The CRB

Shopping for a Fishing Boat

2012-01-27T15:55:00.000-06:00

Todd: eh, loogit dat over dere...a fishin context right hurr on ballsac lake next weekend, whatcha think pa?

Pa: i like trout

Todd: yea sure trout or dem salmons or dem crawfush...*spits*

Pa: gimme 10 trout and a pack a smokes when you go

Todd: its a fish tournament pa, ain't a store

Pa: you don't say...well boy you sho dynamited the nuts out yo old boat so it sanked...prolly go to town and getcha new boat win tournament. get money get trout get lesbrians.

Todd: pa, stay off the dang aol, no more pornographones for you

Pa: *aims rifle at Todd*

Todd: *gets in truck* *cranks Brittany Spears*

Todd: *singing* I AIN'T A GIRL...AIN"T YET A WOMANS.

Todd: *arrives at boat dealership*

Ty the Sales Guy: yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo, yo, Todd my main man, the man with the plan, the man with song in your soul and dong in your..ugh..nevermind, what is going on brother from the same mother we think possibly??!!

Todd: i reckon i need me a new boat for that fishin tournament on ballsac lake nexx weekend. i gotcha get pa 10 trouts...and no lesbrians, pa tinks dat lesbrians are on the aols and fishing boats.

Ty the Sales Guy: *puts arm around Todd*

Ty the Sales Guy: Todd...bro...cuz...son maybe...i gotta tell you a secret...*whispers*..i dont know if i can do this...but, we got something here that may just blow your godamn jeans clear off your assbones..and won't be more then a little bit of money/moonshine/incest.

Ty the Sales Guy: *goes out to back of shop* Feast your eyes on this!!

Todd: YEEEEEHAAAAWWWWW

Todd: aye..old up..will my dawgs fit in dere?

Ty the Sales Guy: Your Dawgs?? I thought you hated colored people?

Todd: Dogs. like, pooches. dogs. D A W G S. *Whistles* here boys

Dawgs: Bark. Ruff. Howl. Drool. *dogs try and get into the boat, fall out*

Todd: Nah, ain't gonna work. need somthun bigger en fastar. y'all got somthun like dat?

Ty the Sales Guy: Something bigger huh? You need some size?!?!?!?!

Todd: yuh-huh

Ty the Sales Guy: You need something wit SPEED??!?!?!?!

Todd: yuh-huh

Ty the Sales Guy: You need something to get you some wet lesbrians????

Todd: huh?

Ty the Sales Guy: Check this shit out son!!

Ty the Sales Guy: This bad boy will get you to the hole quicker, make them fish drop them panties boy!! YEE HAA...its got the new for 2002 skullfucker gas injection system, gas mileage and the environment is for the queers, this dumps straight unleaded gasoline directly onto the motor for even MORE performance and fire! Put Kerosene in there, put crude oil, it don't matter, shit will light on fire and you will go faster!

Ty the Sales Guy: Talk to me Todd, is this not what you want...neigh...what you NEED to bend those fish over the barrel and shoot em??? With your Dong?????

Todd: yuh huh.

Ty the Sales Guy: Lets sign you up boy, you will be getting a big booty of trouts in no time!

Todd: *forks over cash*

Todd: Pa! come out hear, loogit the new boat we gots to catch all them trouts in the tournament at ballsac lake.

Pa: whazzat boy? cannya see im trying to eat dis moonshine?

Todd: na pa, Ty gots me a great deal i is gunna win dat dere tournament and get you all the trouts and smokes you can troutsmoke.

Pa: sounds good boy, lemme see your new fangled boat.

Pa: *gets out of rocking chair*

Todd: *gets out a beer*

Pa: *opens screen door*

Todd: Pa, you er right about dem lesbrians

Lake Trout Carry Out

2012-01-26T10:07:00.003-06:00

For the first time in 10 years ski racing is returning to the Wairoa river. Where is that? Hell if I know, you have the google bar, use it.

Look, a story about Kiwis!

Thomas Gilbert was just getting home in the early morning from the University Worlds and some punk decided that was a good time to snag all his ski stuff.

Awesome! Another story about Kiwis!

Its summer in the southern hemisphere so we are going to stay down there. The Aussies and Kiwis are squaring off in a 'whose the best of the best of the down under lands'. And here is another article about the tourny.

From Australia comes this sad story. WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU WHIP TUBES!

ULM is good...so says this article. That is news to no one at all.

Johnson Hui Chung-Sung was a coach and member of the national team for years with the Hong Kong Water Ski Association. He was killed in a car crash recently.

Nautique came out with a electric powered version of the Ski Nautique 200 last year, now they are releasing an electric wakeboard boat.

When people start buying non essential things like boats it is always a good sign for the economy. We here at the CRB disagree that boats are not essential...I mean Life Jacket starved to death because he spent all of his food money on beer and a new boat. But sales for many boat manufacturers are way up.

I have read this article 4 times and have no idea why this is news today...but whatever, apperantly this town in the UK banned skiing on Sundays so as to prevent the British Water Ski Federation from hosting Worlds there, even though worlds was already going to Canada. This would be news if it were not for the fact that this took place in 1978...

and now for some rocking out.

Afternoon Ahhhhhh

2012-01-24T15:55:00.003-06:00

Way off topic. But we are not really a site that sticks to our topic all that well anyways.

1. Stare at the red dot on the girl’s nose for 30 seconds
2. Turn your eyes towards the wall/roof or somewhere else on a plain surface
3. Keep blinking your eyes quickly!
4. What can you see?
5. Tell us who you think it is in the comments.

43@43

2012-01-24T11:15:00.004-06:00

We had the opportunity to watch a new documentary called 43@43 about Jeff Rodgers trying to get back into 43 off. It is hella good and worth dropping a few bucks on it. Dig Dug will grace us with a proper review in a few days. But for now, here is the teaser.

Vid Day Monday

2012-01-23T16:31:00.002-06:00

There are vids like this from Seattle every now and then, this one is from Utah and was shot on Saturday Jan 21st. Coming from a place that deals with shitty weather like this I can tell you that if you are falling down on ice walking to your car, its a better idea to just go back inside and mix up some Irish coffee and peace out for the day. Or you can take the route these people took and spend the rest of your day dealing with the insurance company.

Vid Day Monday

2012-01-23T14:48:00.000-06:00

Wake boarders seem to love hitting rails and kickers and all that type of stuff...well its cold out and when its cold there is snow. What do you do in the snow? Build a bunch of rails and jumps and tow in on snowboards behind ATVs. Hell yea! Oh...and drink a ton of beer at the same time.

Long vid but pretty bad ass.

Vid Day Monday

2012-01-23T11:35:00.000-06:00

Red Bull has been a solid supporter of wake boarding for years. And they produce solid vids from time to time, this is another one of those. One observation, is'int this farmer wrecking some of his crop by letting these guys board on it? Does the Minute Maid Cran-Grape juice come with a label that says "some wakeboard d-baggieness may be present"?

Whatever, the vid is cool.

Vid Day Monday

2012-01-23T09:26:00.001-06:00

I would like one of these, so next time you are out looking for a gift to send us please consider picking up one of these.

University Worlds Wrap Up

2012-01-20T13:18:00.004-06:00

This is the wrap up vid from the University Worlds held in Chile Jan 12th -15th. And it is probably the best wrap vid to date. Only complaint is when it mentions 15 countries and 40 skiers... There are over 200 countries in the world and only 15 send teams? IWSF needs to get its shit together and instead of harassing local organizing committees about TV coverage they should be working with water ski federations in countries around the world to get teams together.

We have been going over thousands of pages of old AWSA documents* recently and have been looking at how many world feds there were back in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. It is very disappointing to see where we are now compared to the explosive growth water skiing saw in those decades. Our current world and US leadership for that matter have failed to push the sport forwards. At the world level it is time for a change in leadership and direction, at the US level we might want to start thinking about a change as well.

*We do not have any association with USAWS or AWSA beyond paying our dues every year and skiing a few tournies here and there.

World University Water Ski Championships 2012 - Nos, Chile from Pablo Azocar on Vimeo.

Giraffes Are Awesome

2012-01-19T12:59:00.002-06:00

"I'm more of a west-coast slalom giraffe" - Giraffe

Giraffes are, probably, natures most perfect creation. They are functional - long necks to get food in the trees, and they are adorable - funny faces, awkward bodies, spots. The above picture, which we can't verify being 100% authentic, got us thinking...are giraffes actually good waterskiers? Can they, in fact, cure grumpiness with a funny walk?

Lets learn some more about giraffes, take it away Wiki

The giraffe (Giraffa camelopardalis) is an African even-toed ungulate mammal, the tallest living terrestrial animal and the largest ruminant. Its specific name refers to its camel-like face and irregular patches of color on a light background, which bear a vague resemblance to a leopard's spots. The giraffe is also noted for its extremely long neck and legs and prominent horns. It stands 5–6 m (16–20 ft) tall and has an average weight of 1,200 kg (2,600 lb) for males and 830 kg (1,800 lb) for females. It is classified under the family Giraffidae, along with its closest extant relative, the okapi. There are nine subspecies of giraffe, which differ in size, coloration, pattern and range.

