Feb 28, 2011

Vid Day Monday - GOES NUTS with Charlie Sheen

"I was banging through 8 ball rocks; and finishing them, cuz thats how I roll"

The awesomeness of this statement is just unmeasurable. He is bragging about bombing through giant crack rocks on national TV. I thought I had seen my big dose of crazy for the week when I saw a very fat, very drunk women with about 7 teeth which were all black, take her breasts out of her shirt and twist them around each other while standing in the middle of a hotel bar...but this tops that.

Oh, and that last comment about the drunk Kentuckian is true, that actually happened...and it was fucking gross.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Vid Day Monday

My name is Old Dirty Bass Fisherman...have you ever had a bass swim into your mangroves?

Oh...and I hate fishing for real fish, its more fun to say "honey going fishing!" then drink a quart of whiskey and pass out in the bathroom of the adult book store.

Vid Day Monday

Taking advantage of flooded ditches is a blast. When the Skimasterbu is in the shop we like to bust out the old CRB pinto station wagon, hook up a rope and hit the ditches. Of course the pinto is a POS so not much works...so instead we watch vids like this and cry.

Feb 24, 2011

CRB Public Service - Help Out A Collegiate Team

Via the Contact Lion we got a little note from a dude at uw-madison asking if we would help pimp their fundraiser as they are trying to sell some t-shirts so they can buy a boat.

The t-shirt in question is a dude back barefooting naked with dong flapping around.  So, our initial response was "water must be cold huh?" and then our second thought was, "wait, you wanna buy a boat, of course we will help out"

So, please go to their ski it again site/post/whatever and buy the shirt so these kids can buy a damn boat.

To mega stud type Andy, who sent us the email, we know we said we would post this wednesday morning, but, that was the day when we were served papers, so, we apologize for the delay.

Whenever we get around to setting up our online store full of CRB stuff, like, t-shirts and coffee cups and vibrators, we should have stuff like this to pimp as well.  If nothing else, the CRB is a philanthropic type organization.

philanthropic mind you, not philandering.  That only happens when we are in Wyoming.  Don't ask.


Wow, this is smokin. the breakdown at 2:34 is god damn metal.
/turns over coffee table

Yo, jay-z and linkin park and whatever else...free lessons

Feb 22, 2011

We Have Been Served

Well, that didn't take long. A few posts ago we celebrated our 1000 post while at the same time calling out Nola (lake of sins dog) for plagiarism. If nothing else, Rykert is not known for patience when it comes to the CRB triffeling with his dog.

For those not in the know, we have a running history of various mis-adventures, outright theft and general terrifying bloggy warfare, all chronicled at this link..LINK!!!

We thought this whole issue had been put to bed (like your mom) and we had all moved on, settling into a mid-life malaise of post-work cocktails, indifference and distain..like any good relationship.

No, we poke some fun at Nola and BOOM, Rykert comes out with guns fucking blazing!!  Serving us papers and suing our ass.  Oh, and not just suing us, but, enlisting non other then Jack Mccoy from TV's Law and Order.  Remember that show when it was good back with Angie Harmon?  Wow she was/is? hot.

Anyways, so, you would think that this would be the end right?  Like, the assault on the CRB would end with the simple lawsuit...oh...you don't know how vindictive the Rykert can be..hence the CRB tag "hell hatch no fury like a rykert scorned", ha...no no..out for blood this time, sending Nola to her old stomping ground to steal the only two things near and dear to the CRB LLC.

What, your booze?  you asked?  no.  something way worse.

Your Cheeze-it supply?  gosh, if only it was that simple.

OH MY GOD, the SkiMasterBu?  Nope.

Nola came and swiped our Oars and our CRB COOLER!!  That Fiend!!!

Here is evidence of the felonious robbery.

Thats our Mad Dog 20/20!!  Damn you Nola!!

So, this was our day.  Its sort of but us back on our heels, and we had to get our wits out us before we decided on a course of action.  See, as grown ups, we don't react to situations with straight emotion.  Because if we did we would have gone by the ODBF's manual for conflict resolution, which, is weeping openly and then getting violently drunk on Jim Beam Black and finding a black jack table.  This is not the sort of reaction we were looking for in a delicate legal situation.

No, we had to be a bit more cautious in this situation, because, 1) we are being sued for accusing Nola of plagerism and 2) Nola has our god damn cooler.

