Sep 30, 2010

CRB Buys A Plane

Its cold here and I will have to wrap the boat up for the year soon. That depresses me...I have been curled up in the fetal position crying for the last week or so. So that got me thinking, what do I need to be able to ski more? A PLANE! HELLZ YEA THAT WOULD RULE.

So the CRB had a meeting this morning to discus if we would spend some of our vast* wealth on a sea plane.
*vast = broke and living on the street

ODBF: I want a plane, what you guys think?

Life Jacket: I live on the other side of the country and its warm here right now...so my vote is...

ODBF: If you vote yes you can have one of these surf boards

Life Jacket: Sweet Bro.
/votes yes
/hangs ten

CRB Minion: I'm in prison in Mexico, how would this help?

ODBF: You could run dr...

CRB Minion: /votes yes
/sets up Mexican drug cartel

Rowboat Abides: Whats that sonny? Whats this new fangled machine of which you speak?

ODBF: Old man be quiet.
/hands Rowboat Abides a new box of depends.

Rowboat Abides. /votes yes
/shits self
/grows neck beard

Dig Dug: As long as your handing out stuff what you got for me?

ODBF: BOOZE FLIGHTS!


Dig Dug: /votes yes

ODBF: HELLZ YEA, lets do this!
/crash

Sep 29, 2010

And A Joke

A University of Lousiana Monroe skier reported for her university final examination, which consisted of “yes” or “no” questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - “Yes” for Heads and “No” for Tails.

Within half an hour she is all done while the rest of the class is still sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator approaches her and asks what is going on.

“I finished the exam in half an hour. But now I’m rechecking my answers.”.


While picking on ULM we could point out that they are one of the few teams to get on ESPN.

More Old School MC Boat Pics

The CRB crew used to ski behind one of these back in the day, ours was black and the floor was broken but man did it rule. Those old MC outboards were sweet and they could jump out of the water with the best of them.

ed note: We may have broken the floor by jumping the boat around.



This pic is from the MC facebook page. Lots of cool pics in there.

Sep 28, 2010

Lake Trout Carry Out - Pinch Hit Edition

Hi, Its Dig Dug here.  ODBF is drunk and/or has a broken computer and/or both. Here are some various stories and things that caught my attention while I was inside someone elses dream, inception style.
  • This boat is awesome.  Its a FB thing.  Yes, we are linking to our own post.  Its our site yo, nobody puts baby in a corner.  (CRB)
  • I gotta send somebody from this squadron to Miramar. I gotta do something here, I still can't believe it. I gotta give you your dream shot! I'm gonna send you up against the best. You two characters are going to Top Gun.  (News Press)
  • Is this a real company?  Seems like cool stuff despite a pretty incomplete website.  Sounds like the CRB.  haha, good one Jay.  (Razor Skis)
  • Solar Powered back packs?  Are these at all like fur sinks?  haha, good one Steve.  But, these do seem pretty cool and could be great if you are hiking, or floating in a rowboat with no external source of power.  Speaking of, any one seen your mom? (Voltaic systems)
  • Stunning, more and more unmarried people are living together.  Because marriage is a societal institution set up for failure...or...you want to test drive before you buy?  (AP)
  • Sons of Anarchy is on tonight.  ODBF is hooked, I have never seen a single second of it.  Am I rising above a brain dead medium to achieve enlightenment?  haha, SIKE, im broke.  :(  (warming glow)
  • Sammy rocket picture via our sister page, CRB Tumblr, enjoy the nonsense. (crb tumblr)
To finish off my pinch hit appearance on the LTCA, here is a picture of a house exploding.  


Old School Mastercraft

We had an old stars and stripes back in the day, but this thing here is just sweet. 1972 MasterCraft. Hella cool. MC has a competition going on on their FaceBook page with dogs and MC boats. Taking the dog out on the boat when skiing is always fun. So if you don't like a dog in your boat then we don't want to know you, seriously what are you communist or something?

