Dec 31, 2008

Another one down

After a interesting year for our economy, a poor year for my skiing, losing a few of the CRBs boys and a exit for the Rowboat Abides...and Youtube blocking the Ken White video (what the hell by the way), its just about time for a change. And low and behold its December 31st...WOOT.

Happy New Year all of you out there in the CRB Kingdom!

Now go get your drink on...I suggest $2 bottles of Champaign, your morning will be the best.

Anyone else think they should actually let that ball drop and hit the ground? That would be sweet.

Dec 22, 2008

A Legend Moves on to Promote Waterskiing in Heaven

If God wasn't aware of Waterskiing, or specifically, collegiate 3-event skiing, well, he sure is now. Scott Coley, the man basically and largely responsible for the incredible growth of Wisconsin Collegiate Waterskiing has decided to run the course a bit farther north.

Its easy to list of the accomplishments within the waterski world that Scott was responsible for, but, that's for the lame. At the core, Scott bled waterskiing, he lived it and breathed it and pushed it to places that other parts of the country would be insanly jealous of.

A few of us within the CRB HQ have been lucky enough to meet him and work with him in various aspects of things.

His personal life? Dunno. His professional life? Dunno.

But, if either of those two aspects of life were attacked with any of the same verve and passion that...matter of fact, if those two aspects were attacked with even half of the verve and passion he went after promoting Waterskiing within the state of Wisconsin, well, thats better then alot of us can hope for.

Scott died, and there is never a "good" time to die, but, the holiday season has to be the worst. But, in an ironic sense, he promoted collegiate skiing so hard within the state that its only right that the collegiate skiers within the state are now on winter break and can attend his visitation.

Folks....our world lost one of the best ambasadors to our sport that there is. He thought outside the lines, pushed hard for growth and worked everyday to spread the love of waterskiing.

If you are in Hustisford, WI on the 23rd, stop by St. Michaels Church and pay your respects.

Official Obit

Wisconsin Waterski Federation

Dec 17, 2008

Get your old on!

If you guys handed noticed before, I really dig Free Style jumping, and I really dig videos...So needless to say, here is an awsome vid of old school free style jumping. Of course they have embed disabled, because they know that the ODBF is out and about, but seriously check out this one, it is well worth the viewing.

I truly belive that bringing free style back can help bring peeps back to the shore. Wake boarding has not accomplished it. But if you look back a few years, back when there were crowds in the thousands on shore lines, you will see two things that are not around now...Free style jumping and Beer! The showskiers have shown that having a beer tent and some crazy action on the water at all times can bring in big crowds. They can draw as much as 5,000 or even more while our 3 event tournaments seem to be excited to get 200 on a shore. I had to bring my own beer to the Michigan pro tour stop! I'm not harping on Tadd here, that was probably a lake rule or something like that, but I think you bring back the party atmosphere, you will bring back the numbers.

Dec 16, 2008

Like I would pass this up.

Sasha Fierce...What bitch!

400 posts. Holy Smokes.


There were some changes on this site, 1o min ago. But, the CRB is has now reached 400 posts. I made a big deal out of it when it got to 100. and we blew by 200 and 300 without a mention.

But, hey...for a maybe twice weekly blog about the silly of watwerski, that ain't bad.

Total side note, had a very interesting conversation today with someone who is a bigger wig in the world of waterski and this person was predicting very bad things for our sport, like, total failure.

This could have been just chat, but, decent business people within this world know what is what, and if decent business people say something is amiss, well, they probably know.

Its a scary thought. We are lucky to be able to do what we do, but, given my current situation, its much easier to pick up a basketball then it is to fire up a slalom ski (even though i wouldnt because slalom is for the lame).

Our sport is insane. The boat companies are putting setting................

whatever....enjoy the holidays. JANUARY 11th!!! 24 LIVE BLOG! HOLLA!

ps. captioned a know, just for old times sake

Site News: Changes a plenty!

The ODBF said, "hey, rowboat, i am drinking."

I said, "wow, thats amazing...did the sun come up today?

ODBF said, "sure, why not...jerk."

I said, "Whats with the attitude, its like 3:30 PM.."

ODBF said, "really? that would mean...oh no.."

I said, "lemme guess, you got fired again from Taco Bell"

ODBF said, "I still 'techincally' work there?"

I said, "air quotes don't work over the I.M and you are also a 50 year old drunk"

ODBF said, "um, you are WAAAYYY off"

Anyways, here is the low-down...from here on out the ODBF is the official and for reals (not like the fake from before) head of this blog. The minion is out and I have been relegated to a new duty within the company.

new duty being, live blog man!!!

Also, Rowboat opinoins get posted over there on the right hand side of the screen. YAY!! more rowboat crap you don't care about!!!!! SOLID!

So. Whats that mean for you? Well, you may get once a week posts!! From there, I will be live-blogging various fun events, we tried it once with the season "premier" of 24. We will be doing it again on January 11th when 24 goes weekly for real. (see what I did there?)

Anyways...ODBF is leading the charge and has another person in the wings to help out, funny nicknake coming....but, be that as it may, keep the 11th in your calander.

Dec 15, 2008

Christmas beer?

The Crb crew has been doing a bit of decorating around the office* and has had a tough time keeping the world up to date on all the important happings of the waterski world during this holiday season.

No more decorating....please....

*shed behind the homeless shelter

Dec 3, 2008

A lake that was, will be again.

One of the most dramatic events that took place during the midwest flooding this past summer was the draining of Lake Delton. One of the biggest tourist drawing lakes in Wisconsin saw the dramatic failure of a thin strip of land between the lake and the Wisconsin River. The draining of the lake caused one of the few pro show ski teams in the US, Tommy Bartletts, to have to cancel their season, leaving quite a few people out of work and putting the entire future of Tommy Bartletts in jepordy.

But after all of that it looks like the lake will be refilled and ready for use by next spring. Which will be good news for Aqua the clown and all those skiers that dont mind getting a paycheck for what the rest of us pay to do. Well shit, I guess they actually have the right idea.