This will not stand.

The old man said to take any rug in the house.

We all got together in the CRB CR (crb conference room), now, granted, the CRB CR doubles as our wet bar, so, in total Mad Men style we got bombed on scotch in the afternoon after eating our body weight in chicken wings and oysters.

This meeting took all afternoon and bled well into the evening and we even had to send out the CRB staff to the local mini-mart for supplies, i.e, cheetos, knob creek and frozen pizza.

Now, you may be laughing to yourself thinking about a bunch of idiots getting drunk and eating bad food in a cramped conference room in CRB HQ, but, you would be wrong.  Our conference room is not cramped...its quite spacious.  Take a look.

Oh yeah, thats how we roll.  What, you have walls in your office?  Please, get with the times.

Ok, enough screwing around.  We are coming back at you guys..and coming back HARD!!

We put out a call to one of the most respected attorneys in the U.S and said basically, "yo, the CRB is under attack, we need someone to come in here with a pant full of nutsack and a brain full of ideas, you got us??"

The response was awesome, "What now dickface?"   wait...

no, the response was, "AWWW SKEET SKEET SKEET!!!"

We took that as a good sign that our pay lawyer had our back.  So, who is this masked man that is going to fight tv's Jack Mccoy???


This is the kinda man that can shit gold in one hand and hold the hand of a drug dealing murder type in the other and sleep at night.  Thats what we look for in our legal representative.  Oh yeah.

Lets be honest, CRB is not 100% above the boards, oh no, we have been known to on one hand poke fun at Waterski Magazine while also knocking off 28 off passes on the same day.  WHATS THAT YOU SAY???

yep yep!!!  We are nothing if not hypocrites!!  In fact, think of the CRB as your friend who eats a bacon cheeseburger on a treadmill, we run both clean and dirty money, we work the corners and build the blocks to facilitate the corners.  Our hands are all over your ass.

So, naturally, we had to get the proper lawyer type to navigate his way around our delicate case.  Yeah, sure, there is some Nola kidnapping in the past, but, pay that no mind as we are on the straight and narrow now...well, maybe not so narrow now.  nawaimsaying???

Lets check out our man working both sides.

Thats what we need and this is a not so subtle shot at our boy Rykert, see what we got on our side???

Bring it with your Jack Mccoy son, we got this situation locked up tight!!

We are willing to not go forward with our reverse lawsuit against Nola and her theiving ways if you agree to give us back the cooler, the Cheese its, the mad dog 20/20 and while we are at it, we want you to throw in some Kosher Hot Dogs, two jars of spicy brown mustard AND Karina Knowlans Goode 9600 slalom ski.

These are our demands.

We just want our cooler back, but, you pushed us!!

Tractor Pulls are Awesome pt. 2

So the first tractor pull post got us a little to amped up and kept us thinking about how GOD DAMN cool tractor pulls are.

Now, sure, we have gone on a bit in our gallon of gas series of posts about green type boats and efficiency and new propulsion technology, but...sometimes you just wanna say "F that noise, its time to rage" and to that end, lets put one of these insane tractor pull units into a damn SkiMasterBu and just kill things?

Oh sure, your wakes for your precious 33 off pass may be messed up (that cant be right, there is no 33 off pass that we are aware of) but, holy lord you wouldn't need any kind of Zero Off system with like 3,000 horsepower.

Oh, Marcus Brown..you think you can pull?  Please son, I have 4 V-12 Allison motors that says you ain't got nothing!!!!

For that matter, why not have 4 separate transmissions and props??

Logistically, your boat may be about 15 feet wide and handle like meth'ed up Llama in a no-gravity atmosphere, but, still, that $400 you are spending for gas for that twenty minutes of skiing is well worth it.  Like you wouldn't have every person on the lake coming by to check out what you got going on.

Show skiers?  Ever feel like pulling 6 5-tier pre-fab pyramids?  From deep water?  The new SkiMasterBu can probably handle that, while cranking some James Gang and sipping on a big-gulp.

Ski Racers...ever felt the need to go 2,000 MPH?  no?  yeah, thats probably a good plan.

Barefooters?  Ever want a trough/wake situation that is completely bonkers?  We got you

Yeah...thats about all the jokes we could think of, as you would have to be towing a submarine along the bottom of the lake with the desire to get that sunken submarine on plane to need this much power.