Sep 27, 2010

Vid Day Monday

Some hella sweet video from back in the day. Thank you to Jarret and Britta Llewellyn.


Vid Day Monday - Get Yo Trix On

This vid was sent to the contact Chevette where it bounced around under the seat for awhile. Now its got an old Mars Bar stuck to it and some gummy substance...its gross, but the vid rules.

Vid Day Monday - Wake Up With A Crash

We did not steal this from Horton...we stole it from Tony. And the first 44 seconds of it are the most brutally bs thing ever. NO WE DO NOT WANT TO WATCH A SUPER SLOW MO CUT AT THE RAMP!!!! GAHHHH oh but if you click right to the 45 second mark and watch you will see some straight up explosion. This vid is a good example of why you should not use a frayed rope. Was this one in bad shape? How the F would I know. But it broke so I'm guessing it was not great.

Sep 25, 2010

CRB Brings the Sexy

Not only are these girls smoking hot but the pics are really good. So no more words, just 5 pics from the CRB Brings the Sexy library.









Sep 23, 2010

185 Feet

Storm Selsor, a former Green Boat House award winner, booted a gigantic 185 foot jump this past weekend. That is the longest jump in years, the last jump longer then that has to be Dodd going 187 back in 05 or so. We could look it up but thats no fun.

Could Storm break the record this year?

We have no idea why the hell are you asking us? We just make stuff up and pretend its true. Except for the Jimmy Siemers article, that is true, he was elected president but the national media wants to keep you in the dark so they wont tell you the truth.

This is not the vid from the 185, but we could not find it so here is a vid from nationals.



So Dig Dug kindly pointed out that I did not give the distance of the current NCWSA record. Ryan Fitts jumped 193 back in the late 90s or so.

There, does that make you happy Dig Dug? Jerk...

And A Joke

A California State Chico Water Skier holding a baby walks into a drug store and asks the clerk if she can use the store’s baby scale.

“Sorry, ma’am,” says the clerk. “Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby’s weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first.”

“Oh, that won’t work,” says the Chico Water Skier.

“Why not?” asks the clerk.

“Because,” she answers, “I’m not the mother - I’m the aunt.”.

Sep 22, 2010

Trix Are For Kidz

This kid is 12...



That wrap in wake line step is hella sweet. Of course he missed it, but thats just cuz hes not as good as the ODBF is.../falls on 2 ski side slide

And A Joke

A Clemson Water Skier came home from her first day taking the train to class.

Her roommate noticed she was looking a little pale and asked, “Hey, are you feeling all right?”

“Not really,” she replied. “To tell you the truth, I’m a little nauseous from sitting backward on the train.”

“Poor dear,” she said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?”

“I wanted to, but I couldn’t,” she replied. “There was no one there.”

ed note: we get these forwarded to us, so no hating on us, these are coming from within your own ranks.

Sep 21, 2010

Laurentano is better then everyone

Crb Girl and noted in-front-of-bathroom interviewee Alex Laurentano participated in a waterski tournament this last weekend. Turns out, besides being a good jumper, she is also quite adept at the short board.


HOW ADEPT IS SHE CRB???

Well, we are glad you asked. Alex bested the old collegiate trick record by some number of points. Her run included, probably, some flips and toe-turns right? What about a whirlybird, tell me about the whirlybird! And whats this about Austin?

Explain in detail ncwsa.com
Univeristy of Monroe's latest recruit, Alex Laurentano, demolished the NCWSA Women's trick record this past weekend at the 25th Hour Classic Tournament. Alex tricked 4930, and if passed by the NCWSA board, will surpass the previous record set by her old teammate at Florida Southern Clemetine Lucine. Alex also jumped 149 and help lead Monroe past rival Louisiana Lafayette who upended Monroe the previous weekend, should be a good showdown in Austin.

UL-M and UL-L are sick. How on earth do all the best skiers always wind up there? Is it black magic? Sorcery? Or something more sinister.



Ahh, there it is. The threat of portable bathrooms. Enough to make even the most hardened criminal weap.

