Sep 26, 2007

Tom Asher's 194

More wow inducing jumping, this time from Tom Asher. 194...phew!

Ryan Dodd can FLY!!

Here are a couple videos sent to us of Ryan Dodd launching a couple 201's at some tournament in 2004 or so. Wow! Btw, check out his website,, for a lengthier version. Sweetness!

Jump 1

Jump 2

Sep 25, 2007

Back Where She Belongs

Wouldn't you know it? The CRB returns from our hiatus and order is restored to the world.

Freddy Kreuger gets his world-record jump approved (finally), college is back in full-swing with the appropriate stories from tournaments, and Dallas Friday returns to the top of the Wakeboard World in, ugh, Singapore.
"To come back here and win today was absolutely incredible, especially after the accident last year," said a visibly elated Friday following her win, which bagged her USD$8,000. "It's great to be back in Singapore, and it definitely means a lot to me to claim back the title this year."
Dallas knocked off fellow American Raimi Merrit and Canadian Marie Anne Ball to nab top honors at the Wakeboard World Cup in Singapore at the Bedok Reservoir. Whatever that is.

In related news, Phillip Soven, our favorite wakeboarder with his own signature Kids wakeboard, won on the less attractive side of the ledger. He, now sporting a much more grown up at 16 goatee, beat off Jeff Weatherall and Daniel Watkins for the top prize of $15,000 and all the free apple juice he could drink.

However, what gives with the prize money? Dallas won only $8G for winning while Phillip pocketed $15G. That doesn't seem fair now does it? Well, if she needs a place to crash if she can't make rent payments, the CRB headquarters does have amazing amenities, with beer flowing like wine and where the women flock instinctively like the salmon of Capistrano.

WakeBoard World Cup -

Sep 24, 2007

Great Plains Conference Championship

Once again, an intrepid CRB minion filed this dispatch following the Great Plains Conference Championship.


This previous weekend was one of dreams coming true and hearts being broken, yes ladies and gentlemen it was Conference weekend for MCWSA. There were a lot of new names hitting the leader board this weekend. It was probably one of the most exciting conference tournaments in quite some time. With first and second place men’s jump being separated by just one foot and there being a 70 point spread between the cutoff for regionals in the last round of men’s jump.

Saturday began with Men’s slalom and Women’s jump. As skiers woke up and fell down the hill probably into someone’s puke from the night before they made there way to the starting dock.

In Men’s slalom we see quite a few new names on the board. Chris Prem of Colorado took first with ½ @ 35’ off, second was Christian Schraosch of Kansas with 3.5 @ 32’ off, third was a tie between Matt Knafla of Iowa State and Mark Cassidy of University of Illinois with 3.0 at 32’ off and fifth was taken home by John Weber of UW-Milwaukee with 2.5 at 32’off.

In Women’s Jump we see some more familiar names Christe Madden of Illinois takes home the gold with a 102 leap, second place was taken by Iowa’s Leah Timmerman with a 99 foot jump, third was taken by Mel Cyra of Madison jumping 88 feet, fourth place was Cory Cassidy of Iowa with 86 feet and fourth was Marcy Holz of Marquette with a 75 foot jump.

Men’s trick was also on Saturday. Matt Knafla hits the leaderboard again with a score of 2000 to take first, followed by Mark Cassidy tricking 1980, Andy Madden of Illnois State tricked 1750 to take third, Christian Scharosch tricked 1580 to take fourth, and fifth was taken by Cole Kalkbrenner of Missouri state with a score of 1480.

Women’s trick closed off the day with Christe Madden taking yet one more gold medal with a score of 1770, Cory Cassidy tricked 1560 to take second, Julie Jahnke of Marqutte took third with 1330, Beth Krutchen of Madison took fourth with 740 and fifth was taken by another Madison skier Mel Cyra with a score of 620.

As soon as B team trick ended you could quickly hear a wave of beer cans being popped and kegs being taped as teams prepared for the “yard sale” party. One great way to make girls wear very little clothing, however, has a great downfall in the fact that guys tend to take this too far. There were a few too many bare asses walking around, which is just not cool.

The next morning began with women’s slalom and men’s jump. Two big placement factors for many teams. In women’s slalom Cory Cassidy takes home the gold with .25 @ 32’ off, Cheryl Scharosch of Kansas takes second with 3 @ 22’ off, Tristan Strageland of Missouri takes 3rd with 2 @ 22’ off, the Donen sisters from Madison take fourth and fifth with 5 buoys @ 15’ off and 34 mph.

