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Showing posts from 2017

Nut Huggin

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The Lament / The Regret / The Ascent

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Things happen sometimes Sometimes its the right reason Sometimes its just life Desire, passion Nothing to bill collectors push aside to live Life can seem unfair Its a part of you That provides the energy For everything else But its now shadows Collecting dust in the shed Thats where the fun sits Life can seem unfair Ego comes from lake Identity swirls in blue  The tough transition The burn is alive The strive to achieve still burns That burn is on low Life can seem unfair Boat was in garage Boat was replaced by real life Boat was sold to friend Skis collecting dust Old wetsuits stored in basement The fire dims...slightly Life can seem unfair Priorities change Satisfaction comes different You're still there for me I've put you aside For a moment, for a spell Chill for a second Life can seem unfair The things that mattered What gave you purpose and life They are c

Smooth Move Thomas

Damn, its too rough to ski today

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This is Interstate 10 in Houston. We joke about this but in all honesty we hope everyone stays safe in Houston, SE Texas and other areas affected by this storm. The massive amount of water that has been dumped and is still falling is mind boggling.

Malibu Open Moves To Trophy Lakes

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Earlier this week, word started to leak out that the Malibu Open, the only real big 3-event tournament, and/or non-show ski tournament held in the mid-west, was cancelled because of an algae bloom in the little lake in downtown milwaukee that it was held.  This sucks for those of us who really like big time waterski tournaments held in more public locations. If you are one of those who prefer a private location with no public interest, then...well, the rest of this isn't for you. But, before we get to far, lets take a quick look at the beauty that is the Malibu Open. Event director and all around powerhouse April Coble Eller getting it done at the #MalibuOpen @cobleski #SeaDek #SeaDeked A post shared by SeaDek Marine Products (@seadek) on Aug 28, 2015 at 9:49am PDT Do you see that?  Thats profesional level skiing in a downtown location!  In a major city! Why is this important??  Why should this matter to all of us??? Because the Malibu Open has been hel

Hey Man, Whats Up?

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yooooooooooooo!!!!!, ive been out here for years.  eating berries and shit.  do you have any idea how long i have been alone?  covering these woods looking for food? i can barely use capital letters.  shoot, when i saw you driving down the river...i just got a huge skate boner bro.   sorry to wreck your chill sesh.  christ, you should see my pubes.  its like a jewish holiday down there.   people be hanging lights and what not  oh, thats not..whatever brah.  you got ta try this dank.  your ass will be low iq for hours.  its amazing.   oh. my. god, you have cheez its in there?  lemme get a taste...ive been killing and eating wild life for like i dont know, 9 years,  just to get by, its some into the wild type life stuff going on brah you ever had fried bird.  its rank but gets you feelings brah.  what? yeah.   watch out for that log my dude.   no, i didn't mean it that way, cmon man, ive been out in the wild for so long, i dont even

The Masters Recap Vid

Marcus Brown dropped another really good vid, love the stuff he does! This is his Masters recap.

Arriving At Your Moms House Like

Like a glove

The Blender...yay Skurfer

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The Best We Have Ever Skiied

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After we posted the obnoxiously depressing post about being bad at skiing  we were sitting around thinking about the exact opposite, the singular best moment we have ever had skiing. Is that your mom down there? The best is not a term that can be ascribed to a specific occasion, or result...it can simply be the best feeling, the best moment, the culmination of work, it can be 69'ing on a saucer. Its really in the eye of the beholder. So to speak. If you were to thinking about it, say an Olympic figure skaters best performance was their gold medal skating routine, but, in their eyes, it could not be.  Maybe the most symbolic, but, not their best.  That could have been in a training round, in practice, etc. Or think of it from your waterski perspective, you winning a tournament, or setting a record or whatever, its something big, but, is that the best you have skied? So, we talking about it around the CRB office, and most of us came up with times that no one else had

Remember When You Sucked At Skiing?

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We do! It was 20 years ago, also, 5 hours ago. We suck at skiing now.  And it blows. We have real jobs now and can't ski all the time, we have to support the family and it sucks, we have bills to pay and, while that is a self-inflicted wound, it still sucks. Im Moist baby, hit me.  Lets take a trip down memory lane, and this doesn't apply to the 1% of people that can make money from skiing and not have to worry, but the rest of us.  The ones that, at one point in our lives, were able to ski for fun, and now... When we were younger and middle age was some bullshit that other people went through, skiing was simply the means to an end, we skied, we competed, we had fun and that was all there was to it.  There was no end result that we aimed for. Close your eyes and remember. You know you do. Waking up early in the morning, you met your friends for an early morning set.  The water was always calm, it wasn't always warm, but, water was calm. You could see s

Flips While Flipping

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Lt. Daniels Adjusts To Life In 2017

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Take a breath Lt. Daniels, it may not make sense to you right now, but, thats ok. Every generation has this, people explore themselves, their relationship with their fellow human, redefine ones assumptions of gender identity. Besides, a Trebuchet is a pretty cool type of catapult, imagine hooking up with one of those at a ski tournament. Someone is pregnant. Just not sure whom

Lets All Get Epilepsy!