Luckily for Alex and the rest of the collegiate world, Hope College is taking a year off to study a broad. haha get it? a broad?? Like a singular, non plural, women?

Court jester over here!! *bike horn*

Sep 20, 2010

Asian Peep Yumpin

Jimmy Jeong set a new Asian record with a boot of 186 feet. LETS GO GUYS!! Its about time the 3 billion or so people that live in Asia step it up.

Vid Day Monday

Horton has posted a pile of vids from the Diablo Shores tourny this past weekend. This one is Bob LaPoint showing us all that we suck at skiing and should think about changing to easier sports...such as underwater basket weaving.

Sep 17, 2010

And We Think Freddy Jumps Far

This video is freaking awesome, some of these guys are the best at their sports and others are just nuts...or brave but I'm going with nuts. A 20 mile high sky dive? SURE WHY NOT. O2 is overrated anyways.

Collegiate Season PARTY!!!



So Collegiate Waterski Season is underway, which can mean only one thing. Well other than the fact that all collegiate tournament organizers are on the look out for ODBF at tournaments. After that incident involving him and the goat....oh wait that was last weekend. I still think hes banned for some type of nonsense, I believe he must remain 200 yds away from all collegiate tournaments and school zones.

But what this really means is mass consumption of alcohol and watersking all in the span of two days! Whos pumped?!? This Guy! Last weekend saw some awesome scores from across the nation. At a quick glance there seems to be some young talent out there that is ready to make a name for them selves and some of the veterans still putting up big scores (redundant? I hope so).

I tried looking through the scores and there seems to be lots of numbers and conversion from meters to feet. So instead I drank beer to get into the frame of mind
that seems to work best at collegiate tournaments.....


Now thats what I am talking about, where else do you see quality like that other than collegiate ski tournaments....wait why is the dude naked, hey ladies!!!!

Last weekend there were several collegiate tournaments, most in the midwest, because for some crazy reason there are more ski teams in thepart of the country where the ski season is the shortest than pretty much the rest of the country combined. Really though, last weekend doesn't count, everyone is too drunk from the first week of college to be anywhere other the the campus health clinic (they do say herpagansyphalaids was started at a collegiate tournament). So we will start to see some bigger scores this weekend leading into most of the conference tournaments. Then hopefully one of the devoted* employees here at the CRB will look at the scores and tell you some stuff about it.

*drunk fat old men who do nothing productive....ever

Really the most important thing about collegiate tournaments is building the sport up, alot of people get into watersking at the college level. Like this lovely young lady...




The next important thing is making memories that you wish you could forget. Like those things you say when your married, "It was just a one time thing in collegiate watersking." Well thats what we here at the CRB want to see. We are too fat and lame (and in ODBFs case just not allowed) to be at collegiate tournaments. So we as well as our old ass (but distinguished and very cool) readers want to live vicariously through you college kids. So send us your pictures and videos from the tournaments. Not the ones of records being broken....the dumb shit ones, cuz really thats what we flourish on.

So "wake up, introduce yourself to the person next to you" and take a picture, then send it to creakyrowboat@gmail.com! We will have a contest towards the end of the year for the best pictures and videos....sound good? Well good, now go do it! Have fun this weekend and make mistakes your grandkids will regret!

Oh and both of those pictures are on collegehumor.com how sweet is that?

Come Back to us Rykert!



DO NOT MAKE US COME TAKE NOLA BACK!



Sep 15, 2010

A Fishing Boats Lament

Gah, I cant move...and its hella cold.  Yo Sail Boat!  LITTLE HELP??

Nothing.  Why the hell am I stuck out here in the middle of this damn lake all by myself?  What happened anyways.

If I remember right, it was just a few months ago I was happily motoring around with some fat dude and his kid on a fishing outing.

They loaded my so full of damn bait and snacks and what not I thought I would burst.

It wasn't long ago I was just an unassuming boat that was towed behind one of those nice sailboats, but, then Greg had to get all uppity and put a motor on me.