Then again, no one at CRB needed the Caribian Jerk Chicken Wing eye drops either, but we did it.

Why this video and not some James Gang to complete the joke? Because Howlin Wolf is bitchin and you need some culture.

Tractor Pulls are Awesome

Having a bout of insomnia tonight and got to thinking about tractor pulls. First off, thought, "well, if you ever REALLY needed your boat pulled out of the lake quickly, just fire up one of these", then got to thinking, "why the hell isn't this sport more popular?"

This has everything any red-blooded American would ever want. They are loud, have huge motors and tow big-ass heavy trailers. This shit should be on ABC every Sunday afternoon after Football season, like you wouldn't tune in on Sundays at noon and get a bunch of buddies over to your house and start gambling the hell out of this sport??

You: "I got 20 bucks on the yellow tractor"

Buddy: "Your on"



Boom, its money in the bank.

Like, there should be no reason that the bars around the country shouldn't be packed full of people getting their tractor pull on.

Further more, what better cross-promotion could there be for the waterski world then a combo big-dawg slalom tournament and a tractor pull?

Pssh, for that matter, we should start calling it that everytime someone runs the slalom course that its a full pull.


i.e, for atheistic tv purposes (when we are back on ESPN), some dude...lets say Patrice Martin...runs the course, Gus Johnson would scream out orgasmically (like with your mom) "PATRICE MARTIN!! FULLLLL PULLLLL!!!!!!!!"

Jared LLewellyn kicks a 220 foot jump?? "FULLL PULLLL!!!!!!"

You finish off a double order of enchiladas from the sketch mexican place down the street? "FULLLL PULLLL!!!"

How do we get this started?? Tad and Tony??? Can we put this in for the next web cast??

Not a full pull :(

You know, in watching this video a few times its amazing how many clips there are of engines blowing up. Thats weak. Someone should have a talk with the people at edlebrock or whoever and get some cast iron or aluminum or some other space age stuff. These things should be towing full size carnival cruise ships to and fro, all willy nilly, like, going through Burger King drive thru with the greatest of ease.

BK: "Can I take your order?"
CRB: "Yeah, a #1 with a coke, no tomatoes on the whopper"
BK: "5 bucks, first window"
CRB: /fires up tractor, goes to first window
CRB: /crushes whopper
CRB: /crushes fries
CRB: /dumps out coke because BK coke is garbage
CRB: /totally makes out with a super model on tractor

Feb 21, 2011

Vid Day Monday

Someone mentioned that we are a waterski blog, to which we all had a good laugh and then went looking for waterski vids on youtube. Here is a cool vid of Rich Forrest flipping it up. Song is crap but skiing is solid.

Vid Day Monday

So on Valentines Day William Shatner read "Umbrella" by Rihanna to a cute couple of midgets and that reminded me of some other awesome readings of songs.

Bing Bang Boom and here we are with the coolest guy ever reading a Lady Gaga song. And if you will argue with me about Christopher Walken being the coolest guy ever he may just have to shoot you. In the groin.

Feb 18, 2011

Foie Gras Looks Gross

That looks delicious right?  That is Foie Gras, at least thats what turned up when we google image searched for it.

Anyways, its supposed to be some french delicacy, like, surrender and tiny automobiles.

Via Wiki, here is how its made. 

Geese and ducks are omnivorous, and, like many birds, have expansive throats allowing them to store large amounts of food, either whole or pre-digested, in the crop, an enlarged portion of the esophagus, while awaiting digestion in the stomach, similar to python feeding. In the wild this dilation allows them to swallow large foodstuffs, such as a whole fish, for a later, long digestion. Wild geese may consume 300 grams of protein and another 800 grams of grasses per day. Farmed geese allowed to graze on carrots adapt to eat 100 grams of protein, but may consume up to 2500 grams of the carrots per day. A wild duck may double its weight in the autumn, storing fat throughout much of its body and especially on the liver, in preparation for winter migration.[39] Force feeding produces a liver that is six to ten times its ordinary size.[40] Storage of fat in the liver produces steatosis of the liver cells.