I KNOW!!! Classified under the family Giraffidae??? NO WAY!! Lets delve deeper into some giraffe facts and funny pictures!!!
All these facts are from here (link)

Eats up to 75 pounds of food a day (typically Acacia leaves)

Tongue is 18 inches long

Have a four chambered stomach and will regurgitate their food for additional chewing – similarly to a cow.

Typically get most of their water from the Acacia leaf, but will drink up to 10 gallons of water per day.

Although rarely heard, Giraffes can moo, hiss, roar and whistle to communicate with one another

Have the longest tail of any land mammal – up to 8 feet long, including the tuft at the end.

Ancient Romans and Greeks thought that the Giraffe was a mix between a camel and a leopard. This is where their scientific Genus name of "camelopardalis" comes from.

Their heart is 2 feet long and weighs about 25 pounds

The heart's muscular walls are several inches thick

They have the highest known blood pressure of any mammal in the world – up to 280/180mm Hg when prone at heart level (approximately twice that of an average human)

Jugular vein contains a series of one way valves that prevent the back flow of blood when the Giraffes head is down to drink water. This prevents the Giraffe from blacking out.

Oxpeckers(tick birds) are often seen "hitching" a ride on the backs of Giraffes. They help keep the Giraffe parasite free by eating ticks and other parasites off of the Giraffes skin.

Have no tear ducts, although they have been seen crying

Have never been observed bathing

Mom Giraffes form a type of daycare for their young. One of the females in the heard will stay behind and baby sits all of the youngsters while the rest of the females go out foraging for food.

Despite its extreme length, the Giraffes neck is actually too short to reach the ground. As a result, it has to awkwardly spread its front legs or kneel on its front legs in order to reach the ground to drink water.

It is the tallest animal in the world

Males stand 16-18 feet; Females 14-16 feet, Males weigh up to 2,000 pounds; Females a bit lighter

Usually only sleep 5 minutes at a time, when sleeping, the giraffe generally lies on the ground, tucking its front legs under itself, then curls its neck back and rests its head on its rump.

A baby is generally 6 feet tall and will weigh about 150 pounds at birth

A baby will fall approximately 6 feet during birth before hitting the ground

A giraffe has only two gaits: walking and galloping. Walking is done by moving the legs on one side of the body at the same time, then doing the same on the other side.[27] When galloping, the giraffe's front and hind legs work in pairs.

The animal brings its hind legs ahead of and outside its front legs. The front legs then move forward.[13] While galloping, the tail will curl up.[27] The head and neck also move back and forth to maintain balance and counter the momentum.[8]:327–29 The giraffe can reach a sprint speed of up to 60 km/h (37 mph)[32] but cannot sustain a lengthy chase. (wiki)

Thats incredible! Now, go share all these giraffe facts with your friends and co-workers! CRB Cares.

Morning Brrrrrr

2012-01-19T10:03:00.004-06:00

This picture is from Lynn Novakofski. This is in Florida in Jan 1977 at Cypress Gardens. We might feel bad for him but they got to ski year round in usually awesome weather. In the snow covered wasteland that is CRBville we have also skied in the snow, but that was in May.

Stop SOPA

2012-01-18T09:12:00.004-06:00

We here at the CRB are not much for politics, really all we care about is skiing, girls, girls that are skiing, drinking a few to many beers and blogging nonsense. But SOPA as it is currently written threatens our ability to continue blogging our nonsense.

For info on SOPA click HERE

Web strike info

Epic Boats Makes Strong Case for Official CRBoat

2012-01-17T08:30:00.004-06:00

enyce, enyce, enyce

A couple days ago on Epic Boats flickr account they posted the above picture of some speakers that had cool lighting around them and we thought to ourselves, "hmm, that seems pretty cool" and then we thought, "how is it that no one has jammed hella speakers in the back of a boat like this before" and then we thought, "why on earth would anyone do this?"

Well, thankfully, we do live in quite the social media world and we came across a picture that further "illuminates" (pun alert!) the situation!

pictured: two boats. One has lights, one is full of ninjas

From what we have gathered, the led lights or whatever is used is located behind the gelcoat to make the boat glow like that. You can shoot over to either Greg Smiths facebook (link) or to the Epic Flickr account for some more pics if you so desire.

Our one beef with this, and its maybe a minor quibble, but, we do enjoy late night frolicking and general jackassery on the waters and it will be way harder to be sneaky in a boat that is glowing bright orange. Sure, that seems like a small issue, but, legit.

Never the less, we haven't seen anything stating that this will actually make its way into production but, hey, we haven't got our electric or diesel or hybrid boats yet, but, what the hell, this is a fun step forward!!

Vid Day Monday

2012-01-16T13:00:00.000-06:00

Tony Lightfoot headed down to the FISU university worlds this past weekend and webcast it for us all to see. Brian Detrick represented the US in the slalom event and gave us a solid crash to help us get through this boring Monday.

Vid Day Monday

2012-01-16T08:51:00.003-06:00

Right after a hurricane had passed over us we loaded up a couple wakeboards and trick skis into my truck and headed out to find some good street flooding. We skied right down the street for a couple hours. People were sitting on their porches and watching us and cheering. Then some grumpy old guy yelled at us. What a fun hater.

This one is a bit different, as they are skiing in the ocean behind an Audi...

Vid Day Monday

2012-01-16T01:05:00.000-06:00

When I was bartending I was happy if I did not break a glass in the ice bin or leave a bottle of jack sitting on the bar and somebody walked off with it. These cats are a little bit better then I was. Showoffs.

CRB Brings the Sexy

2012-01-14T01:00:00.000-06:00

It's Saturday, how about the CRB drops the sexy bomb on your computer screen.

There I Fixed It

2012-01-13T17:03:00.006-06:00

Radar tweeted this today:

radar waterskis @radarskis 22m
I JUST SAW TIM TEBOW in the @tommysslalom booth. He rides radar! (@ Colorado Convention Center) ow.ly/i/pK80

Problem is their link just goes to a pic of a bunch of Radar skis, but our man on the ground in Denver got the real pic of the no talent over hyped Broncos QB who will soon to be crushed by the Patriots and out of the playoffs.

radar waterskis @radarskis 22m
I JUST SAW TIM TEBOW in the @tommysslalom booth. He rides radar! (@ Colorado Convention Center) ow.ly/i/pK80

There, that is better!

More fun examples of Tebowing.

Editor's note: The ODBF has been executed for defiling the hallowed pages of this great blog with pics of this over hyped clown.

Symphony of Wakeboard Wipeouts

2012-01-13T09:00:00.000-06:00

C-Tates in an aquatic environment, his natural habitat, bro.

One of the cool things about technology, is making really good HD cameras that can go in the water and also that are generally affordable for the majority of us. Like, the gopro camera and the like, you get cool videos, movies and things to watch while you are stuck in a cubicle farm waiting to die.

Now, the flipside to all this awesomeness, all the amazing skiers doing amazing things to entertain us, the slobbering masses with out mountain dew and fast food and snuggies, is that after all the cool we see, comes the fantastic crashes.

Thankfully, followmeknow.com, put together this bitchen collection of wakeboard wipeouts and it does not disappoint. Of special note, the 1:38 point of the video (see banner pic above) a guy takes a spill off his wakeskate so hard it made our heads hurt. Click past the jump to experience the pain.

They Fall Too from FollowMeNow on Vimeo.

Lesson Learned

2012-01-12T14:40:00.006-06:00

It would seem that the wakeboarders at the boat show in Atlanta need to learn a thing or two about how to put their pools together properly. The tank they use in their exibition burst dumping 200,000 gallons of water onto the main show floor and causing quite a mess. Probably a lot of happy people resetting up their booths...

***update*** Seems that CBS Atlanta does not have their Raw Video vids set to embed properly, so the video that would have been right here is now linked below.

Raw video of the water making a mess of things.

If there are left over parts?

Waterski World University Championship

2012-01-11T17:48:00.005-06:00

On Thursday at 13:00 the world university championship kicks off in Santiago Chile. 13:00...what time zone are they in? I could google it but damn it doing work is for suckers! Our boy Tony Lightfoot is on site, so we assume this will be webcast... And the webcast that will be starting at some time and going until some other time. We would give you more info but the website is shit and we can not find any info about it.

So instead of real info here is one of Tony's interviews.

More interviews and vids are going up all day long. CHECK IT

If the US was smart they would have just sent the Hope College Wrecking Crew to drop the peoples elbow on all those other candy ass countries, but they are not...so instead we get a bunch of random really good skiers. ODBF needs to be in charge of this stuff. The US would take every medal and drop the most epic beat down since the Tide proved that LSU has a shitty QB.

