Mar 5, 2008

Sleazy Jim's Waterski Emporium

***Outside Strip Mall***

Douchebag: /exits Jeep Wrangler
/Adjusts hat
/Shaves lines in face
/Pops collar
/Enters "Sleazy Jim's Waterski Emporium and Waxing Studio"

Sleazyjim: Hey there young fella, nice day out there huh, HAHAHAHAHA
/slaps douchebag on back
What are ya looking fer today? Oh I know...You look like you could use a nice new Wakeboard huh? Is that what you kids these days are doing? HAHAHAHA.. So Extreme!!

Douchebag: sup bra...pssh...yo yo, check it, i'z need me some shit fo da lake, ya feel?

/Acts like a fucking dick

Douchebag2: psshheeaaahh.

/wanton disregard for social norms

shit bra, we need some faaking HOES...knowwhatimma sayin...the fuck is this shit....

ArmCandie: TEE HEE!! OH OH OH!! I totally need a wax!


SleazyJim: so whatta we looky for here boys? Whatta sort of price range we looky for? We have a great-a new wakeboards by the Hyperflexy if you in the market.

DoucheBag: Lissen here bra...i ain't no for that pussy wake shit...i needz me a ski to rip the SHIT outta the water...I GET FUCKING PUMPED!!!

/roid rage


DoucheBag2: Yo, calm yo self marky...makin the hoes nervous with all that riff raff..

/turns to sleazyjim

yo bra, pshhh...whats the haps.

/does gay hand shake thing

Money no object fo a playa, what ya got to get us some MAD pussy?

SleazyJim: Now you speakin the SleazyJim language, I got something here you will both love, its long and hard and you put the lube here and slide right in.

DoucheBag2: /looks at DoucheBag


DoucheBag: /looks at DoucheBag2


ArmCandie: Tee he....what?

CLERK: Fuck I need some cheetos.

/opens bag of cheetos


SleazyJim: So, whatta say boys, check it out...this is the top-o-the line there slalomy ski, got silver on it and two shoes fo ya feet.

/shows product

SleazyJim: Whatta ya think boys

DoucheBag: Shit ya bra, that is mad tight son!

/pulls money clip from pocket

/and hair gel and rophynol

/and 3 year old unused condom

DoucheBag2: GEAAHHH, thats whip is blazin, shit, get some FINE ass hoes with that!

/pulls wad of singles from pocket

/drops herpes and spray-on tanner on floor

ArmCandie: /picks up herpes

SleazyJim: oh, good decision there fellers, lets see, with tax and know uncle sam needs his cut, that will be,
/type type type type type

$1,280 will that be cash or your moms credit card?

DoucheBag: the fuck son, we ain't got that kind a skrilla, wha ya take us fa punk bitches?

DoucheBag2: shit bitch, f-this noize...mafucca is wac, yo you played son...

lets bounce

tee hee...ok!

/collects additional case of crabs at door


/does bong rip

1 comment:

Speak now. Give us your tired your hungry your weak. We will make them into CRB Staff

Its to Dang Cold!

Enjoy this weather you hot piece of ass! Dispatch from the CRB weather desk Guess what???  ITS COLDER THEN A WELL DIGGERS ASS OUT THERE KIDS...