The geese or ducks used in foie gras production are usually kept in a building on straw for the first four weeks, then kept outside for some weeks, feeding on grasses. This phase of the preparation is designed to take advantage of the natural dilation capacity of the esophagus.[41] The birds are then brought inside for gradually longer periods while introduced to a high starch diet. The next feeding phase, which the French call gavage or finition d'engraissement, or "completion of fattening", involves forced daily ingestion of controlled amounts of feed for 12 to 15 days with ducks and for 15 to 18 days with geese. During this phase ducks are usually fed twice daily while geese are fed up to 4 times daily. In order to facilitate handling of ducks during gavage, these birds are typically housed in individual cages or small group pens during this phase.

Yikes, that just doesn't sound good at all. Special fat livers. Blech.

Feb 17, 2011

Freddy Gets Filthy

Oh, so this is how Freddy Krueger practices jump in the off season... Throwing 200ft+ japan airs on 90" jumpers. Give me a call if you need a support group after watching this video, I'll try to answer the phone in between sobs of inadequacy. Chances are this vid will be featured in this year's edition of MasterCraft's rewind, but for now it looks like it's only on their Facebook page.

Divine Comedy

Come and see, you who are negligent,
Montagues and Capulets, Monaldi and Filippeschi:
One lot already grieving, the other in fear.

Feb 15, 2011

Just Give me a Gallon of Gas - Part 6

Awhile back ODBF posted here about the Electric Nautique, something that we have been harping on for awhile, not necessarily electric, but a more efficient use of the resources we have to tow us around the lake on whatever method we choose.

We see this as a great movement forward for our sport for a couple of reasons.  But before we get to that, we do have to bring up a point that Rykert brought up on the Lake of Sin blag, that being in the video associated with the boat, they are playing music almost the entire time!  Its an electric boat!  Its silent!

Good lord, let the boat speak, or not speak as the case may be, for itself!!  There is no marketing clutter to get through, there is no artistic theme you have to promote, let the product speak for itself, and it speaks awfully loud!

Now, lets dive into why this is a great movement forward for our sport.  Yes, more so then long jumpers, or GPS cruise controls, or bracket slalom tournaments, or the exploding cost of boats, its a huge movement for our sport because of:

1) The cost of gasoline.

We make no bones about the fact that we don't really have a real big green ideal in our heads.  We believe that in a market driven economy the checks and balances of said economy will prove to be either a market driving force, pushing whatever ever product forward, or backwards.

Meaning, it really makes no difference to us about the greenhouse gases, global warming, etc etc, what we do know is that gas is really expensive, and its a huge punch in the bank account to fill up a boat with gas for a day of skiing.  Not only a day of skiing, but, you keep adding those days up, make a summer out of it, make a life out of it and good lord that gets expensive.

Where one of us lives a gallon of premium unleaded is about $3.25.   The CRB Skimasterbu has a 40 gallon tank so, by our math thats like 85 dollars to fill up the tank.  Ouch.  Not to mention The Krista did a sexy photoshoot for Radar and we had to pick up a new pair of bindings...so, that puts our daily outlay of cash well into the 90s.

Anything we can do to save money to further our ability to get our butts wet we will look into.

2)  Electric boats are silent.

This, combined with lake associations, government orgs, etc, cracking down on skiiers for their wakes is a legit issue in the waterski world, no?  Look, we all don't have access to a private lake, cable park, what have you.  Most of us all are normal types who need to use the public waterways to wake surf before going to work.

Now, the wake part of the equation is a matter of physics, but, at the CRB compound we have got complaints before from our neighbors about firing up our boat in the wee hours of the night and tearing around the lake.  These complaints?  Valid.

However, the early morning ski set, or weekend set, or evening sesh are irritating for the people around us.  We get that, we don't like Eric the nosy neighbor to mow his god damn lawn at 9 AM on Sunday morning while we work on our fiber optic sailboat in a ship project...while nursing a hangover.

It goes both ways, and when you are a sport that seems to not have as much traction with the general public, or maybe its viewed as an elitist sport that isn't as necessary to our culture as fishing, or eating at Hooters or driving a Toyota, whatever we can do to eliminate those complaints so we can focus on the important things should be seen as a good think no?

Besides, have you heard the new Black Keys album?  We love us some Black Keys and its way easier to hear that while exploding around the 4-ball with no engine noise.

"Baby im howlin for you"
/faceplant into buoy
*face melting guitar riff*

3)  Electric motors have torque for weeks.

