Feb 26, 2010

Lake Trout Carry Out - long time no see edition

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.

The Wall Street Journal takes a look at the boat industry and how they are dealing with the drop off in boat sales.

Looks like the Malibu open is going to be heading to Wisconsin (hopefully with out the good Doc!), and it looks like the wetsuit manufacturer Dolphin Wetsuits has answered my prayers and is putting up the cash to bring back Pro Freestyle Jumping. So needless to say I have sent an open invite to all of those cats to grab a beer and some Ritz Chips from the CRB Cooler.

Looks like the Pro Wakeboard tour is shutting down a small local wakeboard event. The CRB stands up for the little guy...or some such nonesense.

Ol' shred and dreds likes to post pics of people (Terry Winter) in...um...interesting positions. Terry this should be a lesson to you, dont invite Marcus anywhere.

Malaysian newspapers dont know what waterskiing is. Its a pretty simple equation actually: Waterskiing = Surfing? False

A very sad story from the Southern 80 International ski race in Australia. This along with Kyle Eades recent injury are reminders of how skiing gives us so much but it can take it away as well. Some sports respond so well to accidents like this, as can be seen by the hugh out poring of support for Kyle and some sports can respond terribly. The Luge federation has blamed the Georgian lugers death on his actions instead of doing all possible to prevent accidents such as this.

Chuck Rowe of Indmar has been awarded with USAWS educational foundations Award of Distinction. Also being honored are Dave Clark, Jack Lukes, Jay Bennett and Jack Wiley. That is quite the group! oh and Darin Shapiro is beign inducted into the Hall of Fame. Funny that slalom ski mag would only focus on Chuck Rowe cuz he gives them dollas and just note the rest as an after thought. Guys try not to ALWAYS look like shills for your sponsers. I know you are supposed to hold up their best interests but once in awhile a balanced story would be awsome.

Waterski Mag: We report you decide... Take note of the following:
For instance this article from the Times Colonist from NOT USA*, see how they cover everyone evenly and let you make up your mind about it. AMAZING I KNOW!
*Canada (hey its the olympics gotta root for the home team)

We have mentioned this chick in a previous Lake Trout cuz she is the host of some big show in the UK...I mean NOT USA...and apperantly the show is watched by about 7 million peeps with bad teeth. Well she skied across the English Channel to raise money for charity and this article talks about that or maybe about some guy getting fired...or killer lizards from space. What? You want me to actually read this stuff before putting it up here? F the F off and do it yourself.

Any Day you can get covered in nasty sewage flood water is a good day in Brazil.

Feb 22, 2010

Video Monday - Ski Jump Ski Fly

Years back Scot Ellis and Bruce Nevin (me thinks? cant remember) developed ski flying, which flipping ruled. Crazy distances and awsome crashes and all that noize. Hell Jaret went 299... freaking 1 foot shy of a football field.

Here is Mark Shaw rocking out a nice jump with I belive Scot doing the color commentary.

But long before ol' Ralph Samuleson strapped a few boards to his feet and hit the water the crazy scandinavians had been jumping Ol' Sondre Norheim decided to jump over rocks. (huh?)

Some how this sport is almost as big as soccer and F-1 in Germany. Lets copy them!

And by lets copy them I dont mean the crashing all over the place I mean the big crowds and lots of dollars and all that fun shiznit.

and a pretty sweet vid of ski jumping with a video camara.

Feb 21, 2010

Waterskiiers make their play for the...Winter Olympics? UPDATE!!

When you think of skiing and the Olympics Norway will be one of the first countries that comes to mind. Cross Country skiing and the Biathlon are practically the national sports of Norway. So where else would waterskiing go to prove that it belongs in the Olympics?

Ummm...Not sure that is going to cut it...Ok how about we try combining Biathilon with Waterskiing. Ok lets first watch the Biathlon.

Wait...thats how it works? hmmmm. Ok maybe we should just pass on this one.

Not so fast,  CRB HQ sent out an urgent memo to all our field reporters seeking out any sort of information in regards to the waterski biathlon.

Our first report is in from a reporter in the Lousianna area.  Unsure if this pic if authentic or not, but, it does appear to be Danyelle Bennett trick skiing carrying a machine gun with the Olympic logo on her rash guard.  Is it fake?