Men’s jump is where it got really interesting. First place was taken by Ryan Backlund of UW-Milwaukee who jumped 129. We know “Who?” “From Milwaukee?” That’s what everyone else was saying. Second was a helmet throwing one foot away with a jump of 128 by Andy Madden, third was Mark Cassidy with a jump of 120, fourth was Cole Kalkbrenner with a jump of 118, and fifth was another Missouri State skier Matt Didion with a jump of 115.

Now here is what everyone wants to know, first did that front flip kid land? Yes he did, there was also a gainer thrown in there and quite a few hellies. We really need to get this collegiate show skiing thing going. But honestly what everyone wants to know is who’s going on, at the end of men’s jump Colorado, Milwaukee and Stout were battling it out for 10th and with Backlund’s 129 foot jump it looked like Milwaukee had it. But as we know collegiate scoring is confusing as all hell and that didn’t happen.

10) Colorado
9) UW-Stout
8) Illinois State
7) Iowa State
6) Kansas State
5) UW-Lacrosse
4) Marquette
3) Illinois
2) Missouri State
1) UW-Madison

Missouri state looks strong with four guys in the century club, they aren’t doing too bad. Watch out for them this year. Last years Cinderella team is being held up by there women’s team and the guys are going to have to step it up next weekend if they want to make it to Nationals again. Another interesting team is UW-Lacrosse will they go this year or will Octoberfest hold them back like the last two years. A new team to regionals is Colorado. They will have to pack up and travel 20 hours for the third weekend in a row. No wonder why they are doing so well, that team has some drive (no pun intended!)

Yet again this goes to show the growth in collegiate skiing. With a new team hitting top ten and freshman all over the leader board this sport is only going to get bigger. With jump scores like this from two freshman, the question is how long can Cale’s jump record stay? Once again UW-Madison put together a great tournament on a beautiful site. Thanks to Madison and Waters Edge for a great tourney!

Scoreboard - NCWSA.Com

Sep 19, 2007

An Elephant on Skis

Really nothing funny to add, as the video itself is funny. It's from a long time ago and we think anything from along time ago is good. Retro even, like your Big Johnson T-Shirts and neon green Body Glove wetsuit and Zubas...dork.

Sep 18, 2007


Oh, how the CRB tentacles reach wide and deep, the following is a first hand account of the Iowa Skeetfest tournament. Amazing what the CRB Minions™ can do!!!

Never be afraid to let the CRB know the haps on the craps peeps...we are always interested in whats up, just fire up the contact Chevette on the right.

So the second week of Collegiate skiing has begun. Some very impressive results and some unexpected ones. The Iowa Skifest which hosted all of the great plains team began as what many may have thought was a spring tournament. After returning to there tents from doing what collegiate skiers do best, the skiers were treated with finding there to be ice on there tents from temperatures dropping to 30 maybe even less. After waking up and “introducing yourself to the person next to you.” Everyone was happy to see that no one had died of pneumonia the following morning.

The cold weather however did not effect the skiing. Per
“Cory Cassidy of Illinois took the win with 5 @ 28’ off , and coming in 2nd and 3rd was Madison’s sister duo of Heather and Adrienne Donen with 5 @ 22’ and 3 @ 22’ off repectively. In men’s slalom, rookies took 1,2,3. Colorado’s Chris Prem took another win with 4 @ 35’ off, coming in 2nd was Iowa State freshman Matt Knafla with 1.5 @ 35’ off , and in 3rd was UW-Lacrosse’s Chad Rietz with 4.25 @ 28’ off. Saturday finished with women’s jump, just barely fitting it all in before the sunset. In 1st was host Iowa’s Leah Timmerman with a jump of 96 ft. 2nd went to Madison’s Mel Cyra with a leap of 79 ft, and 3rd went to Julie Jahnke of Marquette with a 73 footer.”

“Men’s and women’s trick started bright and early Sunday morning. For the men it was again all rookie competitors Andy Madden of Illinois State (little brother of U of Illinois All Star Christie Madden) and Matt Knafla of Iowa State battling it out for 1st. Andy took the win with 1690, and Matt placed 2nd with 1520. Coming in 3rd was John Roberts from Northern Illinois with 1040. Cory Cassidy took another win in the women’s trick division with a score of 1100, and again Madison took the 2nd and 3rd spots with Beth Kruchten placing 2nd with 820, and Mel Cyra taking 3rd with 700. Men’s jump finished up Sunday’s events. Andy Madden took another win with a huge leap of 132ft. Close on his heels and coming in 2nd was Missouri State’s Cole Kalkbrenner with 125, and in 3rd with 114 was Christian Scharosch of Kansas.”

