May 27, 2009

Cheesin!

The terrorists won

If Mr. Locke keeps this up, the CRB Staff is going to start thinking that maybe we are dating.

In the latest Exec Report Mr. Kool-Aid himself again threw the CRB some love. Which, we accept with the voracious appetite that Charles Manson accepted free steaks from those weirdo girls that lived on his ranch.

BTW. Your "drinking the Kool-Aid" line? No, we don't play that way, simply the best scotch available, thats how we roll. Get on board.

However, given our nature, we had to get after that post for the motivational quotes. We have those all over the CRB offices, but, c'mon, its sooo...cheesy, but, the thing is, though, its tough to criticize or poke fun when they are showing you love.

WAIT!!!

Its an evil plot to soften us up!!!! You don't want our razor sharp wit and wicked strong tongue lashings again huh? HUH?

You Win! We give!! Here is a picture of a cute bunny!!!

Oh My God! Its nibbling on a blanket too! Jesus, We are going to buy a Volvo and a hybrid boat.

...but whats with this?
I don’t know who owns it, writes for it, provides the graphics or anything (I think it is a secret society in either Wisconsin or Minnesota). CRB is an offbeat, often profane, irreverent, clever, and funny site that is not for everyone. But, it is a hoot as it twists and turns throughout water sports. By all means, this is not a site for a serious technocrat or those not interested in the poking of fun.
Well now...profane? Sure we drop some F bombs from time to time, but, a secret society? Like the Skulls? haha. no way, you crazy.
We cook your meals. We haul your trash. We connect your calls. We drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.
Damn you Tyler.

No, we just hope people can chuckle along at the CRB nonsense, regardless of who we are, where we are or what we are.

Rowboat did come out as Natalie Portman, and he/she doesn't work here anymore.

Anyways, lets break this down point by point.

1) I don’t know who owns it: Um, the google owns us.

2) writes for it: A consortium of highly paid staffers, interns and posse people. Or as we have mentioned a million times, the CRB Staff.

3) provides the graphics or anything: The google, and photoshop, and most dear to our heart? MS PAINT. WHATS UP RYKERT?

4) (I think it is a secret society in either Wisconsin or Minnesota): Not even close. and not that far away. Right in your backyard and not even in your neighborhood. We are located in Al Gores driveway. on the interwebs.

5) CRB is an offbeat: We hope so, my goodness, if anyone takes the thunder we bring serious, there would be some bodily harms.

6) often profane: Of course.

6) irreverent: We think that you are referring to something like Pontiac or public pools, or Shaq, or condoms, or.... hahahaha....Irreverent...not irrelevant. our mistake!

7) clever:
Thats the best compliment we could ever receive, that's what we aim for.

8) and funny site that is not for everyone:
Thank God!

9) But, it is a hoot as it twists and turns throughout water sports:
*curtsy*

10) By all means, this is not a site for a serious technocrat or those not interested in the poking of fun:
Truer words have never been spoken, our job, in the contract we signed, it states,

and we quote,

"/cock punch"

So, there ya go! Thanks for the love Steve!

3 comments:

Speak now. Give us your tired your hungry your weak. We will make them into CRB Staff

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