Sep 27, 2011

Freddy meets Freddy

To the right is a screen cap of the Wiki page for Freddy Krueger, champion jumper, rescuer of small kittens and all around bad-ass.

Look close!  You can tell CRB is powered by mac!

Note, this is pretty much his entire wiki entry, see for yourself!, it basically says in the first paragraph, dude born in 1975, he has the world record and he is better then you are.

This is how a Wiki entry should be, no fluff, no nonsense, just in your face bad ass facts.

Not sure where his LA Night Jam action is, but, thats an impressive resume anyways.

When the CRB is done in 45 years, we want our wiki entry to say,

Started as Green Boathouse.
Verified best website ever.
People got pregnant just googling for it, even dudes...and mice.

How great would that be??

Freddy appears, to us anyways, as a person of few words and hella action.  This could be way way off course, but, either he is of a certain style or has maybe cultivated a certain mystique around him that lends itself to such bad-ass-ary.  Sure, having a name that is pretty much the exact same as a creepy movie guy doesn't hurt, but, really, if you were to sketch out on your etch-a-sketch the type of jump career wouldn't you want his?

yeah, i will just jump over this paddock area real quick.  No, I still want those pancakes, just hold on real quick.  Oh! a side of bacon would really be great.  Coffee?  sure.  Hey, can you whip up a quick egg-white omelet with a smack of ham?  thanks.  xoxo
Just start off blowing up all over the damn place, crashing like a maniac, reigning that in and then just going on a stretch of domination that leads waterski mag to anoint you the best jumper ever?  (not sure if there is a link for that, but, its in this months mag...also listing CRB as best waterski website ever..true story)

Anyways, Freddy seems to pick his spots to speak his mind, note LA Night Jam II (3rd paragraph from the end of that obscenely long post)

We did wonder, has Freddy ever actually spoken to Freddy?  The original nightmare guy?  We put our staff onto it, checking microfilm, microfiche and whatever else stupid things they use in movies to make it look like someone is researching.  We failed to turn anything up, so, we decided, hey! lets be un-original and pretend that they talked to each other!  Lets skype in and see.

Bloop bloop!

Lauryn Eagle is Awesome

Not you, not you, and not you
Have you ever had an Irish Car Bomb?  The Shot? For those who don't know, its a shot where you mix (basically) Guiness, Baileys and Jameson.  Here, explain.
Add the Bailey's and Jameson to a shot glass, layering the Bailey's on the bottom. Pour the Guinness into a pint glass or beer mug 3/4 of the way full and let settle. Drop the shot glass into the Guinness and chug. If you don't drink it fast enough it will curdle and increasingly taste worse.
Right? Sounds pretty weird, the ingredient by themselves are, in order,

1) Jameson - Delicious
2) Guiness - Decent
3) Bailey's - No thanks

This is basically Lauryn Eagle.  She is an Irish Car Bomb.  She Ski Races, she Boxes and she is hot.  So...

1) Hot - Delicious
2) Ski Racing - Decent
3) Boxing - No thanks

The other weekend at the World Titles in Australia Lauryn, we guess, took a break from kicking other girls ass's directly into the ground to go out and race around at a billion miles an hour behind a crazy boat in order to win many many plates of bbq chicken nachos.  Delicious with sliced jalepenos!

(Don't forget sour cream and guacamole!  And your AP Style book!  Cha Cha!!)

I am going to assume you are going to write nice things about me, I would hate to murder you with my fists

Unfortunately things did not go so well for her as she wiped out like crazy.  Of note, we would love to link to, and/or copy paste the results, but, shit is really hard to decipher.  Are they skiing in teams? Gah.

From best we can decern, they have four heat races which accumulate into your final score, those with the highest points win!  How you accumulate points in a speed race?  Beats me!!!

In the Open Women category - tee hee - Lauryn took seventh overall, failing to get points in race two and four, totaling 1677.77, with Katelin Wendt taking first with 3984.05.

Katelin, btw, also has a second life, a mysterious past even and is hired to go to seedy, rowdy bars and take over as the bouncer and whip it into shape while also bringing down evil people, doing weird karate and smoking.  (link to a real interview)

Its French!  Pronounced moo-lei!  I will five-finger death punch you!
Not really, but she may actually punch you in the face.  The five finger death punch?  Thats more of a bitchin band, actually.