Team

Brian Detrick (Saint Mary's College)

Alex Lauretano (ULM)

Tyler Lorenz (UW Madison)

Lauren Morgan (Florida Southern)

Adam Pickos (ULM)

Dylan Schaffer (Alabama)

******update****** WEBCAST IS RIGHT HERE

Wednesday Wakeboarding

2012-01-11T14:22:00.002-06:00

Harley Clifford has been Master Crafts golden boy recently and he is for good reason as this vid shows. Kids got skillz!

Harley Clifford Shred from Chris Flaxman on Vimeo.

Lake Trout Carry Out

2012-01-10T14:07:00.003-06:00

Kiwi Aaron Larkin came on strong this year and nabbed the top of the world slalom ranking list. Not only is he a great skier but hes from New Zealand and that country is crazy awesome.

The Mulwala Waterski club in New South Wales Australia has over 6,000 members and had revenue of over 10 million Dollars AUS this year. American ski clubs need to figure out how to make bank like these cats do. If my club made money like this maybe we would not have to use ropes that are tied back together and wooden skis. I have heard of this new type of ski made out of fiberglass or some other new fangled product, I want me one of those.

The Mulwala ski club may be headed for some trouble as over half of their income comes from poker machines and the NSW government is passing laws to restrict the way people gamble.

The Carolina Show Ski Team holds a Barefoot tournament on New Years Day every year, it sounds like a cool concept as well.

Regina Jaquess not only rocks it out on the water she also opened a compounding pharmacy this past summer. Sounds like a busy summer...

The Grand City Skiers from Michigan took to the water on New Years Day and proved yet again that waterskiiers are bad asses...and idiots. It is a bit colder on Jan 1st in Michigan then it was in South Carolina for the Carolina show ski teams barefoot tournament.

There seems to be a theme here...

Lake Saint Louis ski club skis on New Years Day

Unlike the Group in Abbotsford Canada that are trying to steal the Fraser Valley Ski Clubs site to set up a cable park, these guys in Utah are doing it right. Bought some land, dig perfect lakes and get their hella flip on.

This girl is hella pretty, not waterski related but...

Vid Day Monday

2012-01-09T15:09:00.003-06:00

1950s era ad for the original fiberglass skis. I had a pair of Stinger Jumpers a few years ago, those things were not really designed for speed. Take a whip on them and they would start vibrating, go fast enough and they would stop and you just launch out of them. Seems like a good idea to use them for distance jumping... Face plants on the ramp are fun, just ask Kyle Dammeyer.

Vid Day Monday

2012-01-09T10:45:00.001-06:00

I was doing an "around the boat" once with my brother driving and I came a bit close to a dock. By a bit close I mean I threw myself on my back and slid under the dock, smashing my ski into the pillars. That hurt a bit.

I blame this vid on the driver though, the kid skiing is obviously new to skiing and thus the driver needs to make sure the skier does not hit anything. Slow it up a bit there speed racer.

Vid Day Monday

2012-01-09T01:00:00.000-06:00

We suggest not washing your car in this manner. You can if you would like, but its fucking stupid and you will have to buy a new car. The choice is up to you.

Just Build a Bigger Park, Duh!

2012-01-04T15:35:00.002-06:00

what a typical crowd at LegoLand may look like

The holidays are big travel days and vacation days for most people, at least those people who have jobs that let them get the hell out of the office once and awhile.

*glares at boss*

*fills coffee cup with Jameson*

Anyways, the holiday time is a big time of the year for theme parks, especially the ones in central florida, Orlando area, where the families get out their Canyoneros, pile in the kids and go see Mickey. Of note, just outside of Orlando is Legoland, what used to be Cypress Gardens, which we have all sort of watched with curiosity to see if this ownership group, if this time it would be done right and would have some staying power, and if this holiday season is any indication, they appear to be on the right track.

Legoland, which opened in October on the site of the former Cypress Gardens in Winter Haven, said it closed its parking lot at around 12:30 p.m., and officially stopped allowing guests into the park at 1:25 p.m. It extended its operating hours until 8:30 p.m. — an hour and a half later than normal.

"We're definitely busy, and you can definitely feel that we're full. However, people are still smiling and having a great day," Legoland spokeswoman Jackie Wallace said.

This of course, begs the question, if your park is built out of legos, why not just build your park bigger!

Haha, good one dig dug.

One thing though, while we are at it, in the movie H20 Extreme, *puts on tapout tshirt, drinks a mtn dew, sky surfs*, it was somehow intimated that every skier in the worlds dream is to ski for Cypress Gardens and there were always a billion people there to watch the ski shows and what not. If that was the case, how on earth would that place have gone through all those ownership groups and eventually become legoland?

Its like I cant believe everything I see in the movies anymore!!! Like, some H20 Extreme competition exists where dudes fly a kite and then fall into the water for a back deep up. Its just silly! I was lead to believe that Cypress Gardens was equal to, if not bigger then Disney World because the guy from Boy Meets World can do a sick whirlybird.

GTF Pics Top CRB Girl to be Face of January

2012-01-03T10:29:00.006-06:00

The first month of 2012 brings CRB Girl all star Alex Lauretano to the pages of the GTF calendar. Solid choice ladies! Alex has graced the pages of the CRB more times then any other girl besides possibly the original and Hall of Fame CRB Girl Danyelle Bennett.

Hi I'm cute /Stomps trick flips all over the competition

The earth seems to be tipping over

pic credit

oh.......

As you can see Alex has earned her CRB Girl status like a boss.

~~John Horton~~The Krista over at Ball of Spray did a good interview with Alex and not only does she rule at skiing and being generally an awesome person, she is also the hottest thing since sliced bread. Sliced bread is not hot you say? Tell that to my toaster!

y u sad neo?

Morning Ahhhhhh

2012-01-03T09:13:00.001-06:00

Vid Day Monday

2012-01-02T10:14:00.002-06:00

I could go for a bit of this today...instead I am sitting at a desk. The Rowboat Abides is a dick of a boss. I would appreciate it if all of you out there would email him explaining that today is a national holiday and we should be closed. You can reach him at Lucifer@hell.com, thank you.

Behind Enemy LINES from torstein horgmo on Vimeo.

Vid Day Monday - 2011 Vid of the Year

2012-01-02T08:56:00.001-06:00

Vid of the year goes to Kyle Dammeyer and his hella jump crash from NCWSA Nationals. There really was no competition with this one. Not often does water skiing get as much national coverage as this vid received. Tosh.O, ESPN, Bar Stool Sports, etc. all covered it.

CRB Brings The Sexy

2011-12-31T01:00:00.000-06:00

New years eve is here, so how about some CRB Sexy to lighten the mood. Oh...you are already in a good mood? Well then how about some sexy just for the sake of sexy?

Happy New Year from the CRB! Drink it up!

This Boat Will Rock Your Socks Off

2011-12-29T15:37:00.001-06:00

Sammy LOVES his new woody

If there is one thing on our bucket list that is probably not within our technical grasp, would be to restore, from the ground up, a classic Chris Craft...a woody if you will. The process of replacing wood, re-doing the stringers, the motor, the wiring, all that is required to properly restore a classic woody to its original glory.

Additionally, you will probably have to either replace or rebuild the motor, which sounds fun in theory, but, you probably wont have the right tools, you will get confused and some of the bolts are rusty and sometimes you slip and hit your god damn hand on something and it bleeds and hurts and then you throw the socket wrench across the garage and it puts a big hole in the god damn drywall which you have to patch up and your wife is mad and this is bullshit gahhh!!!!

Never the less, it seems that some students at Tennessee Technical Center-Nashville and Nashville State Community College have gone about this project, a total restoration, the right way and with a bitchin huge motor, the 5.6L V8 from an Infinity QX56 Canyonero.

Brockman continued, “Before the future Infiniti lake cruiser can return to the water, we’ve had to tear it down to virtually nothing and start building it back up with fresh wood… Ultimately, it looks like we’ll have to replace nearly 85 percent of the original wood, one piece at a time, due to age and rot.” Brockman adds, “When the 20-foot Chris-Craft Holiday model was introduced in 1962, it was said to be one of the best performing Chris-Craft hulls ever produced. It cornered well, was easy to come on plane and was often used in nationally sanctioned water skiing events for just those reasons. We can’t wait to see how this classic design performs with the new engine.”

When the mahogany speedboat is complete, a custom boat trailer to match a 2012 Infiniti QX56 will also be built.

That sounds pretty awesome, all though, we could have thought of a couple better options for a powerplant then the V8 from an Infinity, like, the supercharged V8 from a Vette ZR1, or maybe a big diesel from a semi, but, thats just picking at some nits, this whole thing seems pretty cool and be interesting to see if they incorporate any of the cool electronic gizmos from the actual donor vehicle into the woody.

Also, the pics in that article show part of the resto process.

hey bro, that is totally not going to float!

A Chris Craft and a massive Infinity QX56, a big boat and a big boat, I bet they handle the same! ZING!

Note to the people behind this project, the CRB would love to be on hand and take a ride when you are done, just give us a call at 311 and let us know when to show up...we will bring the cheeze its and beer.

