Aug 18, 2020

CRB Updates / WTF

No, thats two for me bar keep.  make em strong. 


So, what the hell is going on with the CRB you may be asking yourself as you drift off to sleep.  Live your life, as we are not ones to tell you what to think or do, but....wondering about the CRB is real low on the things we thought you would think you thought.  

never the less.  what sort of waterski poltergeist would we be if we didn't infect your brain and send a tree in through you window to try and kill you. 

What? 

Thats a movie huh?  Ok, sweet, well lets figure this shit out somehow then.

This is a post to help explain what is going on with CRB and where we are now, where we are going and if being silly in our current world still has a place at the table.  We aren't for sure at the moment and for sure we don't know at the end, but, lets see if we can't figure it out a bit along the way. 

What say you?  

Do you want answers...do you?   DO YOU????  BITCH.  ANSWER ME!!!!!

Your right...that was to aggressive...lets try to lay out the framework a bit, shall we?  ok...GO.

We have had alot of meetings, we have had alot of break out groups and we have had alot of items to be examined prior to E.O.D, and we have had about 40 some odd meetings in our outrageous meeting rooms that are always stocked full of sliced meats and cheez its and shiner bock trying to figure this all out...and...  

By the way, this may explain why this is a bit of an issue. Not the main reason for our lack of posting, but, its a real one.  Our meeting room food stuffs are legendary. :)  

Also have you ever had just one shiner bock?  For real, if you dont know about Shiner Bock, get your ass to a watering hole and get one, two, three, four....oh you met a girl...five, six....ok, god bless, your having sex...

ok, we will put this on the agenda for tomorrow. 


/beats you to death with a bowling pin to drink your shiner bock

Yeah, its that good.  #ad #paid #sponcon 

We went through hundreds of different things and why things things have changed, what we can do to get back to what we used to be, what we should become, what the hell that smell was.  

Many ideas were brought up and bandied around, some taken serious, some wrapped up and smoked, some discarded immediately, but...

But, ultimately, the word we kept coming back to was fun.  

Is this fun, is what we are doing fun...is this sport fun?  are we making it fun?  Are we helping it BE fun?

...

Of course, for those in the know, the CRB empire is so incredibly lucrative that we don't need to update or post or go on epic red-ass rants, but, its fun...and that is where things began to go a bit sideways. 

Things stopped becoming "fun". 

On the right side of the page, you see the years and the numbers of posts per year and it was 2015/2016 that we dropped right off.  The desire to post was always there, and the number of drafts in the blogger folder show aborted starts and stops.  

An awful lot of, "hey, this may be funny!" and its a 4 paragraph story of a sunken canoe that tied into the loss of freedom that the kwahalie tribe dealt with in the outback. 

Those posts has the right intention behind them, but, we think that 1/2 way through we understood that, those aren't the things that made the CRB fun, CRB was known for being a silly mirror in which we could view our sport.but, we also dealt with..or noticed..that the world of media and content was starting to change.  

We can yell our silly takes into the wind, but, saying something like, "LOL LOOK ALEX LAURENTO GOT INTERVIEWED IN FRONT OF A PORTA-POTTY" and then photoshop a sad Keanu Reeves onto the roof is funny as hell, but, it felt like that world was drying up.  

For example.

Search the googles for a recipe for "instant pot jasmine rice" and you have 100's of god damn blogger sites going on for 2,000 words about their story of jasmine rice and their experiments and shit, when it should say. 

1-cup water
1-cup rice

put in instant pot and hit 20 minutes.  when the thing drops.  open and eat.  

There are hundreds of these sites!  Jasmine rice!  KatiesLife.com/jasminerice.   FUCK!  I just cant remember how many minutes!  I don't need a story of your child and her lack of skill on a pogo stick!

Meaning, its not just reliable* sources you use to get your info, or results, you have to find out from peoples instagram pages and twitter and god forbid facebook. 

We could have looked in our cook book and had our way to cook rice, but, the natural reaction is to google it, and now what?  Betty Crocker said this, but, some dip shit in mississippi said this and now I have fucked up rice and alimony payments. 


