Oct 30, 2008

I think thats an oxymoron

The Eastern Region of the NCWSA has taken quite a bit of guff the past few years for shrinking in size, poor paperwork skills and other less fun issues. But this year they have shown some growth, Elon has come into the picture led by a few instructors from Cobles ski school. Not a bad base for a young team. And they do have the best mascot in all of college sports. I mean what is better then an angry looking hasidic jew as a mascot for a christian university... well that could be a drunk irishmen getting ready to box?


ok ok my bad..


Hey theres a beverage here...

Oct 28, 2008

And now a joke...

Our fearless leader down in the land of year round skiing (Florida) has posted his new blog and has even graced us with a joke...

“You feeling like Halloween already? Got your costume picked out? I got mine. I'm going to wear my pants with the pockets out and just go as a bank. You know what most people are going to be this Halloween? Broke! However, the financial news is looking good enough that bankers are starting to be rude to customers again. So things are getting back to normal.”

HAHAHA oh that leno kills me*, the funniest man alive...

*would watch lettermen if my TV got more then 1 channel**

**ODBF is a cheap bastard***

***spent all my money on USAWS membership and boat gas

On that note of spending all of my money on an organization that is out to promote our great sport, Steve Lockes most recent blog also contains the most recent financial report for USAWS. I have been trying to figure out what exactly I gain when I send my hard earned bucks down to head quarters. I tried to use the insurance once and even though I followed every one of their requierments it was still denied, in fact I have never heard an example of someones claim being approved, but besides useless insurance, what else do we get for our dollas?

Well check this out, I guess I now have an answer, our $ are spent on a magazine that is losing $ like its going out of style, towboat testing, That does make money, but is pretty much useless as no one cares about what is approved or not approved, (steve I suggest continuing this one, as it brings in almost half of what the mag is losing. And as Slalom ski mag pretty much prays at the feet of all that is slalom and ignores the fact that there are other waterskiers out there, USAWS should keep making the magazine as well.

We also support about 14 different national teams...

oh shit, I forgot I have to go watch the 13 -15 but no 14 year old junior waterski team compete in the US vs Kuwait and Mongolia games, guess I cant finish....

Oct 23, 2008

ULM On The Front Page

As noted on NCWSA the ULM Warhawk Ski Team made the front page of their collegiate website.

Here is the link to the actual website. As well as a link to the very nice article written about them. Congrats again from the CRB.

For posterity, the screen cap is on the right (Click on it to make it dance)

Oct 21, 2008

A look into the past

So now that the ski season is wrapping up, I am starting to feel nostalgic and looking back on another season of skiing coming near an end. Now if I lived in a warm local like some luckier skiers do, then I might not be looking at folding it up and winterizing the boat. But as I live on the north pole my ski season is grinding to a complete stop as the snow flakes are gearing up to fly.

So I could bust out the snow skies or the snow board and wax them up, or I could hit up the internet and not do my job... YEA thats what Ill do, bossman loves to pay me to not do my job. So here goes, some cold weather skiing.

These people are all stupid, thats all I can say. I love to ski as much as the next guy, but Ill stick to the snow when its 10 below.

Um, are we under black lights?

Oct 18, 2008

ULM Wins Title, Cinci Wins D2

CAW!!!! CAW!!!!

ULM, again, and again, for the third year in a row won the NCWSA Nationals title. ULL placed second, by about 400 points, to secure the runner up status. ULM won the Slalom and Trick portion with ULL winning the jump portion.

Obviously, the football death match to determine the overall waterski domination was ignored.

Congrats to all, have a beer, why not?

In D2 action the Cincinnati Bearcats (Obviously a vicious creature theme) skied better then Michigan by just under 100 points, to nab the D2 crown.

Cinci was actually behind after both the Slalom and Trick part of the tournament but, made up the difference in the jump portion (well, duh) to win.

That picture actually is a bear cat, whatever it is, the assumption is that they make a sound like, RAAWRRRMEOW!!!


Plus, be sure to check out all the pictures and videos, as Cris noted in the comments of the previous post, Mike and Jeff worked their tails off to get the news, images and video's to those of us sitting on the couch drinking tea and eating flu medicine like an addict.