Dec 2, 2008

Chat a hoochee

Mitchell reminded us that southern boys ski in cowboy hats and prefer to drive in rivers and go noodling and all that weird shit as shown by Alan Jackson in the Chattahoochie video. And actually he is not a bad skier, swerving a bit on a old woodie (Horton and the Wooden ski group should like that) and throwing a front on a trick ski.

I would have put the video on here, but embedding is disabled on the link, so instead I have put a video of some redneck barefooting in white trash clothes.

Dec 1, 2008

Rowboat Off-Topic - Movies You Can't Turn Off

The post below this one, about the USA Waterski poll was initially posted in hopes of sparking some opinions from the peeps, no go I guess, rumor has it the ODBF is furiously pounding away on the lappy with an opinion type piece.

Anyways, after the long Thanksgiving weekend I am sitting here eating turkey burritos and watching a movie. It got me thinking, there are a few movies out there that regardless of when they come on I watch the whole damn thing. One of them is, if you have read this blog for any length of time, is Shawshank Redemption.

So, I felt like posting a list of some movies that, without fail, if they are on when I flip through the channels I watch.

1) Shawshank Redemption.

This has over-taken Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas as my favorite movie of all time. Its amazing and everytime I watch it I swear that something new pops on screen I didn't see before or maybe as you get older it affects you in different ways. Regardless, that's what I am watching now.

One that I noticed, was at the beginning when Andy first is working in the laundry Red says something about "This place may eventually get to him" but it doesn't. Then, the night prior to Andy escaping you see Red worrying in his cell about Andy. Had to be thinking that the place finally got to him. Then sure as shit, all Andy's talk is the truth and Red sort of has a realization. Hence...this scene.

2) The Big Lebowski

SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNY! There isn't any real redeeming or social or message in this movie other then gratuitous swearing and non-sense, I think that's why I like it so much. Plus the relationships between The Dude, Walter and Donny is just awesome.

Plus, I enjoy bowling sometimes and I think at some level all of us would love to have the "pssh, whatevs" attitude the dude has and I think we all know people like Walter. Oh, and meeting Bunny Lebowski with her offer, well, I may find a ATM as well.

3) Gladiator

Lets make one thing clear, there is some awful acting in this movie. I used the line in our Live-Blog that I have seen better acting from girls faking....err, not that I would know anything about know I have heard.

Anyways, people fighting with swords and plots for revenge, well, that's two things that are pretty damn cool. I suppose there is a redemption aspect to this movie, but, more then anything, it looks cool and sword fights are cool and that weasel emporer guy, grr, he deserves to die anyways.

Plus, his, "My name is Maximus Desimus Meridius..." line is just t.i.t, tight.

4) Bad Santa

Doesn't matter what time of year it is, but, Billy Bob is awesome and I love how he just loses his shit at that kid and...well...all the time actually. For some reason the other day I spent like a 1/2 hour just you tubing Bad Santa scenes for a laugh.

Add to that the fact that A. that little kid is hysterical B. Lauren Graham is a babe and C. GOD DAMNIT...ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?

5) Super Troopers, Fight Club, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

These three movies to me are like listening to Led Zeppelin. I have seen each of them so many times that I can recite it verbatim at the drop of a hat, but, I rarely grab the DVD and play them when I am bored. I don't get it. Like Zep, I have all of their stuff, all the DVD's, everything, and I love it. But, yet, I never seem to find myself listening to them.

However, when I am out and about or in the car or at a bar or whatever and someone plays some Zep, damn right I sign along...well, not sing really, but, sort of, you know, play drums on the table or whatever.

Anyways, its the same with these movies, they are like that. I rarely watch em, but, damn if when I see it on I stop and watch.

So, now Red is walking down the beach and Andy is sanding away on his little boat.


Nov 28, 2008

Make Your Voice Heard/Seen

Vote on the poll for the person who had the biggest impact in '08. The nominees are:

Caroline Hensley
Regina Jaquess
Freddy Krueger
Alex Lauretano
Chris Parrish
Storm Selsor
Jimmy Siemers
Zack Worden
April Coble-Eller

Vote HERE (new window)

Nov 26, 2008

CRB Give Thanks

The CRB wishes everyone a happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy football and gluttony and the normal dysfunctional family non-sense that we all go though.

The CRB gives thanks to many things, the people who actually happen to check out the site, to the miracle that is waterski, the astonishingly hot Danielle Lloyd, the ODBF keeping me on the payroll despite my constant pleas to be gone, our peeps rykert and mitch and cris and anonomous, and anonomous and the other anonomous, and thankful for fun new changes in life that bring people to weird places and finally thankful for the Minion to finally quit calling and asking for bail money.

But, mainly we give thanks for all the things that we have to be thankful for.

We hope everyone has a great weekend. Danielle, Nola, Maria, Officer Buck, Dallas, Danyelle, and all of our other assorted CRB characters will be stopping by the CRB HQ this weekend to delve into what is left of the cooler, probably stepping up this weekend to have even FINER smoked meats and maybe even a bottle of Wild Turkey to go with the turkey.

OH!! Jumping Turkey, I see you have a ski rope made of Wild Turkey...Well Played friend, well played. C'mon on in, have a seat...

Scoot over Danielle....

Remembering the past

Tribute to Ken White.

I know this has been on here before, but I love the vid and it got me to thinking about waterskiings past and subsequently its future. In the 70s-90s waterskiing was light years ahead of where it is now, what was it that put skiing in that situation and what has brought us down from that pedistal we were on?

