Mar 18, 2016

A Quick Patrice Martin Timeline

Patron saint of the CRB stopped by our offices the other day to try and figure out what the hell we do on a daily basis.  Which, these days, isn't as much as we used to.  Besides making fun of ball of spray, we mainly spend our days eating sliced meats, floating around in the skimasterbu and occaisonally falling down the stairs like ED 209 while wearing trick skis, we are resting on our laurels like a boss.

But, Patrice was in no mood for our nonsense, and took us all into our conference room to discuss the steps it takes to be good.  It doesn't come from a witty sense of humor, a lethal ability to construct sentences or the unmatched talent to fall on most waterskis, no...he said...its more then that.

He then proceeded to give us a two hour long presentation on what it takes to make it in this world.

Other then the breaks for coffee and snacks, and despite the total media black out he institituted, here is a cliff notes version of the pump up meeting that Patrice Martin gave the CRB staff.

Patrice at either 10 or 30 years old.
 You have to train.  Your skill means dick without training.  Work till your exhausted, and then keep going.


Put that training to use.  Go out and work.  A backside wake 180 may seem like its simple, but, thats because he worked at it, so its second nature.  yeah, this takes effort.


After working so hard, its ok to give yourself a reward.  Now this is either Patrice or Debby Harry, either way, its sensual as hell.  But, the point was, you need to be focused on your goal and determined to get there.  But, if you are so single minded that that you forget the rest of your life, you wont actually enjoy the fruits of your labour and then what is the point in the first place?


Oh!  We are in color now, and by god trick releases are for pussies!  You master one aspect, and then you move on to the next level.  Go from the best at handle passes to toe tricks.  Toe tricks, btw, don't do them. Bad.  But, for the purpose of this powerpoint, it proved to be a tear jerker.


Oh look!  I am the best at one thing and he decided to go be awesome at another thing.  The point was to not be so crazy on one aspect that you cant go out and do more.  strap on a skurfer and go be great at that.  In 2016 there is a hella Skurfer tour going.  Its underground, like, only the cool kids know about it.  but, you should maybe do that as well.


And don't let your professional goals get in the way of your personal goals as well.  We need to have a proper balance of work and life, we all need to have that and pass on our genes and have a partner in crime.  They keep us sane, a friend to help us battle through life.  It actually helps us perform better and be a better person.


Eventually, you will have kids.  You can pass along your love of the sport to your kids.  Share that love, share the passion, don't pressure them into being what you weren't, but, allow them to...wait.

What....

Thats us??

yep, thats a little CRB!


Thats us!!!

Patrice Martin is our dad?????

YES!!!!!

Take that trick release off the boat!!  Lets do a damn toe trick pass!!!!

Praise Jesus!

Mar 8, 2016

There Are Some Fish Over There


HURRY, THEY ARE OVER THERE.

DAMNIT FRANK, 250 HORSEPOWER?  C'MON!

THE FISH AREN'T GOING TO BE THERE ANYMORE IF YOU DON"T HUSTLE

FASTER

FASTER

FASTER

/gets to spot

/fucks around with tackle box

/eats some jerky

OVER THERE!  GO NOW YOU BASTARD!

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...