Scene: Bedroom. Its middle afternoon. Arcade Fire's "Crown of Love" is playing softly. An open beer on table. 1/2 assembled Malibu on floor. Steve walks in, seeing us perplexedly going over schematics of elaborate contraption.
Steve: "Hey, we need to talk."
Us: "You bet, whats up?"
Steve: "There are something I have been thinking about and, while I have been trying to ignore my feelings, i am not sure I can do that anymore."
Us: "Totally, I know what you are saying, I have totally started listening to Rhiannas's new album as well, it deals very well AND poignently with the process of and emotional issues that come with a break up, especially as one as messy and violent as hers"
Steve: "haha...um, yeah, speaking of which....
Us: "dude! you gotta admit that the song "hard" is really a great track huh?"
Steve: "Will you listen to me?? Quit it with that shit about Rhianna or whoever the hell your crush of the moment is. Its really annoying!"
Us: "whoa dude, sorry, do you want some chicken noodle soup or something? I know being the head of the USA Waterski empire can be occasionally emotionally taxing, but, your doing a great job"
Us: "OMG, I totally forgot, I drank a few of your beers out of the cooler, sorry, I replaced them with some Fat Tires, I know you really like those...hahahaha, even though your cooler was 'Locke'd', get it??"
Steve: "yeah, so....I am not sure if this is working"
Us: "The Locke on the cooler? I was thinking about that, I went out to the store and got one of those bad-ass bike locks to replace it."
Steve: "CHRIST! Its not about the damn cooler, and whats with you and that anyways? Its beer this, cheez-its that, smoked turkey cold cuts, do you do anything but drink, eat, waterski and masterubate?"
Us: "whoa, let me rub your shoulders, you seem stressed"
Steve: "Stop it. Look, Its over, I am leaving."
Us: "where you going? Down to the new bar that just opened up? I heard they have great chicken wings and a special on coors light buckets on tuesdays! Doesnt that sound great?"
Steve: "no, thats not what I meant, I meant, I am leaving you...all of this, its not working, I have found someone else who will take care of me better then you can"
Us: " :( "
Us: "buh buh...(sniff)...I dont understand...what did i do?"
Steve: "nothing, you did nothing wrong, its just that...look, I dont think i can give you what you need to be happy."
Us: "what the hell does that mean?"
Steve: "Look, I have been thinking about this for a month or so..."
Us: "A MONTH!! What the hell, and you are just bringing this up now? What gives?"
Steve: "I thought my feelings would change with time, but, they just havent"
Us: "There is someone else isn't there???"
Steve: "well, sort of yeah..."
Us: "Where, WHO IS THAT BITCH!"
Steve: "Its Field Hockey"
Us: "ummmmmmm, really? Field Hockey?"
Us: "yeah...ok. Wow, we must really suck for you to go to Field Hockey.."
Steve: "its not like that, you get so damn emo sometimes."
Us: "JUST...JUST....JUST GO Damn you...you cruel cruel temptress..."
Steve: "okey dokes. Later"
Us: /cracks beer
Us: / (to be determined)
Can I have his Fat Tires that you got him?ReplyDelete
You can cry on my shoulder if you need to.
Have agreed with your musical tastes up to now but..........woof!ReplyDelete
not diggin on the arcade fire huh? don't worry, its just music to set the mood. we will make a come back soon. its ok. we feel ya.ReplyDelete