This video is a tribute to the life of one of waterskiings greats, Ken White was not only great becuase he could kick your ass all over the lake and do a two ski linestep with 60 inch trick skis faster then most of us can do a back, but because his heart was all waterskiing. Not like the whiners and bitchers that populate the ski flies or some of the other boards* out there.
*hortons board is good

But from what I can see there is really no productive forum of any sort that really pushes the sport forwards, nothing out there really bringing new blood into the traditional 3 event world. Collegiete is doing well with college kids, some do stick around, but many just take advanatge of the parties and 4 years of easy access and then go on their way, maybe skiing on a buddys boat once in awhile but never adding much more then a weekend wally does to the sport. Show skiing does perhaps the best job of any of the diciplines in going out and going after young skiers and even non skiers. Learn to ski clinics and summer camp/summer school type clinics, bring in skiers or at least introduce the sport to many more people then our private lakes do.

Why cant we grow above the petty "City Slicker 2" bullshit that is spewed at each other and maybe attempt to do something good or useful for our sport? I see so many posts from people saying stuff like that, but how is that benefiting our sport?

It looks like a show-ski team in Madison, WI, The Mad-City Ski Team, have been putting on an event called "The Clean Lakes Festival", well shit, that makes sense!

Skiers use the lake Check
Clubs want new members Check
Chance to clean up the lakes Check
Good press for club Check
Good press for sport Check
Not being a CSII Douche Bag Check

Or we could continue to focus on a lost cause.

Olympic Update: Seven sports fighting for inclusion in the 2016 Summer Olympics
presented their cases to the International Olympic Committee last Friday. The
leaders of baseball, roller sports, softball, golf, karate, squash and rugby
(seven-a-side) met the commission ahead of next year's vote. Water skiing did
not make the cut to make a presentation. The IOC has set a limit of 28 sports in
2016, meaning the sports were vying for the last two available slots. 

final decision will be made at the Olympic Congress in October 2009 in
Copenhagen. Incidentally, last September the International Water Ski
Federation’s Executive Board announced that it would move forward with a plan to
conduct a water ski exhibition at the Olympic Congress in Copenhagen. Stay

Straight off the editors note pad

Seems sensable to me... but then again I am an anonymous poster, so I got nothing...

Nov 24, 2008

Insomniac Movie Theatre: Into Monday Love

Following the first ever real live-blog the ODBF asked me to sum up our experience and give people something to think about for Monday.

Now, initially, the obvious question is this....Why me? You gave me the job of just doing random off-topic bits here and there and thats it. If you filter through my stuff I haven't done anything that does anything regarding waterskiing since my retirement. I talk about basketball or whatever.

Anyways, its obviously because, if you were a part of the live-blog, because the ODBF can't afford to have the ebay piped into the pad and therefor relies on the Rowboat to do heavy lifting. Which I am happy to do.


1) The live blog was fun. Granted there wasn't much outside participation, but, we enjoyed it. Basically it was a long I.M chat convo on a website, but, Mitchell showed up to say hello and, well, what the hell right? Looks as though the ODBF wants to do a bunch more, so hopefully people drop by and say hello.

2) Weekend of college Foot-Ball. Texas Tech was bent over a barrel, and despite what anyone says, Texas should be the second ranked team and Florida should be third. Hope College? Fifth.

Fifth? Yeah, thats the Hope College Waterski Team, give them some helmets and shoulder pads and I will take that over a Sam Bradford Tim Tebow Colt McCoy love child anyday of the week.

3) This new season of 24 is going to be epic

4) Chris Berman gets alot of shiz from the intertube crowd, but, its not 1/2 bad sometimes. Yeah, I said it.

5) I aint got no conversations with nobody. - LenDale White.

6) Does anyone else cook dinner, then like, three hours later you are hanging out or whatever and then come back inside and still sort of smell what you cooked and think, "damn, that smells good. I need some leftovers" even if you aren't hungry and you just eat the hell out of what you have left? No? yeah, neither.

7) Fun video of Freddy dropping the puck.

8) Anyone else hear, purchase, etc, the new Guns and Roses album? I heard some of it online, streamed somewhere, and basically....whatever.

9) The VW commercials with the old school Bug make me want to buy a old school bug, not a damn Routon. Serious. Maybe a GTI....thats about it. those are cool and fast. but, a Caravan in VW clothes? no thanks. A Jetta? I'll pass. A passsssat? No thanks.

10) How fun would it be to run a pass route and have someone like Kurt Warner or Aaron Rodgers or someone throw you a pass? I would saw off your left leg for that.

Anyways, have a great monday.

Nov 21, 2008

Bill Nye the barefoot guy

No idea who these kids are or who got in with Bill Nye to get this on TV, but props to them. Advertisers know that the way to a persons check book is thru their kids, well then keep up with ideas like this. Get on the saturday morning TV shows and show off our sport.

When I was on a college ski team we knew that you had to grab the incoming freshmen in the first week before they joined other clubs, we all have a limited amount of time and money. Get the young kids involved in our sport, if it takes morning shows like this or cartoons or learn to ski days with the local youth organizations, its all worth it. Our sport saw some very good growth in the college ranks but we still see USAWS bleeding members. Bring in the youngins.

Remember: Live-Blog

Remember peeps, Live-Blog on Sunday the 23rd at 7:00 PM...ugh...Central, for those of you in regular time zones.  

Jack Bauer: Son, part of getting a second chance is taking responsibility for what you did wrong in the first place.

Whoa...thats deep.

Nov 20, 2008


It looks like Cypress Gardens, the first professional ski show and the home of many waterskiing firsts, is adding a water park in an attempt to pull the park out of the trend of heavy losses they have been seeing for the past few years.

But it seems that some of the older crowd are unhappy with the addition of roller coasters and a water park.
Well if their idea of a water park includes gators that would make me unhappy too!
As Cypress Gardens waterski show is the longest running live entertainment act in the country today, so here is to hoping they can turn around the losses and keep the show going.

look over there! Flowers!

Nov 19, 2008

Creationism of waterskiing.

"In the Spirit of Charles Darwin, the Origin of Species, PJ McMillan is on a voyage to find the next level of Water Skiing."
Not really sure what that means, but the vid looks good!

check it out here

Nov 18, 2008


The ODBF put me on a quest to do some photoshop magic, i.e, to continue a point from a previous post about Freddy breaking a world record and like no one there to see it, so the idea was to photoshop a freddy jump into a football stadium full of people.

whatever, anyways, in searching around for pictures i happened upon this site.