Your booty got me like

That all being said, real life factors in as well.  When the CRB started, many mutations ago, it was a way in which we could access a computer from campus back in our dorm.  Does anyone remember, 192.45.72.14 web sites?  

Back then, in mid 1990s, we want to say 1997?  When napster was a thing and lime wire and somehow the song "a horse with no name" was a neil young song and you would go to a computer lab to work on your projects for school.  From there you could log into your home computer and listen to all your downloaded music and access your files.  You felt like Mr. Robot!   

For some this may seem weird.  but, its true.  We will...in the next i think few years, have people going to college who have never know life without iPhones.  Without on the go music and porn and other important things like, school projects and spam emails and podcasts and Call of Duty.

Today, if we can't play the april 23 1977 Grateful Dead show from Springfield, MA RIGHT NOW, in our car, we are pissed off!  We wanna hear that version of Franklins Tower right now!!!

Word?

OH SHIIIIT


Seriously think about it!  

Today, in our 1987 SkiMasterBu, we can talk to our boat and have music play, without plugging in phones or weird music devices, or anything!  Its all bluetooth and shit.  Its super awesome.  

"Play dead and company at shoreline amphitheater"  then hop in the water and rip a shitty skurfer set. 

We consume, view and enjoy our world different then we did and thats hella good.  As we are writing this, we have an alexa playing a baseball game from the other coast, and in a bit when we are done with this we will talk to our television to open youtube and continue the video we were watching on wood working. 

You change, morph and adjust or you sit there crying about what it used to be like. 

I've never felt so frisky, HEYYYY MACARENA 

Good lord, why do you need so many words?

Simply this.  IDK #shitpost

But, what we are going to be aiming for is both ventures into video and ventures into audio.  Not, christ, not pretending we are anything other some silly nonsense, but, we would love to be able to do something that provides some fun content for waterskiers and athletes...shoot, waterski supporters and athletic supporters to vibe on. 

Not everyone is going to appreciate our specific blend of niche waterski jokes along with potty mouth.  its a venn diagram that, DOES, include your mom...but, not "our" mom.  

Anyways, the point of al this nonsense, its this.  

CRB is here and we will be posting and doing stupid shit, its just a matter of the way in which it arrives. 

Blog?  Yup.  That sillyness will be around, and hopefully less whisky fueled. 

Youtube?  lol, sure, why not.  Anyone wanna watch ODBF drop his phone in the lake trying to take a video of a hot ass pontoon boat running ashore?   I DO!

Podcast?  this is closer to reality then not.  There have been some in-roads into this world via horton and show skiing, but, nothing has really gotten us wet so to speak  so maybe thats something to work on.  Actual conversation and fun about our sport with production value?    

/vapors  
 
/oh child please

of more import. 

Newsletter.  We are very much considering adopting a blog / newsletter style moving forward.  A Blog doing our normal nonsense with a newsletter heading to your email inbox once a week with a bit more in-depth sillyness. 

Maybe what we do is charge a few bucks a month of the in - depth, for the interviews, for the things that are fun.  for the things that make you better.......

The monetized and free.  Think of it this way.  

Your normal waterski is this

Can I take your order sir?

Your weekly newsletter is this


Nah bitch you can get with the times, and eat this shotty**

Who knows.  

But, while our momentum has tailed off we hope as we ramp back up in the coming weeks and months, to hopefully ride that wave out of our current pandemic world into the world of fun and nonsense, take this how you want. 



When the real world is no longer is fun, its really hard to have fun on a silly waterski blog.  Our sport is built on fun and when the people in charge of the world they create is no longer fun vs. the world that we remember and where we can sit in the back of the room and shoot spit balls at those on charge, no damage intended but a bit of frivolity, thats where we want to get to.   Thats where the fun is!

You know, we don't mean the people in charge of our sport right?  You get the underlying current our what we are saying...right???  You get that the "people in charge of our world" means what it means right?

Anyways.

We will get back to that world soon.  And we will be there to make fun of it.  






*your mom
**Drive angry.  borderline best movie ever made

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...