Aug 28, 2012

We Hate Fish. All Things Fishy. Pt. 2

cmon over here girl, let me sex you up right, with my face

Lets just dive right into this shall we, from National Geographic?
How's this for a head turner? A tiny new species of fish from Vietnam sports its genitalia on its noggin.
Phallostethus cuulong is only the 22nd known species of its family, Phallostethidae, all of which bear their copulatory organs just behind their mouths.
As with all Phallostethus—"penis chest" in Greek—species, the male uses its bony "priapium" to clasp a female while he inserts sperm into her urogenital opening, also located on the head, said Lynne Parenti, curator of fishes at the National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C.
For another thing, head-to-head mating is apparently "a very efficient way to do it," Parenti added. While examining preserved female priapiumfish, she has found oviducts filled with sperm, meaning almost all the eggs had been fertilized.
"There's still a lot more to discover" about Phallostethus, she added—P.cuulongis only third species found in its genus.
"It's a lovely little fish with a very complex anatomy," she said, "and I'm just delighted that we're finding more of them."
These little dick head fish are swimming around over in Vietnam and you just know that pretty soon they are going to be popping up over in America in our lakes just chillin, putting babies in other fish just by bumping heads together.

This has to be stopped.  Its bad enough we have flying Asian Carp fish flying around knocking people out and generally being creepy as hell, but, adding that to the dick head fish has to be the tipping point in our fight against the menace that is fish.

Oh sure, you say, fish are healthy to eat and maintain some balance of an eco system in our lakes and streams.  That is what some would say.

Here is the official CRB rebuttal, or CRButtal as it were:

"We here at the CRB, officially declare war on all fish, from trout to muskie to salmon to flying carps to dick head fish, it is time we rise up and rid ourselves of these creepy, slimy, probably perverted, fishy evil doers."

Side Note: On the other hand, how funny would it be if all of a sudden humans gained this weird sort of power.  Just wander up to a girl and kiss her and BOOM, babies all over the place.

Make for a really interesting scene in courtrooms around the country trying to get child support payments.

Side Note 2: how funny is the embedded video in this article entitled "The Worlds Weirdest Penis"  Must watch stuff right there.

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