Mar 18, 2007

Moomba Masters Update

I am a garbage what?

In the interest of full-disclosure, this is the second try and writing this post. The first was just deleted by the CRB editor / common sense police because it sucked.

The joke was going to be how the press-release from the Moomba Masters, used by usawaterski, linked back and forth to each other and we would eventually all be caught in a death spiral of infinite loop mouse clicking and all die horrible deaths.

However, it ended up being about a billion pages long and stupid. Plus, trying to tackle / solve the mystery of Danyelle Bennett's injury proved to be to taxing to mix in to the pot.

So, this time around, we will simply tackle it on a point-by-point basis with some of our award winning crappy reporting.


First of all, the Moomba Masters returned this year after a one-year break. Seeing as there doesn't seem to be any cohesive tour, or tournament schedule, or point system or any real way to understand anything that is going on in the world, this came as a shock, A SHOCK, to three's of people.

Here is the basic run-down of the winners.
Slalom - Women
1. Karen Truelove (USA)
2. Sarah Green (GBR)
3. Jill Knutson (USA)

Slalom - Men
1. Jodi Fisher (GBR)
2. Aaron Larkin (NZL)
3. Marcus Brown (USA)

Tricks - Women
1. Michale Briant (AUS)
2. Ageliki Andriopoulou (GRE)
3. Rhoni Barton Bishoff (USA)

Tricks - Men
1. Javier Julio (ARG)
2. Ryan Dodd (CAN)
3. Joel Wing (AUS)

Jump - Women
1. Ageliki Andriopoulou (GRE)
2. Maria Vibranietsova (GRE
3. Marion Mathieu (FRA)

Jump - Men
1. Freddy Krueger (USA)
2. Jaret Llewellyn (CAN)
3. Ryan Dodd (CAN)
And, that is basically it.

There are no stories out there that we can find that really accurately, or at least coherently, describe the competition. If you want scores, hit up the Moomba Site, and take a look. I guess the conditions were rugged at various times and the scores, distances, etc, reflected that.

At the Malibu Open, remember that event? Nothing bad happened there.

That could also account for the "spectacular" crashes suffered by Felippe Miranda and Danyelle Bennett. Both flew home immediately to get fixed.

Err, doubt immediately, seeing as they would be soaking wet and wearing wetsuits. But, after being checked out they probably packed their bags and hit the road.

But, this is where the lack of coverage is frustrating, Danyelle Bennett is one of our favorite skiers and we want to know whats up.

We searched around and can't find anything. WTF?

Search the Moomba site and its just results and lame press-releases, you see and its the same lame press-release stuff, you find a couple articles that are hard to read and make no sense.

We searched the Bennetts website, and there isnt anything, other then some pictures...yes, we get it, she is cute!!

So, what the hell? What is going on? Cut and Pasted from the IWSF website, here is a snip of the only mildly informative article there is out there about the event.
There were many surprises on the water. Felippe Miranda (CHI) and Danyelle Bennett (USA) suffered spectacular crashes on the Jump Ramp. Those to fail to reach the Finals included Thomas Degasperi (ITA) and Terry Winter (USA) in Slalom, Christian Rampanelli (ITA) and Scott Ellis (USA) in Jump and Brigitte Lethem (FRA) and Joy Todd (USA) in Tricks.

Look, we certainly understand that since waterskiing is not really a mainstream sport it doesn't really get covered with the same degree of totality that others do, but, you would at least expect the waterski peeps to chime in here and there.

Sadly, no...

Plus, we are not looking on in morbid fascination at someone's injury, just simple curiosity as to what went down. Was the skiing good? What did the skiers think? How are the people who crashed doing?

Fuck it dude, lets go bowling.

Press Release (
Press Release (usawaterski)
Danyelle Bennet Page (
Magic Returns (IWSF)
Results (