At CRB HQ we really really tried to watch the web cast of the event, honestly we did, but, it was spotty (it went in and out)...(hahaha, yeah it did), and it was our one night away from our kids so we had to go out to Chili's for some mega-extreme shrimp poppers and a vodka cranberry, so we missed it.

Waterski Mag even went out of their way to retweet the links and everything for the event, and it did really stoke our interest.  Waterski Racing is a tough ass sport to get behind (lol, thats what she said), because its hard to understand the point.

Granted, all sports are that way, but, the concept of strapping someone to a mega-fast boat and racing in circles seems, how do we say this....nuts??  Crazy??  Bonkers??  No...none of those work.

Odd.  Yeah, thats the right word.  Odd.  Odd is the proper descriptive term for this sport.  We do not hold anything against anyone who does this (unless you are lucky) but it just seems odd.  We have said for awhile now that we want to know more.

Never the less, to our eyes and ears Lauryn appears to be the face of this sport, maybe?  maybe not, we don't know, we dont know enough about anything to make that distiction, but, she has graced our pages before so, why not?

In all honesty, there is so much that we have to learn about this aspect of the sport, this niche part that, what the hell, maybe this is the best place to start.

Maybe we can twitter ourselves some Lauryn and do our first CR-binterview and ask her why, what, who, how and WTF about her 1/2 of chosen sports.

Untill then, take a peek at her wiping out and know that, yes, we have all fallen really hard jumping, or barefooting or trick sking or whatever, but, we doubt anything as epic as this.


She's Got Some Ticker This Girl!!

Exactly How We Remember

fuck yeah
The spiritual god father of the CRB is, of course, Jack Daniels...however, his right hand man is Patrice Martin.
This dude is sick, one of the best skiers of all-time, and just goes out and crushes runs like a maniac.

Serious, do yourself a favor and read this entire post and watch the videos at the end, or youtube some patrice and see how much of a beast this guys is.

His trick runs are the stuff of legend, wiping out, getting back up, toe-turning on like a boss.

That's not the point of this post, however, when we were little and when waterski events were shown on regular tv as opposed to small boxes on our computers, there was one dude who always seemed to be exerting so much effort for a slalom run that it was insane.

His 1,3,5 buoys, left foot forward, is that on-side?  off-side?  whatever, would appear to dunk his entire damn body and then just rocket to the other side of the wake.

lead a workshop, send some faxes, talk to corporate, shit on debra's desk
Of course, maybe it was all an act because he had the Girls That Fly waiting for him on shore waiting to feed him grapes and serve pitchers of wine and massage his feet, but, god damn it was awesome to watch.

Interestingly enough, there are like three men skiers from the olden days that we remember, Sammy, Carl and Patrice and Sammy has his thing in Orlando, but, Carl and Patrice must be just big pimping somewhere out there in the world.  Probably trafficking weapons or squashing religious uprisings or developing commercial high-rises or something.  Seriously doubt pimps like this go find a cube somewhere, bash away at spreadsheets and cold calls and listen to i-tunes all day long.

That would be a tragedy.

Oh, have you missed his insane trick run?  Here, put this into your brain and use this as motivation when you don't feel like getting out of bed, or taking that extra set.


Sep 26, 2011

Vid Day Monday

This play has two awesome parts to it. First off is the amazing punt return and the lateral at the perfect time, second is the awful missed call on ruffing the punter. Seriously, if a kicker is touched and falls down its a penalty, the return should have been nullified and the punting team should have gotten the ball back and moved 15 yards down field with a first down...but its D3 so the refs were probably chatting about crack and hookers...or whatever small town people talk about...cows and sheep I guess?

Vid Day Monday

This new show about waterskiing is freaking awesome!

What do you mean its not about waterskiing?

Its people going around killing zombies with an assortment of weapons...DO I HAVE TO DRAW YOU A MAP?

Vid Day Monday

You guessed it, more Go Pro. Also more 3 event, because that is where its at. word

Sep 24, 2011

CRB Brings the Sexy

We have been a bit lazy with our CRB Brings the Sexy this summer, but we have an excuse, we were out skiing*.

*hungover and sleeping

But we are back with this instructional video on the terms used in rugby. Rugby? you may be asking yourself...

Shut the hell up and watch the vid, damn you guys are needy.

