Wake Board Wednesday

This kid is a pretty damn good wakeboarder and is only 10 years old...  As long as he does not blow out his knees or become a total d-bag (like most pro.../holds tongue) he will be a power on the scene soon.

Waterski Magazine You Have My Eyeballs!

This, like many of you, was an email we just received from waterski mag where you can win gift cards if you tell them about what sort of electronics you have in your rig.

We like electronics!  Electronics are fun and mystical and work most of the time!!

Then you forget to put the cover on your boat, just one time, and shit goes haywire!

We are looking at you, and you know who you are.

"I don't know why the stereo doesn't work...or the sub, it was fine when i was done with the boat"

Anyways, we are going to enter this survey raffle thing and we are going to win this gift card...so, this summer on the lake if you see a ski boat with a FLAT SCREEN TV in place of a windsheild, you know thats ours.

/$100 gift card spent on cat toys and asian undergarments

Erika Lang is a Pretty Good Trick Skier

Erika Lang decided that she was not happy with having only 1 world record so she decided to break it again.  This girl is a machine on the water, we will see many more records from her.  If she would head over to the ODBF Trick Ski School she would be even better.  My SS and O are the best in the business.

Wakeboarding with Dolphins

A year and a half ago i was able to swim with a wild dolphin, that was an experience I will never forget.  They are very smart and playful and seem to be very inquisitive.  The woman wakeboarding in this vid will probably never forget this experience either, unless of course she fell and the dolphins attacked and ate her.  Always possible...

Vid Day Monday

Ski racing is the one water ski discipline that I never have or will participate in. Mostly because I have no interest in tearing apart my shoulder and ending up with a dead arm.  And all of the reasons shown in this vid have reinforced my plans to never try this out.

We go back to the prime of pro waterskiing with a great vid from a pro tour stop in Shreveport.  Not sure what year this is from, but there are 5 great jumpers and 2 huge crashes.  You have to love the colors and the sponsors, Ski Brendella and Body Glove on Carl's helmet...hell yea.

Disney Is Filling Our Childrens Minds With Garbage!

Typical Disney Ideology of Watereskiing

DATELINE MAY 7TH 2014

Be warned, while the internet is filled with juvenile comedy, sophomoric actions and  hedonistic pornagraphy, the CRB Research Crew (CRBRC) may have uncovered the worst perpetrator of all in a seemingly innocent video from Disney.

OH, Disney, you say, they fill our childs heads with wonder and tolerance and virtues principles.

HOG WASH.

In a you tube dot come video entitled, "Waterski Hit", if you can stand to watch it for more then 30 seconds without lighting your computer on fire and throwing it into the gaping mouth of hell where this video can burn for eternity with the rest of the sodomites, you will find a video CHOCK FULL of despicable imagry that no one should be forced to see.

Here we see what Disney believes to be the typical female form.

That is not something that women should strive for, it is a physical impossibility and will ruin any child's sense of self-worth.  Shame on Disney for perpetuating the myth that men only find women desirable if they have these unrealistic dimensions.  Just look at those thighs, there is no way that is either A. Healthy or B. be able to find properly fitting garmets.

This is incredibly dangerous!  It is illegal and could lead to serious injury.  You never operate a pleasure craft in such close proximity to other people.  This will obviously lead to children growing up believing it is ok to blatantly disregard all proper social and boating norms, not only that, but, the complete disrespect of our fine law enforcement officers.

Finally, and most shocking, is Disney's PRO-AQUATIC LIFE stance.  Any reasonable person knows that fish are gross and you should not be waterskiing anywhere there is aquatic animals.  They are to be Destroyed!

No body of water should have any living creature in it.  Only human beings should be allowed to inhabit the water.  THIS IS GODS WORD FROM ON HIGH.

Gross fish and slimey things need to be Banished To Hell!

Watch this abomination from Disney if you dare.  But be warned, its graphic, titular and obscene.

Shame on you Disney, Shame.

Roll Tide

 

Vid Day Monday

With Freddy booting a 250 last week we felt that more Freddy was the only way to go today.  So here is a vid of Freddy booting 200s on 3/4 cuts.  Dude is a beast.

Freddy Is Still The King

It has been 6 years since freddy went 247 and set the current world record.  Well yesterday as he sat on the shore of the lake and watched the solid head wind coming down the lake he decided it was time we had a more round number as the world jump record.  So he went and booted this pending world record 250 foot monster.

A Waterski Cowboy Rides Into Town - Part ONE

Smells Like Someones Trick Release Didn't Release

(horse) clop.  clop.  clop,  clop

(cowboy) ...

(horse) clop.  clop.  clop.  clop

(cowboy) ....

(horse) clop. clop....clippity clop...clop. clop

(cowboy) whoa boy, easy on the clippity.  This velvet chafes an ass like you wouldn't believe

(horse) clop.  clop.  clop.

(horse) /chafes just a little

(cowboy) /puts out pall mall on horse

(horse) clop. clop.  clop.

The Gem Salon and Waterski Ranch

(cowboy) I see the gem salon and waterski ranch off in the hither.

