Dec 3, 2009

Its not you, its me. :(

Scene: Bedroom.  Its middle afternoon.  Arcade Fire's "Crown of Love" is playing softly.  An open beer on table.  1/2 assembled Malibu on floor.  Steve walks in, seeing us perplexedly going over schematics of elaborate contraption. 

Steve:  "Hey, we need to talk."

Us: "You bet, whats up?"

Steve: "There are something I have been thinking about and, while I have been trying to ignore my feelings, i am not sure I can do that anymore."

Us: "Totally, I know what you are saying, I have totally started listening to Rhiannas's new album as well, it deals very well AND poignently with the process of and emotional issues that come with a break up, especially as one as messy and violent as hers"

Steve: ", yeah, speaking of which....

Us: "dude!  you gotta admit that the song "hard" is really a great track huh?"

Steve: "Will you listen to me??  Quit it with that shit about Rhianna or whoever the hell your crush of the moment is.  Its really annoying!"

Us: "whoa dude, sorry, do you want some chicken noodle soup or something?  I know being the head of the USA Waterski empire can be occasionally emotionally taxing, but, your doing a great job"

Steve: "ugh......"

Us: "OMG, I totally forgot, I drank a few of your beers out of the cooler, sorry, I replaced them with some Fat Tires, I know you really like those...hahahaha, even though your cooler was 'Locke'd', get it??"

Steve: "yeah, so....I am not sure if this is working"

Us: "The Locke on the cooler?  I was thinking about that, I went out to the store and got one of those bad-ass bike locks to replace it."

Steve: "CHRIST!  Its not about the damn cooler, and whats with you and that anyways?  Its beer this, cheez-its that, smoked turkey cold cuts, do you do anything but drink, eat, waterski and masterubate?"

Us: "whoa, let me rub your shoulders, you seem stressed"

Steve:  "Stop it.  Look, Its over, I am leaving."

Us: "where you going?  Down to the new bar that just opened up?  I heard they have great chicken wings and a special on coors light buckets on tuesdays!  Doesnt that sound great?"

Steve: "no, thats not what I meant, I meant, I am leaving you...all of this, its not working, I have found someone else who will take care of me better then you can"

Us:  " :( "

Us: "buh buh...(sniff)...I dont understand...what did i do?"

Steve: "nothing, you did nothing wrong, its just that...look, I dont think i can give you what you need to be happy."

Us: "what the hell does that mean?"

Steve: "Look, I have been thinking about this for a month or so..."

Us: "A MONTH!!  What the hell, and you are just bringing this up now?  What gives?"

Steve: "I thought my feelings would change with time, but, they just havent"

Us:  "There is someone else isn't there???"

Steve: "well, sort of yeah..."


Steve: "Its Field Hockey"

Us: "ummm....."

Us: "ummmmmmm, really?  Field Hockey?"

Steve: "yeah"

Us: "yeah...ok.  Wow, we must really suck for you to go to Field Hockey.."

Steve: "its not like that, you get so damn emo sometimes."

Us: "JUST...JUST....JUST GO Damn cruel cruel temptress..."

Steve: "okey dokes.  Later"

Us: /cracks beer
Us: /sniffles
Us: / (to be determined)


  1. Anonymous7:52 AM

    Can I have his Fat Tires that you got him?
    You can cry on my shoulder if you need to.

  2. Anonymous7:55 AM

    Have agreed with your musical tastes up to now but..........woof!

  3. not diggin on the arcade fire huh? don't worry, its just music to set the mood. we will make a come back soon. its ok. we feel ya.


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