Oct 4, 2011

Welcome To The Big Show

**Studio 3 on Lot 4 of Boathouse Networks**

Director: Places everyone...OK, Jeff, Cris...You guys are live in 3...2...

Cris: You are LIVE and welcome to Waterski Daily where Jeff and I douse you with all the waterski news of the day, what is good my neighbor??!??

Jeff: and a good day to you to you to friend-o, famous Greek philosopher Hypatia once said, "Life is an unfoldment, and the further we travel the more truth we can comprehend. To understand the things that are at our door is the best preparation for understanding those that lie beyond" and that is our goal on the Daily, give you the truth.

Cris: Right on man, dropping the education on us today I see.

Cris: /looks at camera 2

Cris: First up on our space log for today is Regina Jaquess, who, reports are saying broke the womens slalom world record running two buoys at 41 off this past weekend in a top secret location and only now are reports leaking out about this tremendous feat.

Jeff: Thats right Cris, Regina has been one of the top skiers in our sport for a long time and now it appears has reached the pinacle of womens slalom with this feat.  For more on this story as it develops lets go to our reporter Dave Goode who spoke with Regina by phone.   Dave?

Dave: Thats right guys, Picasso once said that "action is the foundational key to all success"  Picasso was, rumor has it, some what of a drunkard, but, in this case he was 100% correct.  Regina is the women of action today as she re-asserted herself atop the womens slalom world, I just recently was able to get a few minutes with her on the phone, here is what she had to say...

Dave:  Pretty awesome huh?  Well, there you have it, back to Cris and Jeff in the studio

Jeff: Thanks Dave, quite a performance at that top secret location huh?  You could, if you looked through the windows of those houses, see people going crazy!! Possibly making coffee or showering!!

Cris: That is true, on prowaterskitalk.com it was reported that ODBF from the CRB was sitting in a tree like that guy from Back To The Future peeping in on a women who was sitting in her bathrobe making a PB&J for her kid.

Jeff: what a perv

Cris: haha, no kidding!

Jeff: /high five

Cris: /high five

Jeff: BOO YA

Cris: Moving along, we have a special feature on the Daily today, moving the world of collegiate skiing, we have the honor to pick a wild card team to get the last entry to the national collegiate tournament, lets discuss what will be taking place here Jeff.

Jeff: That is right Cris, this is the special event where we pick a team from a bunch of other teams for the right to go to the Collegiate Nationals at Bennetts in Louisiana, and let me tell you that place is the cats pajamas.  The gentleman's pea coat, the hob-nobiest of martini snifters...I just made that last one up.

Cris: right you are Jeff, and just so we are clear, Hope College is not allowed to compete this year for fear of their destructive path may cause the mental collapse of every other skiers competitive nature and or ruin their ability to procreate in any natural or biblical sense.

Jeff: It was written many moons ago that Hope College has such a powerful inertia within the collegiate ski realm that if they were so inclined, they could put on their wetsuits and jump helmets and defeat the 1945 Harvard football team in a tournament of mixed doubles tennis!!

Cris: Right you are Jeff

Cris: /looks at camera 1

Cris: So, it has been a great season for all the schools involved, so, before we continue we must say congrats to all teams for making it to this point, but, as you know there is only one school that we can choose for the honor of going to nationals.  There have been some great seasons from collegiate teams such as the University of Iowa, Missori State, Grand Valley State, Georgia Tech, Univeristy of Georgia, San Diego, Pine View Tech, and the University of Washington.

Jeff: Pine View Tech?

Cris: Yeah, thats right by Oak View...nevermind, jokes son!

Jeff: Lets get right down to it, the information is coming in as we speak, lets check the results...

Cris: We really should have Macbooks for this, the processing power and graphics capability is so much greater, I hear the CRB is powered by mac and that is one professional outfit they run over there.

Jeff: Right you are Cris, never the less, it looks like we have it!  And this years wildcard entry is....

Jeff and Cris:  The UNIVERSITY OF IOWA!!!

Cris: For instant reaction lets go live to the University of Iowa campus

Rykert: Thanks Jeff and Cris, as the popular waterski blogger and proud graduate of Iowa Auburn.  War Eagle! Cam Newton! I want to say we are stoked to be going to Nationals this year, here are some of the images from around campus after the announcement.
WOOOO!!!  YEAH!!!!



Rykert: so there you have the scene, its a festive atmosphere here and it looks like the student body is in for a long night of partys and actions that may or may not cause some regret in the morning!  Rykert and Nola OUT!!

Cris: Thanks, well Jeff that certainly is an amazing scene on campus, it is amazing what a ski team can do to bring a campus together in celebration of all things waterski, looks to be a fun night.

Jeff: No kidding, hope all the bars are stocked up on cheeze its and natty ice, its going to be a long night.

Cris: Welp, that will do it here on Waterski Daily, thanks for tuning in.  Up next we bring you live coverage of the Camel Open Ski Race Event presented by Ford, Miller Lite and Agresto Fireworks live from Dubai with your host Lauryn Eagle and Charlie Steiner.

Jeff: Have a great evening everyone and remember, as Louis L'Amour said, "Knowledge is like money: to be of value it must circulate, and in circulating it can increase in quantity and, hopefully, in value."

Director: annnd we're clear!  Good show everyone!

Cheers to Jeff and Cris!


  1. Two things:
    1. Rykert went to Auburn
    2. You guys rule.

  2. Gah, Auburn. Shoot. will fix it

  3. Anonymous5:24 PM

    That studio could use some upgrades. Where are the millions in media dollars this sport creates?

  4. Good thinking, check this out.


  5. Anonymous10:01 PM

    Tha t works!

  6. Correction for Cris's correction: I have a degree form Auburn University AND the University of Iowa. More importantly, I skied for Auburn ('94-'98, War Damn wet eagle!). I currently ski with the Iowa team, as I live in the Iowa City area.
    So Cris, Dig Dug, like quantum physics, you are both right and both wrong. Deep, huh. My next post (SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT, SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT!) will be about the mixed emotions over the Hawkeye wildcard triumph.

  7. two degrees huh? well la de da your heiness!!!


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