A site not unlike this (notice the double negative, thats college for ya) and its a pretty standard run-down of hot girls in sporting events at the Olympics.

However, one caught our eye. Can you find it?

I understand the Sacramone and the Misty May thing, but, waterskiing isn't even an olympic sport...and Nymph?
In Greek mythology, a nymph is any member of a large class of mythological entities in human female form. They were typically associated with a particular location or landform. Others were part of the retinue of a god, such as Dionysus, Hermes, or Pan, or a goddess, generally Artemis.[1] Nymphs were the frequent target of satyrs.

Nymphs live in mountains and groves, by springs and rivers, and in valleys and cool grottoes. They are frequently associated with the superior divinities: the huntress Artemis; the prophetic Apollo; the reveller and god of wine, Dionysus; and rustic gods such as Pan and Hermes.
She is pretty good, but, I have a hard time believing that she lives in a mountain by springs and rivers.

Note: First CRB Live-Blog Coming Soon

There isn't much in the waterski world to get really excited about either via your tv or on your commodore 64, but, this coming Sunday, 11/23, the CRB crew, the Rowboat and the ODBF (minion? in jail) will be live-blogging the season premier of 24.

It relates to waterski because, well, we like it. Besides, its Sunday night and for the vast majority of you all, you aren't skiing and what better way to spend an evening with your fake online friends?

Waterski website, Jack Bauer kicking ass, Guns, and Danielle Lloyd, what more could you want?

Join us!

Danielle Lloyd? Why would you mention that, she has nothing to do with....


but, danielle, my boss may...


/snaps random pedestrians neck

here you go.


photo credit

(ed note. its strongly recomended you click on the danielle pic, 1. because her eyes look into your soul and 2. look at the dude over her left shoulder, very pleased that she is there)

Nov 12, 2008

Hambone raps about winter

This is stolen from the "Next" topic on skifly, but I liked it so now its here. Ham is a man after my own heart, loves skiing, beer and hates the cold.

Here We Go Again, It's That Time of Year
Ode To Winter

I hate winter with it’s wind and it’s cold,
Getting dark so early, really gets old,
The lakes are deserted, No boats out there,
If you did go skiing you’d have ice in your hair.

I hate winter, I’ve hated it for years,
I hate winter, more than last year,
I hate that there are no leaves on the trees,
I hate that there are no little bikinees,

I miss all the sun, I miss all the fun,
I miss the skiing whether lost or won.
I miss the starting dock and all the trash talking.
I miss the late cuts, no fair balking.

I hate winter, I’ve hated it for years,
I miss my post-skiing friends and cold beers,
I hate winter for almost all reasons,
Except when the Titans are having a good season.

The shortest day of the year is always in December,
It helps me think of Spring, It helps me remember.
It is downhill from there, the days, they get long.
I think of warm weather and skiing, I can’t be too wrong

I can’t wait to run bouys,
I can’t wait to make turns,
I’m glad not to be at Wizard
Hangin’ out with Vern.

I hate winter, I guess, I always will.
Maybe one day, I will get my fill,
But, until then I’ll hate winter , No it’s not a fake,
I’ll hate winter til’ I get back to the lake!

Ham Wallace

Nov 7, 2008

Up All Night!!

Coming up this weekend on the other side of the world (+13 hours for EST) so about as other side as you will get, will be some hot action on the water.
Very good mental images

I mean the hell its spelled, its in Malaysia. Appearently the have coconuts there.
yummmmm coconut milk...
yea whatever
But the big news is it is being webcast!
Schedule: (local time in Malaysia)
Day 1 Preliminary Rounds
1045 World Cup Intro
1100 Slalom Men and Women
1330 Tricks Men and Women
1600 Jump Men and Women
1245 World Cup Intro
1300 Slalom Men and Women
1430 Tricks Men and Women
1530 Jump Men and Women
1715 Prize Ceremony
Sweet I am in! Oh wait, +13 hours for east coast means um, shit thats real early in the morning. BAR TIME WATER SKIING. I got a ticket the last time i did that.

Nov 6, 2008

Nice Whirlybird....To Face

Seriously, I am like the guy who retires from a job but yet keeps kinda hanging around because otherwise you go nuts with boredom. Besides the boredom part that's me.

Its like breaking up with someone, you couldn't stand them when you were together, but, now you have no one to make you wash dishes, take out the dog, shower on a daily basis and stop you from drinking during the day.

What I am trying to say is, this video rules. Must have had a premonition we would change our tag-line and decided to epic fail for us.

Here is a stack of old cd's and a half eaten banana.

God I hate bananas.

CRB Virtual Coach: DO IT AGAIN!

Nov 5, 2008

That Looks Fun

One would think a person like Freddy K would have a strict work-out regimen, be studious in his preparation for jumping, and single-minded in his focus to be the sickest jumper out there.

Its not any normal person that puts up stats like this:
Career Highlights:

1. 9 Time World Record Holder
2. Current Men’s Jump Record Holder (243’)
3. Current Night Jump Record Holder (226”)
4. Current Men’s World Jump Champion
5. Elite Ranking #1 for 5 consecutive years
6. 52 professional wins
7. 7 Time US Master’s Champion
8. 5 Time US Open Men’s Jump Champion
9. 7 Time USA Water Ski Athlete of the Year
10. 2006 IWSF Male Water Skier of the Year
11. 4 Time US Team Member (3 Golds)


1. Current World Jump Record (243’)
2. Current Night Jump Record (226’)
3. Former Night Jump Record (224’)
4. Former World Jump Record (240’)
5. Former World Jump Record (238’)
6. Former World Jump Record (236’)
7. Former World Jump Record (233’)
8. Former World Jump Record (226’)
9. Former Ski Fly Record Holder (286’)

Right. So, something like that would make you thing, what a dork, he proably sits at home on friday night and sharpens his fins and spends hours in a wind-tunnel making sure he maintains the proper co-efficient of lift while airborne.