PS. Check out this article from the East Valley Tribune about the ASU ski team. Pictures are priceless.

PPS. Usa Waterski has an article up as well. Lot more info other then the sounds that bear cats make, however, judging by time the time stamps we totally beat them to it! HAHA!!

Trouble Keeping Her in the Frame

Nationals is almost complete, just the Mens Jump remaining, and surprise surprise, its ULL and ULM leading the way.

NO WAY!!!!


Anyways, whomever is in charge of the NCWSA site, you sir/ma'am, get a hat tip from the CRB, there are updates and videos galore!!

NCWSA Youtube Channel

Its amazing, must be grueling work to hang out and video people all day and watch skiing. Evidence by the enthusiastic announcing on this video.

"havin trouble keeping her in the frame, sorry jeff"

Ha Ha. Well played!!

The hard work does pay off, however, in capturing Danyelle Bennett s unique slalom style, here she is attempting the rare and extremely difficult back flip rounding the one ball. Officer Buck gives that effort Four Thumbs Up!!

Oct 17, 2008

Nationals = Woot

Looks like the final round of Mens slalom had to be postponed until this morning. So they seem to be running a little behind schedual. Perhaps the ASU cheerleading squad distracted the judges.
But NCWSA is keeping those of us that wasted our travel money and vacation days on trips to Omaha Nebraska (and other such boring locations) up to date. They have also been posting Videos on youtube and pics on the Midwest AWSA site.

Of course right now the NCWSA site is not working for me, but perhaps my version of the internet is being uncoperative. Or I just dont know what im doing...

That would be quite the shocker!

Gotta love those ASU girls!

Oct 16, 2008

One down 5 to go

As the first round of the NCWSA nationals has wrapped up and Womens slalom has come to an end, FSC has showed that they have one of the best womens teams to be seen in quite awhile.

And your winner is....


1. Clementine Lucine (FSC) 2 @ 38
2. Keri Mcclure (FSC) 1.5 @ 38
3. Kate Adriaensen (ULM) 1 @ 38 off
4. Marion Metheiu (FSC) 4 @ 35 off
4. Karen Stevens (ULM) 4 @ 35 off

FSC has 3 girls in the top 4? Not a bad showing at all.

Our crack crew of reasearchers* have scouted out ever team and every skier and put toghther this prediction of the results.**
*the odbf and a couple 40s of OE
**stolen from Fantasy Waterski's simulated tournament

D 1 prediction

1 Univ of Louisiana Monroe
2 Univ of LA Lafayette
3 Florida Southern College
4 University of Alabama
5 Arizona State University
6 Purdue University
7 Univ of Wisc Madison
8 Iowa State University
9 University of Texas
10 Clemson University
11 Cal State Univ Chico
12 Cal Poly San Luis Obispo

D 2 Prediciton

1 University of Michigan
2 University of Cincinnati
3 Missouri State Univ
4 Texas State Univ
5 Rollins College
6 Texas A&M University
7 San Diego State Univ
8 Univ of NC Chapel Hill
9 UC Davis
10 UC San Diego

Well Im out of OE so thats good enough for me. If the results are different then that then I quit.

And here is the exclusive video from the tournament.***

***From the 2004 nationals as we spent our entire travel budget on those little animal crackers with frosting on them, so we could not make it this year. They are just so damn good.

Oct 15, 2008

Collegiate Nationals Preview

In an about face to the CRB standards we are doing a preview of the upcoming Collegiate Nationals. Our standards, of course, being a recap of events about two weeks after they are done.

So, here goes. Oh, and hey, Minion and ODBF, why are you making the retired person do all the dang work? Because I don't get paid? I don't complain? Because I leave the blinker on in the car? What gives?

The teams competing, from USA Waterski.
The 12 teams competing for the Division 1 title are: Louisiana-Monroe, Louisiana-Lafayette, Florida Southern, Arizona State, Purdue, Wisconsin, Alabama, Texas, Iowa State, Clemson, Chico State and Cal Poly. Louisiana-Monroe is the two-time defending Division 1 national champion. The 10 teams competing for the Division 2 title are: Michigan, Cincinnati, Texas State, Texas A&M, Rollins, San Diego State, North Carolina, UC Davis, UC San Diego and Missouri State. Texas State is the defending Division 2 champion.
There ya go!! Drink up boys and girls!

and because it was Mitchell who inspired this post, GO TEXAS!!!