There are Lots of Lakes to Ski on

2011-12-29T13:34:00.000-06:00

Oh hello there, nice to see you...I don't think that we have met before, but, my name is Rocko, and I am a Cessna 172 airplane. Often times people confuse me with many different things, it could be something like a Cessna 152 and I am all like "pssh, that only has two seats you fool!", sometimes i get confused with a bass boat, which is real odd because I can barely float!!

Anyways, I just wanted to say hello. It gets a bit lonely up here in the air, and cold, but, you do get some really impressive views.

For example, just the other day I flew over your moms house. haha, thats some airplane humor right there sir.

But, no, what I really wanted to share with you is that...one of the things you learn, is that there are many many lakes that you can see when you are flying around that you can totally ski on.

Like, here, take a look at this.

You may think, yeah, thats nice Rocko, but, that looks like Bennetts ski school and you cant fool me.

HO HO HO, you would be wrong sir, that is in fact a naturally occurring lake in the South Dakota foothills, it is there just as god and nature and witchcraft intended it to be, it is certainly NOT Bennetts ski school in Louisianna...in fact, I cant fly in those hot conditions, my blades get all gunky.

Here, look, this is another picture i took as i circled around.

Yep, that blue water...and the other blue colored water is totally normal, thats how the water in South Dakota is, its various shades of blue, something to do with the clay in the ground or maybe, thats just how my camera works or something, i am really not super tech smart.

I wanted to stay longer and take more pictures, but, it was getting late and i am not certified to fly at night, my instruments may get jammed...at night.

So, what I am saying is that...there are more lakes out there in the world to ski on then you are aware of. You just have to look.

I know that may not help with your impending divorce, but, there are more lakes to ski on, you know, fish in the sea, lakes to ski on. Ha, a little aquatic themed humor.

Ok, well, have a nice day.

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-26T13:34:00.000-06:00

This is how I drive into the CRB world headquarters every day. The Rowboat Abides gets pissed and shoots his musket at me every time. Good thing he is a shitty shot...

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-26T10:00:00.000-06:00

Yes and hell yes.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T11:10:00.000-06:00

Merry dubstep Christmas to all. Hope Santa brings you all the waterski toys you asked for. We at the CRB asked for world peace...haha, that is false. We asked for DOLLA DOLLA BILLS Y'ALL! We will probably be disappointed.

Santa

2011-12-23T11:33:00.000-06:00

Its Christmas Time in CRB Land

2011-12-22T09:35:00.002-06:00

Boats vs Cables

2011-12-21T09:35:00.000-06:00

Albert Dyck Park is in Abbotsford BC, that is British Columbia Canada for the geographically stupid people out there, is in the middle of a tug of war between a long established waterski club and a group looking to put in a cable park that would make the lake unusable for boat towed water skiing.

This is a tough one, the ski club has used the park for many years but it is city owned and the club has no lease on the site. There is nothing that stops the city from finding a group that will pay to use the site or pays more then the club to use the site.

Looking at the picture it seems it would be a sad day to destroy such a place with a bunch of ugly cable towers and D bags running around in Affliction t shirts. It is easy to side with the ski club, not only because we at the CRB are waterskiers and wakeboarders tend to be annoying dip shits, but because they have been using this park for many years, back in 1995 it was one of their club members, Dave Miller, that worked with the city to convert an old gravel pit into the great ski lake that is now there.

So what gives the cable park groups the right to come in and steal this site? Lack of foresight on the park of the ski club is what. They have no lease on this sight, they never locked it up when there were no competitors for the location. I grew up on a ski club that was smart enough to lock up its site with a 99 year lease with the city. The 1 buck a year cost was tough, but worth it in the long run... Towns will sign deals like that when they see no other use for a site, Albert Dyck was a gravel pit before, lock that shit up!!

We are strong supporters of any and all towed watersports, and love the expansion of cable parks around the world. The parks have proven a great way to bring new faces into our sport, and the growth is good in the long run. But in this case we have to side with the skiers, this has been their site for 16 years, they have hosted pro events and smaller tournaments over the years and (as far as we know) have been good stewards of this great site and park. Hopefully Abbotsford's city leaders have some loyalty to the club and let them continue to use this great park. At the same time we hope they help one of the cable park groups find an alternative site somewhere in the area.

In the news

Save the Fraser Valley Water ski club Facebook page

Morning Ahhhhhhhh

2011-12-21T08:39:00.001-06:00

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-19T12:56:00.001-06:00

This vid is from 2009, but still dope. Clem is a crazy good skier and a CRB girl, and lets be honest here, being a CRB Girl is really all that matters.

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-19T10:15:00.000-06:00

This is not like my normal downhill ski vids, what happens to this guy would probably scare many people off from back country skiing for years. Not me, but thats cuz the ODBF is a GD BAD ASS!!

/hides from shadow.

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-19T01:36:00.000-06:00

What is this Russia?!!?? No actually its Kazakstan, if you don't know where that is go back to school and take a geography class you bum.

Somehow this is the best thing I could find while searching the youtubeerwebz today. That is sad, COME ON LOLCAT POSTERS!! Step up your game guys.

Lake Trout Carry Out - Weekend Edition

2011-12-17T14:49:00.002-06:00

Australia and New Zealand are amazing countries to visit any time of the year, but during the winter in the US it is even better. You get to ski! The water is not frozen! The Aussies and Kiwis have put out many top 3 event skiers and love their speed skiing, but less well known up here but very popular down there is their skills on their bare feet.

Wrong type of Kiwi

Speaking of the land down under, Australia will be hosting its first IWSF World Cup in March.

Show skiing is often viewed as a event that is only practiced in the Midwest. Showskiing actually was started in Portland Oregon or New York City depending on who you believe. It is also popular in New England and in several states in the south. The Carolina Show Ski team from Tega Cay South Carolina is bidding to host the Southern Regional show ski tournament. Big step for a little team...

Is a man made lake a lake or a pool? WTF? Well you would think the answer to that question is pretty evident but Eagle Mountain in Utah is actually debating this question.

In the early years of wakeboarding there were many 3 event skiers that switched over to competitive wakeboarding, but we have now found the next step in that process...Pro wrestling...

While a Utah town debates whether a cable lake is a pool or not the United Kingdom continues to allow more and more cable parks to be built.

People in Michigan are crazy. I have skied when it was snowing before, but that was because of where I went to college and the weather sucking something awful at spring tournaments. These guys chose to ski in the snow for fun...they are stupid.

There is ice on the lake? Hell yea lets go skiing!!

The Indonesian national waterski team recently dominated at the South East Asian games. Nice to see skiing expanding around the world. Has the IWSF world cup actually been working to spread the sport? Don't ask Verno, he will not accept praise for Kuno and the IWSF to go unpunished.

Morning AHHHHHHH

2011-12-14T10:29:00.000-06:00

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-12T15:14:00.000-06:00

The guys at the University of Wisconsin Madison have made some of the best vids put out by any collegiate team in the country. At least the best that we have found...or that has been sent to us. HINT HINT all the rest of you slackers!

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-12T13:40:00.000-06:00

Holy Freaking Hell is this awesome. This vid is on par with the freestyle bike vid we put up back in the warmer months at some point. I would look for it but I am lazy and bossman expects me to actually get work related shit done today. He is a dick.

This would be like Parkour but on skis...or something like that. Starts slow but gets awesome. Very good camera shots and interesting angles.

JP Auclair Street Segment (from All.I.Can.) from Sherpas Cinema on Vimeo.

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-12T10:55:00.000-06:00

Girls will argue this one to no end, but it is infact impossible for a guy and girl to be just friends without feelings being involved somewhere. We are guys and guys are like rabbits in that we like to hump.

This phenomena is much more easily seen on ski clubs. Just ski for a college team for a season...you get the picture.

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-12T03:51:00.000-06:00

I need to get some of this Menthol Mist...

Evening Ahhhhhhhhhhh

2011-12-09T17:13:00.003-06:00

Girls That Fly jumper of December June Fladborg

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-05T16:46:00.002-06:00

There is a light coating of snow on the ground, that depresses me but it also means snow ski season is almost here. So F yea to that! Lets watch some crazy bad ass skiing.

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-05T13:58:00.002-06:00

I love these kind of vids, they just show all the awesome shit we can do. Jumping is really the only part of our sport that fits into the "extreme" sports category. If anyone says that slalom is in that category I will get in the CRB Chevette and drive to wherever you are and bitch slap you.

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-05T10:46:00.000-06:00

This happens to LifeJacket all the time, it is why we see him around so rarely. That guy is constantly hiding from his baby mamas. It is also why we are constantly finding small cuts in all of the ropes in the CRB SkiMasterBu.

Vid Day Monday

2011-12-05T01:48:00.000-06:00

We have mentioned Austin Able before, he has gotten into 41 off at a few tournaments and has been right on the cut at a couple of the big tournys. We met him at a tourny last summer, this kid is awesome. Saw him sleeping on a picnic table at the Global invite drooling on himself as well, that was also awesome.

