Dec 7, 2010

Lake Trout Carry Out - Bad Santa Edition

Hey!  Its December!  That means Christmas is almost here! Santa and presents and basketball and seeing your family and falling asleep on the couch!

Good times!  As we at the CRB prepare for Christmas we are probably going to have a shopping guide or a top-ten list or some other such nonsense.  Actually, don't count on any of that, we are if nothing else consistent in our inconsistency.  Like your moms gravy.

Anyways, here are a few of the things that we have talked about at the CRB compound today, including a story so god damn asinine that it will probably make you want to hug your local mall Santa.

  • "They're not going to take this house," says Ms. Campbell. "I intend to stay in this house and maintain it as my residence until I die." Which is ironic seeing as she hasn't paid a dime for it since 1985. (WSJ)
  • Man legally changes his name to "Captain Awesome", however, bank is not cool with his signature being an arrow, a smiley face and another arrow.  (SFgate)
  • Popular Santa is fired from Santa job because of telling a barely off-color joke to the parents of a kid who will grow up to be a pussy.  (SFgate)
  • An interesting look at the Christmas seasons most popular gadgets through time.  Transformers through iPads.  Never heard of a Tamogotchi, but, it has to be the cause of some seizures.  (Yahoo)
  • The Walking Dead on AMC broke all kinds of viewership records for its season finale.  Hey all you Mad Men fans yakking on and on about how great that show is, it just got curb stomped by a show about Zombies.  *takes axe to forhead*.  Ok Ok, sorry, sheesh.  Mad Men is great too.  *eats flesh* (AV Club)
  • Its getting near the end of the year, which means tons of year-end wrap up lists.  We are cool with any list of best albums that includes Neil Young, but, especially this year after he dropped Le Noise on our ungrateful ass's, allthough, it does have Kanye West at #1.  (Antiquiet)
To follow up on that Santa thing from before, read that damn article.  This dude has been doing this job for like 15 years, people all love him and people make the pilgramage to that specific location to see this guy.  Kids love him, parents love him and he takes what he is doing seriously.
Toomey - who stays in Oroville most summers and winters in San Francisco while he does the kiddie-on-the-knee gig - said he'd never had complaints before about the joke, which he saves for the occasional grown-up who visits him.

"When I ask the older people who sit on my lap if they've been good and they say, 'Yes,' I say, 'Gee, that's too bad,' " Toomey said Monday.

"Then, if they ask why Santa is so jolly, I joke that it's because I know where all the naughty boys and girls live."
That joke is so harmless that he may have well wrapped it in cotton balls.

How someone could possibly be offended by such a joke, and not just offended where you think, "well, maybe that wasn't the best place for that joke" but, offended enough to go and complain in a clear attempt to get this person fired is unconscionable.

If these peoples sensibilities were that fragile, they shouldn't wander through a Macy's anyways, there are bra's hanging on racks and pictures of models wearing varieties of undergarments that the majority of everyone in the world in their right mind understands.

Grown ups tell jokes, many of us tell incredibly obscene jokes, we do know the time and place for such things, but, such a simple joke is not a fireable offense.

Its just astonishing the knee jerk over-reaction by the parents, who were sitting on santa's lap btw (what are you six years old?), but that of Macy's as well, to totally disreagard the good will built up over 15 years, all the happy kids and happy parents and happy everyone, is stunning.

Hopefully this situation gets rectified and Macy's hires this dude back and makes a public apoligy that they over-reacted to a couple of dip-shits who I find it suprising even had kids as I am sure are probably offended by even the idea of putting his thingy going into her who-ha.  Oral probably scares them to death.  Must have been a great honeymoon.


  1. youve gotta love political correctness

  2. I think you missed the best part. It sounds like these 2 winners didn't even have kids. They were just there to visit santa themselves. He said that he saves that joke for when adults come to visit him.

    Let's hope for the sake of humanity and laughter, these two don't reproduce.

  3. My favorite Christmas song would probably give those two a stroke.

    So those two people (older than 15) want to sit on a Mall Santa's lap, and HE's the creepy one? WTF?


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