Then I was used for years to buzz around the lake, I have had any number of gross fish guts and crap all up inside me and I never once complained.

I just did my job like i was asked.

I am a restless soul, I would have to be tied to the dock or else I would float out into the lake and explore on my own.  But, I understood what was at stake.

Funny story actually, a couple years ago...I think it was around 04 or so, Mr. and Mrs weren't really getting along so well, and, well...lets just say that the MR. used me to "entertain" his scantily glad friends.  He would go out at night to cock-a-tease and inevitably he would bring back some floozy to the house.

Naturally, on the nice evenings he would bring her out and would use me as a sort of floating, aluminum spanish fly situation.

God, there would be freaking glitter and baby powder and stripper smell all over.

Never the less, I didn't complain, just went about my business ferrying people all over, sometimes I would be bashed into things when people weren't paying attention, but, I was build strong and with my buddy Evinrude on the back we were a pretty good team.

Times sure seemed to have changed though, as time went on i would get less and less use, as they have seemed to move on to other interests.  They got themselves one of this shiny new bass type boats, the ones with the big motors and built in live wells and what not.

It was a pretty nice looking boat actually, but, that boat was a spoiled brat and never truly respected and treated the family like it should.  It was really prissy, a scratch here in the gel goat or a spill there and it would get all indignant, not knowing its place on the lake.

Seriously bass boat, you are just a slightly nicer version of me.  Why you act that way??

It was tough to keep up appearances, there would be months where I would just sit there at the dock, tied up and waiting patiently to go out and cruise around like we used to.  I tried not to get discouraged, but, as time went by and I just sat there bobbing up and down, getting rained on, occasionally bailed out when I got to full, I waited.

Some of the shine started to come off me, I was older now.  My seats weren't as nice looking as they used to be, a bit more droop in there, some cracks, but that was to be expected.  I wasn't kept up the same way as I used to be.

I have to admit I did get discouraged and sometimes pretty angry over petty things.  For example, this one time all of a sudden I was needed to go down the shoreline and help with transporting pieces of a tree that fell in the water.

Some of the people who owned houses in the area got together to chainsaw up the tree and it was my job to hold all the pieces so they could be brought back over to the dock and hauled away.

Well, I wanted no part of that, so, we (evinrude and myself) that we were not about to help and we didn't start and I kicked out my drain plug.  HAHA.  there was water and stuff all over their pieces of wood.  They were soaked and heavy and they were all cursing up a storm.

Thats what you get for neglecting me!

Or at least so I thought, they were so mad they didn't even tie back up to the dock, just dragged me ashore and left me there on my side like a beached whale...my ass all hanging out for everyone to see.

It was embarrassing....and I was like that...just hanging in the breeze for a couple years!

But I knew they loved me, and eventually would see the mistake in their ways and come back to me.

I would see them out and about with the bass boat, and sometimes the pontoon boat, but, I knew that they wouldn't treat them right and they would think to themselves that they needed me back...and I would be here for them.  Thats my job!

Sure enough, one day I was being dragged back into the water and loaded up with fishing gear and a cooler full of cheeze-its, sliced meats and coors light.  Woo Hoo!  A fishing trip, I thought, I knew it!!

It was just like olden times, out in the water with the sun gleaning down on us, getting all warm and happy.  It was perfect!  We spend all day together hanging out, floating around, the breeze would carry us to and fro.

At the end of the day I was even tied back up to the dock like a real boat should be.  I felt pretty good, almost smug even looking at the other boats.  See I told you!  I thought to myself as I reveled in my new found confidence.

The next day came by and they walked down the dock towards me, I puffed out my chest expecting a to be loaded up again and heading out on the water, but, they walked right by me without even a sideways glance, an acknowledgement of our time together.

I was crushed.  I thought that time meant something!

It went like this for awhile...and as the season began to turn cold, I at least expected to be pulled up on shore or flipped over on the dock so I could make it through the winter.

Something.

