Nov 28, 2011

Vid Day Monday

Community is one of the best comedies on tv in many years, of course the fuck heads over at NBC have pulled it off the lineup. I swear that if NBC were run by road kill they would be a better station. The NBC execs would say "but kind sir, the masses want more reality TV programs and dancing shows", to which I would respond "the masses are fucking idiots who don't deserve a vote in this, and they are idiots because you have made them so with the hour upon hour of brain dead garbage you throw at them."

Seriously, there is about a total of 5 hours of TV a week that is worth watching and now Community is off, next I bet they will kill Parks and Rec. Then I bet Mad Men and Sons of Anarchy will be canceled just to spite me.

Vid Day Monday

Slalom Ski mag had TV commercials in the 80s, back when they covered more then just slalom skiing. They covered non slalom skiing things like hot dog slalom and kneeboarding... oh, well in that case it was still useless.

Vid Day Monday

I want one of these in my back yard. Would not make much sense as my back yard is about the size of a bathroom floor tile and it is flat, but I want one and I will have it.

Nov 24, 2011

CRB Gives Thanks 2011

Last years Thanksgiving was pretty much a gigantic day of dry humping, we were really excited about what we had planned for the day and at every turn things seemed to go sour.

So, we have decided this year to tackle our weaknesses head on in order to avoid the problems that have plagued recent CRB thanksgivings.

First of all, last year we tried to deep fry a turkey.  This is harder then you may think, first of all, you need one of those things that sit outside with a propane burner and, well, you need to have some idea of what to do instead of just having the oil boil and throw in a turkey.

Turns out, this was very poor planning on our part and resulted in a minor to average size explosion that damaged parts of our warehouse, thereby A. voiding our insurance policy and B. destroying much of our inventory of crb merch.

So, to combat this problem, this year we went to the store and got a whole bunch of turkey lunch meat and are going to make turkey sandwiches instead.

This solution is both easier to clean up afterwards and hopefully results in less unruly fires.

Second, last year we invited everyone in our neighborhood, or more specifically, everyone else that inhabits the same business park that CRB HQ resides.  This ended in many unfortunate circumstances.  Most notably, we had no idea the amount of beer that all these people could drink, and to complicate this matter further, they became angry and irritable as the beer began to dry up.  Naturally, we keep a stash of rum in the board room, but, the unruly mob quickly sussed out this stash and made a mad dash, knocking over various party trays of cheeses and gardetto snacks.  It caused quite a mess.

But, beyond that circumstance, due to the intimate and cozy nature of the offices, we may or may not have had a few unexpected pregnancies as a result.  This is all hush hush and under the radar, but, not only did a few of our staffers in the editing bay ask for advances on their salaries to cover unexpected expenses, but, Carly and Megan who run our international marketing department both left on maternity leave in late july seemed a bit curious as our CRB contract expressly prohibits families.


So, this year we are instituting two counter measures, first, we just went ahead and got one of those cool beer trucks with the taps on the side and parked it next to the lake so people can hang out outside and get their drank on by the dock.

Second, we have been dilluting birth control pills in all the drinking water since last years events, so, everyone should be unable to conceive...this should eliminate the unwanted pregnancies and allow people to drink to their hearts content.

Our third issue from last year, was that as hosts of this event, we were required to play nice with everyone and make sure that everyone was having a good time.  This is intolerable, as there is hella football games on tv and we had just finished breaking in the new SkiMasterBu complete with nitrous system and huge ass stereo, so, we were unable to go wakesurf and do power turns like we normally do.

This was very frustrating.

It was alot of , "hey, CRB you ran out of deep fried skittles" and "hey, CRB, is there anyway you can get some more ice, because my mixed drinks are awfully warm" and "hey, CRB, is there any way that you can make some more of those steak kabobs?".

We were all, "what the hell?  Deep fried skittles?  Steak Kabobs?  we had a deep fried turkey and a cooler with cheap beer...where did this shit come from?"

