You Better Ask Somebody: Bio Deconstruct - Rodrigo Miranda

From the pages of the US Open of Waterskiing comes some great, lame, adjective bios on all the different skiers. The CRB bios must have been lost in tubes of the ebayz, so unfortunately you can't see ours. Pitty, our training regime is fucking EPIC!!

Anyways, here is Rodrigo Miranda's bio. Smart-ass comments, as always, in italics (because italics are fun)


Division: Open Men

Hometown: Santiago, Chile
Serious, at some point the in the CRB life we would like to meet someone or deal with someone NOT from Santiago, Chile.

Lake You Ski On: Miranda's Water Ski School
Well, thats certainly convenient.

Major Sponsors: Cecinas San Pablo, Gobierno de Chile, Miranda's Water ski school
Words, words, words....whatever that means.

Competition Highlights: 3rd overall junior and u21 world championship

Favorite/First Water Skiing Moment: Jumps personal records!!
No argument there. That is the best. In a related story, our first waterski memory involves two Turkish prostitutes and a broken down Supra.

Training Routine: 4 sets a day , some cardio after skiing, monday and tuesday gym
How does that compare to the Minions workout...chicken wings, masturbation and video games. Poorly I assume.

How Do You Get Ready for a Competition? Not skiing so much, just what you need
Thats an interesting way to get ready to ski, by not skiing. Guess those frozen saps in the north are going to fucking DOMINATE!!

How Did You Get into this Sport? n/n
This is where things get interesting...lots of n/n from here on out. So, we will just assume he meant that a traveling circus came through Chile and he got linked up with the hairy midget who was wicked on a trick ski.

Tell Us Something No One Knows About You: a lot of things
Open to interpretation here...one thing we know for sure about Rodrigo is that he HATES burritos. no idea why.

What Are You Reading? nothing
Technically that isn't correct, as you would have to be reading the question to properly form an answer, unless, he was thinking it was something different, like, how much action will the CRB get from the ladies this year.

BURN!!

What is your Favorite Movie? none
Jeepers, they don't have movie in the Chile? The Little Mermaid? Under Siege 2?

Greatest Quote You Have Ever Heard:
hm...that is always a tough question. Do you go deep and philosophical or shallow with a hint of whimsy? Going to have to assume that he loves this amazing quote from noted autoer Jenna Jamison,“I always look at both sides and totally understand their fears of the unknown, ... Whenever there is any type of adult stigma surrounding the fear, the worst is always assumed.”

What is Playing on your IPod? n/n
No ipod huh? hmmm...thats unfortunate. Not nearly as bad though as....

Favorite Pizza Toppings? n/n
WHAT? Please don't let it be true that you don't like pizza! That's un-American! oh...wait... Thats un-Chile-en. Just say pinnapple and ham and call it a day dude!

While not out on the Water, What do you Do? i'm in the boat! ride the bike and party with my friends in Chile!!
I am very intrigued by this answer. First, in the boat is a verb in this situation. In Chile there is only ONE bike and party.

Party = Good. So, all things being equal, he rides in a boat, trucks around on a bike and parties.

Who would you like to meet? Lance Armstrong
ahh, that explains the bike comment. he rides THE bike, as in Lance's bike. well played sir!

What kind of vehicle do you drive? n/n
Hm. Does not want to contribute to global warming? or something more sinister. You decide.

What is your dream vacation?
See, some peoples idea of a dream vacation IS to go to Chile. So, he is living the dream everyday. Screw you Americans!

What is your favorite material possession? n/n

What are you guilty of? n/n

What is the best advice you can give? n/n
Just going to lump these last three together, as its obvious that the instant messenger cut off or the carrier pigeon got tired of going back and forth or some shit. So, he probably didn't want to admit his favorite possession is his Britney Spears weeble-wobble, he is guilty of singing the song, "I'm to Sexy" by Right Said Fred and believing it and the best advice he can give is to quit reading this fucking post right now because we have run out of.............

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

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