My rope that tied me to the dock was fraying anyways, I figured, the hell with them, I will get out of here and show them.  So, I buoyed around in the wind and waves and eventually I got free.

I was gone, out of here, I was going to find someone or some family that could use someone like me.

Off I went in search, and I almost made it.  I struggled with the waves and the wind and the cold, eventually, I began to lose the will the make it to the other side, to my friends, to the life I knew I deserved and as the cold ice took hold I just gave up.

Frozen here in the ice, all those years wasted, but, not forgotten and not in vain.  As I am an aluminum fishing boat with an evinrude.  Spring will come, the ice will melt and I will be free again.  A new life begins.

Until then I wait.  Silent....and cold.

Credits:
Photo from Ashley Dorris

B.O.S Interviews Andy Mapple


Ball of Spray interviewed Andy Mapple.  An enjoyable read and if you need any more reason to check it out, see this quote:
Brent:Do you get spray leg? If so, what do you do about it?

Andy:Yes. I don't ski enough to get it toughened up anymore. I tough it out. I WILL NOT WEAR A SPRAY LEG. Patrice Martin wore a spray leg!!!
Boom.  No spray leg AND calling out CRB favorite Patrice Martin??  Also, note the picture they use to highlight the article...its almost sad if it wasn't so metal.

Credits:
Image via Obrien Website

Sep 14, 2010

CRB Reviews - Syndicate Slalom Ski

Recently the CRB team had the opportunity to head out for a day on the water and rip it up all at expense of someone else, skiing on someone elses dime.  It was fantastic!  We spend the day wearing ourselves out, getting as many ski runs in as we could and blowing through a ton of gas.

That night, however, ODBF's mom found out we stole her credit card and used it to buy gas and wake surfers and beer.  Someone can't take a joke.

However, the CRB staff is one thing if not determined and single minded in focus.  The next day, bright and early, we all got up (because I guess we all live together) and piled into the new CRB Tahoe and decided to take our jobs serious.

On the agenda, test out the Syndicate A1 slalom ski.

So, we ventured to the local pro-shop, where our buddy Anderson was happy to show us this awesome ski.

Our review is going to be totally chronological, with a few thoughts thrown in here and there because this is being written in one take.  WE'LL DO IT LIVE!

We had a couple bloody mary's to loosen up our mind and let us be open to something new, and Anderson was nice and warm to our crew of miscreants who came piling out of our ride like a bunch of drunk goons.  Now, to be perfectly honest, we weren't drunk.  The majority of the CRB staff are wise and responsible when it comes to the booze.  We do, however, do not judge people if they feel like having a couple drinks and being driven around and looking at cool ski gear!



So, our first impression of the ski.

Damn, that looks cool.  and Wow, it feels really light!

Now, in the few years we have been taking care of all your waterski needs via poorly constructed blog posts, we still never really came to a resolution as to the name "Syndicate".

Initially we thought it was a totally new company that sprung up overnight, nabbed some bad-ass skiers and started stomping people.  Then again, Radar is another company like that.  There HAS to be some history there that we don't know about or we haven't researched it or whatever.

None the less, eventually we figured out its part of H.O.  Whoa.  good work Einstein.  How long did that take you?  A minute?  Shut up,  your mom liked it.


Now, with that in our back pocket, we decided that we needed to get some bindings so when we actually got on the water and said "HIT IT" the ski would stay affixed to our feet and not go bobbing off somewhere down the lake like an expensive piece of driftwood while our dumbass's went all mermaid on your ass.

One of the aspects of our sport that has come along way, well...hold on.  Lets rephrase.

One of the aspects of our sports that has changed quite a bit in recent years appears to be what you jam your feet into.  Wakeboards appear to have really captured this, the bindings for a board are stunningly expensive, and that seems to have migrated its way to slalom skis.

Those of you with a minimal amount of business knowledge/acumen will understand that our companies that make our ski gear, from vests to skis to ropes to boats to waterproof fleshlights understand that in the economies of scale aspect of business, things are going to be expensive.  We aren't a major sport, and wise companies go wide in their reach, not niche.

