Jan 29, 2009

Time to practice

No real point to posting this vid other then the fact that i really dig it.

Amazing to think that people can ski like these guys when we all started skiing like this.

Practice makes perfect...

Barefoot Worlds Results

Since there has been a ton of amazing coverage of Barefoot Worlds in New Zealond this post is probably silly. Seeing as everyone knows exactly what is going on and what is happening.


Here are the results in .PDF form.

More stuff here

This is the basic run down.

1) KSO
2) Sam Heinrich
3) David Smalls

1) Ashleigh Stebbeings
2) Elaine Heller
3) Emily Goldie

There. Thanks to the no one who spread the word about this.

Edit: Barefoot Central has some updates, in their forum section. Proceed with caution, seizures and geocity era website design rules. ugh. here(preview) and here(forum)

pssh, better yet just yell at the wall.

Edit 2: This is better, go to Tales From The Foot for the news.

Jan 23, 2009

Twiggy...well splinter test is back!

Hey folks it's the minion. Sorry I have been gone so long, but I have been in Guantamo Bay for the last few months. However, thanks to B to the O-Bama I am now a American Citizen yet again. Yet again I need to stop hanging out with that Denny guy, this time they thought I was involved in a terroist attack. Well thanks B-dog I'm free. To pass time in Gitmo I was trying to train Twiggy however he was quickly eaten by my Arabian friends. So I have been training the Gitmo rats who I have named Splinty.
The rats ski well...eh OK. Anyway we did a test of the wake kite dealy that has been out for a few months. It is almost as cool as the wake tube. So we did a Wake Kite vs. the Wake Tube (shhh we don't really have a Wake Tube).

When Splinty went up on the Wake Tube we quickly realized that the recommended 25mph was not fast enough to lift up the tube so we took it to 40mph. Well as soon as we saw wind the kite tube did some cool twisting 360's and then crashed killing splinty numbero uno. RIP dude. Then we moved on to the Wake Kite.

This worked really well. Splinty numbero dos got up super high (thanks to ODBF for the killer...) but really couldn't do any tricks. Then the wind shifted. He had a minor concusion. Well a minor concusion for a rat costs more in hospital bills than to hit him in the head with a hammer. We are now on to splinty numbero trace. RIP dude.

I am back bitches! And even drunker thanks to my good old friend PBR. Way better than the beer made in Gitmo out of human waste, yet still better than Cubin Beerz made by my home boy Fidelo B-Dogs, "G". So peace yo's heres to not drinking my own urine!

CRB Fantasy League - Fantasy Fishing

Fellow CRB'ers, join the CRB crew in a brand new adventure!!

Join us as we embark on a journey to the lands of trout, salmon and mega-fast speed boats, FANTASY FISHING!!!

FLW Fantasy Fishing .com is a site that has some recockulous 10 million dolla cash/prize payout for their fantasy fishing league!

In the spirit of waterski people and fishing people working in harmony to make a better universe for the kids, we feel its in our best interest to try and get some of that phat cash.

So, with that in mind, the CRB has set up our own league, The CRB, within their league. So please, click this link...


and register, search for the CRB league, league ID# 15022 and if you need a password its


Join Now!!

Jan 21, 2009

Watch Out for the Cleat!!


See? Thats what happens when you rock a speedo and a Bayliner! Karma.

LET GO!! Serious, save face man...and save your junk!

Just tumble up!! Physics be damned!

Jan 20, 2009

CRB: most influential website in history

Proof is here

Dear Steve Locke,

Keep up the good work. And feel free to grab yourself a Shiner Bock and help yourself to the Tabasco Cheeze Its out of the CRB cooler anytime you would like.

Trained Monkey

Jan 19, 2009

cold cold cold cold

While we have come out of the recent deep freeze we are nowhere near being able to hit the water again up here in snowy land. But some people out there make the best of it.

Sweet old man speedos!

Jan 14, 2009

Follow Up Post - YOUR WRONG!

Sorry ODBF, your doing a great job (one post a week is great), but, hockey fights? maybe. Dancing girls?



Survey Says?!?!?!?


Waterskiing needs this!

Just saying...

Ryan Dodd: Whats that you say ODBF? We need fights? We Candians know how this works!

My daily activities consist of:

- Flying
- Doing tricks
- Smashing turns
- Mountain biking
- Hockey
- Golds Gym time
- Yoga
- Pilates
- Snowski
- Whatever else is fun and gets the blood pumping!

/Throws gloves and Jumpers on the ground.

ODBF: /Dies

Jan 12, 2009

The Price of Boats

Had the chance to attend a "boat show" this past weekend, and when I put the "boat show" in the "" its because, well, it may as well be a space shuttle show, or a flex capacitor show, or any other unattainable product show.

Maybe, and the possibly it decent, that I am ignorant, but, holy shit boats are obscene. Not like, naked ladies all over them or a Vivid Video sponsored X-Star, but, just the general entry level type ski boat is like 60,000 dollars! Thats like, American money...I was stunned.

I don't know why I thought this, but, after wandering around and checking out a zillion boats that were ocean bound boats with cabins and nuclear motors and everything that clocked in at a cool 1/2 million, I figured it was time to go get some sanity and go see some Malibus or Mastercrafts or whatever the third major boat company is.