(cowboy) /kicks horse

(horse) lol.

(horse) clop.  clop.  clop.  clop,

(cowboy) /really kicks horse hard

(horse)  /stops

(cowboy) ....

(horse)  ....

(cowboy) sigh.  /feeds horse a chicken burrito

(horse) /fucking takes off down the trail

(cowboy/horse) /arrive at The Gem

(cowboy) /ties up horse  / walks into saloon

(cowboy) /saddles up to bar

(al swearengen) /

(cowboy) yeah, thats what I am hear for.  Run some buoys.

(al swearengen) cocksucka

(cowboy) There is no need for that, we are hear for the sole intent to run some buoys and drink whiskey

(al swearengen) why didn't you say so in the first place, here have a drink

(al swearengen) /pours SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

(al swearengen) #turnt

(cowboy) so, can you set me up with a room for a week and a few whores and some whiskey?

(al swearengen)

(horse) /does wake 540 without saddle falling off

(cowboy) /adjust cowboy hat so it has a flat brim

(cowboy) /tags instagram posts #TMT #CB

(cowboy) /looks like a dork

(horse) NEIGH!

(cowboy) your right, sorry.

(al swearengen) /wistful

(al swearengen) Don't I yearn for the days when a draw across the throat made fucking resolution.

******EVERYONE TURNS IN FOR THE NIGHT********

*****NOW ITS MORNING, NOTHING HAPPENED OVERNIGHT*****

even the picture makes us tired

(cowboy) /rolls cigarette

(horse) /chills

(al swearengen) /kills a hooker...probably....then drinks coffee

(cowboy) /walks down to the starting dock

(cowboy) /still wearing chaps for some reason

(cowboy) WHO AMONG YOU ARE WILLING TO FIGHT?  DON'T ANY OF YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO SKI FOR BLOOD?

(doc holliday)

(doc holliday) /coughs

(doc holliday) /looks bad ass

(doc holliday) I'm your huckleberry

(cowboy) /slightly taken aback

(cowboy) ...

(cowboy) ...

(cowboy) /thinks of weird old disease

(cowboy) allright.  lunger

(cowboy/doc holliday) /stare

(cowboy/doc holliday) ....

(cowboy/holiday) /adjust chaps

(doc holliday) SAY WHEN

(cowboy) jesus man, take it easy, it takes like forever to put all this ski shit on, the leg spray things and trying to get this heater shirt over my fat ass is hard!  Plus, whats with these bindings now??

(doc holliday) /is tweaking his binding setup

(doc holliday) /wasn't really listening

(horse) /twerks

(cowboy) HEY!

(doc holiday) WHAT?

(doc holliday) oh yeah...sorry bro.  lol.  gotta take a quick deuce anyways, had to much coffee and tobacco and bacon for breakfast...

(doc holliday) tell you what, lets meet up by the tree or whatever for a duel

(cowboy) dude, the lake is right here...don't be stupid

(doc holiday) ...

(jack travers) hey cowboy, you can duel anywhere, we have lots of lakes

(doc holliday) i don't

(al swearengen) SHUT THE FUCK UP

(everyone) /starts adjusting their slalom fin angles and whatever

/SCREEECH!!!!!!!

(everyone) /GAAASSSPP

(everyone) /OOOOOOOHHHHHH MMMYYYY GOOOODDDDD

(carl god damn roberge) /steps out of indy car

(carl god damn roberge) Hello everyone, its really nice to see you today.  I have heard that you have a cowboy in town that is interested in slalom blood sport

(carl god damn roberge) /looks fantastic

(carl god damn roberge) hey baby, its ok, these guys are a bunch of pushovers

(alex laurentano) /gets out of backseat of carl god damn roberges indy car

(carl and alex)

(dig dug) /breaks fourth wall

(dig dug) YOU SON OF A BITCH!!

(carl god damn roberge) /dr. manhattans dig dug into a zillion pieces and/or death

(carl god damn roberge) So, where is this cowboy that feels like he AND/OR she can take me down.  This person obviously does not understand the nature of things.  I will destroy this person

(doc holiday) in vino veritas

(carl god damn roberge) Age quod agis

(doc holiday) Credat Judaeus apella, non ego

(carl god damn roberge) Eventus stultorum magister.

(cowboy) /returns from adjusting slalom fins and/or panning for gold and/or drinking whiskey

(cowboy) In pace requiescat

(jack travers) Come on boys, we don't want trouble on the slalom course in any language

(cowboy) /turning to brenda baldwin

(cowboy) evidently carl god damn roberge is an educated man, and a decent real estate agent...now I really hate him

(everyone) /waits for the god damn boat driver to get out of bed

/SCENE: Doc Holiday and Carl God Damn Roberge and Cowboy stand on the dock waiting

/SCENE: The tow boat comes into view

/SCENE: /a blond headed driver comes into view

(cowboy) oh, now its on!!!

(doc holiday) /drinks from a flask

(doc holiday) all right all right all right

(carl god damn roberge) YOU...AGAIN..../squeezes ski handle till it breaks

**part 2 coming**