It was all wrapped up with a 100’ front flip attempt by UW-Milwaukee’s Craig Planton.

Collegiate show skiing? When will it start?

Now what about the teams, of course we see the common powerhouse Madison taking first, they were followed by Missouri State and UW-Lacrosse. UW-Lacrosse coming through big took first in Women’s trick with the highest girl tricker getting 250. Where is MU, I mean come on with all that funding why aren’t they up there? Don’t worry there girls team still kills taking second overall, even with some of there best trickers have not so much there best day. They are still a force to be reckoned with. Wait till next weekend when they bring out the big guns from the men’s team. With the numbers only planning to grow next weekend it is hard to tell what we will be seeing at Nationals from the Midwest this year.

The Iowa tournament also shows the great increase in collegiate skiing. With there being 19 teams and 200 skiers B team had to be canceled. Collegiate skiing is on the up and up. Team Midwest as always is leading the way. Hats off to Iowa for a great tournament!

skifest -

Sep 17, 2007

Minor Complaint

Your Slalom Champ is? A fucking math equation.

Serious, this is very minor, but we here at the worldwide head compound area known as CRB have a small complaint....or maybe its more of a curiosity thing.

See, there were some fun college tournaments this weekend and we were all sorts of planning on writting fun recaps with witty banter and the general non-sense that we are good at/not good at.

However, in looking through the various scores we wondered why that kid hooked up with that girl in the tent back by the Tahoe. Seriously honey, you are better then that.

haha...get it, scores? pow!!

No, but, while maybe a hard-core three event junkie or at least someone not 7 PBR's deep at lunch could make better sense of the score sheets. Please do correct us if we are wrong, but, it does seem as if they are some sort of hyrogliphic hodegepodge of non-sense.

For example, here is the mens slalom scores from the Hawkeye Skeetfest.

1 PREM, CHRISTOPHE COL MOUND, MN 4.00 581200 100.00 M 800.0
2 KNAFLA, MATTHEW IWS AERO. ENG., MN 1.50 581200 97.50 M 790.0
3 RIETZ, CHAD LAX , WI 4.25 581425 88.25 X 780.0
4 SCHAROSCH, CHRISTIAN KAN 4.00 581425 88.00 X 770.0
5T ROBERTS, JOHN NIL MECH ENGINEER IL 2.00 581600 80.00 X 755.0

well shit! That formating worked like crap....hmm...lets try a print screen thing...

Spy Glass Bitches

Click on the picture, it should get big.

The point is we think its unnecessarily difficult to comprehend. Lets decipher real quick.


PLC = Place
Competitor Name = well...duh
DV/TM = Division / Team ?
Age = yeah..we get this one
Hometown = yep, this too.

Its this last part we don't get, this is the last part from some dude named Chris Prem
4.00 581200 100 M 800

What the FUCK?

Could it not just say, 4 buoys @ 34 MPG at 28 off? or whatever that all equaled up to?

Then have a total at the end?

Ideas anyone? It seems a little to difficult for a sport that isn't that fucking hard. Yes, the actual skiing part is a bitch, yes, but, you go faster and shorter line length and go around more buoys you win. Thats not hard to figure out...

Skeetfest - NCWSA

Sep 14, 2007

Don't Bother Working Today

Nope, don't pretend. Look, we know that most of us really just jack around all day anyways, but, today is different.

The US Open, currently underway in Orlando, is being webcasted to the whole freaking world!

So, just curl up by the warm glow of your laptop, mix up a cocktail and press, umm, play?

This years event will have the finals at night, and you know what, just read whats on the website.
"MasterCraft is pleased to present the 20th Annual US Open of Waterskiing. The 2007 Open will incorporate a tournament rich in history with a new qualifying format and night tournament for the finals. The event will be presented live to people around the planet via webcast, as we give away over $100,000 in prize money. Please join us, no matter where you are, as we shed some light on Water Skiing, by doing it in the dark!"
Whoa!! Doing it in the dark! Sexy!

Webcast -

To Much Money for the Marquette Ski Team?

There is an interesting article in the Marquette Tribune, the Marquette University student newspaper, you know the Marquette Golden Eagles err...WARRIORS!