Hook 'Em!

p.s. The top picture was changed from some girls drinking beer to crb hall of famer Danielle Lloyd. However, she has been on our no mas list since becoming a gigantic media whore and what not. normally, thats ok, but, in this case...you were ours..OURS!!! Don't do it Danielle, stay true to your roots!!

Outside the Box Thinking on Engines

We brought you a while back the story, or whatever its called, on Neil Young and his innovative and odd pursuit of making a old ass Lincoln into the model for what can be accomplished with a little forward thinking about how engines, fuel and the like are used to power a car...remember?

Well, it has continued to push forward and they have entered the car, which still isn't quite operational, into the X-prize competition that awards teams for the best car that can get over 100 mpg.

This is pretty astonishing, not just the 100 mpg, but, the freaking size of this car and the technology that goes into it.

Now, this sort of thing is obviously not something that can be adapted to mass production, or semi-mass production...whatever its called for boat companies.

But, delving deeper into what they are doing and trying to do should hopefully shed a bit of light, and with a bit of imagination, provide you all with a glimpse of what is to come. Hopefully.

Despite gas coming back down below three bucks a gallon its still awful to fill up a boat, or a car, or a truck or a scooter.

Oct 10, 2008

Your Weekend Discussion Post - Snack Food

Rowboat is posting twice in one day, the uploadable trout was extra uploadable. The Rowboat CRB contract states that the Rowboat must post once a week (the friday post), plus, the Rowboat must continue to spread the CRB off-topic goodness.

Unless something major happens over the weekend, the CRB is a pretty slow webberbloggy during the prime drinking days. But, to maybe give y'all something to maybe talk about/comment about or maybe just to give you a few ideas as to what to munch on we are offering a top five list of the best munchable foods.

First, here are a few rules to this list.

1) This isn't a list of things that really require any more then MAX 5 min to prepare. If you wanna munch, dang it, you wanna get your grub on and not screw around.

2) These foods require a minimum of dirty dishes, again, its a pain in the butt to get hungry and then have a huge mess to clean up.

3) Um, that's about it. Quick and easy. Like your moms!!!

ok, here we go.

CRB top 5 munchable foods for your drinking/hangover.

1) Cheez-Its.

Like you would expect anything else from us. But, these have it all. Cheez and the ever difficult to define "it". Cheesy squares of cracker. You don't need to mess around and put anything on em, you just pop open the box, put your hand in and eat. Pssh, nothing to it!

Besides, they come in a variety of different cheesy goodness flavors, like, white cheese (racist snack!!) and spicy cheese (CALIENTE!!) and others.

2) Chips and Salsa

Normally, you would say nachos. but, really, if you are to do nachos the right way, like, the real right way, you need some chicken or beef or some sort of meat type product, some cheese, some guac, maybe some sour cream, etc etc, to really make a good plate of nachos. PLUS! that crappy shredded cheese you get at the store doesn't melt the right way, you have to get either that queso stuff or whatever that kind of cheese that doesn't get all hard and nasty after a min and a 1/2.

Personally, we go for a plate of Tostitos minis, chopped up chicken bits, melted cheese, chopped jalapenos, chopped green pepper, guac, sour cream, cilantro and it may be cheating a bit, but, drop of bit of the store bought salsa on there. The best thing about nachos is you can put anything on there, serious, try nachos with random leftovers, like, tuna caserole nachos? Tasty, some pasta thing you ruined? NACHOS! its all good.

NOW! The chips themselves are pretty important, those big ass triangles are OUT! They are bad, they don't fit into the top of the jar of salsa, so, we recommend going with either Frito Scoops (which are rad) or the, we think, the tostitos minis, there is also mission tortilla strips that may or may not be available by you.

For the salsa? There are a zillion options, if you have a decent grocery store by you, try their stuff that you get at the deli counter, where the CRB is located, there is a grocery store that has some AWESOME house salsa that has the perfect amount of cilantro and spice to kick your ass just soft enough to make us think of our ex-girlfriend, you know, bring a happy tear to your eye? If these options don't work, try either Pace Hot or Tostita Queso.