Ugh, our college professor is in our heads right now, admonishing us for being both hungover, late and wicked smart.  Thats right son, how about them apples.

Anyways, we decided to go with the EXO Form Double Cuffs, because, they look BITCHIN!!!!

When we were really young, like, 2 years ago when we were between 16 and 45, and super hot and nubile, one of our best friends had a small ski shop.  It had the best atmosphere ever for a shop.  You always felt at home, you could browse around and check stuff out, talk shop with people, talk people with shop, and probably catch someone sneaking out back to do a J.

It was at this place that we got most of our fashion sense, which is currently regrettable, but an awful lot of our love for the business aspect of the sport.  Just seeing product, stuff, how the personality of the company manifested itself into their product.

You can see this now as well, various companies and how the personality of the company comes through in their product.  We will joke about the various level of douche employed by various companies and even people that we know in the world, know that we are bagging on them as well, but, it is interesting.

So, the Double Cuffs look sweeeeet, and we wanted those.

Here comes the But.

Cost.  We couldn't afford it and don't get free stuff.  So, this is where our review of the product ends from personal experience.  It looked awesome, it had the look we were looking for, but, that doesn't mean a thing unless it performs.

Like your mom.

In all honesty, we still ski on a old-ass Kidder Redline, which we love.  Check out our bizzare Tumblr page and you know we got some love for the Sammy Duvall, and if we remember right he rocked the Kidders.

Hence, our allegiance to this ski.  Now, Kidder has gone through a 100 incarnations and is now known as D3?

We have a bunch of friends who have ridden the new Radars and the D3 and the Syndicates and they are all way beyond our talents.  Fast as hell, turn like mother and accelerate like your "uncle" when your dad gets home.

So, what should you take away from our review?

Two things.

1)  Watch the video above.  Is our boy Marcus Brown not destined for CEO of a ski company?  Dude is locked in on things.  No wonder he is killing it.

2)  We are at such an amazing time in our sport.  We are devising new ways to get our product (both equipment and events) out to a new breed and brand of skiers, we are developing cutting edge products (Goode buoys??  WHAT!!) and have such a bevy of amazing skiers (wakeboard, slalom, jump, kneeboard?, barefoot, and our favorite naked show skiing) that this sport seems primed for a explosive burst of growth.

So, yeah, thats what we took away from simply seeing a Syndicate ski at a shop.  Yes.  Its a tangent, but, if HO wants to send us one for reals?  Hit us up.  We will ride that puppy to the Malibu Open championship next year.

Credits:
Images and Video from HO SPORTS

King of Darkness - Recap Vid

King of Darkness recap vid has been flying around a bit on the twitters today, so I guess we can put it up...and by I guess I mean Hell Yea this is sweet! If this event is anywhere near as cool as the vid makes it look then we may have to make a trek to Michigan again next summer and hit this up.

And Finally A Joke

A CRB fan sent this over to us...and it made us laugh:

A University of Alabama Water Skier named Ed had been trying to graduate for 20 years. He finally went to the dean and said there must be some way he could graduate. The dean agreed and said he would ask him one question at the end of the week. If Ed got it right, he could graduate.

Everyone on the water ski team as well as lots of alumni knew Ed, and word got out about the one-question exam. Since everyone wanted to see Ed graduate, the school decided to ask him the question at the water ski lake. That Friday, the lakeshore was full as Ed and the dean walked to the starting dock.

The dean said: “Here is the question: What is 2+2?”

Ed began to fidget and sweat. He finally said, “Four?”

The whole Alabama water ski team rose to their feet and yelled…………………………


“Give him another chance!”

Sep 13, 2010

Vid Day Monday - Suck It Nascar

Some of you may think that NASCAR is cool (it is) and that you wish you were as quick as the pit crews when fixing your car up...well NASCAR pit crews are like girls playing with Barbies compared to these guys. They tear a jeep down to pieces and rebuilt it in under 4 mins. Pretty impressive, but lets see them do that with my jeep like the guys in that bad neighborhood did...