The crux of the article stated, basically, that the money students pay in to the University in fees should be more evenly distributed to student organizations because to much money goes to the teams/club sports/whatever that have their shit together and apply to the Student Organization Allocation for the dough. Hmmz....
"Every semester, $27 of our tuition goes to the student activity fee budget for Marquette Student Government that covers events and needs of students and organizations on campus. Should every student be responsible for paying a portion of these expenses? After seeing the beginning of this year's allocations, we think not."
Oh? And why is that sir?
"Last Thursday, MUSG's first senate meeting for the 2007-'08 academic year conducted the distribution of the budget by the Student Organization Allocation committee for very specific organizations that every student will not take part in. The SOA committee allocated $22,196 among 13 organizations and three club sports teams. The most money ($4,750) was given to the Financial Management Association to participate in the Wall Street Experience. The Coalition of Language Honor Societies was given $3,951 for an on-campus foreign film festival and $3,130 was given to the Waterski & Wakeboard Club to participate in the National Collegiate Waterski Association Nationals."
Ok, so what? These groups had their shit together, went through the proper hoops and got some dough. Whats the biggie?

Will every student take part in every activity available to them?

Every college everywhere pays a shit-ton of money for drama students to prance around on stage and a metric shit-ton of money for varsity sports that can't support their own travel and uniform expenses beyond the money not taken in for scholarships.

Further along it states that:
"Not every student participates in these fun and available activities. It is nice to know that they are available, but if students are not taking advantage of the activities, their $27 for this semester is being given to other students or organizations they are not involved in."
Well, no shit dude. The man takes all sorts of money from the CRB coffers in the form of taxes to pay for roads and shit we won't ever drive on, or money given to environmentalist types who clean shit that I will never use or to a million other things that, sure its nice they are there, but we won't ever use.

Quit complaining about it!!
Calvin does not appreciate your bullshit

Look, we get it, you want more equity for all involved and thats noble. However, every student organization has the same process to ask the man for the dough. Some just do a better damn job, thats America dude. If the pansies in the tether ball club quit jerking each other off and having mock drafts for their old-time warrior princess league and put pen to paper, maybe some excel shit, they would get some money too!

C'mon, don't hurt the one you love! Let those in position to prosper do so, this isn't communnist Russia buddy! Live free or Die Hard!!!

It's our money, MUSG! -

Sep 13, 2007

Just missed it!

Ok, back on track and what the hell is with ski racing? seriously. Anyone out there? Its the most insane version of aqua-planing around.

There was a post along time ago when we questioned what the deal was with this...well...nothing has changed. Peep the video below for some ski race competition in someplace called "not America", guess it was last may. Not sure how we missed that, but, logistically would have been tough to uproot the CRB Empire to New Zealand.

That just doesn't seem like it would be alot of fun, maybe we are missing something, know...We doubt it.

Sep 12, 2007

THIS is crap!!!

Hope College's mascot

We're back and slightly miffed.

You see, we aren't sure what has happened since we were gone...besides the end of summer, a bad case of gonorrhea, and sunken catamaran (don't ask)

So...the powers that be at the NCWSA put up their first ncwsAP poll of the year, somehow ranking the collegiate waterski teams. This is all well and good, but, we guess that it was either a clerical error on the part of the secretarial team or they just rank from second place on down, because....where in the HELL is the Hope College Destruction Squad?

Take a gander at the post:
"ULM Warhawks stay on top of the Poll after week 1 of competition. Missouri State moves up 3 spots, not much movement in the top 10 but a lot of shake up at the end. The west and east get underway this weekend which will help solidify the polls.

1 Louisiana - Monroe
2 Louisiana - Lafayette
3 Florida Southern
4 Arizona State
5 Alabama
6 Purdue
7 Sacramento State
8 Wisconsin-Madison
9 Texas
10 ILLinois
11 Michigan
12 UC - San Diego
13 Marquette
14 San Diego State
15 Missouri ST
17 Cal Poly
18 Texas A and M
19 Auburn
20 UC Davis
21 Kansas
22 Michigan State
23 Arkansas
24 Central Florida
25 Cincy

Others Receiving Votes:
ILL ST, Western Washington, K State, Miami, Texas State, Clemson"
Well, someone better get to the bottom of this with the quickness.

Needless to say, Johnny Cash is pissed!!

My name isn't Sue damnit!

The "Poll" - NCWSA

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...