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This is Echoes, a 30 ish minute immersion into awesome from Pink Floyd.  This particular version is from David Gilmore in 2008 from his Live In Gdansk concert. In case you were wondering how Gdansk is pronounced, its simple. Gdansk = Jaquess David Gilmore, live in Jaquess. Boosh.  Make it full screen.  Smoke some weed. You will die soon.

Holy Moly - Get This Kid On A Show Ski Team

"For every back-flip you get a cookie" | Kid:  Look at this! My lord, and he sticks the landing! Amazing. Strap some 68 inch jumpers on that kid, point him toward a ramp.  Sit back and collect your 500 point show ski act.  Legend in the making

CRB Valentines Help: 2017

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Oh baby, you got me a bong?! Most people view this day as a day in which to celebrate those close to them, a way in which to shed the nonsense of day to day life and refocus on their loved ones, a day devoted to them...its lovely and we at the CRB are here to help. Because, lets be honest, 90% of people about 50% of the time turn to the crb 25% of the time for 5% of their love live needs. If you are a math person that equals like 170% of people, so, good luck with your e-harmonize and your tinder and your healthy relationships.  We are here to offer you the proper V-Day syllabus. Get something that comes from the ground that is colorful. Weed is a good start, its mostly legal and removes inhibitions edibles are also nice.  a ginger bread cookie or mushrooms are never not a thing that you could do. Flowers sure, why not.  Get the expensive ones, roses are nonsense, but, get ones that smell good. Trust us.  We are divorced Long car.  don't be an idiot, spring for a

CRB Reviews Tow Vehicles - 2017 Chevy Silverado

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Often times we are queried from the waterski community on our opinion on various waterski related topics, from nutrition, to equipment, to health, to drugs, to cold cuts...it runs the gamut.   One of the more interesting questions that we receive at CRB HQ is what is the best vehicle to tow your boat.  In this and on-going posts, we will discuss and grade the various offerings out in the marketplace for how well they tow boats. CRB REVIEWS TOW VEHICLE: 2017 Chevrolet Silverado You can't afford me Initial Thoughts:  This truck looks tough as hell.  Pick ups have seem to be like someone in their late teens, can't quite decide what look they want to go for.  Changing dramatically every couple of years.  You tell someone you have a Silverado and they probably think of the early 2000's version or maybe the square headlamps version from around 08 and on. Never the less, its a good looking rig The new apps are bonkers Comfort: It has alot of tech

CRB Cooking School: Coffee

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Beans are spilled Item : Coffee Description : A typical morning beverage for people who stay up to late at night writting silly blog posts on a waterski based website that they haven't figured out a way to monitize yet.  Maybe? Why ?: General laziness mainly, as we offended the google ad people by having nudity on the site a few years ago so that didn't work, and from there we aren't sure what to do, despite like, hundreds of thousands of salary going to our unpaid interns.  College, haha, right? OH! Why coffee, because its A) a morning drink that helps you wake up and B) a nice routine based item to help us live out the rest of our days with a sense of calm instead of shrieking dispair. What do you need?   Coffee beans.  Duh.  and a coffee maker, and depending on the state of your beans, also a grinder. So, in order 1) Aquire beans.  Go to the store, either a grocery store or your local coffee shop and acquire beans. Some people get all huffy of what kind

Buy Some Jump Skis - Ignore Your Dumb Knees

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You know you want to ride me Remember what it was like to feel? Its been muted recently by all the time spent in the bars, You're now second rate compared to your contemporaries, Its time to stand up and be the aggressor.  Time for you to make your life ideal, To watch the zombies go by in their cars, It doesn't matter, its time to be extemporary, Put everything aside, there is no time to be clever, Bones heal, Chicks dig scars, Pain is temporary, Glory is forever.  Jumpers are only $1,650, its quite a deal, Available in 68 inches, not the ones that take you to mars, Its a bit of cash, but the deal is quite extraordinary, The hell with it, your knees won't last forever Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear, If you can't run with the big dogs, Get off the porch *fin* LINKS: Performance Ski and Sur

Omar Just Wants You To Be Safe

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This is important, lets take a moment to thank Omar for making sure we are safe when we are out on the boat. An extra ounce of caution could potentially save your life. So, thank you Omar. Get some Honey Nut Cheerios in ya.

