, but then ag...

"excuse me"

yes?

"excuse me"

Oh...ha.  playing into the song joke.  gotcha. 

Wet Leg (awesome name) have a song that is this now.   look below at video or whatever.  

Right?  that is some catchy tunes right there and somehow, your dad is pregnant! 

But, we were talking in the board meeting this morning at CRB HQ and someone brought up an interesting point. 

Is the verse part not eerily similar to the weirdo George Washington with his far to many dicks song?

Have a listen. 

Right??

Enjoy your Friday kids. 

update.

these guys kinda rule live!  Enjoy your weekend children. 

 

also, eat a god damn burrito once in a while.  put some guac in there.  live a little