Unlike regular internal combustion engines, electric motors (battery packs, etc) really don't need time to spool up to get you the juice you need to go weekend wally on your combo skis.  They are full boost from the start, ready to go RIGHT NOW!  Like your horny cousin who may or may not be eying up your couch with sinister intentions.

Think of a remote control car from when you were little, unless you are to young to remember that sort of thing, but, remote control cars were something, one of the things we did with our friends, outdoors.  No, it wasn't on x-box.  You would actually put your pants on and go play outdoors, sometimes it was cold too!  But it was fun.

Anyways, those little buggers would freaking HAUL ASS right away, you push the little stick thing up and BOOM!  Right into your parents legs!

Basically, thats what an electric motor is, instant torque.  Getting our fat ass's out of the water with the quickness and (hopefully) maintaining that through the slalom course, or jump course or wake board (course? area? length of lake?), whatever....you go NOW!

Nautique is not the first company to have an electric boat, Epic boats also has a wakeboard specific boat that is powered by electricity as well, and if the Nautique is anything like it, this only re-inforces the torque thing.  From Autoblog Green.
It relies on a liquid-cooled brushless DC motor capable of pumping out 268 horsepower and 664 pound feet of torque for forward motion and can attain a top speed of about 40 miles per hour (64 km/h). Not bad considering it weighs in at 3,798 pounds.
Thats hella power.  If you have ever been in a diesel truck, you know that those things can tow houses around.  In fact, if you ever want to play a really good joke on someone, just tie their house to a diesel truck and move their house like, out into the street.  The look on their face when they get home, oh, its priceless.

4)  Room for improvement.

A straight plug-in boat is pretty awesome, but, there is the issue of finding places to charge your boat while on the water, the weight of the battery packs and the complexity of the system which equals cost.

But, take for example, a system like Chevy uses with the Volt, with a small multiple fuel source motor used to charge the battery packs.  This is a pretty good idea.  Say you have a canister of natural gas up front to power a little motor in case you are out all day and burn out your battery?  Boom fire up the little bugger and recharge yo-self.

Co-op Technology

But, more specifically, the Nautiques and the Epics and the Mastercrafts and whomever don't have the economy of scale that someone the scope of GM has to perfect and further this technology.

There are many smaller companies making tremendous strides in this area, look at Neil Youngs lincvolt project and all it takes is someone with money to feed the people with the ideas to make them work, make them become mainstream and make them viable.

Maybe they do, who are we to say otherwise, but, we can't imagine a waterski boat company having the resources to dedicate into something like this.  The capital expenditure to make a viable solution that is their own, a vertical integration of the electric propulsion system seems like a stretch.

But, going back to one of our first ideas, the market place dictates things...companies that specialize in this sort of thing should be lining up to partner up and work with boat companies to make this a reality.

Smaller companies can co-op ideas from Nissan or Chevy or Lincvolt and incoporate that into what they are doing, a cycle that makes us all happy and hopefully allows us to spend less money to actually ski and in the end isn't that the point?

Furthering Technology

While the electric boat, propulsion system is awesome and can hopefully lead a game changing type shift in our consumption habits, its really just the tip of the iceberg no?

Look, we can do all sorts of things to help keep the electric boat system powered up, form the Volt style mini motor to keep it charged, to solar panels on the boat, to paddle style in-water regenerative braking systems, i.e, paddle wheels under the boat that spin when the boat is moving to recharge batteries...etc. 

But, we can even look further.  When thinking about a regenerative system for the batteries we pondered using algea, or seaweed remnants or whatever crud is in the water to help burn and make energy.  

Just spit-balling here, but, don't you think there would be a way to harness the power that is allready in a big pile of water?  There has to be something in lakes that can be used as fuel.  It would require an amazing amount of technology to efficiently and quickly make enough power to run a boat.  Fish poop?  That green crap that floats around in the water?  Who knows, but, its gross so we should burn it so we can ski.  

Some while ago we heard that, we think, Apple was looking into wireless power cords for computers...i.e, something plugged into a wall socket, something to your computer to power it, but, there was no cord...wireless electricity. 

This may be some sort of hallucination or pipe dream, but, if wireless electricity was feasible in a bite size package like a boat, imagine what could be done!  Lakes set up with wireless electricity, and you just tap into the network and you are off and running.  Your boat would be simply a receptacle for the power, no need for battery packs, or anything, just a converter, a propeller and some beer. 