Photo 1: toting gun on lake
Photo 2: Shooting at un-named target

Feb 19, 2010

Olympics and Skiers

So its friday at the CRB sweatshop and that means its time to get down to work and rock out something awsome*.

*read some blogs and take a nap

Well I was going to bitch about how waterskiing is to focused on an impossible dream of getting into the olympics and all that. Then I realized that if we were in the olympics important sports magizines would take notice and the world would realize that waterskiing rules.

Magizines like the SI swimsuit issue HIOOOOOOOOO

Oh and waterski chicks are way hotter. SI swimsuit waterski edition! WOOT

And whats with all the athletes in winter sports wearing bikinis (NOT COMPLAINING), how about we see some pics of the hotness that is sports that wear these types of suits already!

Ahhh, this is why BC is not a waterski mecca...

But this is why Australia is.

Feb 16, 2010

Randomly Spotted: Mastercraft CSX 220

Throughout the day the operations of CRB are many and complex. Take for instance, today, Tuesday February 16th, 2010. Our complicated morning ritual of making coffee, locating a pair of pants and turning on a computer, and orchestrating the world of waterski via blog was rudely interrupted with a powerful hunger for BBQ.

Now, lucky for us, their is a great BBQ joint located just down the street from CRB HQ, the owner of the place, Tony Yipperstein, makes a mean shredded pork sammy, with a side of criss cut fries and a couple cocktails and well, lunch is served.

On our way back, heading down the street we were passed by a big white pick-up towing what appeared to be a big ski boat. Naturally, we all got excited and wanted to know what sort of splendor was in store for us.

No matter how much time you spend in, on our around the water, anytime you see a ski boat, anywhere, you always get a little more excited. That boat is someone's story, they ski and play and drink and hook up and whatever else in that boat.

Its awesome, its someone who shares a similar lineage with you, its a rare breed that purchases a ski boat and you feel a certain kinship with this person.

So, all of us piled in the CRB contact Chevette were happily looking forward to seeing what kind of boat and who this person may be who is obviously both a fellow waterski bum and avid CRB reader.

We all peered out the windows to see what was about to go by:

A real picture that we took, then photoshopped...we are real journalists now!!!

What on earth is that thing?  It has all the hallmarks of a waterski boat.

1) Platform

2) Inboard motor

3) Wakeboard holder things

4) Familer V hull

5) It says Mastercraft on the side

But, what gives??  Thats not a ski boat, its like a Prostar 190 and a Fan boat got drunk one night after seeing a Eddie Money cover band at a bowling alley, got naked in the back of a Buick LeSabre and nine months later this thing was born.

You can't say that you don't have a little Eddie Money in your head now, "Take me home tonight!  I don't want to let you go till we see the light!!"  Great bar closing song, btw.  

Its officially a Mastercraft CSX220, and from their website they state.
Embrace every possibility of life on the water in the versatile CSX 220. This high-performance center-console boat maximizes every opportunity for you and 11 friends or family members. From cruising, wakeboarding, skiing to fishing – this athletic and adventurous machine is the "can do" boat. The Cross Sport Xtreme's open SuperFly bow features a double helm seat with bolster and acts like a lounge allowing you to stretch out. The bow also provides a forward anchor locker with a boarding ladder for easy access.
We aren't trying to be douchy or anything here about this boat, we are sure that Mastercraft did research or whatever and figured out that this boat would put what all companies shoot for, Dolla Dolla Bills Y'all in the bank.

But, something seems amiss, it seems to strike a uncomfortable chord with us, it doesn't seem to strive to be a great ski boat which is what we associate Mastercraft with.

inner monologue: "wow am I a bad idea"

To make a comparison it reminds us of a Jeep Compass.  Sure, it says Jeep on it, but, its not really a Jeep.  A real Jeep is something like a Wrangler or a Cherokee, something that drives like shit on real roads but mops the floor of your Acura P.O.S SUV when its time to bash over some rocks or through mud or snow or whatever.

The central ethos of Jeep was a sort of can-do, off-road attitude that manifested itself in their corporate culture, making tough, off-road vehicles that also had a manner of on-road pleasantness that spoke to their brand identity.

