Mar 2, 2011

Bypassing the SkiMasterBu

One of our ongoing jokes around the CRB is that we ski behind the companies SkiMasterBu, which is a mash up of, fairly obviously, a Ski Nautique, Mastercraft and a Malibu, but, this is silly.

No, no, we barely ski...its more of a domination of the water when we strap it on.  It took the best of all three companies to make a boat that could handle our awesome.  Wonder why you haven't ever seen CRB at The Masters or Malibu or Moomba?

Tell the people who put those tournaments together to make a jump that we won't destroy upon impact, or a slalom course that is at least 90 buoys long, at 95 off at 50 MPH and then maybe.  Otherwise, we will ski in our minds.

Never mind that, it doesn't matter, a decent NEW ski boat is now so expensive that most people don't even bother anymore pretending to think they can afford one, buy one, enjoy one, or support them.  And, YO, we want to!!  We have poured over our waterski magazine new boat tester issue like crazy, we love to debate the boats, what we want, what we would get if we win the lottery (odbf = a bottle of 75 year old scotch, dig dug = a jump shot, life jacket = pants, minion = heroin), feels out of our reach.

There is no hard feelings, its just facts.  We don't have the money, or ability, or foolishness?? to drop that much money on a boat we get to use only 13 months out of the year, and would cost us the ability to afford a vehicle to actually tow it.

At the CRB offices today we were chatting about Harley Davidson motorcycles, and the battle they face in gaining traction in the current market.  People view them as either 1) loud ass motorcycle gang bikes or 2) loud ass motorcycle gang bikes with that are trapped in the 80s .

Both seem to be valid, i.e, no ABS, no traction control, no toys to play with while driving, etc etc, and they are god damn expensive.

Thats the mindset right?  Admit it, when you think of Harley you think of either Sons of Anarcy (bad ass) or the god damn bikes that are so fucking loud when they drive by you think the guy driving has a negative sized dick.  Its awful.  These things are loud, have a reputation as being unrealiable, are loud as hell and are expensive.  Not a good combo.

Yet, here we are with the ski boat market where they have all the technology in the world, they ride like cadillacs or sensitive lover (your mom) and yet, they are so expensive that it doesn't matter.

Point being, our outside view points of a market are X and reality maybe Y, but, something got us to think X, which makes Y moot.  Meaning, Y may be correct, but, X is our reality.  Boats and Harleys are expensive and no matter if we get "value" out of them, that initial cost is so great, it eliminates any conceivable assumed value.

For boats, a good ride, a nice wake, a bitchen stereo, a cool look..etc..great, but, its 65,000 for a Response or a prostar or whatever nautique is calling their boats (syndicate??).

So yeah, all that stuff piled in the boat is great, but, for twice what we pay for our cars, it better come with free drinks and oral sex on demand or its not worth it.  For Harleys, the look, the image, the ride, the respect, it doesnt matter.  Its 15-20 grand for something that is not a daily driver, you better offer more or else we will just...well...we will just bypass you.  Thats your conundrum.

Yet, there is reason for optimism, at least thats William Sisson in says in a recent column.  Its a top-10 thing as to why sales of boats will improve, and we don't think that market wise it technicaly is about ski boats, more about bigger lake/ocean type boats, yachts, etc, but, we think the generalities apply to our market, as our boats are about as expensive now anyways. Here is the top ten part.
So here are the 10 indicators Dammrich says point to better new-boat sales this year.
1. Improving consumer confidence. 
2. Consumer spending up most of the last 18 month 
3. Light-vehicle sales strong and growing 
4. RV sales growing. 
5. GDP has grown the last six quarters. Projections for 2011 GDP growth range from 3 to 4 percent. Fantastic. New-boat and engine sales do well when GDP is growing at 3 percent or above. 
6. Dealer inventories perhaps at the lowest level ever. 
7. Used-boat inventory drying up. 
8. Used-boat prices rising (as a result of No. 7), making new boats more attractive. 
9. Late-model used boats won't be available in the preowned market. Why? We didn't build them. We only built 80,000 boats in 2009 and 130,000 in 2010. 
10. Manufacturers are introducing new models with new features and accessories, and these aren't available in the preowned market. 
"We should be turning soon," says Dammrich, who believes recovery is going to come sooner and stronger in 2011 than people think. "Hope I am right." 
So do we.
From our perspective, the only two on this list that really make sense are the 4th and 5th bullet points, RV sales are growing, meaning people are putting their money into LARGE toys and if the 3% rule applies that means good things as well.