Think of how far we have come in terms of technology since the dawn of Al Gores internet age, what we consume and how we consume it has changed dramatically and its all a blur to keep up with it.  Sort of.  Most of the changes are simply new paint on a shitty old car, but, some of it pushes things forward and makes life more interesting and increases what we feel is possible. 

What does this really come down to, when you boil everything down to its core, its about money right? In pretty much everything we do we are driven by money.  Not everything, no, you ride your bike or have a beer or have relationships or eat chicken wings, because, its good...its good for you, its good for your soul and you enjoy it. 

But, if chicken wings cost 40 dollars a wing, we would probably just have the cheeseburger.  If having riding your bike was 50 dollars per 100 feet, you may just walk. 

Money does really drive what we do...we do what we enjoy within the bounds of what is affordable and reasonable given our individual circumstances. 

Electric boats, hybrid boats and whatever future propulsion technology comes down the road will be driven by money.  Can the companies afford to develop a viable solution, can we as consumers afford to purchase said product, etc. 

We don't think that it really comes down to it that we are overly concerned with greenhouse gasses, but, we are concerned with the quality of the lakes we ski in, so we want efficient boats.  We are concerned about the water we drink, so we want things disposed of correctly, we want what we want because of how it directly effects us and then secondarily affects others...that may be a big leap, but, we don't think its that far off.  

We live in a society that is driven by money, how much it costs and how much does it cost me to maintain a lifestyle that I enjoy...can I continue what I am doing?  With gas prices what they are, that is a valid question and companies have taken that challenge to try and do something about it. 

Will these boats be something that the average person can actually afford?  That remains to be seen, but, as we move forward in life, the pressures to further that advancement will, we think, become stronger as the ancillary costs of skiing rise.  We think the market will push companies to develop alternative sources for power, it will correct itself in the proper way and with as much ability and technology at our disposal it will be something exciting to see.  When companies see an avenue for profit, driven by whatever market factors are at work, it is all the incentive needed to get after it.  If it happens to be green so be it, but, at the end of the day, we want to ski however we get to do that doesn't matter.  Lets just get wet and the rest will sort it self out.  

Feb 14, 2011

We Love This Girl

You have all probably heard about or seen the reporter lady in Los Angelos who started speaking in tongues live on the air covering the Grammys and god help us, but, we just laughed like we were being gang-tickled in a clown car while high on the drugs.

Does that make us bad people? We have been in this situation before (not live on tv) but where you are talking and your brain just goes about 1000 miles per hour and your mouth just can't keep up.

Here is an example

CRB: "A derp a derp herp a gerper...um...haaka derpa...damnit...(deep breath)...heda gerd flakka wakka GOD DAMNIT!! oh! there we go! haha, no Im fine, just want some waffles"

Waitress: "Ok CRB, would you like some coffee?"

CRB: "Dogga wakaka flim flam on the mamajam"

Old Lady: "Pardon me ma'am, but, I speak Jive"

See, it happens all the time. In fact, this reporter lady was actually probably not even live on regular people TV. IT was probably on some future TV channel, she actually spit (hot fire) out three chapters of Stephen Kings "The Stand".

Trash Can man rules.

Besides, all over the interwebs people were making fun of her as if no one has ever fucked up in their life before, if you look close you can see there is a point where she goes in her head "oh my god I have come off the rails" and yet she powers right on through and throws it back to the studio like a pro. We have a feeling that most people, especially those in the blog world, would have shrieked, dropped the microphone and ran away...then pretended to be to cool about all, "pssh, yeah, that job sucked anyways"

This should remind you of the Boom goes the Dynamite guy, who just got all sorts of tongue tied and screwed up and was slobbering all over himself and you have to know that both these people had some sort of sheer terror in their heads knowing that they still had to vamp for like 10 seconds or a minute or whatever. You can't start over. The great part of live TV.

Its like the ODBF trying to pick up someone at a bar, its just a disaster happening in slow motion that we all know is going to end poorly, but, you applaud the effort.

"Good one there ODBF, we really liked the part about the racehorse, a fishing pole and ass wax...good stuff, phone number? haha didn't think so"

Vid Day Monday

Did we just steal this off the Ball of Slalom Shenanagenz site? Yes, yes we did. I have a copy of this sitting on my stove at home. You may ask why its on my stove and that is a legit question to which I have no good answer. I will probably watch it as it looks sweet as hell, the slow motion stuff will probably get Dig Dug all worked up and he may stab some people randomly in the street. In the past he may have gone down the street to his local Master Craft dealer and raised hell, but as they have traded in selling boats for selling dust bunnies and vacant buildings that is probably a no go.

