A Waterski Cowboy Rides Into Town - Part ONE
|Smells Like Someones Trick Release Didn't Release|
(horse) clop. clop. clop. clop
(horse) clop. clop....clippity clop...clop. clop
(cowboy) whoa boy, easy on the clippity. This velvet chafes an ass like you wouldn't believe
(horse) clop. clop. clop.
(horse) /chafes just a little
(cowboy) /puts out pall mall on horse
(horse) clop. clop. clop.
|The Gem Salon and Waterski Ranch|
(cowboy) I see the gem salon and waterski ranch off in the hither.
(cowboy) /kicks horse
(horse) clop. clop. clop. clop,
(cowboy) /really kicks horse hard
(cowboy) sigh. /feeds horse a chicken burrito
(horse) /fucking takes off down the trail
(cowboy/horse) /arrive at The Gem
(cowboy) /ties up horse / walks into saloon
(cowboy) /saddles up to bar
(al swearengen) /
(cowboy) yeah, thats what I am hear for. Run some buoys.
(al swearengen) cocksucka
(cowboy) There is no need for that, we are hear for the sole intent to run some buoys and drink whiskey
(al swearengen) why didn't you say so in the first place, here have a drink
(al swearengen) /pours SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS
(al swearengen) #turnt
(cowboy) so, can you set me up with a room for a week and a few whores and some whiskey?
(horse) /does wake 540 without saddle falling off
(cowboy) /adjust cowboy hat so it has a flat brim
(cowboy) /tags instagram posts #TMT #CB
(cowboy) /looks like a dork
(cowboy) your right, sorry.
(al swearengen) /wistful
(al swearengen) Don't I yearn for the days when a draw across the throat made fucking resolution.
******EVERYONE TURNS IN FOR THE NIGHT********
*****NOW ITS MORNING, NOTHING HAPPENED OVERNIGHT*****
|even the picture makes us tired|
(al swearengen) /kills a hooker...probably....then drinks coffee
(cowboy) /walks down to the starting dock
(cowboy) /still wearing chaps for some reason
(cowboy) WHO AMONG YOU ARE WILLING TO FIGHT? DON'T ANY OF YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO SKI FOR BLOOD?
(doc holliday) /coughs
(doc holliday) /looks bad ass
(doc holliday) I'm your huckleberry
(cowboy) /slightly taken aback
(cowboy) /thinks of weird old disease
(cowboy) allright. lunger
(cowboy/doc holliday) /stare
(cowboy/doc holliday) ....
(cowboy/holiday) /adjust chaps
(doc holliday) SAY WHEN
(cowboy) jesus man, take it easy, it takes like forever to put all this ski shit on, the leg spray things and trying to get this heater shirt over my fat ass is hard! Plus, whats with these bindings now??
(doc holliday) /is tweaking his binding setup
(doc holliday) /wasn't really listening
(doc holiday) WHAT?
(doc holliday) oh yeah...sorry bro. lol. gotta take a quick deuce anyways, had to much coffee and tobacco and bacon for breakfast...
(doc holliday) tell you what, lets meet up by the tree or whatever for a duel
(cowboy) dude, the lake is right here...don't be stupid
(doc holiday) ...
(jack travers) hey cowboy, you can duel anywhere, we have lots of lakes
(doc holliday) i don't
(al swearengen) SHUT THE FUCK UP
(everyone) /starts adjusting their slalom fin angles and whatever
(everyone) /OOOOOOOHHHHHH MMMYYYY GOOOODDDDD
(carl god damn roberge) /steps out of indy car
(carl god damn roberge) Hello everyone, its really nice to see you today. I have heard that you have a cowboy in town that is interested in slalom blood sport
(carl god damn roberge) /looks fantastic
(carl god damn roberge) hey baby, its ok, these guys are a bunch of pushovers
(alex laurentano) /gets out of backseat of carl god damn roberges indy car
(carl and alex)
(dig dug) /breaks fourth wall
(dig dug) YOU SON OF A BITCH!!
(carl god damn roberge) /dr. manhattans dig dug into a zillion pieces and/or death
(carl god damn roberge) So, where is this cowboy that feels like he AND/OR she can take me down. This person obviously does not understand the nature of things. I will destroy this person
(doc holiday) in vino veritas
(carl god damn roberge) Age quod agis
(doc holiday) Credat Judaeus apella, non ego
(carl god damn roberge) Eventus stultorum magister.
(cowboy) /returns from adjusting slalom fins and/or panning for gold and/or drinking whiskey
(cowboy) In pace requiescat
(jack travers) Come on boys, we don't want trouble on the slalom course in any language
(cowboy) /turning to brenda baldwin
(cowboy) evidently carl god damn roberge is an educated man, and a decent real estate agent...now I really hate him
(everyone) /waits for the god damn boat driver to get out of bed
/SCENE: Doc Holiday and Carl God Damn Roberge and Cowboy stand on the dock waiting
/SCENE: The tow boat comes into view
/SCENE: /a blond headed driver comes into view
(cowboy) oh, now its on!!!
(doc holiday) /drinks from a flask
(doc holiday) all right all right all right
(carl god damn roberge) YOU...AGAIN..../squeezes ski handle till it breaks
**part 2 coming**