"Andy crawled to freedom through five-hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want too. Five-Hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile."
For the people of West Lafayette, Indiana, their swim will be slightly longer, but, for reasons unknown to the CRB, the local Wastewater treatment plant decided to schedule repairs the same week as the "Taste of Tippecanoe", a local festival celebrating all things foody.
The festival takes place in West Layfayette along the banks of the mighty Wabash River where, we hope for the sake of this post making any waterski sense, the Purdue University skis. If they don't, well, just imagine a thriving local community that really enjoys their tubes and skurfers on the Wabash.
That will certainly curtail the local waterski activities for the local residents, of which, one would be the Purdue Collegiate Ski Team. We wonder what Purdue's most famous waterskier has to say about this?
Whats funnier is that in order to combat the odor emminating from the poop, the festival organizers bought a $1,700 machine to mask the odors. What can someone purchase for that much money? Why, a gigantic fan!! With new and better odors in it!
The CRB is thinking about putting our best investagative reporter on this situation, something seems foul. We smell something amiss. This could be a shitty situation.
We tend to think the inventor of this company, the smelly fan company, is actually responsible for this "scheduled" repair at the wastewater treatment plant. Think about it.
Step 1. Design anti-shit smell fan thing
Step 2. Find local food festival
Step 3. ???
Step 4. Profit!
Holy Smokes! What a good idea!
Can you imagine skiing around and smelling shit all over the place? All though if there was shits everywhere, you could slalom around them like a course!
Back to work Poopsmith!!
Can you imagine the sales tactics that this company must use to sell their anti-shit smell technology?
WardenNortonLOL: Lord! It's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind!
taterT.O.T: /cuts check
WardenNortonLOL:Don't you mention money to me again. You sorry SON OF A BITCH! NOT IN THIS ROOM, NOT EVER.
taterT.O.T: sorry? You are being obtuse.
Whoops...dang, I can't find the pen...
WardenNortonLOL: I want that pen found. Not tomorrow, not after breakfast - *now*.
taterT.O.T: You certainly are demanding. Anyways, I have another one.
Here you go. thx!
***ONLINE HOST*** taterT.O.T has left the chatroom
WardenNortonLOL: /puts check in bible, puts bible in safe in wall
Get my stuff down t'laundry. Two suits for dry-clean and a bag of whatnot. Tell 'em if they over- starch my shirts again, they're gonna hear about it from me.
Babblingbrooks: /hangs self