Turns out, someone was holding a catering company hostage and figured the best way to make their escape was have them cater the CRB Thanksgiving party...which is odd as hell.

So, this year, we decided to hire fake hosts for the party, turns out that there are companies that do this sort of thing, Party Escorts...I guess they call em, or just escorts..either way, the ladies are really attractive and slutty...just a vibe we get.

Anywho!  This way, we don't have to play host and can ski and/or watch football to our hearts content.

In fact, this year, we won't even be at our own party.  We are just going to sit on the couch at home and watch football and eat turkey sandwiches and hang out with our regular family.

All the other stuff that we are doing and all the other things that we have done for Thanksgiving don't really mean anything, its alot more fun to fall asleep on the couch with your family then dick around with all these other crazy people.

That sounds like a pretty good Thanksgiving.

We all deal with all this nonsense all year long, dealing with people you don't always like, listening to your boss, going to work, doing all this crap, its nice to have a day to just hang with the important people, eat turkey and watch football.  That is something to be thankful for, everyone else that is coming to the CRB party can enjoy themselves and tweet good things about us, which, is cool and all, but, this is the one day of the year that you can be with the people that really matter and that is something to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving from the CRB!

s

Nov 21, 2011

Vid Day Monday

This vid takes a little bit to get rolling but once it does its the awesomes. Yes I stole it from The Chive, they titled it "People Are Awesome" and that is a very apt description of the video. They use clips from a bunch of vids that have graced the pages of CRB Vid Day Monday before.

Vid Day Monday

This song is a bit over played on the radio but its damn good, and these kids do an awesome cover of it. Its worth digging around a bit in their Youtube page, kids are skilled.

Vid Day Monday

The ease with which Dylan throws these flips pisses me off to no end. F you and all your talent, stop making the rest of us look stupid. Jerk.

/flips
/mobe (like a boss)
/back to back front flip.
/pimps

Oh and note to the guy uploading the vid: I spell like crap and I don't really care, but you misspelled the main two words on the vid.
Fromt - Yea no m in that word but at least I understood what you were saying.
Mobuce - WTF? I had to watch the vid to see that you were trying to say Mobius, as in a full twisting gainer.


Vid Day Monday

Back before we had to get a job and try to be responsible we used to fuck around on the lake and do stuff like this all day. The amount of money we wasted on gas doing power slides or trying to do wake 3s on a slalom ski would probably pay off my car. Ah the good ol' days... Never ever grow up, it sucks.

Vid Day Monday

Charlie Chaplin in 1940, giving the speech that Hitler should have given.

Nov 19, 2011

CRB Brings the Sexy

This is Doutzen Kroes, and she knows how to wear a swimming suit. oof!





It appears she also knows how to wear lingerie.

Nov 16, 2011

Hit The Slopes

It was 25 degrees this morning, the boat has been winterized for over a month...I guess it is time to come to terms with the waterski season being over (except for you bastards in the south). Late fall is the worst time of year, its to cold to ski and what snow there is does not stick so you cant snow ski. This weather is shenanagens.

But, in a short time it will be snowing and time to strap on skis again. Maybe a winter like the guys in this vid had is in order. Of course it would help if I were to get a new set of skis or a decent snowboard. But whatevs, I bet my jumpers will work just fine.

/straps on jumpers
//gets laughed at
///feet freeze and fall off

Nov 14, 2011

Vid Day Monday

Try to watch the mother in this vid and not get teary eyed. It is an exercise in futility.

Vid Day Monday

This guy is freaking awesome. The only thing in that vid that I could do would be sit on the ground and open a bottle of juice, beyond that I am useless.

/flips while flipping

Vid Day Monday

Russia Today is an English language news station out of...Russia...yea. They do a pretty solid piece on Worlds, sure would be nice to see this kind of coverage here.

Vid Day Monday

Thinking outside the box. That is what these guys did to make the new Audi A6 look even cooler then it already is. The projection equipment they are using is amazing and the lights and all of that is great, but the key here is how to make a car look like its in motion when in a closed space. And boom, these guys nailed it.