3) Beef-A-Roni

Chef boyardee is really probably satan in a pair of white pants and a backless tube top, but, who smokes and offers your drugs and is dating a football player or something. Tempting as hell, you wanna do it, but, in the back of your mind you know that its really bad for you and eventually you need to grow up.

Think about it, and we all do it, guy or girl (not all girls, some are smart), but, we walk down the aisle at the store and see the tasty goodness that is Beef-A-Roni, or ravioli or whatever else devilish concoction the devil has whipped up, stuffed with salt and preservatives and jammed in a can, just waiting for you to say, "ahh, screw it, i need me some of that."

Well, yeah, like that "last" drink or "one smoke won't hurt" and so on, it tempts you.

Thats why its so good!!! You know its wrong but you want it anyways!! GIVE IN TO THE GOODNESS!!

4) Hot Pockets

These are sort of like your booty call. You don't talk to them on a regular basis, you don't really care that much about them, and if they were to go off with someone else you wouldn't be that heart broken. However, when you want yourself some tasty goodness, well...they are there for you.

At the gas station? Sitting there waiting for you.
At the corner market? Looking good!!
In your freezer at home? You have taken the relationship to far!!

Its so easy, open the package, heat it up, eat! My god, it is a booty call!!

5) Grilled Cheese Sandwich w/ Tomato Soup

This one is close to not making the cut as it does require a bit more prep then the others, however, if you do it right, it takes at minimum one bowl, at most, a bowl, a pot and a pan. Or, for some of you, a bowl, some pot with a bowl, and a pan.

See, what is really nice about this one is that, well, its really freaking good and soup is always a good thing after drinking. Either that same night or in the morning/afternoon.

The CRB staff does it this way, throw the Tomato soup into a microwave safe bowl and throw in the microwave, toast two pieces of break, then when the soup is done, put cheese in bread (preferably two slices of cheese and some Tabasco and spicy mustard) then toss that in the microwave for 20 seconds. Viola!!

Total time start to finish? 2 1/2 min. Thats what she said!!

Honorable Mention:

Tacos/burritos: These are the best, but, in this situation to much damn work and taco bell is terrible.

Salads: Any decent salad has to have chicken on it as well as tomatos, green peppers, cheese and a bunch of other stuff that makes salads good. They are good, no question, and good for you, but, in this situation, just to damn tough to make.

Burgers: Nothing better ever then a good burger, but, again, they fall out of the list because it takes to long. Same goes to steaks, chicken, turkey and your sister.

Delivery Food: Again the time situation, even the fastest places ever can't beat five min. Cheesy Bread? Burritos? Chinese? sorry, it ain't happenin.

Hall of Fame:

Sandwiches: These go without saying. Turkey sammy? Chicken sammy? PBJ? They are all good, you grew up on them, you eat them now and they are like your connection to home. Always good, won't leave but will expect you to get married soon!!

What you got????

The Kinda Weekly Football Rundown Part Three.

Rowboat is back to dispense college football knowledge, the Rowboat tied up to a dock and plugged the 28.8 modem into a trout and uploaded.

Three weeks in a row!! This is like a CRB record of some sort, we actually started something and followed through for more then a day at a time!


Well, with the national tournament of the collegiate waterski peeps about a week away, as if the splash page at NCWSA hadn't already clued you into that.

Yep, there you go boys and girls and in an amazing display of coincidence, the host school, Arizona State University have leap-frogged into the top eight knocking out Iowa State.

Awww, poor Cyclones...but, you can probably drown your sorrows with some of the ASU girls, should you be into that sort of thing.

Don't get to crazy, as ASU did ax their cheerleading squad a while ago for being somehow toooo sexy...which...just does not seem to compute.

Isn't that what ASU is sort of known for? Bringing the sexy? Are we wrong?

Well, ASU did deny it...but, whatever...that was SOOOO last year. This is now! Lets do this damn thing!

Here is the list for the last two weeks, as noted, ASU scantily danced their way into the top eight while prancing and pillow fighting Iowa State out the door.

See what I did there?