Thats the thing with this Mastercraft.  Sure its still a Mastercraft, but, to us, its not a REAL Mastercraft, its a bastardization of the brand that should be left to crap boats like Bayliner or 4-Winns or some shit.

Actually, a better idea would be, sure, you can make this boat, but, don't brand it as a Mastercraft, define a new brand identity for your so-called cross-over boats.

It takes years and alot of work to build a reputation and equity into a name and, as evidence by Jeep, a blink of an eye to destroy it.  Hopefully we are wrong, but, a "real" Mastercraft belongs on a lake with skiers and wakeboarders and tubes and whatever in it, with your family and friends tearing up the water, not, standing in the middle of the boat looking for a fishing spot in the ocean.


ODBF brought up the Mastercraft 300, which we had never heard of.  Or, have heard of it but more in passing.  anyways, we fired up the google machine and got some pics and HOLY CRAP that thing is huge.

you had to say it, blot out the sun.  harf harf harf

My goodness, hopefully they sell a ton of these and make a regular x-star or whatever more affordable to us lovable, fuzzy idiots on our computers.  

Feb 15, 2010

Vid Monday Continued

Ok so this Vid Monday idea will probably die today. Not because I dont like it but because it leads to the CRB staff just watching vids all day.

CRB submited vid suggestions for Vid Monday:

Dig Dug is watching speed trials of Super Mario Bros levels
Life Jacket is watching Coast Guard training vids (he is a life jacket...)
Minion is watching prison bitch vids. (they have those? wtf)
Rowboat Abides asked what the internet is
And the accounting staff sent me S&M porn vids. (they are sick)

But ODBF came thru and found this vid of crazy jumping.

Seriously, dude is doing a helli with a harness on and towing a guy doing a front. Now that is awsome.


Gina Carino is hot...and she could kill you with her bare hands.

Part 1 = Excellent
Part 2 = Bogus

This may be the worst thing I have ever seen. If any guy can watch this and not wince...well you have issues. And who thought this was a good idea to do a show about?

Monday Morning Vids

Monday morning vids? Sure why not.

From the first of the real quality ski vids, Edged In Water, comes this clip of Wade Cox showing he could still rip it up.

Feb 12, 2010

Kyle Eade Injured

From "Australian Skier" on ski fly

Kyle has crashed in the south island of new zeland yesterday and was
airlifted to hospital. He has a break between vert 3/4 ( I think)
and has severed the nerve…doesn’t sound too good, he had no feeling
in legs yesterday morning but could feel the pin jab slightly in his toe
yesterday afternoon they are operating today.

Back injuries are never good, even worse is the news that he severed the spinal nerves. But if he can feel the pin jab in his toe that is actually very good news considering the situation.

The CRB is normally just full of dick jokes and our random thoughts, but sometimes we all need to take a good look at our sport. Waterskiing is not only the coolest sport there is but it is also full of the best people around. Just check out the skifly page or any of the waterskier twitters out there to get an idea of how close knit of a family waterskiers really are.

Our thoughts and best wishes go out to Kyle and his family.


Now this is funny! All of you mac geeks out there that would sell your children into slavery just for the chance to get ahold of the latest Steve Jobs gadget completly deserve this. You spent 2 grand on your lappy and I spent $500, so unless that lappy makes all of the chicks in porn look 4 times hotter it was a complete waste of money.

Tosh Destroys an iPad
Web Redemption2 Girls, 1 Cup ReactionDemi Moore Picture

Oh and this Ipad thing not only sounds like a feminane product, but it is completly pointless. Why do you need a really big Iphone?

Feb 11, 2010

3 lake ski site? yes please

The City of Columbus IN is looking into building a new park with baseball fields, some other stuff...and 3 SKI LAKES.

The water ski lakes are part of a downtown redevelopment plan, which also calls for the construction of indoor and outdoor sports complexes.

The CRB staff has alredy rented the moving trucks and packed everything up. I am currently typing this while sitting in the parking lot of a starbucks stealing the interwebs.

The ski lakes project probably won't start until fall at the earliest, said
Ed Curtin, executive director for Columbus Redevelopment Commission.

ODBF: What the hell are we going to do in Columbus until then?

City of Columbus: do this stuff

ODBF: SCREW THAT if there is no skiing Im not coming

City of Columbus: Its winter! The water is all frozen anyways.