Audi A6 3D Mapping Nomadic Installation from Lumina Motion on Vimeo.

Nov 11, 2011

Musical Friday - Memory Journey Edition V.5

To finish up our little journey down memory lane in musical form, we have some Dave Matthews.

Now, we have never had a chance to see this dude in concert despite being pretty much the exact demographic.  This song, "Don't Drink the Water", besides being god damn awesome, is also really funny as a waterskier because you can always say, "hey man, don't drink the water...there is blood in the water" and even if it isn't true they will go, "oh jesus!" until they realize you are just a figment of their imagination.  Or are they???

Anyways, we would imagine that most waterski type people had a hard time evading Dave in some way shape or form...or Phish or something similar.  Which is fine, but, jesus man!  Give it a rest!  Put on some metal and lets get our mosh on in this bitch!


Is that drummer guy wearing a no fear shirt? and not even just a no fear shirt but a dirt bike rider guy style shirt? dude, step it up, your better then that!

Speaking of which, can we all just agree to never again speak about No Fear and Big Johnson and Big Dog and all those astonishingly moronic t-shirts from back in the day?

Mr. Zogs Sex Wax!  Oh My God!  It says sex on it!  I am so cool!  Jesus man, do you know where the money goes that you spent on that shirt?  It goes to Italy!!  Probably the same people that do Tapout and Ed Hardy shit, lord Almighty we are idiots.

Like, do you ever look at old pictures of yourself and think, holy god...why didn't someone kick my ass?  I look like a dickhole.  Well, probably because we all did, but, there wasn't facebook and whatever to provide an accurate mirror into our own idiocy.

Maybe thats why goth people have it right...just dress in all black and say screw it, pretty hard to go wrong wearing all black all the time.  Then again, the black eye shadow and trench coat is awfully hot in the summer, and you probably feel like a dipshit trying to coordinate eye shadow and black nail polish with your neon green skurfer.

Musical Friday - Memory Journey Edition V.4

When we were in high school...and actually, while pretty much everyone was in high school we all had various places we knew we could where we would listen to music, get our drink on and not worry to much about being hassled by the man.  Lucky for us we had a place like that, actually a few of them now that we think about it, but, one in particular sticks out.  You drove down this winding dirt road and there was a big grain silo and a fire pit, and we would have a bon-fire, drink whatever we could talk our buddies older aunt/sister/something into buying for us and then drive around like idiots.

Now, we think, that area became part of some sub division and our spot is probably some uptight late 20's douchebags kitchen where him and his stepford wife plan out their family and mini van and weekends at their relatives in wine country or something.  Ugh, screw you man, i got a bottle md 20/20 with my name on it and a shitty pickup to drive into a ditch.


And we probably have to thank the beasties for being there with us, thanks MCA and Mike D and Ad Rock for a soundtrack to our eventual liver problems and failed marriages!!

Speaking of which, if you are lucky enough to grow up on a lake or on a private ski lake situation or something or in an area where you have some space, count your blessings.  You have some area to go experiment and get drunk and do whatever without hopping in your car and driving around like an idiot.

The more you know!

Musical Friday - Memory Journey Edition V.3

A while back we were at a bar that had a god damn karaoke machine set up...more specifically a guy would come in with a whole set up and people would wail like a bunch of dipshits...and yes, we have got up and rocked the mic like a boss, but, karaoke in general is a pretty bad idea.

Short story long, one time this dude requests this song, Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden and we all just sort of prepare of a abomination of singing and spectacle and as god as your witness this dude just nailed this song.  Hitting all the high notes, playing to the people, stomping around like he owned the place.  It was so awesome, we all stood up and cheered.  Then some idiot did the Bette Davis Eyes song and butchered it and ruined the vibe.