Week 5

1 Univ of Louisiana Monroe ULM 67815
2 Univ of LA Lafayette ULL 66545
3 Florida Southern College FSC 64300
4 Arizona State University ASU 58870
5 Purdue University PUR 58820
6 Univ of Wisc Madiso6n MAD 57725
7 University of Alabama ALA 57145
8 University of Texas TEX 54880

Week 4

1 Univ of Louisiana Monroe 65695
2 Univ of LA Lafayette 64675
3 Florida Southern College 62680
4 Purdue University 57310
5 Univ of Wisc Madison 56260
6 University of Alabama 55525
7 Iowa State University 53190
8 University of Texas 52325

1) ULM

Well Well Well, last weeks blood feud for top spot in the history of waterski domination, obviously besides Hope College, was not real good for the ULM Warhawks, as they were defeated by their bitter, horrible and RAGE FILLED foes from ULL...The RAGIN CAJUNS!!

The Warhawks lost a tight, nip and tuck, defensive battle, 44-35.

Yeah, so, what that basically means is everyone knows that college football is by far the most important thing ever...at least if you listen to sports talk radio where the CRB is located. Which, ironically enough is in a state with no colleges.


2) ULL

Of special note for this game, the Cajuns running back, Tyrell Fenroy, rushed for a school record 297 yards. Yes..297 yards, and is on pace to become the Cajuns leading career rusher.

Whoops, I meant leading rusher in Sun Belt Conference history. Not only that he is only 250 yards from becoming only the 7th person in the history of the NCAA to have 4 seasons of over 1000 yards rushing.

Good lord, in looking at that game, he only had 20 rush attempts, but, for 297 yards. Almost 15 yards a rush. Note to ULM, you may want to consider a new style of defense, its something I jotted down on a dry-erase board, its not to crazy, but, this is basically how it works.
  1. 11 people put on helmets
  2. All 11 go on the field when the other teams offense is there
  3. when someone gets a ball and starts running, you run over to him and jump on him
  4. the end
Thats free of charge. Gimme a head set! Take a lap.

3) Florida Southern

Still with no football team. So, here is a photo of a guy jumping over cars on a scooter.

4) Arizona State University

The host school for the NCWSA Championship last week got smacked around a bit at California, 24 - 14, to drop their overall record to 2-3. They also have losses to UNLV and Georgia, and they have an upcoming game against USC. So, they will then have a record of 2-4.

Hey, look on the bright side!! At least your starting quarterback is probably going to miss the game with an owwie!!

5) The Purdue Fighting Neckbeards

Serious, it is some sort of weird mixed up world in our current financial crisis and what not as Kyle Orton, the neck beard himself, is playing football in a manner that can be described as "Competent", "Not-Crappy", "Good" and most amazingly...um, "Really Good"

The Purdue football team themselves, honorary alum aside, have only two wins albiet both against powerhouse teams like, Northen Colorado and Central Michigan, but, hey! We cant all be.....

Screw it.


6) UW-Madison

They lost to Ohio State. That makes two straight in-conference losses for a team that was supposed to maybe challange for a national title.

But, HEY!! All is not lost, at least the Marching Band is fun!!

Note, they were suspended for the first time, meaning they didn't play at a home game, for this first time in 40 years, for "inappropriate sexual behavior" Well, that's a shame.


7) Alabama

The number two team in the nation beat Kentucky by 3. 17-10. I am sure that the game was as exciting as this re-cap on a waterski website.
"We're certainly happy to win, but we also put on a clinic today on how to keep the other team in the game," said Alabama head coach Nick Saban. "There are a lot of lessons for us to learn today, and it's great to be able to learn those lessons and not have to lose."
YES!! Thats the kinda coach speak that makes me wanna run through a wall! ROLLL TIDDE!!

8) University of Texas

They haven't lost yet, last week defeating Colorado by about a jillion points and making these girls very happy.

When we contacted them for their thoughts on the game they said,



Comment like crazy!! We got another weekend post coming up soon!

Oct 9, 2008

Fliping more then a cup at a college tournament

I see the ski flies is looking for a bit of fliping action. If you want a vid, you know where to go...

The CRB has all!