GET UP AND GET RAGE!!!

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OH MY GOD!  GO! RAGE!!! DO SOME PUSH UPS!  DRINK A BLOODY MARY!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHH /trips and falls down stairs DAMNIT!

Our Sport Is Amazing

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Look at this picture. LOOK AT IT. How cool is this?  It may mean nothing to you, you don't even have to know who this is.  We don't.  But, man, is that a great picture. She has fire on her legs!!! She is smiling!! Our stupid sport is so amazing. Also, she is so much more in shape then we ever even hope to be its sick.

Have You Tried Mint Chip Ice Cream?

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Holy shit you guys, have you ever tried mint chip ice cream?  Its amazing! We went to the local ice cream shop here in crburbia, and while we were told to exercise caution, once our eyes laid eyes upon that amazing display of green and black, yo, there was no coming back. good luck with your off-season diet, you bitch We asked for a sample and oh my god.... mint chip got in your pants So, it was confusing at first, because we have never thought about a different flavor of ice cream like that. But, you know, if the opportunity ever presented itself that way...you know...its the year 2017, who are we to turn down an offer, right? Its one of those things that is hard to bring up to your family, "hey, we am not sure if we are sold on ice cream sundaes, we sort of think, you know, that maybe we want to explore...you know..." And that is when our dad flipped over the table and screamed.. "IF YOU THINK THAT ANYTHING OTHER THAN VANILLA ICE CREAM, WELL,

Omar is Helpful

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Stringer Bell: "I am pretty excited to go out on the water today, I have been working on my whirlybirds.  Plus, I think I am going to bring along the big box of cheez-its, some cold cuts and a case of natty ice.  Hey Omar? Where should I put all this stuff??" Omar: Stringer: "Thanks buddy! Wallace should be here shortly to be the third!"

Do You Even Know How To Taco?

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What are you doing?  You are crushing it with your hand!!  #DoTacoBetter

Do You Even Know How To Orange?

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Are you trying to put the orange back together?   or take it apart? either way your doing it wrong.

CRBailbag. Vol. 1

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My balls are starting to float Over the 10 years or so CRB has been alive, we have received tons of emails asking us questions, from who we are, to how to waterski, to how to talk to the opposite sex...and from there you can only imagine.  In our first edition of CRBailbag, we will attempt to answer some of those questions.  Jacob from Sacramento Who are you, what do you do, and how are you so god damn great all the time? Great question Jacob, and you should feel really special because you are the first email we will have ever answered on the website.  In fact, in our board meeting we have often times debated doing a segment like this, and well, its never been received well from the board members. That being said. Allow us to answer this question point by point. 1) Who are we?  we are a collective of the best and brightest minds in the entire world of water based sports.  Every day we get together at the CRB HQ, which has the security like you can't imagine.  Suffice

Waterski Pick Up Lines

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Use this one fellas, 100% of the time it works 50% of the time

Coaches Corner - Spotting

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CRB COACHES CORNER: This is a subsection of CRB where we tackle the various aspects of waterskiing and help you, the reader, figure out ways to master the smaller aspects of our sport.  We rely on our stable of talented professionals for their advice, guidance and wisdom.  You will be smarter, better and more talented after reading our coaches corners.  all aspects of our sport are covered, all disciplines and all areas.  CRB COACHES CORNER: SPOTTING LOL, i dont know.  I think they fell..he? she? HAHA. Beats me.  There is no one back there anymore. Are there sharks or alligators in the water here? lol.  whatever. Do a wheelie. YOLO

Ski Boat Car

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Gah, CUT LATER AGNES!

Welcome to CRB Airlines

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Brap Brap Brap *phone rings* dodgestratusdriver:  GOOD MORNING, THANK YOU FOR CALLING CRB AIRLINES, WHAT DO YOU WANT? sowhiteithurts:  Excuse me?  You can not speak to me that way sir, I demand to speak with your boss dodgestratusdriver:  DO YOU WANT TO FLY IN OUR BAD ASS PLANE OR NOT?  LISTEN REALLY CLOSE, I DIDN'T DRIVE MY CUTLASS CIERA FROM MY BASEMENT APARTMENT TODAY JUST FOR THE PLEASURE TO TALK TO YOUR STUPID FACE.  FLY PLANE YES NO? sowhiteithurts:  Stupid face?  How dare you, I have spent thousands of dollars on this face to make it...wait, how can you see my face. Never mind, i read something on IDontLikeToDoAnythingOutOfMyComfortZone.com that you have a special plane that is set up just for people who waterski, I need to know every single thing about this service before I even consider purchasing tickets. My kids, Jax, Troika and KtlinMariBeth do not eat peanuts or anything with peanuts in them, only gluten-free organic foods ser