Mar 6, 2007

Show Directors Everywhere Take Notice

Take ME out of trio huh?.....YA!!

Everyone knows soccer players are crazy weirdos prone to bouts of insanity. Really, how could you not be, running around in your cute little shorts and kicking a ball and wearing those super manly shin guards and all you get at half-time is some orange wedges then after the game you have to put your balls into a sack.

Plus, they are a bunch of pussies. They get slightly tripped up or bumped into and writhe around on the ground like their entire leg was sawed off and used to beat their puppy. They seem to be in horribly excruciating pain, like, someone dropped a bag of sand on their dick...from a great height* and then pop right back up and prance around like a tart.

But, now it turns out that a few of them decided being nuts and wimps just wasn't cutting it anymore, to many people were like that and they had to stand out from the crowd.

It is all about me in sports now anyways, right?

Well, Soccer America reports that Goalkeeper Diego Fernando of Colombian club Deportivo Pasto was non-to plussed with being pulled from his job as ball stopper and punched his coach in the grillz.

But, in an epic battle of one-up-man-ship Slavomir Milnovic, from amateur soccer team FC Mramor, lost his starting job as well. knowing that going back to his farm, thinking about what happened, vowing to get better and regain his starting spot was WAY to difficult, he decided to take a more level-headed approach.

He drove his freaking tractor into the stadium and plowed the field!!

No word if the corn he planted is growing or not.

What this means is simple. For all waterski show team Show Directors everywhere, be very careful with how you handle the delicate decision to remove someone from one of their acts!!

That girl you replace in a pyramid? She could come up and just sock you in the balls !! That guy who keeps missing his flip-turn? He may just go get his tractor and PLOW THE FUCKING WATER!!!

Beholden to your precarious position mr. show director, I am the one with the power.

Update: Apparently, not content with stories of soccer players as pussies is enough, some guys had to get caught on video acting like a bunch of idiots. This is great...has nothing to do with skiing, but, watch the video and realize these are grown men acting like a third-grade girls game of tag. Deadspin unearthed the video from website where it was posted on youtube. Holla.

*Thank you to the dugout for my favorite quote ever. If you have never been to their site, its the best thing on the entire interwebs, click below on the Rodrigo link for the dugout in question, or go here.

Nutty Soccer (
Rodrigo Bye Bye (

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