Go Fast

2011-12-02T15:29:00.003-06:00

Stole this from Johnny Hardcore Harmon's facebook. He commented "if these boys cant make a living doing what they do then waterskiing stands no chance". Not a terrible point, but we just have to change our approach and push events that do have the ability to draw the dollas.

Johnny is one of the best waterski drivers I have ever ridden with, dude has solid skills. I have also drank with him, and again, dude has solid skills! He asked me once why I was not working at bennetts, I did not have an answer at the time. I do now, its because there is no money in ski school coaching, you can make a living owning the school, but if you want to work at those schools you better have no outside expenses or a solid trust fund. I coached for 4 years at another school (if you want to know which one just dig back into my old posts, I talk about it) and I was broke as a joke the whole time. I now sit at a desk and stare at numbers all day long because this is where the money is. There are lots of guys like me in the world, not enough dollas to support ourselves in the ski world so we drift off to the real world. And the real world sucks.

Once we figure out how to make it so those of us that love the sport can make a living in it, then we will have a chance. Until then we will just have to post vids from the sidelines.

Wednesday Wakeboarding

2011-11-30T09:26:00.000-06:00

Nikita/Harley from Martyanov Nikita on Vimeo.

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-28T13:44:00.000-06:00

Community is one of the best comedies on tv in many years, of course the fuck heads over at NBC have pulled it off the lineup. I swear that if NBC were run by road kill they would be a better station. The NBC execs would say "but kind sir, the masses want more reality TV programs and dancing shows", to which I would respond "the masses are fucking idiots who don't deserve a vote in this, and they are idiots because you have made them so with the hour upon hour of brain dead garbage you throw at them."

Seriously, there is about a total of 5 hours of TV a week that is worth watching and now Community is off, next I bet they will kill Parks and Rec. Then I bet Mad Men and Sons of Anarchy will be canceled just to spite me.

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-28T11:28:00.000-06:00

Slalom Ski mag had TV commercials in the 80s, back when they covered more then just slalom skiing. They covered non slalom skiing things like hot dog slalom and kneeboarding... oh, well in that case it was still useless.

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-28T01:51:00.000-06:00

I want one of these in my back yard. Would not make much sense as my back yard is about the size of a bathroom floor tile and it is flat, but I want one and I will have it.

CRB Gives Thanks 2011

2011-11-24T03:55:00.000-06:00

Last years Thanksgiving was pretty much a gigantic day of dry humping, we were really excited about what we had planned for the day and at every turn things seemed to go sour.

So, we have decided this year to tackle our weaknesses head on in order to avoid the problems that have plagued recent CRB thanksgivings.

First of all, last year we tried to deep fry a turkey. This is harder then you may think, first of all, you need one of those things that sit outside with a propane burner and, well, you need to have some idea of what to do instead of just having the oil boil and throw in a turkey.

Turns out, this was very poor planning on our part and resulted in a minor to average size explosion that damaged parts of our warehouse, thereby A. voiding our insurance policy and B. destroying much of our inventory of crb merch.

So, to combat this problem, this year we went to the store and got a whole bunch of turkey lunch meat and are going to make turkey sandwiches instead.

This solution is both easier to clean up afterwards and hopefully results in less unruly fires.

Second, last year we invited everyone in our neighborhood, or more specifically, everyone else that inhabits the same business park that CRB HQ resides. This ended in many unfortunate circumstances. Most notably, we had no idea the amount of beer that all these people could drink, and to complicate this matter further, they became angry and irritable as the beer began to dry up. Naturally, we keep a stash of rum in the board room, but, the unruly mob quickly sussed out this stash and made a mad dash, knocking over various party trays of cheeses and gardetto snacks. It caused quite a mess.

But, beyond that circumstance, due to the intimate and cozy nature of the offices, we may or may not have had a few unexpected pregnancies as a result. This is all hush hush and under the radar, but, not only did a few of our staffers in the editing bay ask for advances on their salaries to cover unexpected expenses, but, Carly and Megan who run our international marketing department both left on maternity leave in late july seemed a bit curious as our CRB contract expressly prohibits families.

So, this year we are instituting two counter measures, first, we just went ahead and got one of those cool beer trucks with the taps on the side and parked it next to the lake so people can hang out outside and get their drank on by the dock.

Second, we have been dilluting birth control pills in all the drinking water since last years events, so, everyone should be unable to conceive...this should eliminate the unwanted pregnancies and allow people to drink to their hearts content.

Our third issue from last year, was that as hosts of this event, we were required to play nice with everyone and make sure that everyone was having a good time. This is intolerable, as there is hella football games on tv and we had just finished breaking in the new SkiMasterBu complete with nitrous system and huge ass stereo, so, we were unable to go wakesurf and do power turns like we normally do.

This was very frustrating.

It was alot of , "hey, CRB you ran out of deep fried skittles" and "hey, CRB, is there anyway you can get some more ice, because my mixed drinks are awfully warm" and "hey, CRB, is there any way that you can make some more of those steak kabobs?".

We were all, "what the hell? Deep fried skittles? Steak Kabobs? we had a deep fried turkey and a cooler with cheap beer...where did this shit come from?"

Turns out, someone was holding a catering company hostage and figured the best way to make their escape was have them cater the CRB Thanksgiving party...which is odd as hell.

So, this year, we decided to hire fake hosts for the party, turns out that there are companies that do this sort of thing, Party Escorts...I guess they call em, or just escorts..either way, the ladies are really attractive and slutty...just a vibe we get.

Anywho! This way, we don't have to play host and can ski and/or watch football to our hearts content.

In fact, this year, we won't even be at our own party. We are just going to sit on the couch at home and watch football and eat turkey sandwiches and hang out with our regular family.

All the other stuff that we are doing and all the other things that we have done for Thanksgiving don't really mean anything, its alot more fun to fall asleep on the couch with your family then dick around with all these other crazy people.

That sounds like a pretty good Thanksgiving.

We all deal with all this nonsense all year long, dealing with people you don't always like, listening to your boss, going to work, doing all this crap, its nice to have a day to just hang with the important people, eat turkey and watch football. That is something to be thankful for, everyone else that is coming to the CRB party can enjoy themselves and tweet good things about us, which, is cool and all, but, this is the one day of the year that you can be with the people that really matter and that is something to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving from the CRB!

#Occupy

2011-11-22T13:39:00.001-06:00

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-21T17:05:00.000-06:00

This vid takes a little bit to get rolling but once it does its the awesomes. Yes I stole it from The Chive, they titled it "People Are Awesome" and that is a very apt description of the video. They use clips from a bunch of vids that have graced the pages of CRB Vid Day Monday before.

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-21T15:15:00.000-06:00

This song is a bit over played on the radio but its damn good, and these kids do an awesome cover of it. Its worth digging around a bit in their Youtube page, kids are skilled.

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-21T13:22:00.000-06:00

The ease with which Dylan throws these flips pisses me off to no end. F you and all your talent, stop making the rest of us look stupid. Jerk.

/flips
/mobe (like a boss)
/back to back front flip.
/pimps

Oh and note to the guy uploading the vid: I spell like crap and I don't really care, but you misspelled the main two words on the vid.
Fromt - Yea no m in that word but at least I understood what you were saying.
Mobuce - WTF? I had to watch the vid to see that you were trying to say Mobius, as in a full twisting gainer.

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-21T11:05:00.002-06:00

Back before we had to get a job and try to be responsible we used to fuck around on the lake and do stuff like this all day. The amount of money we wasted on gas doing power slides or trying to do wake 3s on a slalom ski would probably pay off my car. Ah the good ol' days... Never ever grow up, it sucks.

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-21T04:25:00.000-06:00

Charlie Chaplin in 1940, giving the speech that Hitler should have given.

CRB Brings the Sexy

2011-11-19T01:00:00.000-06:00

This is Doutzen Kroes, and she knows how to wear a swimming suit. oof!

It appears she also knows how to wear lingerie.

Afternoon Ahhhhhh

2011-11-18T16:46:00.001-06:00

Hit The Slopes

2011-11-16T09:47:00.003-06:00

It was 25 degrees this morning, the boat has been winterized for over a month...I guess it is time to come to terms with the waterski season being over (except for you bastards in the south). Late fall is the worst time of year, its to cold to ski and what snow there is does not stick so you cant snow ski. This weather is shenanagens.

But, in a short time it will be snowing and time to strap on skis again. Maybe a winter like the guys in this vid had is in order. Of course it would help if I were to get a new set of skis or a decent snowboard. But whatevs, I bet my jumpers will work just fine.

/straps on jumpers
//gets laughed at
///feet freeze and fall off

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-14T15:33:00.000-06:00

Try to watch the mother in this vid and not get teary eyed. It is an exercise in futility.

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-14T13:00:00.001-06:00

This guy is freaking awesome. The only thing in that vid that I could do would be sit on the ground and open a bottle of juice, beyond that I am useless.