Vid Day Monday

Normally we are not big fans of slow mo vids, but this one shows how crazy super short line slalom really is. The slack hit he takes off 1 ball and still makes it to 2 ball is nuts, then off 2 ball its a straight up explosion...which is nice...

Vid Day Monday - Don't Shower With Bottle Rockets

This guy is a dick of a roommate...and really funny.


EMBED-Bottle Rockets In The Shower Prank - Watch more free videos

Vid Day Monday - Dolphin Skiing

Billy Susi skies with a dolphin in Turks and Caicos. This would be awesome to do, the CRB has already booked our flights* and will head down there ASAP.
*we are poor so this is totally false

This would be a good ad for Dolphin Wetsuits. And for HO as it appears that Dolphins like twin tip skis.

Vid Day Monday

I had forgotten how awesome this vid was. Aerosmith with subtle lesbian overtones between Liv Tyler and Alicia Silverstone...ahhhh

Sep 12, 2010

Note: another way to get your CRB

Not satisfied with our infrequently frequent updating of the CRB? Well, book mark our new endeavor, CRB TUMBLR

What can you expect?  Pics, videos, quotes, etc, that somehow, maybe, tangetially apply to waterskiing.  Or just things that aren't CRB worthy but, make us laugh, or inspire, or whatever happens to trip our trigger.

Enjoy your day.

Sep 11, 2010

CRB Brings the Sexy - Bar Wins

Normally we would put a bunch of words here but we want to look at this pic for awhile so we will shut up.



Bar 1
All other women 0



and...done

Sep 9, 2010

Holy Sweet Tricks

Not sure how soon we will be seeing these tricks in runs but wow do they kick ass.



Could say more about this vid but Nick explains it all in his obvious contempt for the TC. Not really sure why this would have been declined back in 2005 but these trick as long as Dylan Schaffers back to back front flip show that maybe the new powers that be in trick skiing are a bit more open minded. Lets hope this leads to some more excitement for trick skiing!

Sep 8, 2010

BREAKING NEWS!! THIS VIDEO IS HOT

This video was brought to our attention by a noted worldwide playboy named Anonomous in our comment section of, oh, who cares. watch.



sorry ladies who read this site, which we know number in the thousands, but...

Dear Lord,
Well played son.
Regards,
CRB Male Staff Members

ha. We said Staff.

haha! We said Members.

Lake Trout Carry Out - Emo Edition

Morning lake trout is our attempt at keeping you all a bit more informed of what is going on in the waterski world. We will attempt to post one of these every morning, but expect it to be more like once a year or so. Thats way more our style


Dates for snow ski and snowboard events are popping up on some websites. Screw you winter!

Somewhere in Penn or Ohio some ski club put on a labor day ski show. Labor day is fun cuz you get an extra day off work, but labor day sucks cuz it means summer is over. Summer being over makes us sad and instead of drinking and grilling out we all gathered together and cried all weekend.

A reoccurring theme in lake trouts seems to be new cable parks going up around the world. And the newest one is in Houston. Houston is a big sprawling mess of traffic and poor city planning. So yea...take that all you people that can ski year round. jerks.

A few years back a buddy told me how cool these Kite Tube things were. I looked at them once and said "people will get hurt or die, that thing is dangerous". Well the ODBF is never wrong* and several people died and lots of peeps got hurt. And surprise surprise the company that made them went belly up. Here is the bankruptcy filing info.

*50% of the time ODBF is right every time

There was a figure 8 barefoot tournament called the "clean lakes festival barefoot tournament" and heres a bunch of great pics of people smacking their faces on the water. Face plants are fun, you should all try it.


If you want to feel all warm and fuzzy about how there are still good people out there this link should help.

We have linked to the Waterskiing Wikipedia page before in hopes that someone...HORTON...would apply their waterski dorkness to the page and make it not so lame, but no one has and that makes us sad.

