Apr 15, 2008

Locke Totally Reads the CRB

USA Waterski head honcho Steve Locke today posted his little Executive Report on the main USA Waterski website.

Now, back when he was hired we here at the mega-corp CRB headquarters were a little skeptical, seeing as the former head honcho, meatloaf, decided to bail for greener pastures...or whatever, either way he skipped town like a deadbeat dad leaving us with a 1/2 bottle peach schnapps and a pack of camels.

Thanks btw!!

But, we are beginning to warm to Mr. Steve as his most recent report is actually pretty cool. He talks about going to the board-up Miami wakeboard tournament to better get to know the athletes, people involved and no doubt, checking out the hotty wakeboard talent. In the process of doing this he becomes quite confused as to the nature of their language.

Granted, its Miami, so it was probably Spanish or something, but, here is a little quote from his post.
Dan introduced me to a number of the athletes and to a person they were extraordinarily polite, gracious and modest. But I just couldn't understand anything they said. That is where Dan came in. Dan had been trained by the Strauss brothers in Wakeboard-ish.

"Dude, the water is butter. I did a butt check after the first frontside rotation, it was knarly, then popped off the next wake," says athlete number one. Huh? Dan says he means it was sick. Huh? Dan says sick means good. Oh.
Thats pretty good, but, no one would have faulted him for bitch slapping whoever said that anyways. Who the hell names their kids 'Athlete' anyways? I am speaking to you Mr. and Mrs. Number One!!!

He then waxes all poetic on how impressed he was/is with the sport of wakeboarding and the community that seems to exist within that sport. You read that Mr. Dickhead skifly poster guy!?!? People can be competitive AND friendly!! They aren't mutually exclusive!

You need proof that competitive people and friendly people can co-exist? Check out the CRB Venn diagram goodness below. Revel in our profound MS Paint skills. Eat that Rykert!!!

Anyways, Steve must have been inspired by our most recent worthwhile post about the division between wakeboarders and 3-eventers because he dropped some freaking knowledge on us:
This is an incredible sport discipline under our umbrella. The athletes perform true athletic movements, talk their talk, and have big fun. Currently the dudes and female equivalents at USA Wakeboard and the dudes and female equivalents at the World Wakeboarding Association are performing essentially the same functions within this niche in the sporting world. I have met most of them, and they are all fun, passionate people, and truly enjoy water sports just like all of the other people in our various water sport disciplines. It would be truly sick if somehow we could get together and grow the sport to be something even bigger. Maybe we could call it the great "Wake Up."
Profound my main man. Profound.


Mr. Locke? You are now invited to help yourself to any amount of beverage from the official CRB cooler. Leave the Cheez-Its though. I am saving those for later.


  1. Anonymous7:59 AM

    maybe they have finally found a good one

  2. Would Mr. Locke really want to share a half-drunk (note the clever double-entendre) MD 20/20 and a 6 pack of PBR?

    Oh yeah, and consider the call-out on the MS paint skilz to be duly noted.

  3. good point, we do have some boones farm somewhere around here. every now and again we treat ourselves to something special, like, busch light or old style.

  4. Hey CRB,
    I found your cooler, come over to my lake and check it out.


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