Apr 1, 2014

USA Field Hockey names squad for Pan American Cup

Bro, do you even field hockey?

Its a very exciting time in the Creaky Shooting Circle (field hockey term, look it up kids), world...we are happy to pass along the long awaited group that will represent the USA Field Hockey team at the Indoor Pan-American Cup that is taking place in Uruguay that will be taking place in February in 2015.
2015 is like, a year or something from now.  WHAT?  I NEED THIS NOW.

If you remember right, about a year or so ago, we had a big conversation about which direction we thought that the USA Field Hockey team should go in.

Do they go for a more offensively minded squad?

ODBF was dead set that we aim for a sound, fiscally responsible defensive squad.

Or do you just pick the best players that you have at your disposal and just lay waste to competition?

How you do you properly balance that ethos against the proper construct of the competition?

Well, we did decide that we would just ask someone with a history of field hockey and possibly the knowledge to clue us into the proper construction of a field hockey team, the following is a brief glimpse into our conversation with Kat Skinner, a prominent field hockey historian/bike thief.

If you would like to hear our entire conversation, please download the CSC podcast (the 3 hour long mega-pod at CSCPOD.NET)

My Mic isn't the only thing that is abnormally large.

CSC: Thanks for taking the time to talk to us, lets dive right in, how do you feel that the 2015 Pan-American field hockey team is shaping up.

Kat: Eh...ok.  I have spoken with many people that feel like its more important to make scrambled eggs in the MORNING and not in the evening like some sort of god damn animal.  you feel me?

CSC: oh...is that some sort of allegory as to how to properly compete on a global level in the field hockey arena?  or...are you just talking about eating breakfast in the morning instead of at night?

Kat: your a god damn idiot.  You make breakfast food for breakfast not for dinner, I don't care how much you enjoy your Denver omelets, but, you know damn well that the broncos got their ass kicked in the superbowl by a non-food based football team.  You can't allow yourself to view things in black and white like that...you have to understand that not all of us enjoy things in the same vain as you do.

You heathen.

CSC: I think we actually understand what you are hinting at, despite your gutter mouth and propensity for weird breakfast imagery.

Your saying that its impossible to perfectly figure out the exact team until its actually constructed and how the parts all work with each other, judging things on a strictly merit based performance clause is a foolish endeavor?

Kat: /smokes a pall mall

CSC: /enjoys second hand smoke

Kat: Look, just don't wear underwear, let your bits get out there in the wind.  you get aroused???  you're winning.  You don't?  Your kids will grow up to worship goats.

CSC: thanks for the time, have a great day.  Here, have some bacon.

Kat: /skydives out of airplane

nice placement of the toast.  learn to plate your food
The Mens Field Hockey team is a bit of a shocker, but, the names should ring true to all of us.
 Kevin Barber (Camarillo, CA), Michael Barminski (Ventura, CA), Ajai Dhadwhal (Agoura Hills, CA), Mohan Gandhi (Ventura, CA), William Holt (Camarillo, CA), JaJa Kentwell (Spring City, PA), Thomas Krauss (New York, NY.), Moritz Runzi (Boston, MA), Sebastian Scheurer (Greenwich, CT), Robert Schilling (Long Beach, CA), Kevin Segeren (Twin Falls, ID), Jason Wellings (San Diego, CA)

Be on the look out for William Holt, he is Steve Holts son who would have been a hall of famer if not for the freak hot air ballon drawing that he did that was somehow set on fire and took down antropolus.  #neverforget

The womens team doesn't contain any real shockers.  HI-OHHH.  But, certainly does place them as the heavy favorites to win the cup and probably also our hearts.
Susan Ciufo (Bangor, PA), Ashley Dalisera (Millersville, MD), Maeve Doherty (Millersville, MD), Amanda Fleischut (Doylestown, PA), Lauren Hibshman (Allentown, PA), Alexa Hoover (Collegeville, PA), Maria Keesling (Downingtown, PA), Erin Matson (Chadds Ford, PA), Rachael Milne (Hatfield, PA), Kimberly Tunell (Wilmington, DE)
Alexa Hoover has come on strong recently, including a real strong showing at the Page Memorial tournament held in Andover Maryland recently, she scored like, a billion goals and carried her squad to a second place finish.

Lauren Hibshman occupies the crucial role on this particular team and also most likely is the front runner for the annual GBH award that is given annually to a person.

Stay tuned to the CSC for all your Field Hockey Updates.

Power to the people.


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