Oct 8, 2008

The Bucks Have Sunk to New Levels

The founder of this here site has set sail from our midst, a packed cooler and cowboy hat in tow. Occasionally, the Rowboat will affix a empty can tied to a rope and communicate back to the CRB HQ with various updates and thoughts. Today is one of those days.

The man you see to your right is non other then famed director Ron Howard.

He of such fantastic movies as
  • Cocoon (old people)
  • Backdraft (check that door for heat?)
  • Apollo 13 (Houston?)
  • Ranson (GIMME BACK MY SON!!)
  • A Beautiful Mind (On my signal, unleash calculus!)
Plus, he is prepping the new Da Vinci Code movie, Angels and Demons, which sounds way awesomer then the movie will actually be.

Not only that!! He also was Opie in the Andy Griffith Show!! So, if you grew up and are as old as we are, you know him from the TV show that seemed to always come right after Cubs games on WGN. Gosh, that was annoying.

Well, he is 58 years old now. Which, for normal people is really not that big of deal, 58 is the new 18, at least that was Roland Polanski says.

So, it came as a shock to us when we were getting ready to put together our NBA fantasy team and happened upon this.

Just click on the image and look about...you know what...if I knew anything about this damn computer I could do....THIS!!!

Damnit. That looks like hell too. Lets try...THIS!!!

Ok, thats a little better. See! There he is! Ron Howard! The famed director on the roster for the Milwaukee Bucks, right there between two people and Richard Jefferson and...WHAT??? Damon Jones????

Sup pimp? Our boy Damon has a annual salary of over 4 mil. Our boy Ron Howard makes, well, he made 10 mil for "A Beautiful Mind"

Good for both of you! Note, Ron Howard does not have a salary listed for this season with the Milaukee Bucks, which either means he is playing for free (unlikely) or his salary is so great they didn't put it on the site for fear of wrecking the internet.

Well, good for him, its a step up from this, back when he was pulling B & E's on the frickin gap.

Team USA - Winners

Don't wanna block the Minions return to the CRB fold, but, it behooves us to remind you to swing over to the Collegiate Team USA site and read up on what they did. Congrats again guys and gals.

You did the U.S proud, the CRB cooler is open for your enjoyment.

Oct 7, 2008

President who?

Hey guess what folks the minion is back. I was taken captive by rowboat abides when he left because he wanted to see the ODBF make the CRB go to shit. Well I chewed off my arm in that columbian prison. Once again running coke in skis...not good idea. We used those new millions dollar skis they have out cuz no one will buy them any way, didn't work, some rich dude bought one...opps. Any hooters, I recently received this email from a loyal CRB reader and devote waterskier.
Dear Minion,

Hope your arm is healing well. So I just got done watching the debate. I feel as if I should have been in that pannel asking questions.

I am the typical American. I am 22 years old and in those 22 years of my life I have ate enough red meat and drank enough alcohol to destroy the better part of my liver. I hate buying shit from China, but you gotta, I do however feel bad for kids in concetration camps. I have little to no money and owe more money tha
n I truely plan to have in the next several years.

But that doesn't stop me from spending it like I'm a millionaire, cuz I am a god damn American. I like gas, but hate foreign oil, yet I would drink it if that would be a way to consume more than my F-850 could. When people speak in a foreign language it pisses me off, I mean SPEAK AMERICAN! You know? Oh and on top of it all I devote most of my life to a sport which most likely less than 5% of the nation takes serious...waterskiing.

Anyway, I digress. I know nothing about politics, the economy or foriegn policy. But, being an American I know all about this when it comes time to vote! GO USA! I love my country and I will always stand true to it. Whether the stock market is down 500 pts or up 500 pts, we are getting our ass kicked in a war (like that would ever happen), no matter what I am an American and always will be.

I just hope people dont forget in this election we wouldn't be able to do stupid shit like kite tube (wait we can't do that any more) if it wasn't for the rights we have here in the US. No matter what the economy is we will be out there skiing, and enjoying life cuz we are Americans. So forget all the bullshit and just ski. I say vote Freddy for President and Scot Ellis for VP!

I just hope everyone keeps on loving the USA and remembering what it has given us! Back to my case of beer.

Well said brother.

Krueger and Ellis '08 bitches!

Oct 6, 2008

Take that all you other nations!