Oh and Marcus Brown is awesome and the CRB crew has a collective man crush on him, so that is another reason we will watch it.

Valentines Day With the CRB

The CRB has come out with our own line* of Valentines Day cards. Your wife, girl friend, steady, love interest, sister (you sick bastard), cousin (its ok if your from Kentucky), girl on the side will love this card and give you hella loving.

* And by line we mean one, and by our own we mean we stole it from here.

And for those that do not have a date tonight:

A common problem men have after reading the CRB on Valentines Day.

Endonatas Motiejunas says:
February 14th, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Thanks – now how am I going to explain looking like I just ate bad cheese during my date tonight?

Girl: And she never cleans up after herself, which is soooo annoying. Does that make me a bad person?
Me: Ugh…ugh-ugh…so wrong…
Girl: Are you even LISTENING?
Me: (in best Bender imitation) ‘Course I am, baby. You’re the only girl for Bender. Whoops, my bad, forgot to break character.
Girl: *tosses ice cream in face*
Me: *eats ice cream, contemplates what sexsy pr0nz he’ll be looking at tonight*

Survey says…”rooks rike it’s going to be a very Asian Monday!”

/Asian Mondays are the best Mondays

Vid Day Monday

The cats at University of Wisconsin - Madison have sent us another vid. These guys know how to get their film on. I love the opening shot, its really cool how the water drops fall...HEY FIX YO DAMN WATERING SYSTEM!! THERE ARE DRY SPOTS ALL OVER THE PLACE! WHAT IS THIS? RUSSIA!!???!!

Vid Day Monday

Gang Fights are getting out of hand.

Feb 10, 2011

Creaky Turns 1000 Posts Old

The CRB turns 1000 posts old with this post.

A post of an old guy drinking and smoking.  We figured it was about right, seeing as we are the irresponsible side of the waterski interblagocracy.

We have had tons of emails coming in via the contact Lion asking what we planed on doing to celebrate this milestone, and the answer is simple, do what we do here at the CRB compound.

Fire up the CRB cooler, invite all our employees and families and friends to partake in the festivities.

Even Nola, the dog from Rykerts lake of sin, decided to drop us a line.

"Hey losers, you your the best waterski blog there is that less then half the time actually talks about waterskiing, cuz, your the only waterski blog that spends less then half the time talking about waterskiing, which also makes you the worst"

Thanks Nola, all though you should check yourself for plagiarism.

So, BOOM, 1000 posts.

Someone Make This Into a Real Movie Pronto!!

Via awesome music website Antiquiet comes this sweet new "video" for The Black Keys "Howling for You".

Its not even a video in the real sense, its more like the best movie ever condensed down to 3 minutes.   Trying to describe it doesn't do it justice, but, basically its...young girl sees dad die, grows up to be hot, falls in love with guy who killed dad, then kills people and Todd Bridges shows up.  Boom!

Seriously though, if Alexa Wolff showed up with a sword and the intention of stabbing me to death after a vigorous "jump set", we would probably go along with that plan.  New personal best!!!!

Update: its no longer embed-able.  Like your mom.  Click here to watch it.  (IMDB

Thats how its done folks.

Besides, The Black Keys are awesome and if you don't have their music in one form or another you have failed. Because if our lord savior jesus christ has taught us anything, its that everyone should like the exact same things that we do, otherwise you are to be shunned and stoned.

At least thats how we read it. Its possible we were off a bit on some of the meanings.

Feb 9, 2011

Full Length Ski Film - G.N.A.R.

GNAR is a game pioneered by legendary pro skier Shane McConkey at his home mountain Squaw Valley, and this movie is a tribute to his memory and his perception of the sport of skiing. And it's free.

No joke. The video below is actually a 1 hr 9 min film, released for FREE by filmmakers Scott and Robb Gaffney on Unofficial Networks.

Now I know this is the second snow ski vid I've posted in a week (and I'll do my best to get my head back to water skiing soon), but let's be real, this will now join Thank You in your top two fluffy white videos of all time.