Do you have to be all devil worship and what-not if you are in a band like this when you are out at Target buying diapers and birdseed?  Or can you put on normal t-shirts and jeans and a hat and just be a random dude with unfortunate tattoos and a ass-load of money...like us!

Musical Friday - Memory Journey Edition V.2

Speaking of teleporting in time, does anyone remember Blue October?  The song Hate Me came out in 2006 and for some reason, every damn morning for a month waking up it would be on the radio.  Lets make this clear, there is nothing better then starting your day off with an emo guy blaming himself for a break up with a girl..and not even being sarcastic, some dude bitching about a break up IS a good way to wake up.  "yo, this dude is way worse off then me...today is going to rule!!" and then we would go out and still not have a job, but, dominate some basketball with the neighberhood kids.  Whats up now?  Your jump shot ain't so silk now huh???  Then the kid drains a 25 footer in my grillmix.  FACE.


Whatever kid, I can legally drink.

Musical Friday - Memory Journey Edition V.1

ODBF does the vid day mondays, and why the hell not, lets do a Musical Friday...Its the last day of most peoples work week and Dig Dug loves some music, so, here is some music stuff.

First, we were going through our CD collection...remember those?  An actual case full of plastic discs?  Trying to find the third Led Zep album and came across the Sarah McLaclan Surfacing album, and you know what?  Screw you, she rules and this album is great.  Not ashamed to admit that many times we have cranked this while driving around, towing boats, delivering weed, etc.


Two things about this video.  First of all, is she a shape shifter or something, watch this video then google image search for her, its like, two different people.  She is so smoking hot in this video and other times...not so much.  Secondly, what is with that dude poking holes in her dress?  What a douche.

Isn't it weird how you can hear a song..even a song you haven't heard for years and you are transported instantly to a certain time and place?  What is up with that?

The Led Zep album we were searching for whatever reason teleports us directly to 1996 driving to work, down a road covered in leaves, with a lake off the left.  What the hell?  Every damn time!!!  So weird.

Thanks Vets!

On this 93rd anniversary of the end of World War One we would like to give a big thank you to all of those that have served.




Nov 10, 2011

Point/Counterpoint - A CRB DEBATE : Webcasting

Welcome to Point/Counterpoint...a totally fresh and novel approach to debate that has never been done before. Dig Dug and ODBF will debate the hot topic issues within the waterski world and the ancillary aspects to the death. We argue about everything.


This week we discuss the role of Webcasting. In the past few years, with the rise of technology and speedy internet, more and more tournaments, competitions and events are being webcast. Allowing more fans of the sport to consume the product and hopefully providing a platform for our stars to shine.

A more accurate diagram we have not seen
Point/Counterpoint #1 : Is it appropriate for our sport to embrace webcasting?

ODBF: Webcasting is a good step forward for our sport, for years since we fell off ESPN we have only gotten a couple pictures of events and then scores much later or not at all. Tony, Tadd, Tom Grey and a few others have brought pro tournaments back into the comfort of our homes. Could the webcasts be better? Hell yea they could, but I could also be in better shape and that is not going to happen anytime soon.

Dig Dug:  Appropriate, yes.  But beyond webcasting, the embrace of social media and whatever technology available is a good thing for this sport.  As with many things waterski based, it does seem a bit hit and miss sometimes, but, wrapping your arms around what is available to you is, in general, a good thing.

The right amount of money gets you webcast of CRB offices

Point/Counterpoint #2 : Would you like to see more integration of webcasting?

ODBF: Webcasting needs to be an integral part of every tournament. Right now the vast majority of pro tournaments have very small crowds and that does no good for the sponsors. Say GM sponsors an event then they roll in and see that their $40k has bought them exposure to 500 people, there is no chance in hell they will come back next year. Now say they come to the site and see 500 people and total webcast hits of over 10,000, well that will get them thinking this was a decent investment of marketing dollars.