/flips while flipping

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-14T10:20:00.000-06:00

Russia Today is an English language news station out of...Russia...yea. They do a pretty solid piece on Worlds, sure would be nice to see this kind of coverage here.

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-14T01:24:00.000-06:00

Thinking outside the box. That is what these guys did to make the new Audi A6 look even cooler then it already is. The projection equipment they are using is amazing and the lights and all of that is great, but the key here is how to make a car look like its in motion when in a closed space. And boom, these guys nailed it.

Audi A6 3D Mapping Nomadic Installation from Lumina Motion on Vimeo.

Musical Friday - Memory Journey Edition V.5

2011-11-11T13:03:00.000-06:00

To finish up our little journey down memory lane in musical form, we have some Dave Matthews.

Now, we have never had a chance to see this dude in concert despite being pretty much the exact demographic. This song, "Don't Drink the Water", besides being god damn awesome, is also really funny as a waterskier because you can always say, "hey man, don't drink the water...there is blood in the water" and even if it isn't true they will go, "oh jesus!" until they realize you are just a figment of their imagination. Or are they???

Anyways, we would imagine that most waterski type people had a hard time evading Dave in some way shape or form...or Phish or something similar. Which is fine, but, jesus man! Give it a rest! Put on some metal and lets get our mosh on in this bitch!

Is that drummer guy wearing a no fear shirt? and not even just a no fear shirt but a dirt bike rider guy style shirt? dude, step it up, your better then that!

Speaking of which, can we all just agree to never again speak about No Fear and Big Johnson and Big Dog and all those astonishingly moronic t-shirts from back in the day?

Mr. Zogs Sex Wax! Oh My God! It says sex on it! I am so cool! Jesus man, do you know where the money goes that you spent on that shirt? It goes to Italy!! Probably the same people that do Tapout and Ed Hardy shit, lord Almighty we are idiots.

Like, do you ever look at old pictures of yourself and think, holy god...why didn't someone kick my ass? I look like a dickhole. Well, probably because we all did, but, there wasn't facebook and whatever to provide an accurate mirror into our own idiocy.

Maybe thats why goth people have it right...just dress in all black and say screw it, pretty hard to go wrong wearing all black all the time. Then again, the black eye shadow and trench coat is awfully hot in the summer, and you probably feel like a dipshit trying to coordinate eye shadow and black nail polish with your neon green skurfer.

Musical Friday - Memory Journey Edition V.4

2011-11-11T12:00:00.000-06:00

When we were in high school...and actually, while pretty much everyone was in high school we all had various places we knew we could where we would listen to music, get our drink on and not worry to much about being hassled by the man. Lucky for us we had a place like that, actually a few of them now that we think about it, but, one in particular sticks out. You drove down this winding dirt road and there was a big grain silo and a fire pit, and we would have a bon-fire, drink whatever we could talk our buddies older aunt/sister/something into buying for us and then drive around like idiots.

Now, we think, that area became part of some sub division and our spot is probably some uptight late 20's douchebags kitchen where him and his stepford wife plan out their family and mini van and weekends at their relatives in wine country or something. Ugh, screw you man, i got a bottle md 20/20 with my name on it and a shitty pickup to drive into a ditch.

And we probably have to thank the beasties for being there with us, thanks MCA and Mike D and Ad Rock for a soundtrack to our eventual liver problems and failed marriages!!

Speaking of which, if you are lucky enough to grow up on a lake or on a private ski lake situation or something or in an area where you have some space, count your blessings. You have some area to go experiment and get drunk and do whatever without hopping in your car and driving around like an idiot.

The more you know!

Musical Friday - Memory Journey Edition V.3

2011-11-11T11:00:00.000-06:00

A while back we were at a bar that had a god damn karaoke machine set up...more specifically a guy would come in with a whole set up and people would wail like a bunch of dipshits...and yes, we have got up and rocked the mic like a boss, but, karaoke in general is a pretty bad idea.

Short story long, one time this dude requests this song, Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden and we all just sort of prepare of a abomination of singing and spectacle and as god as your witness this dude just nailed this song. Hitting all the high notes, playing to the people, stomping around like he owned the place. It was so awesome, we all stood up and cheered. Then some idiot did the Bette Davis Eyes song and butchered it and ruined the vibe.

Do you have to be all devil worship and what-not if you are in a band like this when you are out at Target buying diapers and birdseed? Or can you put on normal t-shirts and jeans and a hat and just be a random dude with unfortunate tattoos and a ass-load of money...like us!

Musical Friday - Memory Journey Edition V.2

2011-11-11T10:07:00.000-06:00

Speaking of teleporting in time, does anyone remember Blue October? The song Hate Me came out in 2006 and for some reason, every damn morning for a month waking up it would be on the radio. Lets make this clear, there is nothing better then starting your day off with an emo guy blaming himself for a break up with a girl..and not even being sarcastic, some dude bitching about a break up IS a good way to wake up. "yo, this dude is way worse off then me...today is going to rule!!" and then we would go out and still not have a job, but, dominate some basketball with the neighberhood kids. Whats up now? Your jump shot ain't so silk now huh??? Then the kid drains a 25 footer in my grillmix. FACE.

Whatever kid, I can legally drink.

Musical Friday - Memory Journey Edition V.1

2011-11-11T09:07:00.000-06:00

ODBF does the vid day mondays, and why the hell not, lets do a Musical Friday...Its the last day of most peoples work week and Dig Dug loves some music, so, here is some music stuff.

First, we were going through our CD collection...remember those? An actual case full of plastic discs? Trying to find the third Led Zep album and came across the Sarah McLaclan Surfacing album, and you know what? Screw you, she rules and this album is great. Not ashamed to admit that many times we have cranked this while driving around, towing boats, delivering weed, etc.

Two things about this video. First of all, is she a shape shifter or something, watch this video then google image search for her, its like, two different people. She is so smoking hot in this video and other times...not so much. Secondly, what is with that dude poking holes in her dress? What a douche.

Isn't it weird how you can hear a song..even a song you haven't heard for years and you are transported instantly to a certain time and place? What is up with that?

The Led Zep album we were searching for whatever reason teleports us directly to 1996 driving to work, down a road covered in leaves, with a lake off the left. What the hell? Every damn time!!! So weird.

Thanks Vets!

2011-11-11T08:39:00.003-06:00

On this 93rd anniversary of the end of World War One we would like to give a big thank you to all of those that have served.

Point/Counterpoint - A CRB DEBATE : Webcasting

2011-11-10T02:37:00.005-06:00

Welcome to Point/Counterpoint...a totally fresh and novel approach to debate that has never been done before. Dig Dug and ODBF will debate the hot topic issues within the waterski world and the ancillary aspects to the death. We argue about everything.

This week we discuss the role of Webcasting. In the past few years, with the rise of technology and speedy internet, more and more tournaments, competitions and events are being webcast. Allowing more fans of the sport to consume the product and hopefully providing a platform for our stars to shine.

A more accurate diagram we have not seen

Point/Counterpoint #1 : Is it appropriate for our sport to embrace webcasting?

ODBF: Webcasting is a good step forward for our sport, for years since we fell off ESPN we have only gotten a couple pictures of events and then scores much later or not at all. Tony, Tadd, Tom Grey and a few others have brought pro tournaments back into the comfort of our homes. Could the webcasts be better? Hell yea they could, but I could also be in better shape and that is not going to happen anytime soon.

Dig Dug: Appropriate, yes. But beyond webcasting, the embrace of social media and whatever technology available is a good thing for this sport. As with many things waterski based, it does seem a bit hit and miss sometimes, but, wrapping your arms around what is available to you is, in general, a good thing.

The right amount of money gets you webcast of CRB offices

Point/Counterpoint #2 : Would you like to see more integration of webcasting?

ODBF: Webcasting needs to be an integral part of every tournament. Right now the vast majority of pro tournaments have very small crowds and that does no good for the sponsors. Say GM sponsors an event then they roll in and see that their $40k has bought them exposure to 500 people, there is no chance in hell they will come back next year. Now say they come to the site and see 500 people and total webcast hits of over 10,000, well that will get them thinking this was a decent investment of marketing dollars.

Dig Dug: Yes, absolutely. Its tough, in that, there are really only a few people that, currently, effectively produce and distribute webcasting for waterskiing and currently it appears really only in the 3-event realm, that we are aware of. It would be great to see this level of availablity in all areas, wakeboard tournaments, barefoot events, big dawg slalom events, ski racing, etc. Further, not only just webcasting, but, online chats and channels/views/camera angles and the like.

All of a sudden we have a powerful thirst

Point/Counterpoint #3 : Can webcasting become part of an overall cohesive marketing plan?