Keep in mind, this one is a little different... and after watching you'll agree it's one-of-a-kind. Not only is their ridiculously bad-ass skiing, but it is one of the funniest things I've watched online ever. If you want a better run down, you can watch the trailer here. But I promise if you put in the time to scope the whole thing, you'll be stoked you did.

Still floating,

G.N.A.R. from UnofficialNetworks on Vimeo.

Feb 8, 2011

In Transit

The wakeboard movie world dominates watersking vids like its going out of style. These guys know how to put on a show and have been pumping out sweet vids for most of wakeboardings existence as a sport. There have been a few quality vids from waterskiers but ski vids are still in their infancy and have alot of growing up to do.

Josh Robinson drops the very solid "In-Transit" on the world in March with premiers in Orlando for the US, Melbourne and Perth for the Aussies and Auckland for the Kiwis.

In-Transit will also be avalable online HERE once they finish building that site. But like most wakeboarders they are lazy and its not done yet. Had to get at least one burn in.../not funny

In-Transit Trailer from Josh Robinson on Vimeo.

Feb 7, 2011

Vid Day Monday - Best Skier Ever?

There are people out there that are it seems can do anything on the water. We all have one friend that seems to be able to pick up any new skill as if it is nothing. I have a friend that had never tricked before, tossed him my goodman and he was landing flips and all basic surface and wake turns by the end of his first set. I hate him with a passion.

This vid is of Matt May, nephew of the show ski legend Skip Gilkerson, and he shows here that he is one of those guys that can do anything.

Skip is the guy wearing the stupid orange hat in the vid, he wears that thing all the time. He is weird but he was an amazing skier back in the day and he likes to tell people that.

Skip: Here take these skis
Matt: /skis
Skip: Hit the jump
Matt: /sticks it
Skip: Do some freestyle jumping
Matt: /heli, front flip, gainer, mobe, discombobulator
Skip: Look a barefoot jump
Matt: /Xgames the shit out of the barefoot ramp
Skip: Heres a bunch of other ski stuff
Matt: /Shoe ski flip, Sky Ski flip, ATB, bitchez, other ski related stuff
Matt: Turns 16

Vid Day Monday

How does this happen? Again off topic but awesome.

This vid reminds me how much I hate reading all of the twitter messages from people in warm climates talking about skiing. Even worse is the messages that say things like "50 DEGRZ?? Ill have to wear a wetsuit today!! THIS WEATHER IS BULL SHITZ!" Yea, so while you guys were whining about that "Arctic cold front" in Florida last week I was shoveling out 6 foot drifts with negative 30 wind chills. So yes, that means I hate you all.
/moves to Florida
//whines about it being to cold to ski

Vid Day Monday - Off Sport

These are all clips from the early years of The Simpsons, back when they had good writers. Someone with way to much time on there hands put together all of the clips of McBain, and it actually makes a coherent 4 minute movie. The Simpsons used to be so bad ass, then they got crappy. And actually this season has not been nearly as shitty as the last couple.

/not waterski related

Vid Day Monday

This vid is fantastic. Thats really all that needs to be said...Ok I can't help myself.
Hot chick? Check
Fake boobs? Check
Furry mask? Check
Cool car? Check
Trombone? Check

Sweet combo...but it needs something else...

Simulated groping? Check

If you don't agree that this combo makes a perfect video then I don't want to know you.

Feb 1, 2011

Best. Skiing. Ever.

What do sick dirty powder and Pink Floyd have in common? Nimbus Independent's short ski film "Thank You" is what. Nimbus is a production company put together by pro skiers Eric Pollard and Pep Fujas, along with Chris Benchetler and Any Mahre, and they are pretty much the coolest kids on the block, thanks to their free webisodes like this one.

"Thank You" in particular is a re-edit from some of their footage over the years, but you'd think Nimbus had been rocking out to Pink Floyd from the start, the way this thing flows. The story behind the title? Nimbus wanted to show their appreciation to their fans... I believe it's the fans however, who owe Nimbus their thanks.

The vibe starts out strong with artsy shots of random locals talking about predicting the weather, but be sure to turn up the volume before you hit 4:30 when the skiing starts coming hard...

...Well, now that I've contributed my 132nd view to Nimbus's vimeo page, I'm going to go back outside and start up my snow dance again, because if it doesn't dump soon here in California, I'll have to resort to moving to the Rockies... screw it... I'm going to the beach.

LifeJacket - Out

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...