However, the rest of the points are straight conjecture at best, and foolish at worst.

Consumer confidence, has nothing to do with the boating industry, its based on the economy and personal feelings.  Beaten dogs can be taken in, fed, loved, but, will cower when a hand is raised.  Confidence may be going up, but, the threat is there and money will be tight.  No need for a quad-tower wake-board boat yet.

Same with spending, you tighten up you're wallet, when you feel you can ease back a bit, you buy a new fridge, or repave the driveway or put a new roof on, things you skimp on for so long you can fix...not get a boat.

6,7,8,9 are all the same.  Less used boats, higher prices, prices rising, late-model boats not available.  Our economic issues have not happened yesterday, its been going on for years.  The reason there are not more boats is boat companies couldn't make them, people didn't buy them and if they did you know damn well they are keeping them.  Not about to trade in a 07 Supra for a new one, when your upside down on your payments, the boats are obnoxious expensive and nothing really has changed that much...right?

and 10 is simply false.  New features are coming every year, it makes no difference if it was switching from carbs to injection in the 90's, or cassette to cd to mp3 to sataliite/ipod integration things are constant.  Thats what aftermarket companies are for, to fix up your stuff when you cant afford the new.

Look, we like to bag on boat companies for the prices of their boats, but, its not in anger, its just in realization.  We are, the CRB, not the target market.  We are just avid skiers who love to get out and get wet, tear shit up and have a good time.  Obscenely brand loyal and easy marks for companies to help spread love.  But, we only are middle-class folks, you know, the ones that democrats believe are all gone and republicans dont believe exist?  Yeah, thats us.  (cmon, that was a pretty good sentence!!)

Maybe we were spoiled by our parents who bought these boats back in the day so we could go drink and float and fornicate all day long and now realize it takes work to get that money, or maybe the escalating price of boats outstripped our earning power?

Guess what though, it doesnt matter anymore!!

We have moved beyond that realm of thinking.  We have decided, as a CRB collective, that we will do something about it.  We won't be trying to save our pennies anymore in hopes to find a 92 prostar with rotten floors, no no, we are going to change the damn paradigm, shift it!  Put a bluetooth earpiece thing in its douchy ear and crank up our subs at the gas station...

You:  "but how will you pull off this whatever it is you are doing oh powerful CRB??"
CRB: "haha"
CRB: /brandishes samurai sword
CRB: /eats many shrimp cocktails.  heavy on the cock
CRB: /wait..what?
CRB: "check this shit out....../opens website"

BOOM!!!!  Missouri boat builder up for sale

Thats right people!  CRB is getting into the boat building business!!  You think your POS ski boat can handle our brand of crazy! Your wrong!

Ever seen a ski boat with a diesel motor and a gatling gun trained directly at the skier?  DOUBTFUL!!!

Ever seen a ski boat with a tri-hull and seven 50 horsepower motors?? DOUBTFUL!!!

Ever seen a ski boat with tracking fins, on the drivers seat??? DOUBTFUL!!!!

Ever seen a ski boat with not only a built in cooler but, that is ONLY a cooler?  DOUBTFUL!!!!!

Ever seen a ski boat that explodes when you do a whirlybird?? DOUBTFUL!!!!!!!

Ever seen a ski boat that folds up into the shape of a gay dragon??  DOUBTFUL!!!

Ever seen a ski boat that can also be used as a warming lubrication for sex???  NOW YOU HAVE!!!


Yes, you want the perfect double up?  done.  Best slalom wake ever?  Done.  Explosive power for your jump set?  be honest, you don't need it.  You aren't Freddy.  Can float for hours on end so you can drink and it won't sink!?!?!  MAYBE!!!

This is a win-win-lose-win for us all.  WIN = affordable, WIN = Skiable, Lose = your inhibitions, WIN = unexplained pregnancies!!

The time has come people to step out from the shadows, to stand up for what is right and good in this world, you need to make your voice heard, you need to become part of the movement.

Its time.   CRB Ski Boat.  THE CRB 209.  YOU NOW HAVE 20 SECONDS TO COMPLY!!

1 comment:

  1. I will buy whatever Ed 209 tells me to buy. Then I will hide behind other people.


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