ODBF: As my example above shows, not only can it be part of the overall marketing plan but it has to be. Waterskiing is a small sport with a small following spread around the world, getting someone to fly from Utah to Michigan to go watch slaloming for 2 days is not likely to happen. But make it so Joe Cowboy from Utah can throw his lappy on the coffee table and drink a couple beers while watching some swervers tear it up and you are much more likely to get him to give up a few hours on the weekend. Now that you have those viewers watching your webcast you have something to bring to advertisers. Much more likely to get sponsors if said sponsors see that thousands of people will see their name.

Dig Dug: Yeah, sure, but I think you are missing something there ODBF, in that, unless you are really in tune with the various events going on you have no idea that its even being webcast. I have missed a bunch of them because I didn't know there was an event going on. A cohesive marketing plan needs to start from the top down and again this goes a bit to USA Waterski and/or whomever the governing bodies are. Which, for the overall health and growth of our sport, could step up a bit and have a central location for information on all events, promotion of events and have guidelines for said production of the event. Maybe, like, a professional sports league or something. But, there are pro-ams and night jams and malibu opens and the like, that don't appear, from the outside looking in, to have any connection with each other or a specific way to learn about them.

Aerodynamically poor

Point/Counterpoint #4 : Is our sport best served by "in-house" production vs. an outside production house?

Dig Dug: This is a tough one, because as CRB'ers we love us some tony and tadd, and they do great work and it looks like, with the waterski broadcasting thing that Tony is doing, laying the groundwork for future improvement. So, its a matter of how this would tie into the above marketing/promotion machine that our sport could benefit from.

ODBF: Right now we are getting decent results from Tony, and Tom Grey, those results could be much better. But cost is a prohibitive factor right now and the current options are not exorbitantly expensive. Stick with what you know.

Producing a televised waterski broadcast is strangely complicated these days

Point/Counterpoint #5 : In a glass ball, what do you think is the possible outcome for our sport, from a production/exposure aspect?

ODBF: We will continue to push webcasts and as the technology gets better so will the results. As we get more and more people watching the webcasts we can start to sell our sport to TV again. FoxSports, Versus, ESPN possibly, and so on, are the end goal.

Dig Dug: I agree sort of, but, i disagree with the idea of "selling" our sport to an espn or versus or fuel or whomever...in a sense, everything is a sale..the NFL, for example, doesn't need to "sell" its product, people are lined up to buy, but, they focus on their own brand to make it more attractive to suiters. That is a slight way of looking at that difference, but, I would like to see...or more specifically, the best possible outcome that I see would be that USA Waterski or Waterski broadcasting or pro ski tour or a new company build a brand, build a product that is so desirable that someone will want to purchase/product/package and promote. For example, CRB Productions builds a production arm and streamlines the process to the point where Fuel TV or the like could simply plug and play into the production arm of CRB Productions to televise the events, the shows, etc.

Winter is Here

2011-11-09T13:47:00.005-06:00

Well...winter has struck parts of our country already, east coast took a hit, Alaska is getting smacked with a snow hurricane (which sounds plesant...) and today the upper midwest. We were sent a couple pics today that outline the weather change. These two pictures are from a CRB reader in Minocqua Wisconsin, home of the oldest continually active ski club in the country.

Yesterday...

Today...

Lake Trout Carry Out

2011-11-08T08:33:00.004-06:00

Lake Trout Carry Out is what we are currently calling the random link heap/dump/thing/whatever.

John Mommer, of Militia clothing and awesome pics, has joined HO as their new sports marketing director. HO is doing this right, pick a skier to sell to skiers.

Mommer! Stop taking pictures in my bedroom!

Cot Cambell likes to bet big, and so this "master of ceremonies for a waterski team" dropped a 5k bet on a horse and won big.

A group of wakeboarders is about to open the first full size wakeboard park in the western US in Eagle Mountain Utah. Utah is the first??? Whats up now Cali!!??!!

Speaking of cable parks, Danial Grant is 13 years old and rides for Rip Curl. He has been dominating the Rip Curl cable wakeboard and wake skate tour in Asia. And yes, he is 13.

Sticking with wakeboarding, the Pan Am games were held recently in Mexico. Canadian Wakeboarder Aaron Rathy took the silver but has been forced to give it back for testing positive for the banned substance methylhexaneamine. I had no idea what that was so Google teach me!

We often joke about how speed skiing is for crazy people, well Tony van Duerson took the sport up again soon after his daughter broke her neck in a crash. You would think he would have learned his lesson but alas he did not. Sad story.

It just takes one jack ass on a public lake to get ski clubs in trouble. We are contstantly finding stories about show ski clubs or ramps on public lakes running into issues with some cranky lake front home owner who just needs to cause problems. The Muskego Waterbugs show ski team is currently running into a problem like that. A team that brings in large crowds to an unused city park and provides good family entertainment is at risk of losing their ramp due to some jag off that just cant leave well enough alone.
Andy Mapple is selling his house in Orlando $1.65 million. Check it.

And another story of skiers fighting for lake time, this time coming from down under.

And in honor of Micheal Jackson's Doc going to jail, Thriller.

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-07T16:25:00.000-06:00

Starlings everywhere. Its like birds but with less Tippi Hedren.

Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-07T14:52:00.000-06:00

This happens to the CRB Minion all the time, its why he spends so much of his time in South American prisons. Needs to pull up on the stick faster. *dick joke*

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-07T11:55:00.002-06:00

High school student and Sea World San Antonio skier Seth Fraise can ski. There were once pro ski shows all over the country but many have closed in recent years.

Day Light Savings Time

2011-11-07T09:11:00.001-06:00

Vid Day Monday

2011-11-07T02:44:00.002-06:00

300 foot Texas style jump? Not a problem for this guy...

CRB Brings The Sexy

2011-11-05T00:05:00.000-05:00

I typed a whole bunch up here...but then deleted it because, Kate Upton.

And yay video.

Thursday Afternoon Musical Mystery

2011-11-03T11:49:00.001-05:00

Wannabe DJ: OH HELL YEAH BRO IM FUCKING PUMPED THAT YOU ARE HERE, YOU GOTTA CHECK OUT MY RECORD COLLECTION, ITS SO MEGA, HUGE...LIKE, I EVEN WENT TO THIS SHOP DOWN ON FOURTH STREET WITH THE HIPPIES TO GET THE NEW SKELETONWITCH ALBUM, IT IS OWNAGE.

BRO, BRO...BRO, YO, GET A HIT OFF THIS. *passes joint*

CRB Intern: *puff* *cough*

Wannabe DJ: YEAH MAN, CHECK THIS OUT....ohhhhh the weed is kickin in man...

ohhhh yeah, damn son, get me some kool aid bro, i am mad thirsty and put in a pizza i got the munchies like a god damn, you know, a thing, a...

yeah man so, check this out. I heard this song the other day, its pretty good and lyrics totally speak to me bro, god damn i'm thirsty. *glug glug glug*

CRB Intern: *listens*

Wannabe DJ: YOU SEE MAN ITS A STATEMENT ON THE RICH ELITIST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND THE REGULAR PEOPLE WHO GO THROUGH THEIR LIVES LIKE IDIOTS BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID! AND THEY ARE SMOKING FAGS. GET IT? FAGS! CUZ YOUR A FAG TOO AND YOU ARE GOING TO GET SMOKED.

CRB Intern: *stares*

Wannabe DJ: YOUR COOL BRO, I DIG YOUR VIBE, GOTTA GET SOME SKANKS UP IN HERE BRO, ON THE REAL, IM MAD ITCHIN FOR SOME PLAY YOU KNOW? USE IT OR LOSE BRO. HAHAHA

CRB Intern: *nods*

Wannabe DJ: BROOOOO, THEN GET THIS SHIZZZZ, CAPTAIN MOFO KIRK TOTALLY REDID THIS SONG BRO, AND ITS EPIC AS FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK

Wannabe DJ: *puff* *puff*

Wannabe DJ: oh...oh that is the bomb....here bro, watch this *hits play*

CRB Intern: *watchs*

Wannabe DJ: im so high

CRB Intern: *nods*

Wannabe DJ: later bro

CRB Intern: *leaves*

More Evidence That We Are Going To Drink

2011-11-03T03:37:00.001-05:00

Need this to make bad decisions

There is a new study that has come out detailing how increased drinking, i.e, 6 glasses of wine or so a week, can maybe increase the risk of breast cancer in women.

Previously, it has been known that excessive alcohol use is bad for you, but, if you don't drink alot no one knew quite what the affects were...now, it shows that there may be more of a risk. Maybe. This is apparently a big deal, because there was Dr. So and So on the Today show on Wednesday morning saying that boozing is bad....So, for gods sake ladies quit yo dranking.

But, seriously, check this pull quote from the article from msnbc.com

Still, while the increased risk found in this study is real, it is quite small. Women will need to weigh this slight increase in breast cancer risk with the beneficial effects alcohol is known to have on heart heath, said Dr. Wendy Chen, of Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston. Any woman's decision will likely factor in her risk of either disease, Chen said.

No shit Dr. Chen, really? You have to weigh the decisions you make in life against the potential health risks? Well, cover me in KY and slide me into a plastic bubble because I am frightened by the potential for minimal health risks.