Team USA ripped it up and showed the world that while we cant manage our banks we sure as hell can kick your ass on the water. WOOOT!!!


Rest of world - We submit to your skills

Rest of world - could you guys go to wall street and fix that shit?

USA - um, probably not.

Full results can be found here

Oct 3, 2008

The Kinda Weekly Football Rundown Part Two.

The founder of this here site has set sail from our midst, a packed cooler and cowboy hat in tow. Occasionally, the Rowboat will affix a empty can tied to a rope and communicate back to the CRB HQ with various updates and thoughts. Today is one of those days.

Okay, so, the first installment of the Kinda Weekly Football Rundown went over great. Think of Sarah Palin doing pole dances at a naacp convention. Meaning it was fucking AWESOME!!!

Well, sure, why not. Lets do it again.

Yes, thats a picture of the Hope College Demolition Football Team. What? Thats a stiff arm that your mom feels in the morning!

Oh, and for the sake of site continuity, here is the sort of low-down for our various roles in the new, improved and rad CRB.

Rowboat - that's me. Yeah, I said I was leaving. Well, thats not entirely true. It was decided in a closed door and highly secretive meeting that involved all the top brass and it was determined that the Rowboat is allowed to write about anything that doesn't involve waterskiing. Basically, my job is now, without the editor title hanging over my head, I am the CRB off-topic guru.

ODBF - taking over for the Rowboat. Meaning. well, who knows. I guess there will be a bunch of videos and asterisks, probably some poor formatting as well.

Minion - Um. think he quit or something.

Anyways, Here is last weeks top ten (eight) from the NCWSA top collegiate teams.

1 Univ of Louisiana Monroe ULM 51090
2 Univ of LA Lafayette ULL 49360
3 Purdue University PUR 47105
4 Univ of Wisc Madison MAD 46455
5 University of Alabama ALA 45660
6 University of Michigan MCH 41765
7 Iowa State University IWS 41400
8 Florida Southern College FSC 41090

And here is this week.

1 Univ of Louisiana Monroe 65695
2 Univ of LA Lafayette 64675
3 Florida Southern College 62680
4 Purdue University 57310
5 Univ of Wisc Madison 56260
6 University of Alabama 55525
7 Iowa State University 53190
8 University of Texas 52325

So, the biggest changes is that Florida Southern jumped up a bunch of places, while...well, nothing else major took place. Anyways, in the spirit of camaraderie and general collegiate atmosphere we present the top eight again.

1) ULM

Well, Jesus Christ, they had a bye week last week so they didn't play any footed balls. Way to come through ULM!!

Whoa...wait a min. What is this? This coming weekend ULM plays ULL in a no-holds barred game to determine once and for all the bestest collegiate waterski team of all time!!!


Just kidding, but, if you are interested you can see this 3 hour blood feud for world domination on the radio on the ULM, the Warharks, radio network.

2) ULL.

Yeah, read right above. The Mad Max shit is happening this weekend. However, as opposed to the Warhawks, the Cajuns, RAGIN CAJUNS!! actually put their tight pants on and bashed helmets with another group of sweaty dudes last weekend, despite coming up short, losing 45-37 to Kansas State.

This drops their record to 1-3, with losses to Southern Miss, Illinois and now Kansas State.

Whatever, the Ragin Cajun himself...well, he has no rebuttal.

Thats the way you do it!!

3) Florida Southern

Making the biggest jump, from barely in the top eight to number 3, the Florida Southern Moccasains, still don't have a football team. Yeah, and I burned whatever jokes I had last week on the stupid tight pants thing.

Either way, Florida Southern has some big news! Begining in the 2008 - 2009 season, they have a mens LaCrosse Team!! WOOOOO!! Cue the popped collars and AXE Body Spray!!

4) Purdue University.

The neckbeard!!

That is all.

5) University of Wisconsin - Madison.