Marcus Brown postponed MarcusBrown.TV on Monday because everyone was drunk (or crying like the CRB staff). Or it could be because the CRB staff has been terrible at getting our act together. Either or...

Sep 6, 2010

Vid Day Monday - Lets Eat a GD Snack

I want Rex Ryan to be my dad.

Vid Day Monday - Dog Ski

What should you do if you have a bunch of Siberian Huskies laying around your house? GO SKIING! WOOOOOOOT!!

Vid Day Monday - Skittle Rain

Double back flip on a wheel chair? ehhh
Skittle rain? HELL YEAZ!!!!
This guy is freaking awesome. Dude lands on his head about 57 times but keeps giving it hell, if I had that kind of dedication maybe I would be a better skier. But if I crash a jump I go to the bar, get drunk, and cry for 5 hours.

Sep 4, 2010

CRB Brings the Sexy

So the Rowboat Abides posted this vid once, probably right before his 7th heart attack, and its so damn good that we are going to post it again.

Seat girls - RJ41 Productions from RJ41 on Vimeo.



This vid contains 2 of the top 3 favorites here at the CRB: Girls in bikinis and Johnny Cash. Now if someone out there in the internet lands wants to make a vid of the CRB girls skiing in bikinis and set it to Johnny Cash we would be much obliged. But that is dangerous, it might cause the internet to explode.

Sep 3, 2010

Carl Roberge FTW

Back in the days of 72 inch jump skis there was one man who was determined to prove to the world that he could blow the fuck up off the ramp better then anyone else. And Carl Roberge proves that in this vid.

We were going to save this vid for Monday, but its just to awesome to wait.

Lake Trout Carry Out

Morning lake trout is our attempt at keeping you all a bit more informed of what is going on in the waterski world. We will attempt to post one of these every morning, but expect it to be more like once a year or so. Thats way more our style

This story is barely related to skiing, but some politician in Arkansas is all pissed at another politician for some reason that involves one guy having the following kick ass house, a pontoon and a ski boat. I think the first guy is a loser that does not live on a lake which means he sucks.


Kneeboarding still has tournaments? When the hell did this happen? I figured all the guys from the 80s not being able to walk anymore would have proven that kneeboarding is a terrible idea. Of course on that same theme we still have wakeboarding and look at what that does to knees. So I guess what I'm saying is avoid any sport that has 'boarding' in the name. Skateboarding is for young punks that cause problems anyways.

Speaking of wakeboarding; Rusty Malinoski dominated some Canadian event that I would care about if I did not hate Canada with a passion. Its time we defend our nation from those imperialistic canucks!! TO WAR!!!

Another very sad story of a wakeboarder getting killed on the lake. This time I will not blame a dumb wakeboard boat driver or anything of the sort, so lay off the angry emails...Public lakes can be crazy places so people you all need to WATCH WHAT THE FUCK YOUR DOING!!!

Marcus Brown has always been a leading figure in the fashion world and he continues to rule the world fashion scene with his cutting edge sense of style with this amazingly red...thing...oh and he talks about skiing with Terry Winter.


This story is terribly written, just awful. Not only do you read it and end scratching your head wondering what the hell the author was smoking but also what is she talking about. Did this team win a tournament, or was it just some guys out jumping, who else competed...WTF. Not that I am one to talk as my writing style has been described as a cross between the author of this article and the writing of a dead guy.

Tales from the foot is a great site for getting news from around the barefoot world and the past few weeks have been the heart of the barefoot season. So they have tons of vids and cool ass pics all over the place right now.

I pity the fool

Who doesn't love this video/song.  Its the number one summer jam.



So good.

Sep 1, 2010

FIRE HEHE FIRE

This jump was apparently mad that someone would hit it while on shoe skis and so it burned them up. YAY FIRE

Tollywood Vid Day Wednesday

This will probably not be a reacuring feature on the CRB, not because we don't like India's Telegu language film industry, but because Tollywood just does not sound as cool as Bollywood.

hehe, I said wood...

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...