Jan 27, 2012

Shopping for a Fishing Boat

Todd: eh, loogit dat over dere...a fishin context right hurr on ballsac lake next weekend, whatcha think pa?

Pa: i like trout

Todd: yea sure trout or dem salmons or dem crawfush...*spits*

Pa: gimme 10 trout and a pack a smokes when you go

Todd: its a fish tournament pa, ain't a store

Pa: you don't say...well boy you sho dynamited the nuts out yo old boat so it sanked...prolly go to town and getcha new boat win tournament. get money get trout get lesbrians.

Todd: pa, stay off the dang aol, no more pornographones for you

Pa: *aims rifle at Todd*

Todd: *gets in truck*  *cranks Brittany Spears*

Todd: *singing* I AIN'T A GIRL...AIN"T YET A WOMANS.

Todd: *arrives at boat dealership*

Ty the Sales Guy: yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo, yo, Todd my main man, the man with the plan, the man with song in your soul and dong in your..ugh..nevermind, what is going on brother from the same mother we think possibly??!!

Todd: i reckon i need me a new boat for that fishin tournament on ballsac lake nexx weekend.  i gotcha get pa 10 trouts...and no lesbrians, pa tinks dat lesbrians are on the aols and fishing boats.

Ty the Sales Guy:  *puts arm around Todd*

Ty the Sales Guy:  Todd...bro...cuz...son maybe...i gotta tell you a secret...*whispers*..i dont know if i can do this...but, we got something here that may just blow your godamn jeans clear off your assbones..and won't be more then a little bit of money/moonshine/incest.

Ty the Sales Guy: *goes out to back of shop* Feast your eyes on this!!


Todd: aye..old up..will my dawgs fit in dere?

Ty the Sales Guy: Your Dawgs??  I thought you hated colored people?

Todd: Dogs.  like, pooches.  dogs.  D A W G S.  *Whistles* here boys

Dawgs: Bark.  Ruff.  Howl.  Drool.  *dogs try and get into the boat, fall out*

Todd: Nah, ain't gonna work.  need somthun bigger en fastar.  y'all got somthun like dat?

Ty the Sales Guy: Something bigger huh?  You need some size?!?!?!?!

Todd: yuh-huh

Ty the Sales Guy: You need something wit SPEED??!?!?!?!

Todd: yuh-huh

Ty the Sales Guy: You need something to get you some wet lesbrians????

Todd: huh?

Ty the Sales Guy: Check this shit out son!!

Ty the Sales Guy: This bad boy will get you to the hole quicker, make them fish drop them panties boy!!  YEE HAA...its got the new for 2002 skullfucker gas injection system,  gas mileage and the environment is for the queers, this dumps straight unleaded gasoline directly onto the motor for even MORE performance and fire!  Put Kerosene in there, put crude oil, it don't matter, shit will light on fire and you will go faster!

Ty the Sales Guy: Talk to me Todd, is this not what you want...neigh...what you NEED to bend those fish over the barrel and shoot em???  With your Dong?????

Todd: yuh huh.

Ty the Sales Guy: Lets sign you up boy, you will be getting a big booty of trouts in no time!

Todd: *forks over cash*

Todd: Pa! come out hear, loogit the new boat we gots to catch all them trouts in the tournament at ballsac lake.

Pa: whazzat boy? cannya see im trying to eat dis moonshine?

Todd: na pa, Ty gots me a great deal i is gunna win dat dere tournament and get you all the trouts and smokes you can troutsmoke.

Pa: sounds good boy, lemme see your new fangled boat.

Pa: *gets out of rocking chair*

Todd: *gets out a beer*

Pa: *opens screen door*

Todd: Pa, you er right about dem lesbrians


  1. wait...lesbrians come with fishing boats?
    /buys bass boat
    What do you mean I have to buy a trout fishing boat. Do they even make those?
    F this

  2. trout fishing boats? yeah, bayliners.

    btw, i think the lesbrians are using off brand cleaning products on todds new boat.

  3. they are going to wreck the gel coat. Trout Fishing Boat LLC products only on my trout boat

  4. trout sandwiches, trout pizza, trout boats.


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