ODBF: I BRING THE HEAT. That pussy ice cant stop the ODBF!

ODBF: /pulls on sunggy

Columbus eyes developing ski lakes near downtown as sports draw link
Irwin-Sweeney-Miller Foundations gifts $97,970 for Columbus ski lake plan link

Feb 9, 2010

London Night Jump

London Night Jump is one of the coolest events of the year by far. Well pretty much any night jump freaking rules! But the London Night jump was one of the first* tournaments to realize how awsome jumping looks when done under lights.

*maybe the first, but really what do you want me to do reaserch or something?

The CRB made the treck last summer to the LA Night Jam, we could not make the trip to London as we are broke and live in a homeless shelter off MLK dr. But we will be making the trip back to Bennetts this year. We also hear word coming down the pipe that the new Malibu open which is heading back to Wisconsin (sans Dr. Jim we hope) and will also have a night jump. We hear that one is right in the city and could get a huge crowd. There are probably some other night jumps but again, I dont feel like doing any actual research and our staff of trained monkeys is out for the night at the local piano bar*.

*dont ask me why a piano bar, they are monkeys.

Oh The Weather Outside is Frightful...

This is what the lake looks like right now. Well not my lake but some lake somewhere...looked like that...once...damn it leave me alone its freaking cold out there.

And what warms a good waterskier up?
Pics of hot peeps!*

Now this is some winter skiing we could get into. Well winter skiing other then the kind we already do...which saddly does not currently involve wicked hot girls in bikinis.
*would add pics for you ladies out there but no one ever sends any in*
And for a bit of good tunes how about some "Them Crooked Vultures"

CRB Off Topic - Led Zepplin

The Rowboat often adds tunes to some of our posts, but as I have nothing waterski related to rant about right now...Here is some kick ass Led Zepplin!

Not sold on the open shirts and all that weird shit but damn did they make good music. Maybe someday soon a new band will come around that can make good tunes again. Or maybe the general public will realize that Nickleback and bullshit music making ilk are god awful.

I'm jumping in here as well!  Regarding the bullshit like Nickleback and other assorted crap, check out this awesome editorial from a cool music site, Antiquiet, LINK.  Here is the relevant quote about Nickleback and Miley Cyrus.
Stardom is manufactured, and it’s not measured by talent. Nobody over fourteen is under the impression that cookie-cutter stars Nickelback and Miley Cyrus are the pinnacle of musical achievement, but they’re international phenomenons with staggering sales and exposure. This simpleton argument that we’re killing this beautiful, universal essence by cutting Goliath off at the knees is, reliably, one of two things: either the desperate rantings of the fatcats and middlemen just beginning to feel the gears of this beautiful New Machine tearing into their flesh, or simply the reaction to the cold slap of reality when a hack artist realizes that they’re actually going to have to spill their blood and eat the dirt that comes with paying their dues and building their craft into something respectable, something people want to pay for.
Its a great article.  Preachy at times, but, generally quite relevant to the majority of stuff that is out there.  Real talent and music do shine through, but, its rare.  With that in mind and for the people from the D.C area that just got bitch slapped by snow, here is a version of Winterlong by Neil Young.

Feb 7, 2010

Smiling Dog presents Supa Bow

Below is the worlds best dog. A dog that smiles. The internet is a wonderful place. A place that has things like, the snooki crash, A velociraptor on a bike, sharks, the bear-shark-tapus and metal dogs

So, today is the super bowl, which has become almost unbearable in the lead up to it.  Two weeks of fame-whores and idiots peddaling every conceivable product and looking for air-time regardless of anything even tangentially relating to the football game.

Its AWESOME!  I need more of Kurt Warner selling us God and Milk, I need more Marissa Miller selling me AXE hair product, or whatever the fuck else is going on.  Its great.  Its like one gigantic orgy of marketing.  Marvelous.

Anyways, as ODBF reported, our employees made our picks and sense the ODBF somehow doesn't know how to use a phone or the google machine, i put my pic in the comments.  big deal.  I want the saints to win, so i pick em.

Why?  Because Drew Brees is awesome and Peyton manning is a dick.  Thats it.  Thats the list.

Feb 4, 2010

Super Bowl

So this right here is why I will be rooting for the saints on sunday. Well I was going to root for my home town team, the Quebec Nordiques, but then some asshole told me this was the NFL so I had to pick a team actually playing in the game.

