The Only Recap You WIll EVER Need!!! Part one



Its been a hell of past couple weeks. The CRB headquarters has been attacked by a Coors Light beer truck and were forced to drink all the beer before we were allowed to turn on a computer, or eat, or do simple maintenance to our racconn farm cages.

But.

The CRB Minions are fresh with stories to tell, as the traveling Chevette took its damn sweet time making its way back.

So, as it was, then again it will be, the weekend was quite the experience. Its going to be tough to recap it all, but, we do have one of those sweet swimming caps on with some goggles, one of those snorkel things and a broken trick ski. But, thats just a normal friday night with the wife if you know what i am talking about.

HI-OHHH!!!

One of the cooler events that we are aware of was the night jump. If you have seen the London Night Jump you know what I am talking about. Jumping at night.

You know what happens at night don't you?

The seventh rule of Collegiate All-Stars: Flights will go on as long as they have to!!

So, serious. The first ever (is that true?) night jump at the all-stars went off with nary a hitch and as a matter of fact if was pretty boring. nothing really happened....move on....

oh.

you mean.

RIGHT!!!

It was pretty cool!! Just kidding!!

Yes, and as it turns out the night jump was pretty fucking awesome. As you can no doubt tell by the bracket below that was produced by the same company that did the Barefoot Central website.

Errr...I think you need a magnifying glass for this....

Anyways, suffice to say that it was cool. But, lets take a look at the final pairings, from 4 on up. thats where the fun begins anyways right?

Actually, fuck it. Just click on the picture. Lets start at the top. look who one the damn thing, Kole!!

err...Cole....err..Cole TRICKLE!!!



Scientology RULES!!

Anyways, he yakked a 201 at like 1 am. No way is that possible!

But, the real fun is if you look back at the brackets.

Starting with the elite 8...VERY original btw, but, thats where the real fun starts...so follow along.

Steven Critchley knocked off Justin Pingatore 190 to 156, while Brody Reid (which sounds like a character on Boson Legal) tipped Cale Burdick 163 to 148. So in their pairing, all of a sudden Brody who was doing the rope-a-dope and Steven both ripped off a pair of 190s. but Brody advanced because he had dirt on the pool boy and the misses next door who knew the judge who was overseeing the case.

Which is lucky, because it gave him the edge he needed to get into the finals.

Now, in the lower half of the bracket things got all kinds of fun.

Brett Mommer (whose mom goes to college) faced off against Kole Magonwski. so, Kole knocked off the Mommer 173-147, while Kerri Lee hoped 99 feet to Brian Kinneys 191...meaning Brian, who jumped 191 fucking feet, really gets no love what so ever.

Because....

When Brian and Kole squared off in the next round, Kole hulked up and launched a 189 to which Brian meekly responded with a 189. :)

So, they went again and Kole knocked him off with a 193 to a 190 by Brian.

Phew.

That left Kole and Brody in the finals.

And we know who won, and to be honest, Jeff Surdej's re-cap on ncwsa.com describes this a little better then we can....because we are all hung-over today!!
"So the finals were on as 1am approached. At this point the drama and excitement could not have been any better, everyone was on the shore dressed in halloween outfits going crazy. Brody went out first as the lower seed and booted a 193 in a one jump format, at this point not one jump in the one jump format was bad, just amazing. So now Kole had to do all he could and he did putting out a 193 and yes another freaking tie and not only that a tie in meters. At this point we didn't even know what to say we just could not believe how things were laying out.

So another tie had to be broken, Kole went out first this time and the jump we all had been waiting for finally went down, a 201. Brody came up short although it was still a tremendous jump for 1am in 40 degree weather in the rain."


Is that a Stiffy Longboard or you just happy to see me?

Pt. 2 coming soon!!

Comments

  1. It's too bad that CBS has exclusive Boradcast rights. Until that changes, Dickie V will never be able to scream "He's a high-riser, baby" at the height of May Madness. Maybe I'm getting my sports confused?

    ReplyDelete
  2. 'Cuz Billy packer is the Poor man's Dickie V

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like that thinking dude. I tell you what; imagine Dick V at a college tournament.

    "HE WAS REALLY HOT LAST NIGHT, I SAW HIM WITH TWO GIRLS AT ONCE!! SUPER, SCINTILLATING, SENSATIONAL!!

    ReplyDelete

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