HAHA, sucker! Nope, his life is cooler then ours.

On his website, he has a nifty photo album page, "A Peek Behind the Curtain" and has some fun pictures from Halloween.

You win the CRB award for the day, come to our offices to collect your prizes. One series of tubes, a diet pepsi and a nice deli-tray of smoked meats. Congrats!!!

Something is Different

Hey! We got a new President!! Anyone else hear about that?!?!

The current editor of this site, the ODBF, asked me to wax some opinions here in this space about the election. Why? I am not sure, but, I would venture a guess that its because I am much better with grammar and the English language.

However, after spending an hour or so bashing away on the keyboard I decided that the CRB is not the place for that sort of talk.

However, here are a few thoughts for you guys to chew on.

1) I am amazed at the ground swell of support for both candidates.

2) Obama's meteoric rise is simply astonishing. I remember seeing his win in 2004 in Illinois on TV. He has the IT factor. Opinions aside, he looks like a president.

3) McCain was most likely a sacrifical lamb for the republican party, expect a reorganization of the party and a Palin ticket in 2012 and that will be fun to watch.

4) I expect the next campaign to start in about a year for the 2012 election.

5) Thank god this whole thing is over.

We started this site, in its current incarnation, after the last major election. So, this is our first CRB Politics situation, and as a waterski site, its not our place to go off about anything. We hope everyone voted. If you voted for Obama, well, you won. If you voted for McCain, well, you lost.

Thats about it.

Its over...but we leave you with this.

From a superficial perspective, this is an historic type day in this countries history, from a non-superficial perspective, its not. I think this represents something more social then political, but, goodness, its certainly something that galvanized the majority of this country huh?

I still can't reach the fifth ball on my 28 off set though. Now, That would be a change I could believe in!!!!

Nov 3, 2008

Fitz brings the funny

So in this time of tension and mistrust, Acorn and voter fraud, McCain and Obama, Beer and Pretzles... you get the idea...

Um....What? CRB and politics...F that noise! on with the nonsense!

Fittzy has taught his dog how to kneeboard, now dont give me any PETA bullshit about the dog being mistreated, I mean look at the thing, its having a blast. Of course it is kneeboarding, so if Big Gay Als Big Gay Animal Sanctuary wants to contact the pooch then thats about right...

World record #2

Not only has Freddy broken his own world record again, but Clemintine Luciene has broken the world trick record.

Pass one. I would break a leg, and not in the good way...*
*what exactly does someone mean when they tell someone to "break a leg", how is that a good thing?

Pass two. Not the best camara work, but damn she is good. Quite the recovery on that last flip.

Thanks Joey for pointing out that I forgot the score. Clem put it out there at 8840. Which is about what I score*.

*in a summer.

Nov 2, 2008

Holy Crap

According to the USA Waterski site pimp deluxe Freddy Krueger fricking LAUNCHED this past weekend, launch as in the tune of 247.
U.S. water ski athlete Freddy Krueger set a pending men's world jumping record on Sunday at the McCormick Fall Open at McCormick Lakes in Seffner, Fla. Krueger, 33, jumped 247 feet (75.2 meters) on his third and final attempt of the tournament.
This would best his current world record of 243. Guess he really likes skiing at McCormicks, as that is where his World Record was set as well as the pending 247.

247. Wow. Thats 82 Yards. By way of comparison, I once was able to hit a golf ball that far.

Oct 30, 2008

I think thats an oxymoron

The Eastern Region of the NCWSA has taken quite a bit of guff the past few years for shrinking in size, poor paperwork skills and other less fun issues. But this year they have shown some growth, Elon has come into the picture led by a few instructors from Cobles ski school. Not a bad base for a young team. And they do have the best mascot in all of college sports. I mean what is better then an angry looking hasidic jew as a mascot for a christian university... well that could be a drunk irishmen getting ready to box?


ok ok my bad..


Hey theres a beverage here...

Oct 28, 2008

And now a joke...

Our fearless leader down in the land of year round skiing (Florida) has posted his new blog and has even graced us with a joke...

“You feeling like Halloween already? Got your costume picked out? I got mine. I'm going to wear my pants with the pockets out and just go as a bank. You know what most people are going to be this Halloween? Broke! However, the financial news is looking good enough that bankers are starting to be rude to customers again. So things are getting back to normal.”

HAHAHA oh that leno kills me*, the funniest man alive...

*would watch lettermen if my TV got more then 1 channel**

**ODBF is a cheap bastard***

***spent all my money on USAWS membership and boat gas

On that note of spending all of my money on an organization that is out to promote our great sport, Steve Lockes most recent blog also contains the most recent financial report for USAWS. I have been trying to figure out what exactly I gain when I send my hard earned bucks down to head quarters. I tried to use the insurance once and even though I followed every one of their requierments it was still denied, in fact I have never heard an example of someones claim being approved, but besides useless insurance, what else do we get for our dollas?

Well check this out, I guess I now have an answer, our $ are spent on a magazine that is losing $ like its going out of style, towboat testing, That does make money, but is pretty much useless as no one cares about what is approved or not approved, (steve I suggest continuing this one, as it brings in almost half of what the mag is losing. And as Slalom ski mag pretty much prays at the feet of all that is slalom and ignores the fact that there are other waterskiers out there, USAWS should keep making the magazine as well.

We also support about 14 different national teams...

oh shit, I forgot I have to go watch the 13 -15 but no 14 year old junior waterski team compete in the US vs Kuwait and Mongolia games, guess I cant finish....

Oct 23, 2008

ULM On The Front Page

As noted on NCWSA the ULM Warhawk Ski Team made the front page of their collegiate website.

Here is the link to the actual website. As well as a link to the very nice article written about them. Congrats again from the CRB.