No Im not cheering for them because some dumb ass got his TV all shot up. No Im all for the Saints because a few of those guys rolled up with beers and smokes as if they were at a house party. And if the saints win then I think it will finally be socialy acceptable to make Katrina jokes. (no it wont, but political correctness is not a CRB supported ideal)

Oh and the fact that I can't stand the colts.

Very unPC disaster jokes over at KSK

Recently we polled the CRB staff for their team of choice this weekend. Needless to say our staff is stupid.

CRB staff game picks

New Orleans Saints

The Ciudad Barrios Penitentiary San Miguel, El Salvador Panthers

Ralph (AR)
Hey...um...guys? My last paycheck bounced...

Life Jacket
Arizona Diamondbacks

Arthur (AP)
Indianapolis Colts (he was fired)

Dig Dug
NA (could not catch him, bastard digs fast)

Chicago White Stockings


We gave up our poll after the zombies broke into the office and ate Janet in Marketing.

Feb 2, 2010

Lake Trout Carry Out - Cuz I Can Edition

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.

So as usual the IWWF* has completly failed to have an interesting website or to provide any actual information on said website.


Not really sure why this moto cross website puts up waterski news, but they do...like this bit about Liquid Force and McCormicks cable park signing a deal. Odd site, almost as bad as the IWWF site...no thats just not a fair comparison. A animal porn site would probably have more useful waterski info then the IWWF site does. Plus on animal porn sites you could see some awsome...um...ok thats just gross. /vomits

USA Water Ski has announced the 4 boats approved for 2010 and apperantly this carries weight down under as well.

15,000 people are taking part in protecting the winter Olympics in Vancouver that starts in 10 days. What does this have to do with waterskiing? Not much really but the olympics rule, what other time can you catch Curling on TV? Or watch the Kazakstan womens hockey team...

Host of the British TV Show "The One Show", Christine Bleakley, is going to ski across the English Channel to raise money for some cause. I dont know what the cause is because I did not read the article. Who can be bothered to read when there are British girls with bad teeth to look at? What is this Russia? (russian girls probably nsfw)*
*note* when google image searching for "russian girls" while at work make sure your boss is not around.

A bio diesel and desalinazation plant (how the hell does that go together?) are working with the Moree Water Ski Club to let them use their storage lakes. Cool to see a big industrial plant working with a ski team. But lets go back to that first part...bio diesel...and desalinization...so you have...hmmm... **Note to self** do not drink the water in Moree Australia.
Oh and for todays sign of the apocolypse...
Jersey Shore will be back for another season. I fucking hate you MTV. DIE IN A FIRE!
And to not end on a depressing note. Bennetts has anounced that the LA Night Jam III will be June 5th. Now you have no excuses for not being there, they have given you plenty of time to request off work or get fired.

Feb 1, 2010

USAWS ignores the CRB

We recieved word thru one of our many spies that the USAWS board voted down changing the name to USA Water Ski and Wake Board.

Well that is a good thing because that name SUCKS!!! Really? Did you guys learn nothing from at all from us??? We told you back in Sept of 2008 that USA Waterski and Wakeboard was a name for SUCKERS!! USA Watersports is the only option here guys...think about it, you add Wakeboard in and now you have USA Waterski and Wakeboard...and that gets you...absolutly DICK! Now you just have given the kneeboarders, hydrofoilers and barefooters the idea that their names should be listed too. Now I know that "USA Waterski (Disabled, Collegiete and Traditional), Wakeboard, Showski, Kneeboard, Hydrofoil and Barefoot" just rolls... off... the....

Now what do Latin American Football team cheerleaders have to do with this subject? Nothing, but I got bored bitching about something that does not matter. One of our spies told me the other day when I was laughing about how this vote was a complete waste of time and ODBF said "Its funny how something so trivial as this causes this much tension when our sport has real issues". Mr. Spy laughed, called me neive and told me to get back in a bass boat.

I am in the wrong sport. Of course we do have the hottest participants of any sport but come one now! How can you go wrong with this?
Ok actually that seems a bit slutty...
/sells skis on ebay
//checks Orbitz
///books flight to whatever the hell team has those girls
What was the point of this post?

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...