The CRB is no longer a waterski and nonsense blog, we are now strictly a rugby website...and nonsense...and skiing.

Sep 22, 2011

Boom It Like You Mean It

There are those days where you sit and look at a glass come lake and think "I have got to bust out the slalom ski and tear that shit up." other days its "Hellz to the Yeaz lets get our footing on". This vid is one of those other days.

Sometimes you just need to get out on the boom and tear it up footing and doing things that you will never be able to do long line. Or at least the CRB crew will never do long line...

Thanks to Danny for the vid.

Sep 20, 2011

The Wrecking Crew Brings You The Top 20

The CRB has again been disapointed by the voters of the NCWSA and their complete disregard for the realities of college waterskiing in this country. The Hope College Wrecking Crew has again been left off the NCWSA top 20 poll.

Hope College, the pride of Michigan, the power house of all things college sports, and the premier waterski team in the nation has again recieved no votes from the high and mighty voters...

wait...whats that you say?


Votes Also Receiving Votes

Who is in first this week? Who the F cares!! HOPE BABY ALL THE WAY.

Ok...on to the, so called, NCWSA top 20.

Top 6...7...hell whatever
ULM hopped over ULL, but they both have yet to field and ski their full teams, but both have proved again that the top two spots will again stay in LA unless they slip up and another team really steps it up.

Florida Southern comes in at 3rd with fellow Florida school Rollins on their heels. Rollins got the nodd over the Tide even though both teams did not field their full squad and Rollins lost both head to head match ups with the Florida Southern.

Bama rounds out the big 5, but in our view is one spot below where they should be.

The big surprise of the new poll is the team that the University of LaCrosse fielded this week. UWL has often fielded a solid team but have never pulled it together in the midwest, looks like they have this year. Apperantly their mascot is and Eagle, but thats wrong as we are pretty sure it is a guy with a V-neck shirt, a spray on tan, axe body spray, and gel in his hair. We could be mistaken...

Tied for 6th with the UW Lacrosse bros is ASU who did not compete last weekend so we have yet to see what they really hold in their arsenal.

Rest of the pack

Purdue and UW Madison both dropped down the ranks from 6th-8th and 7th-11th respectavly while the Bears of Missouri State moved up two spots. Iowa and Grand Valley State both jumped into the top 20 with a solid showings. Ohio State dropped 6 spots when they were a no show at week one in the midwest. While Iowa State and Cincinnati both dropped down to a tie for 20th. Iowa State needs women while Cincinnati needs guys, I see a merger in the future...not really...

South Central
Texas State jumped up 6 spots to 9th, while Texas A&M dropped 2 to 12th and Texas dropped 6 to 17th.

Clemson did not show all they can do in the first week and still jumped 8 spots up to 10th. Solid showing and good to see another school from the East stepping it up this year.

The West saw Cal Poly and Chico state both fall off the big board but added UC Davis at a respectable 13. Right now though the West is looking like the weakest region, which is a surprise considering how well they have done at nationals in years past. The west and Midwest like to switch off who wins All stars every year so you know they have the talent out there, just need to get it rolling.

And finally

Sep 19, 2011

Vid Day Monday

This guy is awesome. I think SNL needs to bring him in two days ago, he could do the whole show just talking like this and by the end of the show every TV set in america would be watching. But seriously, SNL sucks something awful now.

"Reality hits you hard bro..."

Preach it brotha, preach the truth!

Vid Day Monday - Off Sport

And that is a problem how...

New Womens WR in Tricks

Story out of Florida is that Clem has broke the World Record in tricks and broken the 10,000 point mark. The first women to break 10k points. The last couple years have seen some giant strides in the womens trick event, Larson held the record for years and it always seemed just a step out of everyones reach, once it fell it has been topped multiple times, most recently by Natalia Birdnakava and Clem.

This vid of Clementine Lucine is not the new record, this was posted early in the summer but since we cant find vid of the new record this will have to do. Once those lazy French quit surrendering and post the vid we will put it up. Of course this was done at Pickos ski school so no idea why it is the responsibility of the French to post this, but...whatever, they are an easy target.

Also the Overall record fell with scores of 5.5@38 off, 163' jump and 10040 points in tricks. Clem just keeps getting better, expect many more records from this girls career. You can also expect us to post more pics of her in a bikini cuz she has a wicked body. Our sport rules.