Dig Dug: Yes, absolutely.  Its tough, in that, there are really only a few people that, currently, effectively produce and distribute webcasting for waterskiing and currently it appears really only in the 3-event realm, that we are aware of.  It would be great to see this level of availablity in all areas, wakeboard tournaments, barefoot events, big dawg slalom events, ski racing, etc.  Further, not only just webcasting, but, online chats and channels/views/camera angles and the like.

All of a sudden we have a powerful thirst
Point/Counterpoint #3 : Can webcasting become part of an overall cohesive marketing plan?

ODBF: As my example above shows, not only can it be part of the overall marketing plan but it has to be. Waterskiing is a small sport with a small following spread around the world, getting someone to fly from Utah to Michigan to go watch slaloming for 2 days is not likely to happen. But make it so Joe Cowboy from Utah can throw his lappy on the coffee table and drink a couple beers while watching some swervers tear it up and you are much more likely to get him to give up a few hours on the weekend. Now that you have those viewers watching your webcast you have something to bring to advertisers. Much more likely to get sponsors if said sponsors see that thousands of people will see their name.

Dig Dug:  Yeah, sure, but I think you are missing something there ODBF, in that, unless you are really in tune with the various events going on you have no idea that its even being webcast.  I have missed a bunch of them because I didn't know there was an event going on.  A cohesive marketing plan needs to start from the top down and again this goes a bit to USA Waterski and/or whomever the governing bodies are.  Which, for the overall health and growth of our sport, could step up a bit and have a central location for information on all events, promotion of events and have guidelines for said production of the event.  Maybe, like, a professional sports league or something.  But, there are pro-ams and night jams and malibu opens and the like, that don't appear, from the outside looking in, to have any connection with each other or a specific way to learn about them.

Aerodynamically poor
Point/Counterpoint #4 : Is our sport best served by "in-house" production vs. an outside production house?

Dig Dug:  This is a tough one, because as CRB'ers we love us some tony and tadd, and they do great work and it looks like, with the waterski broadcasting thing that Tony is doing, laying the groundwork for future improvement.  So, its a matter of how this would tie into the above marketing/promotion machine that our sport could benefit from.  

ODBF: Right now we are getting decent results from Tony, and Tom Grey, those results could be much better. But cost is a prohibitive factor right now and the current options are not exorbitantly expensive. Stick with what you know.

Producing a televised waterski broadcast is strangely complicated these days
Point/Counterpoint #5 : In a glass ball, what do you think is the possible outcome for our sport, from a production/exposure aspect?

ODBF: We will continue to push webcasts and as the technology gets better so will the results. As we get more and more people watching the webcasts we can start to sell our sport to TV again. FoxSports, Versus, ESPN possibly, and so on, are the end goal.

Dig Dug:  I agree sort of, but, i disagree with the idea of "selling" our sport to an espn or versus or fuel or whomever...in a sense, everything is a sale..the NFL, for example, doesn't need to "sell" its product, people are lined up to buy, but, they focus on their own brand to make it more attractive to suiters.  That is a slight way of looking at that difference, but, I would like to see...or more specifically, the best possible outcome that I see would be that USA Waterski or Waterski broadcasting or pro ski tour or a new company build a brand, build a product that is so desirable that someone will want to purchase/product/package and promote.  For example, CRB Productions builds a production arm and streamlines the process to the point where Fuel TV or the like could simply plug and play into the production arm of CRB Productions to televise the events, the shows, etc. 


Nov 9, 2011

Winter is Here

Well...winter has struck parts of our country already, east coast took a hit, Alaska is getting smacked with a snow hurricane (which sounds plesant...) and today the upper midwest. We were sent a couple pics today that outline the weather change. These two pictures are from a CRB reader in Minocqua Wisconsin, home of the oldest continually active ski club in the country.

Yesterday...


Today...

Nov 8, 2011

Lake Trout Carry Out

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.

John Mommer, of Militia clothing and awesome pics, has joined HO as their new sports marketing director. HO is doing this right, pick a skier to sell to skiers.

Mommer! Stop taking pictures in my bedroom!

