Dec 28, 2007

Another Slalom Video

"The fine folks who brought you "Edged in Water" seem to be up to their old tricks.... ummm, whatever, guess its by some peeps that go by the name h20osmosis, or something. Anyways, they have posted a trailer to a new video, "Momentum" on the youtubes.

Some neat camera angles and whatever, but, seriously, how much slaloming can you watch before you get sort of bored with watching a guy going back and forth and back an.....OH SHIT, check out the 1:20 mark for a wicked wipeout!!!

oh, and at 2:52 is a really unique shot of a jump.

O.K, maybe we will withhold judgement for awhile.

Dec 24, 2007

Merry Fudging Christmas

Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.


Mr. Parker: Dadgummit! Blow out!
[on the highway, the car has gotten a flat tire]
Mr. Parker: Ah ha!
[excitedly gets out of the car]
Mother: Not again.
Mr. Parker: Four minutes. Time me.

Hell Yeah!!!

Ralphie: Oooh fuuudge!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
Mr. Parker: [stunned] *What* did you say?
Ralphie: Uh, um...
Mr. Parker: That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] It was all over - I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me.

Merry Christmas Y'all.

Dec 21, 2007

Bending the Time/Space Continuum

Is that even possible? How could the future be now, would that not be the present? Maybe there is some sort of double future that we are not aware of and only D3 knows about.

But, if that was the case and the double future is the current would be the present...


Dec 20, 2007

The Rad Jump Vid

Hopefully you guys have seen the vid that Rykert posted on his site, its rad, so....hey, i nabbed it from him and its rad here too.

Also, please give us some more suggestions for a new contact vehicle.

Rad Vid: Rykert's lake of sin

Dec 19, 2007


Every good thing has to come to an end eventually. Whether its a good day on the water, a relationship or even your favorite book/porn magazine.

Eventually there is an end, and for the contact Chevette that day is coming soon.

Maybe you guys can help us out, what would make a better contact vehicle then our current one?

El Camino? Front-end loader? Baby Panda?

We will be shopping soon...

Dec 18, 2007

Anyone up for a little Vacay?

Welcome boys and girls to the tourism arm of the CRB empire. Yes, we are now officially endorsing Brazil as the vacation destination of all of our highly High readers and admirers.

As your new vacation planners, may we suggest one of these following places for your ultimate waterski adventure.
  1. Salvador de Bahia
  2. Búzios
  3. Rio de Janeiro
  4. Wherever the hell that girl lives
Now, we have some reservations against going to Rio de Janerio, seeing as they fucking hate Santa Claus, but, if that girl is somewhere in that may be worth it.

Water Ski Vacation Rental:

Dec 13, 2007

The CRB Tow Vehicle

Thankfully, after about two years of the CRB we have totally made so much damn money that we are thinking about upgrading our current tow vehicle.

Our current thought is the vehicle on the right here, the Mack Truck thing that our favorite tuner man is putting together.

However, the question is, what the hell do people drive and tow their boats with?

Shit cost so much damn money these days that how can anyone actually afford to haul a boat around, pay for gas, buy ski shit and actually have time to ski after working 100 jobs to be able to afford this shit?

Think about it.

Its like 60,000 for a damn boat, at least 30,000 for a decent truck and fucking $3.00 a gallon for gas. Its insane.

A basketball costs like 30 bucks.

Maybe the CRB should actually be the Creaky Tennis Shoes, the CTS.

Damn...thats allready taken by a fucking 50,000 car.

Dec 7, 2007

This Isn't Nam


Guess the USA Waterski peeps, the wily minx that they are, have posted the awesome NSSA Rulebook online. gets better.


Get Some!!!

Dec 4, 2007

USA Waterski is After Our Hearts

It starts innocently enough, you meet at a bar and share a flirty smile, then you maybe share a tasty cocktail or whatever, and you play the cat and mouse game for awhile hoping that the other person gives you some sign that they dig you.

Well, the USA Waterski folks must think we are in that same game right now, as they are breaking out the heavy artillery to get some of the CRB love.

And what are they trying to tease us with?

Well, none other the #1 CRB heart throb Dallas Friday, as they named her Athlete of the Month!

Notice, she isn't a November Athlete.

Those USA Waterski peeps, they sure are a clever bunch!

