Take a Trip Down Hair Metal Lane

Its sunday, its a nice lazy day to sit around and have a bloody mary or three, maybe go outside and do some landscaping or get that dead racoon of your front lawn...whatever.

While you have your morning coffee, cocktail, eggos...lets take a trip down late 80's music memory lane shall we?  Lets begin our tour in 1989 with a band called Faster Pussycat. Often times this is what I say to by neighbors cat and/or your mom.



In younger days I remember having this album on cassette (remember those) and listening to it when I was delivering newspapers (remember those). They had a song called Slip of the Tongue...as a youngster, the meaning to that song was mysterious and something that maybe I didn't want to know. Getting older...well, it seems to have multiple meanings and both are quite true.

Moving along, we will go forward one year to 1990, this brings us to a band called Nelson.



Oh lord, this does not bring back any good memories at all. This is horrible horrible music. Please god let some band from Seatle come along real soon and cleanse our palletes of this nonsense. Then again, I also cannot live without your love and affection. Barf.

Ok, lets head forward one more year again..this time to about 1991 and we get Slaughter. Pretty bitchin name for a band no? Slaughter. Whoa. Like, if Pantera had some balls this is what they would be called. No, here comes slaughter. SLAUGHTER. RAHHHHHH



How does this dudes voice get that high? Amazing. Whats even more so is that, yes, They are still touring! No, really, check out their wiki.

Slaughter will perform a show at Halfway Jam festival in Royalton, Minnesota in July 2011, with Lita Ford, Cinderella, Skid Row, Stephen Pearcy, Kix, Quiet Riot and Firehouse.

What the hell Ticketmaster?  How did you not clue us in to this??  As if the Chevette would not be loaded to the gills with sandwich meat, cheez its and natty ice as we travel cross country to experience the magic that is Kix????

Speaking of which.   And don't say this song doesn't bring a tear to your eye.  Sing along now, you with your teased bangs and neon colors.  SING IT!!



Oh yeah, there it is.  God that is emotional.  Hope you did your late 80's line of cocaine and cried along.

Actually, screw it.  Time to hook this up to the big stereo and get after it.  brb.

/waves lighter
/smokes Marlboro light
/air guitar
/pukes out window of friends car

Oh, lets not stop here with our power ballad detor, lord knows that this was the prime time in the world for way overwrought love songs.  For that matter, click on any of these videos and check out the suggestions.  Man, just follow the rabbit hole.  If your old enough to remember or to young to know, its a god damn miracle that our country didn't take over the world with this sort of musical momentum.

Anyways, getting a touch out of our comfort zone here, 1992..which is about the time when Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, et.al came along to sort of wipe away the shame of the 80's.  Funny how a Warrant or Poison video looked so cheesy next to Smells like Teen Spirit or whatever, CC Deville wearing make up and slinging his guitar around while sitting on a light truss vs. Eddie Vedder singing about some dude shooting up his class.

Regardless, here comes some Saigon Kick for that ass.



Back in school there was a radio station that would play Sunday Night Love songs, think it was a syndicated thing, but, not sure. Regardless, would sit there with candles going and the lights off and just CRANK these cheese ball love songs for a couple hours. It was pretty weird.

AHHH, who are we kidding, we were totally there. Smoking cigarettes, drinking shitty beer and just jammin out. With this in mind, its impossible to look at any kid now days and say they are weird. If you grew up at all around this time in music history, don't fool yourself, we were way the hell weirder and more irresponsible about everything then ever.

Well, since we are on this love song kick, lets go big. Cinderella.



These guys somehow sort of slipped under the radar, but, lord watch this video. Epic sweaping nature shots, a random dude on a vestible jamming on his bass, Tom Keifer (lead singer guy) killing it on the piano on a beach, randomly walking around a old west setting bar thing...this has it all.

Good god, these guys are still touring too! wiki

Gotta admit, when this song comes on the iPod or radio or whatever in the car, yeah, totally crank this up and sing along. God, I feel ya brother, I also do not know what I got until its gone. :(

Remember a few songs ago, when we mentioned the Slip of the Tougue song? Yeah, this next one is sort of like that. Not alot of subtlety to it. Smooth up in ya. Good one Bulletboys.

Bulletboys: Yo girl, I am going smooth up in ya.
Girl: What? What does that mean.
Bulletboys: Yo girl, That means I am going to..ugh..you know...take my thingy and put it in your hoo haa.
Girl: Oh..that. Yeah, you got some tact on you. Sorry, allready with Nelson. Would hate to see someone die without my love and affection.
Bulletboys: NELSON!!!!



Lets put all these elements together shall we?

Our final destination down memory lane today is with our good friends Britny Fox...no no, not Britney, its spelled Britny, because E is for homos.  This dudes voice is...grating, irratating, obnoxious? Unsure the proper descriptive term but lord allmighty, the teacher in this video has no control over that class at all.

And who could possibly control a girl school full of horny 16 year old girls who just want to air guitar themselves to completion?

Oh God Yes!

Enjoy your day, and as Saigon Kick would say, Love it on the way, I can feel it in your eyes.

None of this shit makes sense