Nice loss to Michigan. Urban Dictionary defines that as, "Shit the Bed"

1. shit the bed

1) Making a mistake that many other people recognize as a mistake.
2) Fucking up...really bad

Jeff shit the bed when he hooked up with Marty instead of Ashlea.
by J Apr 9, 2003 share this add comment

2. shit the bed

1. verb. To die

2. verb. To become mechanically inoperable beyond the point of repair. See also, fucked, fubar.

entymology and usage: "shit the bed" comes from the unfortunate final humiliation when an animal's (yes, including human's) bowels completely relax at the point of death, causing the contents of the colon to be expelled. To use the term as a "euphamism" for biological death is considered to be in poor taste. It is more often colorfully used in definition 2.
1. That asshole Mr Jones never had a good word to say to anyone. At his funeral, the few attendees were secretly glad that he had shit the bed.

2. I was hoping that my car could be repaired, but the mechanic told me that it had shit the bed so I had it scrapped.

Yeah, thats about right.

6) Alabama.

Ranked second in the AP polls after taking Georgia out behind the middle school and getting it pregnant. Wait, that doesn't really work in this situation...How about they went all American History X on their ass and stomped them against a curb?

Whatever, the then eight ranked Tide spanked the then third ranked Georgia Bulldogs, 41-30, yeah yeah yeah, your still coached by Nick Saban. Makes it tough to root for you.

7) Iowa State.

Didn't Rykert and his sinful lake go there? No? Yes? Whatever, they also had a bye last weekend. So...ugh...that sort of ruins any fun to have with their game. However, they do have one of the cooler nicknames around, the Cyclones.

For whatever that is worth.

8) University of Texas


WOOOO have a great weekend everyone!

Oct 2, 2008

Debate drinking game (CRB way off topic)

The Official* Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game!
September 30, 2008 by slander08
Prepare yourself for this Thursday’s vice presidential debate by printing out the rules below for this year’s Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game! Without further delay, we bring you the rules.

For Sarah Palin:

Every time Palin mentions one of her kids by name, take the number of drinks corresponding to that child’s number in her brood (e.g. 1 drink for Track, 2 drinks for Bristol, 3 drinks for Willow, 4 drinks for Piper and 5 drinks for Trig). If she does not give a name, take 1 drink.

When Palin mentions 9/11 in a textually-relevant manner (e.g. “We need to prevent another attack like the one on 9/11″), take 1 drink. When Palin mentions 9/11 in a gratuitous, textually-irrelevant manner (e.g. “When my son Track was sent over to Iraq on 9/11…”), take 2 drinks.

If Palin uses the phrase, “hockey mom”, drink until she takes the self-satisfied smirk off her face.

For Joe Biden:

Every time Biden chuckles condescendingly at Sarah Palin, take 1 drink. Every time Biden chuckles condescendingly at moderator Gwen Ifill, take 2 drinks.

Every time Biden refers to himself in the third person, take 1 drink. If he uses his full name (e.g. “When people ask me, ‘Joe Biden, how did you become so good looking?’”), take 2 drinks.

If Biden points out that despite being less than 1/100th the size, Delaware has more people than Alaska, drink until you see the bottom of your glass.

If either candidate says:

Russia, take 1 drink. U.S.S.R., take 2 drinks. Swimming the Bering Straight, take 3 drinks.

Hillary Clinton, take 1 drink. Bill Clinton, take 2 drinks. Monica Lewinsky, take 3 drinks.

Dick Cheney, take 1 drink. Tricky Dick, take 2 drinks. Sucking dick, take 3 drinks.

Finally, if at any point Biden uses the phrase “I know Geraldine Ferraro; Geraldine Ferraro is a friend of mine. Governor, you’re no Geraldine Ferraro,” chug your beer, turn off your TV, and shoot yourself in the head.

Note: Slander ‘08 only condones drinking irresponsibly during election years when you need it most.

* UPDATE: It has come to our attention that there has been more than one VP drinking game spreading about on the internet. We’d like to let you know that ours is the “Official” Vice Presidential Drinking Game as it is the only one approved by perennial congressional alcoholic Ted Kennedy and his brain tumor.

Wait, those pics are not real???

Well shit...

Hittin the water in the olympic lands

Just a few months after the Olympics ended, the entire* world has turned its attention to Tianjin to watch the largest** sporting event ever.

*some people somewhere

CRB friend Cris Kodiak has been keeping us all up to date on the haps on the other side of the world. As China contains about 21% of the world population, this is probably an apporpriate location for a world competition.

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...