BOY was I mistaken.

From a simple asthetic standpoint, these boats are frickin cherry, they all were decked out in some rad electronics and esoteric dials and gauges that I would never fully understand.

Let me frame it better, a Malibu Response with a little tower on it, had a dash board with a LCD type display and a wicked rad stereo in it, which I hope to hell got better stations then the shit I deal with where I live now, and basically, if it weren't for all the people was basically sex on a trailer.

However, a response is, in my head, the base type Malibu, the entry level, the Chevrolet, etc, and it was...after discount, 60,000.

Judging by the general flow of people around the event, they were looking at four things.

1) Fishing Boats
2) Fishing Demonstrations
3) Wake Skates
4) Beer

I was at the show for three or four hours, untill my desire for BBQ got the best of me, and I never once saw anyone look at a ski boat...other then walk by, roll their eyes and walk on.

Maybe, just maybe, I am a moron and don't know what I am talking about, but as asserted in some previous posts, the price on these boats is, while not an issue, its a contributing factor to what I see as a possible "barrior to entry" (to use some marketing on your ass) to our sport.

And don't bother with the "buy used" argument, I sold my old boat, a 1995 prostar 190, 8 years ago for a certain price, if you were to look them up now, 8 years later, they are more expensive.

8 years later.

Its amazing. I mean, these are big and smart companies that know what they are doing and by now means is it their responsibility to make boats that I can afford, its just a commentary.

Which, leads me to my final point, if someone had the gumption to try something crazy, I would look and try to find a non-existent boat company, like, Ski Brendella or something and get their fiberglass molds. put them in a wharehouse somewhere and make a small batch of 20-30 thousand dollar, three-event type, specific boats.

You could have a little pro-shop with towers, stereos, fat sacs, etc, etc, that you could mod-out your boat. but, that would eleviate that "entry-level" fear, as well as the "buyers remorse" aspect of someone mortgageing their souls to purchase a boat for their kid who will use it like I used mine.

For putting around, drinking beer and getting girls.

Take it and run CRB-etariat. I just want 5% of profits.

Jan 11, 2009

Time for a recovery

Patrice Martin is one of the legendary greats of our sport and was competing professionaly at a time when Waterskiing was at its apex.

The economic problems we are witnessing at this time are pushing great depression era magnitude and that will have defistating effects on discretionary spending and thus on all sports. F1 has announced they need to dramaticly change their approach to keep the sport viable, other sports are seeing many similar issues as well.

I see this as a great oportunity for waterskiing. In times of recovery people will begin looking at where to spend their hard earned dollars. USAWS has been focusing on how to cut expenses while at the same time talking about ways to position the sport in a more adventagious position. We need to keep this focus on how to push our sport forwards, while obviously making sure we come thru this downturn in a stable position as well. As long as Locke can keep his eye on the ball and make sure that while cutting costs he remembers that some expenses are viatal. Dont cut back on the learn to ski programs or NSL, these are ideas that can be pushed forward and expanded to bring in as much new blood as possible.

This is a large and wealthy country that is afraid right now, much of that fear is unfounded and is only pushed forward by those that think they can benifit from the fear, but there are also very many real issues that need to be addressed. Let us take advantage of the situation, push waterskiing back to wear it belongs, like Patrice shows even the worst situation can be recovered from and improved apon.

Now back to my job as a fund manager for Bernnie Madoff...

Jan 8, 2009

Christmas wish list

So Im sitting here writing out my letter to Santa and hoping he brings me all the fun toys that are out there during this holiday season...wait...whats the date?..Ah Shit...Damn you Genny Cream Ale.
Who drinks beer from Rochester NY anyways.

Well screw it, Ill write my my letter to the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy or that homeless guy who always stands outside my house.

Steve Locke tells me that I need to buy, so beg other people to buy things for me I will.

Why would I want this monstrosity of a boat you may ask yourself? well because it may be the most pointless boat MC has built, I did not think they could top the uselessness of the X80/Maristar 280, but they have done it.

oh and I would sell it and buy a 197 and use the rest on crack and hookers.

Ok this one is just cuz my goodman is pretty beaten up and I like how the D3 rides. of course I would settle for a pair of old wooden Lake Country combos, as the ski does little to improve my skiing.

Dolphin was some quality stuff back in the day and I have heard thru the grape vine that they have some sweet stuff coming in the near future. And my old Eagle suit is a piece, thing ripped out after half a season.

Now if anyone could make a suit like my old 92 Black and neon purple and teal full suit, well I would grab it up in a second*.
*put up a post making fun of them for the fact that no one will buy any.

My hands hurt and as I ordered two pairs of Masterlines that the fingers curve the wrong way (backwards), I think Ill go for Straight line this time.

oh and look at that, it has orange bones on them...I can say things like "check it out, im getting x rayed!" and all my ski partners can ignore me...Im the coolest!

Of course I want a big ass truck!

And who would'nt want a truck from a company that will probably file bankruptcy in the near future?

Of course I want my own Gasprom truck. I mean the Russians are not selling it to Europe right now so i could probably get it on the cheap.

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...