Mar 5, 2008

Sleazy Jim's Waterski Emporium

***Outside Strip Mall***

Douchebag: /exits Jeep Wrangler
/Adjusts hat
/Shaves lines in face
/Pops collar
/Enters "Sleazy Jim's Waterski Emporium and Waxing Studio"

Sleazyjim: Hey there young fella, nice day out there huh, HAHAHAHAHA
/slaps douchebag on back
What are ya looking fer today? Oh I know...You look like you could use a nice new Wakeboard huh? Is that what you kids these days are doing? HAHAHAHA.. So Extreme!!

Douchebag: sup bra...pssh...yo yo, check it, i'z need me some shit fo da lake, ya feel?

/Acts like a fucking dick

Douchebag2: psshheeaaahh.

/wanton disregard for social norms

shit bra, we need some faaking HOES...knowwhatimma sayin...the fuck is this shit....

ArmCandie: TEE HEE!! OH OH OH!! I totally need a wax!


SleazyJim: so whatta we looky for here boys? Whatta sort of price range we looky for? We have a great-a new wakeboards by the Hyperflexy if you in the market.

DoucheBag: Lissen here bra...i ain't no for that pussy wake shit...i needz me a ski to rip the SHIT outta the water...I GET FUCKING PUMPED!!!

/roid rage


DoucheBag2: Yo, calm yo self marky...makin the hoes nervous with all that riff raff..

/turns to sleazyjim

yo bra, pshhh...whats the haps.

/does gay hand shake thing

Money no object fo a playa, what ya got to get us some MAD pussy?

SleazyJim: Now you speakin the SleazyJim language, I got something here you will both love, its long and hard and you put the lube here and slide right in.

DoucheBag2: /looks at DoucheBag


DoucheBag: /looks at DoucheBag2


ArmCandie: Tee he....what?

CLERK: Fuck I need some cheetos.

/opens bag of cheetos


SleazyJim: So, whatta say boys, check it out...this is the top-o-the line there slalomy ski, got silver on it and two shoes fo ya feet.

/shows product

SleazyJim: Whatta ya think boys

DoucheBag: Shit ya bra, that is mad tight son!

/pulls money clip from pocket

/and hair gel and rophynol

/and 3 year old unused condom

DoucheBag2: GEAAHHH, thats whip is blazin, shit, get some FINE ass hoes with that!

/pulls wad of singles from pocket

/drops herpes and spray-on tanner on floor

ArmCandie: /picks up herpes

SleazyJim: oh, good decision there fellers, lets see, with tax and know uncle sam needs his cut, that will be,
/type type type type type

$1,280 will that be cash or your moms credit card?

DoucheBag: the fuck son, we ain't got that kind a skrilla, wha ya take us fa punk bitches?

DoucheBag2: shit bitch, f-this noize...mafucca is wac, yo you played son...

lets bounce

tee hee...ok!

/collects additional case of crabs at door


/does bong rip

1 comment:

Speak now. Give us your tired your hungry your weak. We will make them into CRB Staff

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