Oh, wait..hold on...lets read further in this fantastic scientific discovery.

And it's possible that, for some, the benefit of drinking alcohol for the heart outweighs the risks of breast cancer, Narod said. Future research into alcohol's risks and benefits may provide women with more information to make a decision, Narod said.

Narod, by the way, is also a doctor type person who contributed something to this study. Bunch of masturbatory bitchs. This nonsense has been going on for a long time, especially in concerns to the booze, but, in everything we do. Eat Vitamin D because its good for your boners....wait, no, don't do that you will get no boners. Make sure that you have flax seed oil in your omelets because you will be able to get x-ray vision...wait, no, flax seed oil causes you to only hit home runs.

If someone was going to live their lives totally healthy and follow everything a doctor said was healthy at one moment to the next, you would be jumping from one foot to the next every other week and holy christ would that be obnoxious.

We have had a million different fad diets and people saying we should eat this, don't eat that, drink this, don't drink that...etc etc. God damn man, yo, daddy likes bacon and pizza and beer. Guess what, I know this shit probably isn't good for me, but, we do eventually die and fuck it I want to enjoy it while I am here.

Thats the take away I get from this whole thing, yeah...We want to be healthy and active and not get heart attacks and ass cancer, so...maybe we won't smoke a pack a day and mainline baked potatoes.

I.e, live in moderation. More or less, seems to be what any doctor about anything could say about anything.

yo doc, i love hookers, should I ease back on the bacon?

Life is to damn frustrating to live through as it is, dealing with jobs and bills and idiot other drivers and interpersonal relationships and all that. The last thing that we are going to worry about is, "umm, am I at my limit of wine for the week vs my over all heath based on this scatter plot graph pie diagram????"

Its stupid. If I want to have a bunch of beers on a Wednesday night and write a silly CRB post, I am going to do it...it may cause headaches on Thursday, but, the hell with it...it makes us feel happy.

If there was a science that came out that stated, you will die if you drink more then 6 natty ice's in a night more then 5 nights in a row you will fucking die immediately...that may change our drinking habits, but, until then...eat a dick science.

We want to enjoy our lives and not live in constant fear of immediate health related retribution for our actions when in a year you are going to change you mind and say, "no, go ahead and eat steak every day with salt and meth butter, its good for you"

Way ahead of you doc

Morning AHHHHHHH

2011-11-02T10:31:00.002-05:00

From the old Cypress Gardens comes the New Legoland waterski show. That costume can not be fun to jump in.

Morning AHHHHHHH

2011-11-01T01:31:00.000-05:00

Vid Day Monday - Christmas Lights Edition pt 3

2011-10-31T23:59:00.003-05:00

Now that Halloween is over, its time to focus our dollars on our next holiday, Christmas, and here is another pretty nifty light show.

Vid Day Monday - Christmas Lights Edition pt 2

2011-10-31T11:51:00.001-05:00

And another one.

Whats with random trick or treating nights? I had kids coming to my house all weekend, why cant the cities agree which day trick or treating is and set the same times? I need to move away from the border of two towns.

Vid Day Monday - Christmas Lights Edition pt 1

2011-10-31T02:47:00.001-05:00

Its Halloween and you know what that means? Crazy light displays...wait...no that is Christmas...but today is October 31st...

CRB Brings the Sexy

2011-10-29T01:16:00.000-05:00

Its that time of year again, no we do not mean the end of ski season, that was a long time ago for us up here in the arctic, its time for girls to put on lingerie and call it a costume. And for the guys to take pictures and have it not be considered creepy. Ah college girls and their lack of high moral standards, so wonderful.

Are We Not Talking Enough About Zachk's Jump Question Mark

2011-10-28T13:29:00.002-05:00

It is quite possible that we haven't heard about it more or looked in the right places, but, normally, we are fairly average at keeping up with the peoples chatter about waterski events, and, we sort of think that there hasn't been enough made of Zack's record breaking jump from collegiate nationals.

194 feet off a 5, it is so awesome. Zack is one of the skiers we have been able to see in person and dude is good as hell, but, sheesh, the physics of getting that distance at that speed off that jump height is crazy. That jump is a stomp and stands on its on. As waterskiers, sure, we all tend to get bogged down in gossip and nonsense, but, give credit where its due and that jump is bitchin.

As an overall sport, waterskiing, it tends to lead to fractured reporting somewhat in that we don't always know what, where...how, why something is happening. See our post from earlier about Alex about travel.

Once we finally start getting info, digesting, something else happens that is sanctioned by some other governing body and...its virtually impossible to track down a comprehensive list of scores or know what went on or why x happened while y went on. Look, its great to hear, "Freddy crushed another one" or "Regina is crazy good", but, we already know that. Its almost like our sport makes you work extra hard to be a fan. You wouldn't fire up your computer at work on Monday and see, "Tom Brady won the pan-am football game" and wonder what the hell happened would you?

Anyways, point is, its almost as if this performance has fallen by the wayside, when it should be celebrated. Hopefully Waterski Magazine or whatever the hell else is out there put this, or Poochies on the cover. Yo, another article about entry gates in slalom or pre-turn or whatever...probably isn't necessary.

Just give our boy some love, tremendous feats happen on the reg around our sport but, it shouldn't be taken for granted, we are just in such a great time of great skiers that things need to be celebrated more.

Right Bill??

you know Bill is 'feenin' for more info

*dap*

Look At Those Waves!!

2011-10-28T09:05:00.001-05:00

My goodness, at its core surfing is one of the coolest most "in touch with nature" type sports there is...and if you have never had the chance to surf make a bee line to the airplane in your driveway and get out somewhere and experience it.

Like waterskiing, surfing, has people who are so far above in skill then the rest of us that they go out and search for more difficult obstacles, or more challanging environments or something to keep up that rush. Think of...ski fly vs regular jumping, something differnet for more juice.

In the video above, and from what we can gather, you see that the reefs below the waterline are set up in such as way that the waves are thicking...deeper, not higher, but more aggressive and with a more random way in which the waves break.

This, of course, attracts hard core surfers that want to experience this maniacal brand of surfing. They want to experiance a rush and a style of surfing they haven't experianced before that allows them the threat of danger and death while providing the rush of surfing. Think of it in terms we all know, its like...1/3 unprotected sex with a stranger, 1/3 experimental drug use and 1/3 in your own bed. I.e, you know the generalities but your in for something you have never experienced before.

Even if that amazing analagy doesn't work for you, just watch the people wipe out into the waves and look at what is coming behind them, holy lord that is that mean looking. How on earth do these dudes survive?

Well dude, sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes...well...the bear eats you.

Granola, Tuna and PBJ

2011-10-27T10:34:00.004-05:00

Our girl Alex Lauretano wrote a little piece for a blog, Girls for Sport...or G4S, talking about her travel habits, diet and how she tries to keep the proper mindset during her jet setting life.

First of all, lets get one thing straight G4S, you are treading dangerously close to CRB territory, we have allready made an acronym out of our name and that is virgin territory, fresh powder in the blog land if you will, acronym nonsense is our game.

Second, Alex mentions that she has over 69,000 miles flown this year already. That is god damn insane. Not to mention a bit juvenile, because 69...lolololol.

Maybe those of us who watch from the sidelines and cheer people and whatever don't quite understand some of the rigors that the real good skiers go through, sure, we all pack up our cars and head out to a weekend tournament to knock out a whirlybird and/or fall on a 28 off pass after shot gunning a beer because someone said we would be a pussy not to or something, but, the real good ones travel alot more then, maybe, we think about.

Now, with this travel thing in mind...Alex mentions that she packs her own food. Which, on its surface may seem a bit strange, but, it makes sense when you are a globe trotting pro skier AND member of GTF (hard to say GTF and not think DTF...but thats just us) and bringing along some food that you are comfortable with makes sense, shoot....when CRB travels we pack up some Old Crow whiskey and three boxes of cheeze its...and thats just going across state lines. From her post.

So to say the least, I try to come prepared and travel with food in my suitcase, just in case. Even when traveling in the US or Europe, the food is sometimes just different from what I’m use to and changing my diet up a lot is not something I like to do right before competing. Granola bars, tuna, and peanut butter and jelly supplies haven’t failed me yet!

No mention of coffee and taco cats?? Keanu is going to be so sad.

Keanu, you poop INSIDE the porta potty!

Unfortunately, not much in her piece applies to the majority of the CRB, as it deals with being in shape and having a healthy lifestyle and correct mental out look, and most of us tend to shade towards the chemical enhancement to fix whatever ails us.

btw, check out the picture in the article, its Alex on the platform...like her mastercraft magazine ad, maybe she just likes hanging out in the back of the boat...yo girl, come sit up front or not, no pressure...but we wonder if she wrote this post there as well. Lets see.

Wifi on the lake is wicked fast

omg omg omg omg omg, the new waterproof macbook pro. Jealous!

**Update - where we don't mess up alex's legs and ss fat guy comes by to check out the situation**