Cot Cambell likes to bet big, and so this "master of ceremonies for a waterski team" dropped a 5k bet on a horse and won big.

A group of wakeboarders is about to open the first full size wakeboard park in the western US in Eagle Mountain Utah. Utah is the first??? Whats up now Cali!!??!!

Speaking of cable parks, Danial Grant is 13 years old and rides for Rip Curl. He has been dominating the Rip Curl cable wakeboard and wake skate tour in Asia. And yes, he is 13.

Sticking with wakeboarding, the Pan Am games were held recently in Mexico. Canadian Wakeboarder Aaron Rathy took the silver but has been forced to give it back for testing positive for the banned substance methylhexaneamine. I had no idea what that was so Google teach me!

We often joke about how speed skiing is for crazy people, well Tony van Duerson took the sport up again soon after his daughter broke her neck in a crash. You would think he would have learned his lesson but alas he did not. Sad story.



It just takes one jack ass on a public lake to get ski clubs in trouble. We are contstantly finding stories about show ski clubs or ramps on public lakes running into issues with some cranky lake front home owner who just needs to cause problems. The Muskego Waterbugs show ski team is currently running into a problem like that. A team that brings in large crowds to an unused city park and provides good family entertainment is at risk of losing their ramp due to some jag off that just cant leave well enough alone.
Andy Mapple is selling his house in Orlando $1.65 million. Check it.

And another story of skiers fighting for lake time, this time coming from down under.

And in honor of Micheal Jackson's Doc going to jail, Thriller.

Nov 7, 2011

Vid Day Monday

Starlings everywhere. Its like birds but with less Tippi Hedren.

Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

Vid Day Monday

This happens to the CRB Minion all the time, its why he spends so much of his time in South American prisons. Needs to pull up on the stick faster. *dick joke*

Vid Day Monday

High school student and Sea World San Antonio skier Seth Fraise can ski. There were once pro ski shows all over the country but many have closed in recent years.

Day Light Savings Time

Vid Day Monday

300 foot Texas style jump? Not a problem for this guy...

Nov 3, 2011

Thursday Afternoon Musical Mystery


Wannabe DJ: OH HELL YEAH BRO IM FUCKING PUMPED THAT YOU ARE HERE, YOU GOTTA CHECK OUT MY RECORD COLLECTION, ITS SO MEGA, HUGE...LIKE, I EVEN WENT TO THIS SHOP DOWN ON FOURTH STREET WITH THE HIPPIES TO GET THE NEW SKELETONWITCH ALBUM, IT IS OWNAGE.

BRO, BRO...BRO, YO, GET A HIT OFF THIS.  *passes joint*

CRB Intern: *puff*  *cough*

Wannabe DJ: YEAH MAN, CHECK THIS OUT....ohhhhh the weed is kickin in man...

ohhhh yeah, damn son, get me some kool aid bro, i am mad thirsty and put in a pizza i got the munchies like a god damn, you know, a thing, a...

yeah man so, check this out.  I heard this song the other day, its pretty good and lyrics totally speak to me bro, god damn i'm thirsty. *glug glug glug*

CRB Intern: *listens*


Wannabe DJ: YOU SEE MAN ITS A STATEMENT ON THE RICH ELITIST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND THE REGULAR PEOPLE WHO GO THROUGH THEIR LIVES LIKE IDIOTS BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID!  AND THEY ARE SMOKING FAGS. GET IT?  FAGS!  CUZ YOUR A FAG TOO AND YOU ARE GOING TO GET SMOKED.