For posterity, the screen cap is on the right (Click on it to make it dance)

Oct 21, 2008

A look into the past

So now that the ski season is wrapping up, I am starting to feel nostalgic and looking back on another season of skiing coming near an end. Now if I lived in a warm local like some luckier skiers do, then I might not be looking at folding it up and winterizing the boat. But as I live on the north pole my ski season is grinding to a complete stop as the snow flakes are gearing up to fly.

So I could bust out the snow skies or the snow board and wax them up, or I could hit up the internet and not do my job... YEA thats what Ill do, bossman loves to pay me to not do my job. So here goes, some cold weather skiing.

These people are all stupid, thats all I can say. I love to ski as much as the next guy, but Ill stick to the snow when its 10 below.

Um, are we under black lights?

Oct 18, 2008

ULM Wins Title, Cinci Wins D2

CAW!!!! CAW!!!!

ULM, again, and again, for the third year in a row won the NCWSA Nationals title. ULL placed second, by about 400 points, to secure the runner up status. ULM won the Slalom and Trick portion with ULL winning the jump portion.

Obviously, the football death match to determine the overall waterski domination was ignored.

Congrats to all, have a beer, why not?

In D2 action the Cincinnati Bearcats (Obviously a vicious creature theme) skied better then Michigan by just under 100 points, to nab the D2 crown.

Cinci was actually behind after both the Slalom and Trick part of the tournament but, made up the difference in the jump portion (well, duh) to win.

That picture actually is a bear cat, whatever it is, the assumption is that they make a sound like, RAAWRRRMEOW!!!


Plus, be sure to check out all the pictures and videos, as Cris noted in the comments of the previous post, Mike and Jeff worked their tails off to get the news, images and video's to those of us sitting on the couch drinking tea and eating flu medicine like an addict.

PS. Check out this article from the East Valley Tribune about the ASU ski team. Pictures are priceless.

PPS. Usa Waterski has an article up as well. Lot more info other then the sounds that bear cats make, however, judging by time the time stamps we totally beat them to it! HAHA!!

Trouble Keeping Her in the Frame

Nationals is almost complete, just the Mens Jump remaining, and surprise surprise, its ULL and ULM leading the way.

NO WAY!!!!


Anyways, whomever is in charge of the NCWSA site, you sir/ma'am, get a hat tip from the CRB, there are updates and videos galore!!

NCWSA Youtube Channel

Its amazing, must be grueling work to hang out and video people all day and watch skiing. Evidence by the enthusiastic announcing on this video.

"havin trouble keeping her in the frame, sorry jeff"

Ha Ha. Well played!!

The hard work does pay off, however, in capturing Danyelle Bennett s unique slalom style, here she is attempting the rare and extremely difficult back flip rounding the one ball. Officer Buck gives that effort Four Thumbs Up!!

Oct 17, 2008

Nationals = Woot

Looks like the final round of Mens slalom had to be postponed until this morning. So they seem to be running a little behind schedual. Perhaps the ASU cheerleading squad distracted the judges.
But NCWSA is keeping those of us that wasted our travel money and vacation days on trips to Omaha Nebraska (and other such boring locations) up to date. They have also been posting Videos on youtube and pics on the Midwest AWSA site.

Of course right now the NCWSA site is not working for me, but perhaps my version of the internet is being uncoperative. Or I just dont know what im doing...

That would be quite the shocker!

Gotta love those ASU girls!

Oct 16, 2008

One down 5 to go

As the first round of the NCWSA nationals has wrapped up and Womens slalom has come to an end, FSC has showed that they have one of the best womens teams to be seen in quite awhile.

And your winner is....


1. Clementine Lucine (FSC) 2 @ 38
2. Keri Mcclure (FSC) 1.5 @ 38
3. Kate Adriaensen (ULM) 1 @ 38 off
4. Marion Metheiu (FSC) 4 @ 35 off
4. Karen Stevens (ULM) 4 @ 35 off

FSC has 3 girls in the top 4? Not a bad showing at all.

Our crack crew of reasearchers* have scouted out ever team and every skier and put toghther this prediction of the results.**
*the odbf and a couple 40s of OE
**stolen from Fantasy Waterski's simulated tournament

D 1 prediction

1 Univ of Louisiana Monroe
2 Univ of LA Lafayette
3 Florida Southern College
4 University of Alabama
5 Arizona State University
6 Purdue University
7 Univ of Wisc Madison
8 Iowa State University
9 University of Texas
10 Clemson University
11 Cal State Univ Chico
12 Cal Poly San Luis Obispo

D 2 Prediciton

1 University of Michigan
2 University of Cincinnati
3 Missouri State Univ
4 Texas State Univ
5 Rollins College
6 Texas A&M University
7 San Diego State Univ
8 Univ of NC Chapel Hill
9 UC Davis
10 UC San Diego

Well Im out of OE so thats good enough for me. If the results are different then that then I quit.

And here is the exclusive video from the tournament.***

***From the 2004 nationals as we spent our entire travel budget on those little animal crackers with frosting on them, so we could not make it this year. They are just so damn good.

Oct 15, 2008

Collegiate Nationals Preview

In an about face to the CRB standards we are doing a preview of the upcoming Collegiate Nationals. Our standards, of course, being a recap of events about two weeks after they are done.

So, here goes. Oh, and hey, Minion and ODBF, why are you making the retired person do all the dang work? Because I don't get paid? I don't complain? Because I leave the blinker on in the car? What gives?

The teams competing, from USA Waterski.
The 12 teams competing for the Division 1 title are: Louisiana-Monroe, Louisiana-Lafayette, Florida Southern, Arizona State, Purdue, Wisconsin, Alabama, Texas, Iowa State, Clemson, Chico State and Cal Poly. Louisiana-Monroe is the two-time defending Division 1 national champion. The 10 teams competing for the Division 2 title are: Michigan, Cincinnati, Texas State, Texas A&M, Rollins, San Diego State, North Carolina, UC Davis, UC San Diego and Missouri State. Texas State is the defending Division 2 champion.
There ya go!! Drink up boys and girls!

and because it was Mitchell who inspired this post, GO TEXAS!!!