It would be unnecessary to go over all of her accomplishments, from winning every trophy available, to skiing entirely without a femur any more, to rescuing a stray puppy from certain death by flinging a prototype wakeboard / boomerang out the window with a small carabiner attached to clipped on the dogs collar and flew the dog/wakeboard/boomerang combo back through the window where she fed the dog premium dog food and champagne.

Oh how our heart flutters!!

oh...and this guy, Andrew Adkison, was the dude of the month...whatev man.

Dallas : USA Waterski

The Lost Article

Posted below is the lost article that was written by a CRB Minion. It was/is supposed to be published in one of the fine student newspapers at the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee, or, "not Madison" for short. Enjoy.


Something stronger than simple sport takes place every year for Collegiate Waterskiiers. A pilgrimage to experience something that goes deeper then simple competition. For the members of the UWM Ski Team, it is a force that grabs hold
and sees them drive 16 hours to an event they didn't even get to compete in.

"The atmosphere is totally unbelievable, everyone is so nice," Freshman Christa Selner said. "Honestly, it is one of those things you need to experience first hand in order to completely understand it"

That atmosphere is the Collegiate Waterski Nationals. This yearly tournament is set at the prestigious Bennett Ski School in Louisiana, and pits the best collegiate Waterski teams against one another.

The spectacular site, featuring two specially built lakes, saw hordes of competitors and spectators alike, camping out for days. Family, friends, and teammates cheered on the skiers, celebrated outstanding accomplishments, and consoled any disappointments.

The tournament itself features athletes from all across the nation, competing in the ultimate test of team and individual ability, the water-ski 3-event format. Jumpers would routinely soar to distances well over 100 feet, slalom skiers would carve up the water maneuvering around a six-buoy course, and trick-skiers would contort, twist and flip in a stunning display of grace and power.

3-Event skiing is the oldest and most storied format in waterskiing today; combing elements of power, grace and skill into one overall package. Jump entails a skier to go off of a five and a half foot ramp as the boat pulls them at up to 32 mph. However, some skiers can generate speeds as great as 70 mph prior to their jumps. Slalom consists of a skier using a single ski and skiing through a course with six staggered buoys, three on each side, which the skier must weave between at varying boat speeds and rope lengths. Trick skiing involves a skier doing tricks, such as flips and spins, in a specific amount of time.

For the members of the UWM Waterski team, this trip was not about being able to compete, it was out of love for the sport, and the ability to share in the experience with fellow competitors. The experiences will serve them well as they pursue the dream of competing along side the likes of powerhouse waterski programs like University of Louisiana – Monroe, University of Louisiana – Lafayette and Arizona State.

Not only that, the sport of Waterskiing is one of the few sports where amateur and pro athletes alike mingle and socialize.

“I have been a basketball fan my whole life and never met Michael Jordan.” said Ski Team founder, and coach, Tristan Hansen, “Yet I have met Freddy Krueger, the world record holder for jump [skiing], and talked to him several times.”

Act the NCWSA Nationals, UWM skiers were standing on the sidelines with pro skiers like Natalia Berdnikova, this years NCWSA Women’s overall Champion and the 2007 U.S. Masters Jump Champion, and Will Asher, the World Waterski Slalom Champion.

"When I joined the team, I couldn't even ski! I fell off the ramp and made a fool of myself, but as soon as I got in, I was hooked," said team captain Steve Krezminski. "I was hooked because everyone was standing on shore cheering for me. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I still suck, and everyone is still on shore cheering me on. It's like a family. You totally get hooked. I went from not skiing three years ago, to this being my life."

The waterski club has been around for a few years, and though they are a competitive club, they strongly push that they are there to promote the sport and have a good time.

"You don't have to be a good skier, or even know how to ski to join the club. We'll teach you. All you need is a desire to have a good time" says John Weber, the club president.

Their season is in the fall and spring, and they train throughout the summer. The tournaments are a total blast, as I was able to experience first hand. It was nothing like I could have ever imagined. I expected rivalries and hostility between teams and competitors, but instead, witnessed an incredible sense of unity and equality. It was touching to see beginners receive the same praise and applause as those who have been skiing for years and have won numerous titles and competitions.

Sadly, this article can't really give you the full image of the team. If you are interested in knowing more, check out the website or email the club at

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...