Vid Day Monday

Trophy Lakes is known throughout our sport as one of the best, if not the best, slalom lake in the world. More records have been set there then any other site in the world. Something about the mineral makeup of the water or something like that. It is also the location of the first ever full pass at 41 off in 1996 by Jeff Rogers. And now it is the location of another Jeff Rogers record, 4@41off at 34 mph, or the new Masters Mens record.

Vid Day Monday

This vid is pretty sick, Go Pro has opened up a whole new world of possibilities for the budding vidographer. No idea who this guy is, but he tears it up like a badass. Keep up the good work man!

Sep 15, 2011

8 Year Old Kid Makes Me Feel Silly

The title of this video says it all. I quit all action sports as of today. It's not worth it, I'll never catch up anymore.

Sep 14, 2011

Which is Better, Christmas or Water Ski Season?

What’s up water ski world? This is your West Coast voice of collegiate skiing and do you know what blows about this upcoming fall season? I’m once again, not in it... That’s right my friends, I’m done skiing in NCWSA tourneys for good and even worse, done with college. Don’t get me wrong, I actually dig this real world thing more than most people said I would, but that doesn’t change the fact that I was NOT skiing or partying in Chico this weekend at what was pretty much the most kick-ass event in the state of California at the time (read that: in the world).

You’re probably thinking, “Lifejacket, if you weren’t there dude, how do you know how kick-ass it was?” Extrapolation buddy - if every collegiate water ski event I attended was one of the best experiences of my life, there’s a good chance this one would have been as well. Now what specifically happened this fine weekend at Chico's very own Sky Lake? Well this is what probably, most-likely happened...

...on second thought, I'll leave that one to your own imagination. Happy collegiate water ski season!

Sep 13, 2011


If your wondering that is the space shuttle in the back ground. This would have freaking ruled to do. Except for the part where I would have pissed my pants.

Sep 12, 2011

Vid Day Monday

We went out to the Global invitational back in July and saw this kid run 5.5@41 after driving all morning, hoping out of his car and putting his ski on. He is a freak of nature and we are amazed he has not tied or beaten the record yet. If Nate stays healthy and keeps training he will be a power for years in this sport.

The end of this clip is great, just skis up next to the boat all "Hey guys! How you doin'?"

Thanks to Tony Lightfoot for this vid

Vid Day Monday

People argue that trick skiing is a discipline on its way out. Tell that to Alex Poteau, he will probably throw a mobe and kick you in the face. You would deserve it for being a slalom sissy anyways.

Thanks to Tony Lightfoot for the vid

Vid Day Monday

I have wake skated a couple times, I fall somewhere into the category of bad to just quit and save us hours of time spent picking up your dumb ass that falls all over the place. These guys on the other hand freaking dominate. Plus the video is incredibly well done. So watch it, even you 3 eventers will watch this and think to yourselves that this shit is sweet.

NOISIA VISION from Patrick Wieland on Vimeo.

Vid Day Monday

I am going to bet you are sitting at your computer in your normal manner* thinking to yourself: "ODBF, why is there a snow skiing video on the CRB, its only the start of September, its not winter yet." Well first off, it is winter in the southern hemisphere where this vid is from...B) There has already been frost on the ground here, so I will reiterate my out right hatred for all of you that live in places where you can ski year round...And fourth of all, its the CRB we do what we want, go us!

*Sitting in the basement of your moms house, eating Cheetos and getting the cheese all over the mouse, while sitting in your underwear.

Vid Day Monday

Kinda cool to see a Go Pro camera in use for most of a ski show. Gives you a good view of what its like on the water. Looks like this was a small show for the Mad-City Ski Team. Credit

Sep 11, 2011

Top 20 is Wrong

So the NCWSA preseason top 20 came out late last week. And we have to say we agree with none of it. This may be the worst poll in the history of all sports polls.

We have to ask WHERE THE HELL IS THE HOPE WRECKING CREW????!!!???111???eleven???

Come on, they have a big anchor on their campus, that right there gets them in the top 5. AND THEY ARE THE DAMN WRECKING CREW! I know what the voters are saying, but ULL won nationals last year...yea yea yea, that was due to all the haters getting together and disqualifying the wrecking crew so there would be some competition.

Quick rundown on this deeply flawed poll.