Hook 'Em!

p.s. The top picture was changed from some girls drinking beer to crb hall of famer Danielle Lloyd. However, she has been on our no mas list since becoming a gigantic media whore and what not. normally, thats ok, but, in this were ours..OURS!!! Don't do it Danielle, stay true to your roots!!

Outside the Box Thinking on Engines

We brought you a while back the story, or whatever its called, on Neil Young and his innovative and odd pursuit of making a old ass Lincoln into the model for what can be accomplished with a little forward thinking about how engines, fuel and the like are used to power a car...remember?

Well, it has continued to push forward and they have entered the car, which still isn't quite operational, into the X-prize competition that awards teams for the best car that can get over 100 mpg.

This is pretty astonishing, not just the 100 mpg, but, the freaking size of this car and the technology that goes into it.

Now, this sort of thing is obviously not something that can be adapted to mass production, or semi-mass production...whatever its called for boat companies.

But, delving deeper into what they are doing and trying to do should hopefully shed a bit of light, and with a bit of imagination, provide you all with a glimpse of what is to come. Hopefully.

Despite gas coming back down below three bucks a gallon its still awful to fill up a boat, or a car, or a truck or a scooter.

Oct 10, 2008

Your Weekend Discussion Post - Snack Food

Rowboat is posting twice in one day, the uploadable trout was extra uploadable. The Rowboat CRB contract states that the Rowboat must post once a week (the friday post), plus, the Rowboat must continue to spread the CRB off-topic goodness.

Unless something major happens over the weekend, the CRB is a pretty slow webberbloggy during the prime drinking days. But, to maybe give y'all something to maybe talk about/comment about or maybe just to give you a few ideas as to what to munch on we are offering a top five list of the best munchable foods.

First, here are a few rules to this list.

1) This isn't a list of things that really require any more then MAX 5 min to prepare. If you wanna munch, dang it, you wanna get your grub on and not screw around.

2) These foods require a minimum of dirty dishes, again, its a pain in the butt to get hungry and then have a huge mess to clean up.

3) Um, that's about it. Quick and easy. Like your moms!!!

ok, here we go.

CRB top 5 munchable foods for your drinking/hangover.

1) Cheez-Its.

Like you would expect anything else from us. But, these have it all. Cheez and the ever difficult to define "it". Cheesy squares of cracker. You don't need to mess around and put anything on em, you just pop open the box, put your hand in and eat. Pssh, nothing to it!

Besides, they come in a variety of different cheesy goodness flavors, like, white cheese (racist snack!!) and spicy cheese (CALIENTE!!) and others.

2) Chips and Salsa

Normally, you would say nachos. but, really, if you are to do nachos the right way, like, the real right way, you need some chicken or beef or some sort of meat type product, some cheese, some guac, maybe some sour cream, etc etc, to really make a good plate of nachos. PLUS! that crappy shredded cheese you get at the store doesn't melt the right way, you have to get either that queso stuff or whatever that kind of cheese that doesn't get all hard and nasty after a min and a 1/2.

Personally, we go for a plate of Tostitos minis, chopped up chicken bits, melted cheese, chopped jalapenos, chopped green pepper, guac, sour cream, cilantro and it may be cheating a bit, but, drop of bit of the store bought salsa on there. The best thing about nachos is you can put anything on there, serious, try nachos with random leftovers, like, tuna caserole nachos? Tasty, some pasta thing you ruined? NACHOS! its all good.

NOW! The chips themselves are pretty important, those big ass triangles are OUT! They are bad, they don't fit into the top of the jar of salsa, so, we recommend going with either Frito Scoops (which are rad) or the, we think, the tostitos minis, there is also mission tortilla strips that may or may not be available by you.

For the salsa? There are a zillion options, if you have a decent grocery store by you, try their stuff that you get at the deli counter, where the CRB is located, there is a grocery store that has some AWESOME house salsa that has the perfect amount of cilantro and spice to kick your ass just soft enough to make us think of our ex-girlfriend, you know, bring a happy tear to your eye? If these options don't work, try either Pace Hot or Tostita Queso.

3) Beef-A-Roni

Chef boyardee is really probably satan in a pair of white pants and a backless tube top, but, who smokes and offers your drugs and is dating a football player or something. Tempting as hell, you wanna do it, but, in the back of your mind you know that its really bad for you and eventually you need to grow up.

Think about it, and we all do it, guy or girl (not all girls, some are smart), but, we walk down the aisle at the store and see the tasty goodness that is Beef-A-Roni, or ravioli or whatever else devilish concoction the devil has whipped up, stuffed with salt and preservatives and jammed in a can, just waiting for you to say, "ahh, screw it, i need me some of that."

Well, yeah, like that "last" drink or "one smoke won't hurt" and so on, it tempts you.

Thats why its so good!!! You know its wrong but you want it anyways!! GIVE IN TO THE GOODNESS!!

4) Hot Pockets

These are sort of like your booty call. You don't talk to them on a regular basis, you don't really care that much about them, and if they were to go off with someone else you wouldn't be that heart broken. However, when you want yourself some tasty goodness, well...they are there for you.

At the gas station? Sitting there waiting for you.
At the corner market? Looking good!!
In your freezer at home? You have taken the relationship to far!!

Its so easy, open the package, heat it up, eat! My god, it is a booty call!!

5) Grilled Cheese Sandwich w/ Tomato Soup

This one is close to not making the cut as it does require a bit more prep then the others, however, if you do it right, it takes at minimum one bowl, at most, a bowl, a pot and a pan. Or, for some of you, a bowl, some pot with a bowl, and a pan.

See, what is really nice about this one is that, well, its really freaking good and soup is always a good thing after drinking. Either that same night or in the morning/afternoon.

The CRB staff does it this way, throw the Tomato soup into a microwave safe bowl and throw in the microwave, toast two pieces of break, then when the soup is done, put cheese in bread (preferably two slices of cheese and some Tabasco and spicy mustard) then toss that in the microwave for 20 seconds. Viola!!