CRB Intern: *stares*

Wannabe DJ: YOUR COOL BRO, I DIG YOUR VIBE, GOTTA GET SOME SKANKS UP IN HERE BRO, ON THE REAL, IM MAD ITCHIN FOR SOME PLAY YOU KNOW?  USE IT OR LOSE BRO.  HAHAHA

CRB Intern: *nods*

Wannabe DJ: BROOOOO, THEN GET THIS SHIZZZZ, CAPTAIN MOFO KIRK TOTALLY REDID THIS SONG BRO, AND ITS EPIC AS FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK

Wannabe DJ: *puff* *puff*

Wannabe DJ:  oh...oh that is the bomb....here bro, watch this *hits play*

CRB Intern: *watchs*


Wannabe DJ: im so high

CRB Intern: *nods*

Wannabe DJ: later bro

CRB Intern: *leaves*

More Evidence That We Are Going To Drink

Need this to make bad decisions
There is a new study that has come out detailing how increased drinking, i.e, 6 glasses of wine or so a week, can maybe increase the risk of breast cancer in women.

Previously, it has been known that excessive alcohol use is bad for you, but, if you don't drink alot no one knew quite what the affects were...now, it shows that there may be more of a risk.  Maybe.  This is apparently a big deal, because there was Dr. So and So on the Today show on Wednesday morning saying that boozing is bad....So, for gods sake ladies quit yo dranking.

But, seriously, check this pull quote from the article from msnbc.com
Still, while the increased risk found in this study is real, it is quite small. Women will need to weigh this slight increase in breast cancer risk with the beneficial effects alcohol is known to have on heart heath, said Dr. Wendy Chen, of Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston. Any woman's decision will likely factor in her risk of either disease, Chen said.
No shit Dr. Chen, really?  You have to weigh the decisions you make in life against the potential health risks?  Well, cover me in KY and slide me into a plastic bubble because I am frightened by the potential for minimal health risks.

Oh, wait..hold on...lets read further in this fantastic scientific discovery.
And it's possible that, for some, the benefit of drinking alcohol for the heart outweighs the risks of breast cancer, Narod said. Future research into alcohol's risks and benefits may provide women with more information to make a decision, Narod said.
Narod, by the way, is also a doctor type person who contributed something to this study.  Bunch of masturbatory bitchs. This nonsense has been going on for a long time, especially in concerns to the booze, but, in everything we do.  Eat Vitamin D because its good for your boners....wait, no, don't do that you will get no boners.  Make sure that you have flax seed oil in your omelets because you will be able to get x-ray vision...wait, no, flax seed oil causes you to only hit home runs.

If someone was going to live their lives totally healthy and follow everything a doctor said was healthy at one moment to the next, you would be jumping from one foot to the next every other week and holy christ would that be obnoxious.

We have had a million different fad diets and people saying we should eat this, don't eat that, drink this, don't drink that...etc etc.  God damn man, yo, daddy likes bacon and pizza and beer.  Guess what, I know this shit probably isn't good for me, but, we do eventually die and fuck it I want to enjoy it while I am here.

Thats the take away I get from this whole thing, yeah...We want to be healthy and active and not get heart attacks and ass cancer, so...maybe we won't smoke a pack a day and mainline baked potatoes.

I.e, live in moderation.  More or less, seems to be what any doctor about anything could say about anything.

yo doc, i love hookers, should I ease back on the bacon?
Life is to damn frustrating to live through as it is, dealing with jobs and bills and idiot other drivers and interpersonal relationships and all that.  The last thing that we are going to worry about is, "umm, am I at my limit of wine for the week vs my over all heath based on this scatter plot graph pie diagram????"

Its stupid.  If I want to have a bunch of beers on a Wednesday night and write a silly CRB post, I am going to do it...it may cause headaches on Thursday, but, the hell with it...it makes us feel happy.

If there was a science that came out that stated, you will die if you drink more then 6 natty ice's in a night more then 5 nights in a row you will fucking die immediately...that may change our drinking habits, but, until then...eat a dick science.

We want to enjoy our lives and not live in constant fear of immediate health related retribution for our actions when in a year you are going to change you mind and say, "no, go ahead and eat steak every day with salt and meth butter, its good for you"

Way ahead of you doc

Nov 2, 2011

Morning AHHHHHHH

From the old Cypress Gardens comes the New Legoland waterski show. That costume can not be fun to jump in.