South Central has 5 teams in the top 20. That would be 5 out of...7 or 8 teams in the region, pretty good percentage. But considering most of the lakes in Texas are dry or currently on fire so they may have some issues with practicing. The Louisiana teams are as usual the dominant forces in skiing. They are also good examples of how the NCWSA is not a balanced sport in the least. Nothing against them, its awesome that the schools support the teams, would be nice to see other schools step up...but its not going to happen anytime soon, sooo it wont be a surprise when one of them win again this year.

East region has 3 teams in the top 20 and they also have the only team outside of Louisiana that has any shot at being the first team since ASU to take the championship away from LA. Alabama is bringing the strongest mens trick team the NCWSA has probably ever seen along with solid scores in the other mens events. Womens team is not a strong but still should put it up there. One event is not enough to take it all home though, so the Tide will need to step it up to get above 3rd. The word is that Rollins will be solid, we will see about that. Florida Southern will fight for 3rd at nationals with Alabama if bama slips at all.

West region is still led by ASU but it sounds like they will not be as strong as they long have been, but the rest of the region does not have a true stand out team to knock them off the top of the region. Cal Poly and Sac State could ski well and take the top seed from the west away from Arizona for the first time in many years.

The Midwest region has the most teams of any region and also has the most teams in the top 20. The Midwest has been the most competitive region in the nation for many years now. Few true standouts but always a good level of talent that makes for some very interesting tournament results. Likely Purdue, UW Madison and Ohio State will take the top 3 spots to nationals, the excitment will be the fight for D-2. Wisconsin might send two teams to nationals for the first time with the surprising strength of UW Larosse and their womens team.

But none of this matters as Hope will take it all again this year. So stop wasting your time and just admit that none of this matters when the wrecking crew is still around. Or possibly the new team forming at Palm Beach Atlantic might give them a run for their money...

10 years

Don't really need to say anything here.


Sep 9, 2011

You Have Too Much GD Money

any douche in the world could say something stupid like, "that guys rules" or "whatever hater" or other such crap.


Lets be real. Dude probably has a fake Cobra, in the basement of his house and decides to do some donuts around a pole. Thats the extent of it.

You sir, probably have more money then the CRB...not much...but more then we do. However, we are smarter than you are, we do not waste our money on idiotic investments like you do. Oh! Shit just got real, didn't it?

No, our shit is in the market, in bonds, in angel investment opportunities, etc etc. These offices don't pay for themselves and we don't waste our resources on foolish nonsense (CRB cooler not withstanding). No, we plan on being wealthy as FUCK in a few years, so we will be not wasting our resources on foolish items like a fake cobra.

Play the game son, and play it right.

Sep 8, 2011

Fish Sky FIsh Sky

The U-21 world championship went on last weekend, our boy Tony Lightfoot must have been there or had minions doing work for him because via the Waterski Broadcasting company comes this awesome video of Johan Efverstrom (ever-strom?) eating it on a slalom ski.

Two things about this video.

1)  We may not be up to snuff on slalom ski technology, but, how is it possible that he didn't come out of the ski?  Is it safer this way?  Seems dangerous, but, at the same time, if your feet don't come out at all it must be safer then, say, just one coming out right?

2)  The announcers.  That is EXACTLY how we would have announced it as well.  "OHHHHH!!!"

3)  Watch real close, Johan holds on to the rope till the very very last second, which is pretty metal, but, totally adds to the whip factor of his dome piece being smashed off the water.

D)  Does ending up where he did, does that get you an extra 1/4 buoy or anything?

4)  This picture is legit.  Like a half submerged whirlybird.

Go like the Water Ski Broadcasting on the facebooks for more greatness.  (link)

Sep 6, 2011

Pic Day Tuesday?

Its Tuesday, we are all still hungover and this is the CRB so there are no rules. So how about an awesome pic of Freddy about to dominate the crap out of the ramp.

Speaking of hangovers...if anyone wants to send some pepto to us we would be very thankful. You can send it to

C/O the interwebz

Vid Day Tuesday?

Well there was no Vid Day Monday as the ODBF decided to go on vacation to a place with no interwebz. He is kinda a jerk like that. Instead we will have a Vid Day Tuesday, because old fat bass fishermen love them some videos of waterskiing.

We start off with some single ski freestyle jumping from the Malibu Open.

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...