Total time start to finish? 2 1/2 min. Thats what she said!!

Honorable Mention:

Tacos/burritos: These are the best, but, in this situation to much damn work and taco bell is terrible.

Salads: Any decent salad has to have chicken on it as well as tomatos, green peppers, cheese and a bunch of other stuff that makes salads good. They are good, no question, and good for you, but, in this situation, just to damn tough to make.

Burgers: Nothing better ever then a good burger, but, again, they fall out of the list because it takes to long. Same goes to steaks, chicken, turkey and your sister.

Delivery Food: Again the time situation, even the fastest places ever can't beat five min. Cheesy Bread? Burritos? Chinese? sorry, it ain't happenin.

Hall of Fame:

Sandwiches: These go without saying. Turkey sammy? Chicken sammy? PBJ? They are all good, you grew up on them, you eat them now and they are like your connection to home. Always good, won't leave but will expect you to get married soon!!

What you got????

The Kinda Weekly Football Rundown Part Three.

Rowboat is back to dispense college football knowledge, the Rowboat tied up to a dock and plugged the 28.8 modem into a trout and uploaded.

Three weeks in a row!! This is like a CRB record of some sort, we actually started something and followed through for more then a day at a time!


Well, with the national tournament of the collegiate waterski peeps about a week away, as if the splash page at NCWSA hadn't already clued you into that.

Yep, there you go boys and girls and in an amazing display of coincidence, the host school, Arizona State University have leap-frogged into the top eight knocking out Iowa State.

Awww, poor Cyclones...but, you can probably drown your sorrows with some of the ASU girls, should you be into that sort of thing.

Don't get to crazy, as ASU did ax their cheerleading squad a while ago for being somehow toooo sexy...which...just does not seem to compute.

Isn't that what ASU is sort of known for? Bringing the sexy? Are we wrong?

Well, ASU did deny it...but, whatever...that was SOOOO last year. This is now! Lets do this damn thing!

Here is the list for the last two weeks, as noted, ASU scantily danced their way into the top eight while prancing and pillow fighting Iowa State out the door.

See what I did there?

Week 5

1 Univ of Louisiana Monroe ULM 67815
2 Univ of LA Lafayette ULL 66545
3 Florida Southern College FSC 64300
4 Arizona State University ASU 58870
5 Purdue University PUR 58820
6 Univ of Wisc Madiso6n MAD 57725
7 University of Alabama ALA 57145
8 University of Texas TEX 54880

Week 4

1 Univ of Louisiana Monroe 65695
2 Univ of LA Lafayette 64675
3 Florida Southern College 62680
4 Purdue University 57310
5 Univ of Wisc Madison 56260
6 University of Alabama 55525
7 Iowa State University 53190
8 University of Texas 52325

1) ULM

Well Well Well, last weeks blood feud for top spot in the history of waterski domination, obviously besides Hope College, was not real good for the ULM Warhawks, as they were defeated by their bitter, horrible and RAGE FILLED foes from ULL...The RAGIN CAJUNS!!

The Warhawks lost a tight, nip and tuck, defensive battle, 44-35.

Yeah, so, what that basically means is everyone knows that college football is by far the most important thing least if you listen to sports talk radio where the CRB is located. Which, ironically enough is in a state with no colleges.


2) ULL

Of special note for this game, the Cajuns running back, Tyrell Fenroy, rushed for a school record 297 yards. Yes..297 yards, and is on pace to become the Cajuns leading career rusher.

Whoops, I meant leading rusher in Sun Belt Conference history. Not only that he is only 250 yards from becoming only the 7th person in the history of the NCAA to have 4 seasons of over 1000 yards rushing.

Good lord, in looking at that game, he only had 20 rush attempts, but, for 297 yards. Almost 15 yards a rush. Note to ULM, you may want to consider a new style of defense, its something I jotted down on a dry-erase board, its not to crazy, but, this is basically how it works.
  1. 11 people put on helmets
  2. All 11 go on the field when the other teams offense is there
  3. when someone gets a ball and starts running, you run over to him and jump on him
  4. the end
Thats free of charge. Gimme a head set! Take a lap.

3) Florida Southern

Still with no football team. So, here is a photo of a guy jumping over cars on a scooter.

4) Arizona State University

The host school for the NCWSA Championship last week got smacked around a bit at California, 24 - 14, to drop their overall record to 2-3. They also have losses to UNLV and Georgia, and they have an upcoming game against USC. So, they will then have a record of 2-4.

Hey, look on the bright side!! At least your starting quarterback is probably going to miss the game with an owwie!!

5) The Purdue Fighting Neckbeards

Serious, it is some sort of weird mixed up world in our current financial crisis and what not as Kyle Orton, the neck beard himself, is playing football in a manner that can be described as "Competent", "Not-Crappy", "Good" and most, "Really Good"

The Purdue football team themselves, honorary alum aside, have only two wins albiet both against powerhouse teams like, Northen Colorado and Central Michigan, but, hey! We cant all be.....

Screw it.


6) UW-Madison

They lost to Ohio State. That makes two straight in-conference losses for a team that was supposed to maybe challange for a national title.

But, HEY!! All is not lost, at least the Marching Band is fun!!

Note, they were suspended for the first time, meaning they didn't play at a home game, for this first time in 40 years, for "inappropriate sexual behavior" Well, that's a shame.


7) Alabama

The number two team in the nation beat Kentucky by 3. 17-10. I am sure that the game was as exciting as this re-cap on a waterski website.
"We're certainly happy to win, but we also put on a clinic today on how to keep the other team in the game," said Alabama head coach Nick Saban. "There are a lot of lessons for us to learn today, and it's great to be able to learn those lessons and not have to lose."
YES!! Thats the kinda coach speak that makes me wanna run through a wall! ROLLL TIDDE!!

8) University of Texas

They haven't lost yet, last week defeating Colorado by about a jillion points and making these girls very happy.

When we contacted them for their thoughts on the game they said,



Comment like crazy!! We got another weekend post coming up soon!

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...